feeling like utter crap

[evil_tomato]

Hi all

The title says it all really. I am a total failure. It's not just with girls but everything in life. I'm 26 and currently unemployed and I haven't been working in 3 years and have been on welfare benefits, struggling from pay check to pay check. I live at home with my parents so I don't pay rent which I'm thankful about but I still barely have any money to myself.

I apply for about 10 jobs a day and have been unsuccessful for 3 years. Yes I constantly update my resume but I also have visible tattoos that I can't cover which prevent me from doing certain jobs. Yes I know it's a bad mistake but I can't afford to get laser treatments as I have nearly a body suit of tattoos.

I don't have my high school certificate or any real stand out certificates mainly because I haven't found my calling in life. I've done a few courses but never finished them because I didn't end up liking them.

Being unemployed for so long with so many things against me, makes me feel like just chucking in the towel. I can't see my life getting better or easier. I'm getting older, lazier and more miserable.

I am also overweight and can't lose weight. I don't have the motivation to go to the gym and work out. I love food to much. It makes me happy. I do have a gym membership but I'm too lazy to work out and lately I've been too depressed to go in.

I can't even afford to buy new clothes or go out because I'm low on cash all the time so it's hard to meet girls.

I really don't know what to.do anymore. All I want to do is fall asleep and never wake up.

 

[Willard]

All is not lost, you can do much better than you have been. Read or listen to the psychology of achievement Brian Tracy, you can download it for free as a torrent, once you read it, you will realize you can accomplish anything you want to in life. The tattoos might keep you from getting some jobs, but not all, you can lose the weight, that's not a problem. Once you get your life on track with clear goals, you will start meeting girls.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Damn bro, there isn't much anyone here can say to drag you out of that rut.
You have to want to pull yourself out.
Work is good for the soul, so I'd advise doing any work you can. Whether it be packing shelves, hauling bricks on a building site, washing cars, flipping burgers....I know that's all menial shyt work but any job gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning and completing tasks gives you a sense of achievement and pride that extends beyond the workplace.

When I was about 23 my girlfriend dumped me and I proceeded to blaze all my money on an epic three-day bender.
I was on holidays from work at the time and still had a month off before my next pay cheque.
In the next four weeks I packed stirfry at the local abattoir, worked as a labourer at a fibreglass factory and picked fruit.
I work in an office, so those jobs truly sucked for me and I only earned about $150 a week for each one.
I admit that I didn't have the cushion of welfare to fall back on and my hand was forced otherwise I would've starved.
But what I'm trying to say is that even though these were menial, hard, shyt jobs, they still gave me an income and gave me a great feeling of pride that I was able to drag myself out of the hole I'd found myself in. You can too!

And you don't need to do that shyt forever, just do it until something better comes along. At least you'll have references from your previous employer to add to your arsenal.
And maybe doing something physical will help you tone up and lose weight.
All of a sudden you'll start feeling better about yourself and that chicks are checking you out.

Sitting on your arse every day collecting welfare is destroying your soul. Start earning your money through meaningful work and I reckon success will find you.
But YOU have to make that happen.
If you keep doing nothing, nothing will happen. You're going to have make drastic changes to kick start the process.

 

[Albatross953]

Read what greasy pig said again.

I will tell you this. You do have one thing some of us don't have. TIME. Do you know what I would give to have the time you have, and know what you know?

When I was your age, I thought women were forever. I thought life would sort itself out. I was asleep, blue pill time a million.

Do you know what I would give to be your age and have the chance to take life by the throat?

Don't you dare waste another day. You're not a failure. You're too young to even know what a failure is. Get out there.

 

[The Duke]

Evil Tomato-

I can't stand slack asses like you who use the system so you can sit on your fat ass while I'm busting mine to make things happen.

If it wasn't for broke lazy fuhks like you my taxes wouldn't be what they are either. Your types will be the death of this country.

Your work ethic sucks, your attitude sucks, your decision making skills suck, everything about you sucks. You contribute nothing to society.

Do us all a favor and drop off the map. I'm not buying any of your bs. Take your whining broke a$$ somewhere else. Your parents are part of the problem as well. They need a good ass kicking for enabling such a pathetic individual.

Did I make myself clear?

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

Take it one step at a time man. You are all over the place and if you do not focus on one thing at a time you will never get anything accomplished.

I would suggest losing weight first. That will build your self esteem and confidence up a bit and make you feel much better. That could be your number 1 goal right now.

Finishing highschool should be your next goal. Have you thought that nowhere wants to hire you maybe because you do not have a highschool diploma even on your resume? Most employers tend to not hire people without highschool diploma's. I have friends with body suits that are very successful business men so do not blame it all on your tattoo's.

Get your knowledge up, knowledge is power. There is this website that one of the guys posted on here a few days ago called workaway , where you can travel the world and volunteer with someone and they pay for your living expenses there. Travelling the world might help you figure out what you want to do with life.

It's all on you.. Nothing will ever be given to you in life. You have to go out and get it yourself. Set some small goals first.

 

[El Payaso]

Apply at McDonald's. I hear they're hiring.

 

[Johnny Alias]

Damn there are some ruthless dudes on here... I'm sure you guys are really helping his self-esteem...

Pay attention to the good advice. Harden the F up.

Sounds like you're a bit of a lost soul. We've all been there. Get the degree, get to the gym... and consider taking on a high-risk job in an oil field, fishery, whatever to make a ton of dough. 20K jobs just opened up in N. Dakota if you live stateside. My point is you need to get that lasered off if you want a long term deal...

Albatross is RIGHT. You have time. I'm 12 years older than you are. I don't have a wife. No kid. I feel some pressure on that front but do my best not to let it bother me.

You have time to get it together man. Don't get down on yourself... and don't post on this board unless you want GOOD, BAD, and UGLY advice. For real.

Tap your social network man. Do it. You've got friends and family that will hook you up with a job. If not, make new friends.

 

[evil_tomato]

Wow to those of you giving me sh1t because I'm on welfare let me just say it's not like I enjoy it being on it. I get fu** all and barely enough to survive. This is why I'm so depressed that I can't get a job. I'm tired of struggling and having nothing while I watch everyone else my age with nice clothes, cars, successful jobs get by who are also settling down with women.

I would love to travel the world but again I have no money to do it. Would love to work overseas but I've been told it's very expensive and unless you have some sort of degree you can't get in.

I've thought going back to school but I won't be finished year 12 until I'm 28 and then by the time I'll finish uni I'll be in my 30s. Way too old. Nobody wants to hire old people, it'll make my situation worse. Besides what do I do in the mean time? I.still need cash and can't stay on welfare forever

 

[Albatross953]

Week one. Go to the gym and keep going.
Week two. Take any job, taco bell, jiffy lube. Work hard, save ten percent.
Week three. Sign onto a night class. Anything free.
Week four. Make a plan. Go out west, school, trades, job search.
Week five. Repeat first four steps for ten years. Build a life.

You're the only one who can do this.

 

[Yewki]

Wow to those of you giving me sh1t because I'm on welfare let me just say it's not like I enjoy it being on it.

... and yet you've been on it for what, three years? Right.

Sorry to say it dude but you have these problems because your mentality and attitude suck ass. You like making excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, so most if not all the advice posted will probably be wasted on you. If I had to guess you're looking for sympathy and attention... with no real desire to actually stop your bad habits and stop being a burden to your familty society in general.

Grow the f**k up.

 

[JoeMarron]

I love food to much. It makes me happy.

Sounds like a bullsh!t excuse to me. You're always going to feel horrible if you're unhealthy. Get that sorted out first. You live in a first world country, you are more privileged than billions, you have access to a vast network of human experience and knowledge known as the internet. There is absolutely no reason why you can't make something of yourself. Dig deep and find a way, or wallow in your situation and live a miserable existence.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Maybe i'm a heartless a**hole, but i'm sorry there's been WAAY too many of these threads on here lately. This is not a forum to b!tch about how your life sucks. We are a self help forum but we want to hear about how you are going to fix this, not how your life utterly and completely sucks. All these guys are going to tell you essentially the same thing (but some may sugarcoat it: Cowboy Up and do something about it. You're the only person that can do something about it.

You have a few options:
1) Take on a new attitude and revamp your life in massive ways, force yourself to become less lazy. Even if you take small steps, make a plan to improve your life in some way every day.
2) Continue to feel bad about yourself and keep on living miserably, regretting that you failed to change the course your life took
3) End it.

I'm NOT encouraging suicide. I'm just being blunt.
As for working out, you have NO EXCUSE for that. Unless you have severe debilitating injuries. And even then...people overcome that. You have a fvcking gym membership. You have a computer. Your first step is to read as much as you can about nutrition and exercise and implement that. As for food??? Who said you have to eat less?? A calorie is not a calorie. You just need to revamp your diet and stop eating SH!T. I eat 4-5 meals per day and force myself to eat until i feel sick for the sake of gaining muscle mass. I'm 175lbs, lean as fvck. I'm not trying to brag. But 3 years ago i was a scrawny skinny-fat little b!tch who's posture was all fvcked up. I did something about it and i've maintained it for years. It takes a lifestyle change. And it is HARD. Just do it.

Your health is more important than ANY other aspect of your life. Period. If you eat healthy and exercise properly and consistently, there are so many benefits i cant even list them all. Your energy levels will be steady, you'll be happy, confident, pain-free, you wont get sick often, you will have more motivation. You will look more attractive. I dont care what anyone says. In the job market, if you are a fit, muscular man, people will immediately perceive you as more intelligent, capable, strong, responsible. A man who takes care of his body usually possesses the same motivation and qualities that are attractive to an employer.

 

[evil_tomato]

Thanks to all who have replied and given solid advice. I know you guys think I'm making excuses and what not but I'm really not. A lot of this advice is easier said then done. Also I suffer from depression which doesn't help and I'm taking meds but can't afford to see a therapist.

I would love to get into a degree is business/accounting but whose going to hire me I'm my 30s with hand tattoos? That's reality not an excuse

 

[fuko2007]

Evil tomato, sounds like your in a rut. Take all the advice these guys are giving you. Maybe you need to go get your GED and talk to a recruiter. Army is your best bet aside from the marine corps

 

[Johnny Alias]

Evil tomato, sounds like your in a rut. Take all the advice these guys are giving you. Maybe you need to go get your GED and talk to a recruiter. Army is your best bet aside from the marine corps

Second that... sign up. They MAY even pay for you to get this stuff lasered off.

You'll save money and get bucks for a degree. This is last chance saloon.

Either you care about yourself or you effing don't. This is the best path. It'll be tough... or you can be a depressing little *****. Your choice.

 

[Cremasta]

Whenever I read a post like yours, it always makes me think of a line I read in Steven King's book 'The Gunslinger'
"Control the things you can control, maggot. Let everything else take a flying fvck at you, and if you must go down, go down with your guns blazing." Inspiring, no?

Right now I'd suggest you forget about girls and forget about the gym. What you need is to bring some routine and dignity back into your life.
If you were working full time, you'd be there for 40 hours a week, right?
So to get ready for that, set aside 40 hours each week to do things that will help you with either routine or dignity, here's a few:

1. Keep looking for and applying for jobs - Johnny Alias was right, use your friends and other connections to get your foot in the door. It's not what you know OR who you know... it's who knows you.

2. Do all of the housework for your parents (vacuuming, dishes, laundry, gardening, etc.) - when you eventually move out, you'll have to do all this anyway. Gives you a routine, it counts as exercise, and you get used to doing something for other people which is generally what work involves.

3. Do the grocery shopping. Walk to the shops, don't drive or bus. This gives you a functional reason to exercise other than repetitively picking up heavy bits of steel in the gym.

4. Learn to cook good meals - again because your parents are supporting you, but also because women love the shyt out of men who can cook.

5. Go find a local accounting firm (or whatever business interests you) and volunteer your time - If you can't sell it, then give it away for free. It gives you real work experience and employers can put a face to a name - see point 1.

6. Can you finish your school certificate online or by correspondence?​

Once you get a job, then you start re-prioritising what I've written here.
You'll be amazed at what you can achieve in 40 hours if you're disciplined about it.

Over to you.

 

[TheTruth]

Evil Tomato-

I can't stand slack asses like you who use the system so you can sit on your fat ass while I'm busting mine to make things happen.

If it wasn't for broke lazy fuhks like you my taxes wouldn't be what they are either. Your types will be the death of this country.

Your work ethic sucks, your attitude sucks, your decision making skills suck, everything about you sucks. You contribute nothing to society.

Do us all a favor and drop off the map. I'm not buying any of your bs. Take your whining broke a$$ somewhere else. Your parents are part of the problem as well. They need a good ass kicking for enabling such a pathetic individual.

Did I make myself clear?

I can't stand stupid people like you. Another internet tough guy. If it wasn't for people like you the world would be a better place.

Your attitude sucks, your decision making skills suck and I hope for all are sakes you never post on the internet again. If you have parents slap both of them for raising such a unsympathetic loser.

 

[The Duke]

I can't stand stupid people like you. Another internet tough guy. If it wasn't for people like you the world would be a better place.

Your attitude sucks, your decision making skills suck and I hope for all are sakes you never post on the internet again. If you have parents slap both of them for raising such a unsympathetic loser.

So I'm stupid because I've made smart choices with my life and kept my self out of situations like this? Come one dude, you need some bigger guns.

If it wasn't for people like me, lazy fuhks like you are trying to support wouldn't have any welfare to buy food to keep themselves fat!

Obviously if you are on food stamps/welfare and still fat, you are consuming too much. Maybe you should give back instead of take, take, take.

I'm proud to say I've never had one bit of government assistance be it unemployment or food stamps. I also pay my bills on time and don't have credit card debt. If thats an "internet tough guy" then I'm guilty!

And if you are so sympathetic then how about you send this loser $100? I'm sure he would appreciate it!

 

[lanba]

You don't need the gym, you're carrying around loads of weight as it is, you just have to use it to your advantage. Any activity is better than none, if you can stand up and use the computer, do that instead of sitting down. It's a gradual process, you're not going to go from couch potato to athletic in any short amount of time, but you can feel a little healthier next week just by being more active than you were before, whatever that amounts to. Do it for yourself and not for any girl or job.

You need to learn to listen to your body, and then do what it says. In western cultures we see the body as a kind of meat based robot for carrying our brains around, and consequently we tend to ignore and mistreat it. Simple things like drinking enough water, making sure you drink water first if you're thirsty, before any kind of fizzy drink or alcohol, will give you that extra energy you need to actually make a change in your life. Processing that crap out of your system takes energy and that's probably while you feel like **** all the time.