dbot said:
Feelings are the currency of life. You may think you need to protect your heart and stay detached, but if you ever want to win big at this game, you have to bet it all. You have to dive in head first and know that you're going to take some punches, but in the end the ride is worth it. When you are truly loved (and loved by many), you will rise to higher levels. You will achieve more as a man than you ever could without that warmth on your side.
I have a challenge for all of you plate spinners reading this. Just once, the next time one of your girls comes over for a booty call, instead of mindlessly fucking her and passing out, I want you to hold her and fuck her and kiss her and lay with her like she's the love of your life. Even if she generally annoys the shit out of you, I want you to honestly try to love her during the short time you spend together. Pay attention to how she responds and how she feels after the experience. More than likely she will be glowing with warmth and happiness, and I'd be willing to bet that you'll feel pretty good about yourself as well.
These experiences build up inside of you subconsciously. I'm not into hocus pocus bullshit, but you do give off an energy that reflects the net result of your inner feelings. I cannot explain it, but I feel like even when I don't say or do anything, people are sort of drawn to me... more than ever before (it wasn't always like that). It's never been so effortless for me to meet and connect with wonderful, beautiful women.
Conversely, when you feel that twinge of guilt because you know the girl you're with is giving you more than you're giving her, know that these experiences will stay with you and take their toll.
+1 repped to dbot for having the guts to defend his own belief system against the mainstream opinion of this thread.
So we men comes in various packagings, colors, parenting, childhood, personality, and even (speaking spiritually) different soul levels of growth.
There is absolutely nothing wrong about one 'spinning plates' or not doing so OR following a serial dating mentality. The only thing is wrong is when one forces their own opinion on others which is ego driven and self-righteousness. In fact, I don't believe there is right or wrong in this world, just different levels of perception and experiences each to their own in life.
However, DBOT did hit one thing correctly I believe ALL MEN on here need to put some thought into. The man UPSTAIRS (whatever you call him/her) designed each and all of us to be different. In fact, this would be a pretty fooked up boring world if we were all DJ's at 100% capacity in mind-fooking women over, right? So you must decide for yourself what is right for your soul (and also known as 'conscience'). Do you feel BAD about doing something or after you do something? Then it probably wasn't mean for YOUR SOUL - but another man probably is perfectly fine for it, as they can care less.
The important thing here is that if you CARE, and still do something that FEELS BAD TO YOU, why are you trying to be something the man UPSTAIRS didn't design for you to be? Why are you trying to fit the perfect circular you into a square peg?
I personally can never spin multiple plates (nor have one night stands) - it is not in the design of my personality, moral belief, and conscience. However, I still learned to become a man in slowly commanding the presence of beautiful women in my dating life, just serially (and in parallel without getting emotionally involved). However, I incorporated other concepts into my unique soul that works for me; as I believe firmly the KEY to being successful with women is having the ABILITY TO WALK AWAY AT ANYTIME. I can not stress this enough - once you had enough 9's and 10's in women, you see through their lack of uniqueness in the heart and soul. They are a beautiful hollow meat suit without much to give in the human spirit and love (not all, but a lot due to their shallowness and vanity for a lifetime).
As DBOT had said, I also immensely enjoy the DEEP connection I have with a woman (no, not her vagina, get your head out of the gutters!) I am dating or in a LTR with. There's not much more fulfilling in life for me than to give and receive love from a woman of proper depth. However, YOU MUST QUALIFY YOUR WOMEN!! Never just settle for the prettiest one that gives you attention - this is from painful experiences. Most men on here are naive and still struggling to reach the Holy Grail of being with a HB7+ and at all cost sometimes. No wonder they get walked all over - but this is a lesson for every man to learn for themselves. You can experience DEEP connection with a woman when you own your own power as a man in the process and also let her know who's in charge and you can walk away at anytime. In fact, I tell every woman I date in the beginning this fact, and I act upon my word later and usually break up the relationship always first when she starts misbehaving and the facade comes down.
Honor your special design of who you are - there is one thing to develop and own the mastery of being with women; but without the sacrifice of disowning who you are as a human being unique to who you are and certainly not the loss of your innocence or happiness to achieve that figment of your imagination in being a 'DJ'. The only DJ you can be is who you believe is a man for yourself, not any other man's example.
Be well, and be happy.
Exodus