Feeling like a b@stard...which means I'm doing right.

[Betterz]

I'm dating multiple women until one of them proves worthy to take me off the market. The ball is in their court really.

That's a bit unfair. That's playing their game. That's what girls do. Vye for the best man to settle with. Rather it's mens responsibility to choose the best woman in his courtship circle to take off the market and go exclusive with. How long and how much does she have to prove until she's worth you exclusively? How long will you keep running the tests of compliance and compatibility on these women? My gut says if none of them are suitable within a few months, start a new courtship circle (get new plates). Why play them when you already know they're not the best candidates. I'm actually in this same situation at the moment. I'm going to have to find new girls. None are what are want long term. Pity, they all so beautiful and unique in their own way. I also heard a saying, you'll never find a perfect partner, you'll have to accept that your future partner will not be perfect but you have to learn to love that difference and embrace it.

Peace

Bz

 

[Renegade357]

I'm going to have to find new girls. None are what are want long term. Pity, they all so beautiful and unique in their own way. I also heard a saying, you'll never find a perfect partner, you'll have to accept that your future partner will not be perfect but you have to learn to love that difference and embrace it.

What else are we going to do? I just want to get with a girl long term that motivates and excites me yet isn't a complete psycho. She doesn't even have to be an exciting person to do that. I hear what you're saying and I'll say I don't want to spend more than 2-3 dates with the wrong girl.

 

[Don_Dom]

That's a bit unfair. That's playing their game. That's what girls do. Vye for the best man to settle with. Rather it's mens responsibility to choose the best woman in his courtship circle to take off the market and go exclusive with.

Steaming pile of AFC dung, this.

In case you missed the memo, we are well into the post-feminist era. They have taken for themselves every possible choice and privledge imaginable, and then more, and then more, still, to the detriment of men and, arguably, children and many women. Indeed, society in general. These delicate daisies, while they exercise all of their other choices can pony up and accept responsibility for who they freaking date, for how long, and for what reasons. Sheesh. A spinning plate is not necessarily being lied to or misled and they, absolutely, will press the issue when they feel it needs to be pressed. Women are not the hapless victims they would like for us to believe.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

 

[skinnyguy]

The most repeated words of advice on this site are "let go and move on" and "spin plates". These are of key importance to becoming successful with women and your whole game will transform and improve naturally by doing just these two things. And yet, so many guys refuse to act on this advice because it goes against their natural nice guy habits.

I used to be that guy. Luckily, I woke up and realized how wrong I was

Plate spinning is easily justifiable. Women do it too - often more than men do. Nuff said.

The last girl I dated, man, she had her phone blowing up with texts from guys every time we hung out. I'm not sure if she was effing them, but she was keeping them in her orbit. Women want options as much as we do and yes, if you don't keep your options open, she'll dump you and you'll feel "crushed" because you didn't have a Plan B or C.

I'm still a work in process. I don't quite feel like a DJ yet but I'm just glad that I'm shedding my nice guy mentality. I am starting to hate nice guys and AFCs. Moreover, I'm starting to really realize why women hate them and only go for men who bust their balls.

 

[Jariel]

I'm still a work in process. I don't quite feel like a DJ yet but I'm just glad that I'm shedding my nice guy mentality. I am starting to hate nice guys and AFCs. Moreover, I'm starting to really realize why women hate them and only go for men who bust their balls.

I believe recognising what it is about nice guys that women hate is a big step in your transformation. Likewise when you look back at girls who rejected or dumped you and you think "Ah, now it makes sense why they did that" or "Yeah, I deserved that".

Women like to try and keep men as men. This is why they test them, punish them for being wimps or turn cold on them when they act clingy.

If you really take time to become aware, there are a lot of clues in the way women behave and make you feel that should allow you to put yourself back on course.

Unfortunately many guys see a woman pulling away and they try to chase her or win her back, when what she's telling you (in her own way) is that her interest is dropping and you need to man up.

This is a good thing though because if women rewarded AFC behaviour, men would all be slaves to women.

 

[DarkDetective50]

I don't know you but I'd wager your feelings of guilt are genuine and probably well deserved. You probably feel guilty because you are misleading and taking advantage of these women, yet you attempt to justify your actions because women may have hurt you in similar ways in the past. So you continue to "spin plates" and deceive girls for your sexual gain, slowly hating yourself more and more every day until you are completely empty inside, with no amount of sex being able to fill the void.

Jariel, I'm not judging you and I know you're not trying to be hurtful or bitter. I'm simply saying that your conscience is telling you something, and you can try to ignore it, but it will eat at you and build up and make you a miserable person if you don't address it.

Listen guys. Women can do heartless things. But now that we've learned more about how they think and behave, we need to be men and rise above it. The good news is that we can still have everything we want and more, while being true to ourselves.

I have several fruitful relationships with wonderful girls, and while I'm closer to some then others, I'm emotionally involved with every single one of them. Every girl I'm with is treated as a separate relationship. Even if it's just a one night fling, I put everything I have into it, emotionally and physically. Sound difficult? Fuck yes it is. I don't hide anything. These girls know the situation, they have feelings for me and I reciprocate them. I send them texts when I'm thinking about them or buy them gifts when appropriate. If I know one of my girls is having a bad day I'll surprise her and take her out. I love the fuck out of them.

Feelings are the currency of life. You may think you need to protect your heart and stay detached, but if you ever want to win big at this game, you have to bet it all. You have to dive in head first and know that you're going to take some punches, but in the end the ride is worth it. When you are truly loved (and loved by many), you will rise to higher levels. You will achieve more as a man than you ever could without that warmth on your side.

I have a challenge for all of you plate spinners reading this. Just once, the next time one of your girls comes over for a booty call, instead of mindlessly fucking her and passing out, I want you to hold her and fuck her and kiss her and lay with her like she's the love of your life. Even if she generally annoys the shit out of you, I want you to honestly try to love her during the short time you spend together. Pay attention to how she responds and how she feels after the experience. More than likely she will be glowing with warmth and happiness, and I'd be willing to bet that you'll feel pretty good about yourself as well.

These experiences build up inside of you subconsciously. I'm not into hocus pocus bullshit, but you do give off an energy that reflects the net result of your inner feelings. I cannot explain it, but I feel like even when I don't say or do anything, people are sort of drawn to me... more than ever before (it wasn't always like that). It's never been so effortless for me to meet and connect with wonderful, beautiful women.

Conversely, when you feel that twinge of guilt because you know the girl you're with is giving you more than you're giving her, know that these experiences will stay with you and take their toll.

Sheesh. White Knight much?

 

[Jariel]

Here's a cool talk from Tyler from RSD on the abundance mentality...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjHSISVojoY

I've never been one to care much for pick up artists, but in recent years Tyler has really matured and is offering some solid advice, especially in terms of abundance, self-perception and developing a confident mindset.

 

[Jariel]

I just wanted to add that one of the things I've noticed now that I'm spinning multiple plates is that I'm messaging them without any fear of consequence. To a couple I'm escalating sexually and been playfully forward, and they've responded well. Others I've been saying how well I feel we connect and how much I enjoy talking to them and getting to know them.

A lot of guys here will tell you that you should play it cool, don't engage in texting and certainly don't be talking about connections, and yet these girls are like putty in my hands. The key is that I'm saying this stuff with confidence, not out of neediness. This is the great benefit of spinning plates.

 

[skinnyguy]

I just wanted to add that one of the things I've noticed now that I'm spinning multiple plates is that I'm messaging them without any fear of consequence. To a couple I'm escalating sexually and been playfully forward, and they've responded well. Others I've been saying how well I feel we connect and how much I enjoy talking to them and getting to know them.

A lot of guys here will tell you that you should play it cool, don't engage in texting and certainly don't be talking about connections, and yet these girls are like putty in my hands. The key is that I'm saying this stuff with confidence, not out of neediness. This is the great benefit of spinning plates.

Nice work. Yes, it's completely different when you text chicks like they are toys. If you aren't desperate you say exactly what's on your mind, and that is actually in your favor most of the time.

 

[JoeMarron]

I have several fruitful relationships with wonderful girls, and while I'm closer to some then others, I'm emotionally involved with every single one of them. Every girl I'm with is treated as a separate relationship. Even if it's just a one night fling, I put everything I have into it, emotionally and physically. Sound difficult? **** yes it is. I don't hide anything. These girls know the situation, they have feelings for me and I reciprocate them. I send them texts when I'm thinking about them or buy them gifts when appropriate. If I know one of my girls is having a bad day I'll surprise her and take her out. I love the **** out of them.

Feelings are the currency of life. You may think you need to protect your heart and stay detached, but if you ever want to win big at this game, you have to bet it all. You have to dive in head first and know that you're going to take some punches, but in the end the ride is worth it. When you are truly loved (and loved by many), you will rise to higher levels. You will achieve more as a man than you ever could without that warmth on your side.

I have a challenge for all of you plate spinners reading this. Just once, the next time one of your girls comes over for a booty call, instead of mindlessly ****ing her and passing out, I want you to hold her and **** her and kiss her and lay with her like she's the love of your life. Even if she generally annoys the **** out of you, I want you to honestly try to love her during the short time you spend together. Pay attention to how she responds and how she feels after the experience. More than likely she will be glowing with warmth and happiness, and I'd be willing to bet that you'll feel pretty good about yourself as well.

This I can definitely agree with.

Conversely, when you feel that twinge of guilt because you know the girl you're with is giving you more than you're giving her, know that these experiences will stay with you and take their toll.

This however is bullsh!t. Somebody is going to be giving less and it better be the man. Women want to chase us and work for our love and approval, that's the natural order.

 

[GotED?]

Feelings are the currency of life. You may think you need to protect your heart and stay detached, but if you ever want to win big at this game, you have to bet it all. You have to dive in head first and know that you're going to take some punches, but in the end the ride is worth it. When you are truly loved (and loved by many), you will rise to higher levels. You will achieve more as a man than you ever could without that warmth on your side.

I have a challenge for all of you plate spinners reading this. Just once, the next time one of your girls comes over for a booty call, instead of mindlessly fucking her and passing out, I want you to hold her and fuck her and kiss her and lay with her like she's the love of your life. Even if she generally annoys the shit out of you, I want you to honestly try to love her during the short time you spend together. Pay attention to how she responds and how she feels after the experience. More than likely she will be glowing with warmth and happiness, and I'd be willing to bet that you'll feel pretty good about yourself as well.

These experiences build up inside of you subconsciously. I'm not into hocus pocus bullshit, but you do give off an energy that reflects the net result of your inner feelings. I cannot explain it, but I feel like even when I don't say or do anything, people are sort of drawn to me... more than ever before (it wasn't always like that). It's never been so effortless for me to meet and connect with wonderful, beautiful women.

Conversely, when you feel that twinge of guilt because you know the girl you're with is giving you more than you're giving her, know that these experiences will stay with you and take their toll.

+1 repped to dbot for having the guts to defend his own belief system against the mainstream opinion of this thread.

So we men comes in various packagings, colors, parenting, childhood, personality, and even (speaking spiritually) different soul levels of growth.
There is absolutely nothing wrong about one 'spinning plates' or not doing so OR following a serial dating mentality. The only thing is wrong is when one forces their own opinion on others which is ego driven and self-righteousness. In fact, I don't believe there is right or wrong in this world, just different levels of perception and experiences each to their own in life.

However, DBOT did hit one thing correctly I believe ALL MEN on here need to put some thought into. The man UPSTAIRS (whatever you call him/her) designed each and all of us to be different. In fact, this would be a pretty fooked up boring world if we were all DJ's at 100% capacity in mind-fooking women over, right? So you must decide for yourself what is right for your soul (and also known as 'conscience'). Do you feel BAD about doing something or after you do something? Then it probably wasn't mean for YOUR SOUL - but another man probably is perfectly fine for it, as they can care less.

The important thing here is that if you CARE, and still do something that FEELS BAD TO YOU, why are you trying to be something the man UPSTAIRS didn't design for you to be? Why are you trying to fit the perfect circular you into a square peg?

I personally can never spin multiple plates (nor have one night stands) - it is not in the design of my personality, moral belief, and conscience. However, I still learned to become a man in slowly commanding the presence of beautiful women in my dating life, just serially (and in parallel without getting emotionally involved). However, I incorporated other concepts into my unique soul that works for me; as I believe firmly the KEY to being successful with women is having the ABILITY TO WALK AWAY AT ANYTIME. I can not stress this enough - once you had enough 9's and 10's in women, you see through their lack of uniqueness in the heart and soul. They are a beautiful hollow meat suit without much to give in the human spirit and love (not all, but a lot due to their shallowness and vanity for a lifetime).

As DBOT had said, I also immensely enjoy the DEEP connection I have with a woman (no, not her vagina, get your head out of the gutters!) I am dating or in a LTR with. There's not much more fulfilling in life for me than to give and receive love from a woman of proper depth. However, YOU MUST QUALIFY YOUR WOMEN!! Never just settle for the prettiest one that gives you attention - this is from painful experiences. Most men on here are naive and still struggling to reach the Holy Grail of being with a HB7+ and at all cost sometimes. No wonder they get walked all over - but this is a lesson for every man to learn for themselves. You can experience DEEP connection with a woman when you own your own power as a man in the process and also let her know who's in charge and you can walk away at anytime. In fact, I tell every woman I date in the beginning this fact, and I act upon my word later and usually break up the relationship always first when she starts misbehaving and the facade comes down.

Honor your special design of who you are - there is one thing to develop and own the mastery of being with women; but without the sacrifice of disowning who you are as a human being unique to who you are and certainly not the loss of your innocence or happiness to achieve that figment of your imagination in being a 'DJ'. The only DJ you can be is who you believe is a man for yourself, not any other man's example.

Be well, and be happy.

Exodus

 

[dbot]

I didn't intend for my response to be interpreted on any spiritual level, but the message is still the same and I'm glad you get the big picture.

Detachment might get you laid and make you content over the short term, but a detached life is a meaningless one. How can you be happy in a state of detachment?

A lot of guys will say they're only detached about women because they don't need them. That's false, and repeating it won't make it true. If they didn't need women then they wouldn't be on this site talking about how you don't need women. You may not need women to survive, but you certainly need them to thrive.

I think the "detachment is good" idea came from the generally sound advice that you shouldn't become needy or overly dependent on the outcome of relationships in their early stages. Unfortunately this gets extrapolated to mean that you should make zero emotional investment in a girl so that way you can tell her to fuck off at any time.

But if you can walk away that easily, then you'll never have any connection beyond the purely physical, and certainly nothing that will be truly fulfilling over the long term.

Sheesh. White Knight much?

Believe it or not, my words were intended for your benefit.

This however is bullsh!t. Somebody is going to be giving less and it better be the man.

If you continuously reinforce behavior that you feel negatively about, it will show through in your body language, your energy, and how you carry yourself.

Also, why does someone have to be giving less? And why does it need to be the man? I don't understand this dick measuring contest of who can get the most out of women while giving the least. You're asking for pain. Just like in business, the wealth you earn is determined by the amount of value you can deliver.

Simply having value isn't enough. Women chase the men who have value to give.

 

[JohnChops]

I didn't intend for my response to be interpreted on any spiritual level, but the message is still the same and I'm glad you get the big picture.

Detachment might get you laid and make you content over the short term, but a detached life is a meaningless one. How can you be happy in a state of detachment?

You can say, "I'm only detached about women because I don't need them." That is a myth of this forum and the PUA community. If you didn't need women then you wouldn't be on this site talking about how you don't need women. You may not need women to survive, but you certainly need them to thrive.


Believe it or not, my words were intended for your benefit.


If you continuously reinforce behavior that you feel negatively about, it will show through in your body language, your energy, and how you carry yourself.

Also, why does someone have to be giving less? And why does it need to be the man? I don't understand this dick measuring contest of who can get the most out of women while giving the least. You're asking for pain. Just like in business, the wealth you earn is determined by the amount of value you can deliver.

Simply having value isn't enough. Women chase the men who have value to give.

Dbot you're back?!

 

[Mr_Stinky]

The problem I've had in the past is I used to try to date one girl at a time. That caused me to miss a lot of opportunities with other women who could have been a better match long term. I'm not making that mistake again. I'm dating multiple women until one of them proves worthy to take me off the market. The ball is in their court really.

All of this! So very true. Take heed to this advice aspiring DJ's

 

[Don_Dom]

Not spinning plates puts you at a serious disadvantage because it's the road to oneitis which, in most cases, is because you are lonely or being lazy and willing to settle. Or, more accurately, loneliness and laziness makes you more apt to settle and spinning plates helps avoid that. You are more confident and empowered against their manipulation and will have them chasing you when you have active options, not the other way around.

Plus, I really don't understand what the moral problem or crisis of conscience is. These are people you've just met and are getting to know. You don't owe new girlfriends monogamy any more than you are obligated to stop hanging out with old friends once you make a new one. Don't lie to them or mislead anyone, be honorable about it. But the idea that someone you just met has some ownership of you is absurd. And it is very AFC thinking to assume that just because a woman is dating or banging you that she automatically wants more. Let her worry about getting that across to you. She might be just fine seeing you for dinner and a lay once a week.

There are a lot of ways guys justify getting lazy or rationalizing being to scared to approach new women when the opportunity arises. I suspect this is one of them. "I'm already seeing someone (a 5) so I'm 'above' having to find my balls and game and go talk to that girl (a 9) who keeps giving me looks over there" kind of thing.

When you sit down with one and have a discussion about mutual monogamy, THAT's when you are monogamous. Not because you had two dates and banged.

Think of learning to spin plates as part of the process of deprogramming yourself from the years of AFC brainwashing done by hollywood, your mother, etc.

 

[Jariel]

Think of learning to spin plates as part of the process of deprogramming yourself from the years of AFC brainwashing done by hollywood, your mother, etc.

Great post, but this is the part that really jumped out for me.

People are saying that spinning plates and playing the field goes against their conscience, but you have to ask where does that conscience come from? I know that the guilt I feel when I spin plates is the result of going against what has been instilled into me all my life.

It's the same as facing your fears. Your mind is telling you to move back into your comfort zone, yet you know that if you can face your fears it will give you a big advantage in life.

I believe it's very important for us to confront our fears, but it is just as important for us to confront our conscience too.

 

[JoeMarron]

If you continuously reinforce behavior that you feel negatively about, it will show through in your body language, your energy, and how you carry yourself.

Also, why does someone have to be giving less? And why does it need to be the man? I don't understand this **** measuring contest of who can get the most out of women while giving the least. You're asking for pain. Just like in business, the wealth you earn is determined by the amount of value you can deliver.

Simply having value isn't enough. Women chase the men who have value to give.

If a dude feels negatively about sex because he grew up in a strict religious household should he become celibate? We need to think rationally about things instead of letting guilt drive our actions. It's not about getting the most out of women while giving the least, it's simply following the natural order of male/female relationships. It's the man's job to invite women into his life as an accessory and it's a woman's job to devote her life to her man's success. The chaser is always going to be giving more than the chased. This doesn't mean that men are leeches who just want to suck value out of women without giving anything in return. A man can still love, respect and give value to a women while still caring less than she is. Ironically, she'll love him even more for it.