father molests her I think

[BrandoCommando]

Her fathers a preacher and **** and you know how weird they can be. She does go anywhere doesnt want to do cant or doesnt want to go anywhere w/ guys. was going to prom now isnt "has no desire to" shes a freaking senior and didnt go last year. Whats up? or shes a closet lesbo. she did have tears one morning b/c she found out her friend wasnt going to youth group thing w/ her, she goes to another school, her mom told her this and I seen her with tears when she came to school.

Would it be ok to ask? sad, but I really would like to help, probably make it worse heh?

 

[syemour]

what probable evidence do you have that leads you to this conclusion?

 

[backbreaker]

RUN AWAY

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION


Trust me, in the longrun there is absolutly no good that can come out of this situtation

Been there done that

My old oneitis, actually I made a post about it on this site about 6 months ago has had... daddy issues for as long as I have known her, about 5 years

well I didn't find out what thoose daddy issues were until last year


dad used to come home drunk every other night, pulled a gun on the girl before, I dont' think he actaully ever HIT her but he put the wood on her mom a few times I know of

So she called me one day, I mean, we talked pretty often, and She is like 'well, my mom is out of town tonight, and I dont' want to stay at home with my dad alone, so can I come stay with you tonight?"

This wasn't the first time, even when I had a GF, It was clear that if that she always had a spot over my place if she didn't feel comfortable around her dad when her mom wasn't there, which was pretty often, because regrdless of what any girl i am talking to thinks, that's some serious ****... she used to have a BF so she didn't always take me up on that offer, but it was there nevertheless

So I say sure, but I'm not going to be there, I'm going out, I'll be back later on that night"

So she doesn't come over, which I don't care, not a big deal, she goes and kicks it with actually my ex GF

So I get a call the night day, she is going to pick her mom up from the airport, and she is sobbing on the phone about something her dad did, I didn't get the entire conversation then but it sounded pretty serious...

So That was friday.. it's sunday night and I haven't heard from her.. I called her house phone, off the hook, and it's a business line, I called her cell phone, no answer.. I even called her mom's cell phone (her and I did b usiness together from time to time) no answer.. for 3 days

so I say you know what.. her dad is a whino that hits up on his wife and possibly this girl, ovbsiously something happened, they have had to call the police before on him.. **** it.. so I call the police and just have them literarly drive by to make sure everythnig is okay..

plus I have an alaskian huskey that's over there

So her mom calls me like the next morning and tears me a new one... which at the time I can kinda understand, and in retropspect it wasn't my place to but in their family affairs, no matter how ****ed up they are.

So my old onieits can't "talk on the phone to me anymore" (she's 22, going to be 23 this year).. I mean, we talk anyway but I don't call her... and eventually we get around to talking abuot what happened, and she says "I know why you did what you did, but my parents are mad at me"

I'm like "well... leave.. you are grown"

To shorten this up, all she was doing was throwing herself her own damn pitty party... she would call me at least once a month, and whine about how bad her life was but never wanted to do anything about it... doesn't want to get a job, get her own car (22 and has never had her own car, and her family is upper-middle class) own place, nothing.

It's not that you don't want to help... it's that you can't help anyone that doesn' twant to be helped


In actuality, her issues now help me paint a clearer picture of her and I am starting to understand why she is the way she is... but we don't really talk anymore, and I have never felt better, I used to literarly have to deal with my problems and help her deal with hers

 

[T Money]

I don't know about what backbreaker said. It might be good advice since he's been in that position. But if it's NOT true, then you're in the clear.

I would start out by saying something like "Is something on your mind?"

And if she says "no" say "Well, I know you better than that. You can tell me."

And that will usually break the ice enough for her to spill a little bit.

Maybe hint toward the subject, but don't directly say something like "so does your dad molest you?"

Because either

A: she'll break down in tears or

B: she'll think you're a psycho for even thinking of such things.

Take it slow, figure out what SHE wants you to know.

 

[Create Reality]

Do NOT play Captain SAVE A HOE! And do NOT ask her if her father molests her.

Just do what BackBreaker said, and run. :woo:

 

[T Money]

well yeah, but if he CARES about this girl, then he shouldn't run. He should man-up and see if his question can be answered

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by T Money
I don't know about what backbreaker said. It might be good advice since he's been in that position. But if it's NOT true, then you're in the clear.

I would start out by saying something like "Is something on your mind?"

And if she says "no" say "Well, I know you better than that. You can tell me."

And that will usually break the ice enough for her to spill a little bit.

Maybe hint toward the subject, but don't directly say something like "so does your dad molest you?"

Because either

A: she'll break down in tears or

B: she'll think you're a psycho for even thinking of such things.

Take it slow, figure out what SHE wants you to know.

Originally posted by T Money
well yeah, but if he CARES about this girl, then he shouldn't run. He should man-up and see if his question can be answered

"take it slow", "care", "man-up"...What the hell is this Dr Phil sh!t doing here?

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Create Reality
Do NOT play Captain SAVE A HOE! And do NOT ask her if her father molests her.

Just do what BackBreaker said, and run. :woo:

i've had 2.. I guess you can call them relationships with girls with "daddy issues"... since then I screen them all out

Thoose two women are two of the most ****ed up in the head women I know.

My old oneitis.. hot as can freakin be... there isn't a guy on this forum that wouldn't rate her at LEAST an 8, and that's considering everyone has different tastes..

lowest self esteem I have ever seen.. she doesn't think she's very pretty.. she only dates guys she can control, she's literarly afraid that a man of any value won't like her... and truth be told, besides being "hot" and not a bimbo, she really doesn' tbring much to the table, but still

She plays like she knows she is hot, because guys tell her she's hot all the time... but she doesn't think she's very hot.. if that makes any sense.

She thinks she has too much "baggage" for any normal man, so she likes guys who "arent' as attractive" that will "stick around"... straight from the horses mouth!


The other girl isn't as bad, but had it much worse growing up.. she was a foster child, her and like 8 Brothers and sisters, she knew her mom but she was a crackhead, was raised by 3 different families, ran away when she was 16, got knocked up when she was 16, married to the guy that knocked her up at 18 for finanical reasons...

Believe it or not, sh ewasn't as ****ed up as my old onieits.... I mean, it's all realative.. she was ****ed up, but not to her level.

the only real gripe I have about this one is she can't have a normal realationship with a man.. she likes the attention a man gives her, she will do anything to get it, but once it's got, she moves on..

But then again, that can be said about alot of women, which leads me to say she really isn't all that ****e dup and in all honestly, i could have handled her a hell of a lot better than I did... her and i are still cool to this day

But she is an extremely heavy drinker.. I don't know very many GUYS thank can drink more than me when I feel like drinking, let alone 105lb women.

she smokes 2-3 packs of cigerettes a day

I mean, she is great in the sack, but I feel bad for the guy she eventually settles down with..

 

[backbreaker]

the point is not that you shouldn't care.. I mean, I'm human.. I don't want anyone I know to be getting abused...

but the difference between an AFC and a man is understanding that people have to solve their own problems.. if they reach out for help, I have no problem at all..

but I'm not going to sit around and be your "comforter" just so you can throw a pitty party all night long, I have my own damn issues

If you can, you want to try to stay away from these people if at all people, because as stated in the 48 laws of power, you want to avoid the unfortante and the unlucky, you think you are helping them but you are really planting the seeds for your own demise

 

[T Money]

"take it slow", "care", "man-up"...What the hell is this Dr Phil sh!t doing here?

Well, this IS an online forum right?

People post their opinions right?

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I sure as hell have an opinion.

And you actually didn't have anything related to the topic at hand so next time gather your thoughts before you post.

That was no way helpful to BrandoCommando.

My topic was.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by backbreaker
My old oneitis.. hot as can freakin be... there isn't a guy on this forum that wouldn't rate her at LEAST an 8, and that's considering everyone has different tastes..

She plays like she knows she is hot, because guys tell her she's hot all the time... but she doesn't think she's very hot...

She thinks she has too much "baggage" for any normal man, so she likes guys who "arent' as attractive" that will "stick around"... straight from the horses mouth!

so she likes guys who "arent' as attractive" that will "stick around"...

her and i are still cool to this day

But she is an extremely heavy drinker.. I don't know very many GUYS thank can drink more than me when I feel like drinking, let alone 105lb women.

I left out the negative stuff. Well the not as bad as my ex-oneitis is good and bad at the same time, still leveled off as being negative though.

This describes about 95% of the women I have EVER been with. The HB8 accordingly is relative, I measure not only looks. Kinda like shallow hal.

They all played like they were hot, guys here play with the assumption that every girl is fvckable, the fact that a girl has problems is commonplace, most guys have problems too. So nearly every girl once she's in the have to keep a man phase, the problems start to show, but never in the attraction phase, where they let their best shine.

"any normal man" is too scared to stick around. All they want is fun, so she likes guys who "arent' as attractive" that will "stick around"... So guess what...

her and i are still cool to this day

One thing that really impresses me, and I use to my advantage(don't think like that, I am a nice guy)...

she is an extremely heavy drinker.. I don't know very many GUYS thank can drink more than me when I feel like drinking, let alone 105lb women.

Thanks BB, I needed somebody who could help me semi describe my casual sex life.

 

[Warlord]

Usually when you notice the girl has daddy issues, you're not her knight in shining armor, any male she dates will be representative of the male species which equate to her father abusing/neglecting her in whatever manner.

NOW.

Unless she was emotionally mature and took responsibility of her life at a certain point, then thats fine (usually by the age of 25) but if she doesn't appear to be and has some control issues, RUN dude.. it's not worth it. I've dated 2 women and know several women like this.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Warlord
Usually when you notice the girl has daddy issues, you're not her knight in shining armor, any male she dates will be representative of the male species which equate to her father abusing/neglecting her in whatever manner.

NOW.

Unless she was emotionally mature and took responsibility of her life at a certain point, then thats fine (usually by the age of 25) but if she doesn't appear to be and has some control issues, RUN dude.. it's not worth it. I've dated 2 women and know several women like this.

'

exactly what I was trying to say... there is alot of other **** I could have posted.. like I said.. women aren't men, women are irrational and emotional, but there is a difference between being emotional and CRAZY

 

[djbr]

backbreaker = sound advice

daddy issues = run.

Did I say run? No no, RUN LIKE A MANIAC!!.

This shyt is so DAMAGING you have no idea where you're putting your lil' fingers on. Trust me. I lived a great amount of time in hell agony cause I got screwed by a woman like this.

1) they're mostly beautiful
2) they love attention

1+2=****ed. Heh, you get all hooked up on her beauty. You get the attention cause she loves your attention. Yeah, all goes smooth. Get goin'... LTR! Yeah. The sex is friggin' AWESOME and your d1ck hurts everytime you come home at night. Rough sex at its finest. Great. Man that part rocks.

But slowly you start to get depressed. Starts light, then it becomes bigger, and bigger, and BIGGER... the way she never seems to have a grip on their own problems... it's always somebody fault (yours?). When it all falls apart (on your head usually), the girl just dumps you and take other sucker who she has been entertaining besides your back for quite some time.

 

[backbreaker]

I just got back from a quasi-date with this girl I met at a bar about a week ago... very very nice looking, typical all american brunette, date was going just fine, kinkoing, I could tell she was into me..

then she gave me about 2 red flags... first she told me she dated at least 30 guys.. and she is just 19 (I didn't even try to do the math, but I will side with the 30 guys instead of you)

and she said she ran away from home when she was 15 becuause her dad beat the living **** out of her and how her mom didn't want her staying with her..

so I found a reason to go home, which took a while... and it's sad becuase I wouldn't mind tapping that, but at the same time, that's a red flag if there ever was one

 

[Page]

Wow, backbreaker, you dodged a bullet with that one.

I can relate.

 

[BrandoCommando]

I would disribe her as:

beautiful likes guys attention, even thought she loved me, but when I tried to do anything w/ her she leaves me alone and flirts heavey w/ other guys, even drew them a picture w/ her name for them and I have never ever seen her do this, and this was two days after I asked her to prom (my interest) and the next day she wrote me a email. Ill give it to you guys for the hell of it. Shes lazy as ****, doesnt want a job, a bf, to go to prom, doesnt want anyones help, just accepts life, if something goes wrong, shes like o well its life what can i do. Ive asked her whats wrong she normally just stay quite and if a press it enough she says nothing and if I say I know something is she gets up and leaves. I get better results talking to her over the phone or on the internet.


Heres the Email:

i wanted to tell you this. im sorry if i led you on in any way, i didnt mean to, i was just being nice. you wanted to be friends right? i do just want to be friends. i dont want a guy and sure dont need one. til the right one comes along .so please dont pressure me into going out with you, it will just make me mad. about prom, it was really sweet of you to ask me and give me flowers but i just have no desire to go at all. if i was going to go, i would go with you, honestly. things arent going too well for me with different things and i dont want this on top of it all. ive been so stressed out as it is. ill say this again, you deserve someone who returns your feelings. i just cant, and im so sorry for that. ive tried. thanks for the stuff in my car, it was sweet. i had no idea who it was til i read the thing attached to the bear. but anyway, i guess ill talk to you later


I really though she was into me, she even told me she had a dream of us making out on her bed (was told this like 2 days before.) maybe she wouldnt go out with me b/c she thinks I want sex?? She is religionist and thinks sex should be after marriage.

Im not for sure but shes either:

getting molested
lesbian
or she had sex w/ this playa, a while back she was into him, now shes kind of lost, and is the above. she really was a cool person to be around, but I know something has changed w/ her over the past 6 months

 

[penkitten]

perhaps her strick parents just wont let her go and she doesnt want to get made fun of so she tells a white lie and says she doesnt want to go and she doesnt want a bf and blah blah.
ever think of that one?

 

[BrandoCommando]

Yea, but its all to weird. Shes had a bf (kind of) he was a playa (as said above right before all this weird stuff too). and a week ago, I was listening in on a convo w/ her and another girl and she was sounded little worried and jokingly was something like I'll probably get asked to prom in the last week. sounds like she going then, but then she went like blue, maybe its me? ...thinks I want sex?

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by BrandoCommando
Yea, but its all to weird. Shes had a bf (kind of) he was a playa (as said above right before all this weird stuff too). and a week ago, I was listening in on a convo w/ her and another girl and she was sounded little worried and jokingly was something like I'll probably get asked to prom in the last week. sounds like she going then, but then she went like blue, maybe its me? ...thinks I want sex?

maybe she started her peiod?
who knows?
im just thinking her dad probally is not molesting her is all.