False egos, status anxiety, and the pitfalls of our generation: A RANT

[MrJibbles]

"If a man knows how to handle children, he knows how to handle women, for women are most assuredly children. They are emotionally arrested in childhood, and their infuences (the media) keep them there in the land of unicorns and imagined privilege (the "princess" syndrome).

No matter how sophisticated the woman appears, she is a child inside, and that childness can be elicited out of her. Her sophistication is a facade, a mirage. It is a mask, just like the mask of putty and paint she wears on her face to make the world believe she actually looks like that."

Props to AtomSmasher for this quote (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=192937); he hit the nail on the head.

As a member of the internet generation, I am deeply, saddened and frustrated at the state of The Game today. Back in the days of feudal and agricultural society, people accepted their given social roles from birth. Today, however, we are unmercifully bombarded with messages and images from the media, convincing us to believe not only that ANYONE can be rich, famous, and beautiful, but that we MUST aspire to such values to gain respect and validation. Having a Honda Civic and a decently-furnished 2-room apartment is not enough. We will only be happy once we get that Ferrari and playboy-style, superfly, condo penthouse suite. We feel we have to "keep up with the Jones".

In Fight Club, Tyler Durden said "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

I think this applies to many of the "players" on this site. Once we become "unplugged for the matrix", settling for a nice, average looking girl who would make for great LTR-material is not enough. The idea becomes too "AFC" for us.

We MUST bang every hot girl out there. If stripper, Jessica Alba-lookalike, and Ms. October are not on our "resumes", we get depressed and feel that we're not "alpha enough"yet. Eventually HB-8 is not good enough; we get bored and feel that we must get a SHB-9 or SHB-10 to be happy. Refer to this thread "We're too replacable as men" (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=192757) to get a better idea of what I'm talking about.

Referring back to the original quote, this is even worse for women. With the advent of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, every average to above-average-looking girl wants to be the next super-starlet in Hollywood. Being pretty is not enough; they feel they must not only be beautiful, but famous as well. Instead of "keeping up with the Jones", girls start to play "keeping up with the Kardashians".

Every single 'like' and 'compliment' she gets from her girlfriends and beta males on facebook is another stroke to her chronically-hyper inflated ego and false sense of entitlement. One "friend" I have on facebook is so "popular", that she provided a link to ANOTHER facebook page because she exceeded her limit for "friends". "Friends" turn into "admirers" and, if she eventually transforms into an ice queen, "admirers" magically become, at least in her fictional world, "fans". If a pretty girl with say, 500 facebook friends posts an attention-wh**ing pic of herself, she will get anywhere from 20-50 likes within the next hour.

The same applies for online dating. What a waste of time for a male. Women have everything to gain from this, and men have, more or less, a lot to lose. If you're not the 6-foot tall, Brad Pitt-lookalike, hedge-fund trustee sugar daddy, you'll get nothing. I tried messaging 50 girls on POF and OKCupid, and got maybe 1 or 2 replies back, none of which escalated into anything worth mentioning.

I did an experiment once, where I made a fake profile and put up a picture of a hot pornstar dressed respectably, with jeans and an innocent wool sweater. All my profile said was that I had recently moved into town and provided my height and eye colour. Nothing about my personality. I checked my inbox a few days later and had literally hundreds of messages from drooling suitors, ranging from pvssified betas to douchebag alphas spitting variations of neg theory.

If you're going to date a girl, don't add her on facebook. Before she even gets to know you, she'll have already looked through all your photos and judged and assessed your popularity, status, and lifestyle. "This guy only has 150 friends and mostly pictures of him with a couple buddies and his parents: NEXT. Oh wait a minute, this guy over here has a 1000 friends and tons of pictures of him partying and with beautiful women: *drools*."
If you add a girl on facebook, be prepared for her to judge you on social proof and your taste in hobbies and music, and let any sense of "mystery" dissipate instantly.

The beast is uncontrollable. Pretty girls will turn you down because, in their mind, they have been validated so much online, that they GENUINELY believe they deserve THE hottest, most popular, and richest guy out there. The concept of the "nice girl" no longer exists, because Cosmopolitan magazine, Maybelene commercials, and the fictional character they create in online profiles have pressured them into becoming full-blown, conceited b*tches with absolutely no sense of reality whatsoever.

F*** society, f*** "the man", rage against the machine, fight the power, and peace in the middle East. I'm out.

Thoughts?

 

[TonyBaloney]

I think your are so right on all of this, I can only congratulate you for your remarkably astute observations.

I remember when the net came out, I looked forward to hooking up with genuine like minded folk, who were, like me, just bored of their life, wanting to meet someone new.

Instead, its turned into the beast you described. I think that all of these recent inventions dont actually improve quality of life for people, just decrease it. Its the same with the pill. Meant to be a help, but its turned alot of women into career obsessed, selfish, narcissistic charlatans, who think they can foook guys over for ever - but with all of these new inventions, the one thing that us guys are endowed with, and something we should never ever forget, we have Old Father Time on our side. Ok I grant you its frustrating if your in enforced batchelordom, but in time, resources are gained, wisdom is accrued, and these stupid little girls see the worst side of human nature, and come begging to the mature, steadfast man - thats when you become a man, and never ever let those cxxxts have the upper hand with you

 

[the third eye]

how does this post help me get laid? it looks true but id rather deny that this information exists if it doesnt help me toward my goal.
^^^ how most people would feel about that here^^^

i personally completely agree, but all it does is reaffirm the prevelant bitterness toward women most people have here, including myself

 

[bigneil]

"If you're going to date a girl, don't add her on facebook. Before she even gets to know you, she'll have already looked through all your photos and judged and assessed your popularity, status, and lifestyle. "This guy only has 150 friends and mostly pictures of him with a couple buddies and his parents: NEXT. Oh wait a minute, this guy over here has a 1000 friends and tons of pictures of him partying and with beautiful women: *drools*."
If you add a girl on facebook, be prepared for her to judge you on social proof and your taste in hobbies and music, and let any sense of "mystery" dissipate instantly.

This is absolutely true. My line is "Lets NOT be Facebook friends!"

 

[Packers2010]

it's a good post. the only problem i have with it is this. the REASON guys in the pick up community ditch the LTR for the hot girls is because they could get them before.

think about it. if you keep evolving to where you can get a 7 then you can get a 9 are you really going to go back to the 7? probably not.


when you said
girls start to play "keeping up with the Kardashians".

i got chills down my spine and it's sad but true.

 

[ezio]

Wow for someone who wanted to bang his cousin, you're very insightful lol.. everything you posted is true but wth. we can't change the state of things, we can only accept it and try to make the best out of a bad situation. IT IS WHAT IT IS

 

[MM92]

Wow for someone who wanted to bang his cousin, you're very insightful lol.. everything you posted is true but wth. we can't change the state of things, we can only accept it and try to make the best out of a bad situation. IT IS WHAT IT IS

Great opening post and very true. It annoys me but what can you do?

 

[MisterD]

Great thread and one I was debating making at some point but never got around to it. I completely agree with everything.

My thread was going to ask how the more experienced men here deal with what I refer to as "***** Inflation".

Let's be honest--the price of ***** right now is sky high, when you consider that thanks to technology, girls that are low-quality either act like they have options, because of their inflated egos, or actually DO have options because low self esteem guys are settling for them.

Can't tell you the amount of times I've seen a girl who is well below my standards on a dating site, list in great detail all the physical qualities she demands in a man, among other things. These girls are pricing themselves out of the market. Let's say the girl is a 6. Maybe the guy is a 6 himself, or a 7, and is interested in her. The girl turns him down because she's holding out for a 10. All of these girls are holding out for 10s now it seems. So us men have to continue improving ourselves while these low quality women do little to nothing to improve themselves. Someone in another thread a while ago said we as men are working harder and harder for women that are becoming less worth it. I couldn't agree more.

From the time they wake up till the time they go to sleep, someone (usually multiple people) are right there to compliment them and give them attention. Whether in real world interaction, text messaging, or social networking. She is constantly plugged into this world where she is the center of the universe.

When she logs into facebook and sees her friends list--she really does believe that many people are her friends. She starts to think she's a socialite, and as a socialite, she deserves only the best in life. Nothing else is good enough for her.

My problem is I feel like I'm going against the grain, and maybe in the past that would have worked, and made me seem different than the rest. But it doesn't work now. Sometimes I'll refuse to play games with a girl, maybe go no contact or something, and that used to change her frame and hit the reset button on our relationship. But now it doesn't work. If I go no contact or do something else that shows I won't feed her ego and be a ***** beggar, another man is right there to do it. And she'll forget I even exist because another dude has come in to worship her.

I feel like this generation of men have become a bunch of ***** beggars. And it really does ruin it for those of us trying to maintain our manhood and self respect. Guys that comment on facebook pictures and statuses with the hopes of getting laid. Guys texting a girl 24/7 telling her how beautiful she is. They don't realize it's just creating a bigger monster.

I'm not sure how to stop it. I deleted my facebook a few years back, and that's helped me keep some semblance of mystery. But that's not enough.

There has to be a fundamental change where men as a generation turn the tide and refuse to feed the ego of the modern woman. I really don't know how to do it. I'm really doing my best to be a confident, masculine man who refuses to ego feed or ***** beg, but what good is it if it goes unnoticed because there are so many other men out there that do?

 

[yuppaz]

You don't get caught up or bothered by it, you do your own thing and improve your own value to yourself (in your own eyes) and make sure the girl knows that you value yourself. Trust me, even if she gets a ton of attention of face crack if she feels you are a valuable dude and you don't play along with those chump rules she will still drool over you. I know girls with 10,000,000 friends on face crack always sucking up to her, and she gets an ego about it, but in real life they are putty in my hands PRECISELY because I know my own value and I screen her ass to make sure she is good enough for me...which incidentally makes her try hard to be good enough for me, which makes her want me.

The most important thing is how much you accept and respect yourself and allow that to show in your interactions with other people, all that validation actually helps you out if your the one guy not making it that easy on her.


Keep in mind, no reason to hate on the chick because she's getting it. They are usually just friendly and accept requests here and there and get a lot of attention even when they aren't looking for it no reason to hate them for getting that.

 

[MisterD]

You don't get caught up or bothered by it, you do your own thing and improve your own value to yourself (in your own eyes) and make sure the girl knows that you value yourself. Trust me, even if she gets a ton of attention of face crack if she feels you are a valuable dude and you don't play along with those chump rules she will still drool over you. I know girls with 10,000,000 friends on face crack always sucking up to her, and she gets an ego about it, but in real life they are putty in my hands PRECISELY because I know my own value and I screen her ass to make sure she is good enough for me...which incidentally makes her try hard to be good enough for me, which makes her want me.

The most important thing is how much you accept and respect yourself and allow that to show in your interactions with other people, all that validation actually helps you out if your the one guy not making it that easy on her.

Agreed. It's just been hard to get that point across to her. At least for me personally.

Keep in mind, no reason to hate on the chick because she's getting it. They are usually just friendly and accept requests here and there and get a lot of attention even when they aren't looking for it no reason to hate them for getting that.

I don't hate them for getting it. I hate what it does to them. For example--I'm an amateur photographer. A couple of weeks ago, since I have an iphone, I decided to join instagram for kicks. A social networking app where you post pics and people like, comment, follow, etc. Now, I gain about 15-20 followers a day, it's incredible for me personally. People of all different backgrounds and walks of life following me and commenting my pictures telling me how good I am. I gain a hundred followers or more a week, for every week I've been on it. And the more follows and comments I get, the more humbled I get. I don't feel my work is better than anyone else's, and I still feel I'm the same skill level I was before I joined. It's been nice to see so many people appreciate my work, but it hasn't improved my actual work. At the end of the day, I'm still a budding photog with lots to learn.

However, with these women (not all, but a lot), when they get all these followers on twitter, or friends on facebook, they use it to feed their egos. They'll upload a provocative photo of themselves and then caption it with something like "ugh! i look so ugly in this dress!" which signals the alarm for all the afc white knight ***** beggars to come out in full support and leave comment after embarrassing comment (to which she doesn't respond of course). Or she'll post a meaningless status update and get 100 likes within the hour. They love that attention. Before they had to dress up and go out to get this kind of attention, now they have it sent to them on their phones or computers. It's like a drug for most of them, and I hate that. They start believing they really are a perfect 10 and as such, start having higher demands when it comes to choosing a mate, even though they are not the perfect 10's they think they are.

So, two parties are to blame, in my opinion. The women for letting the attention inflate their egos, and the people who actually do inflate their egos. They're creating a monster and don't realize it

 

[MisterD]

double post. sorry

 

[Trump]

You are getting upset at what the Market places value on.

You are getting upset that the Market isn't recognizing and paying top dollar for your average product.

You are getting upset that the Market has manipulated people and their way of thinking.

A girl who chooses a guy who has a 3 bedroom and bmw rather than a guy who has a 2 bedroom and honda civic is the same reason why you choose Coke over a no name soda, the name coke has more value to you.

Rather than venting about what the Market values, increase your own value and let the Market see how great you are.

 

[MisterD]

You are getting upset at what the Market places value on.

You are getting upset that the Market isn't recognizing and paying top dollar for your average product.

You are getting upset that the Market has manipulated people and their way of thinking.

A girl who chooses a guy who has a 3 bedroom and bmw rather than a guy who has a 2 bedroom and honda civic is the same reason why you choose Coke over a no name soda, the name coke has more value to you.

Rather than venting about what the Market values, increase your own value and let the Market see how great you are.

I don't disagree with any of this, I assume this was directed at the OP but I'll just answer with this--and maybe we're kind of getting off the main point of the first post but, my problem personally is not that you need high value to get high value. That's understandable. You gotta come equipped with game in order to get the top prospects. My problem is with inflation. Girls in the 7-8 range that are getting all this newfound attention thanks to technology and expect to get the same dates as a girl who's a 9 or 10 gets.

I'm not gonna improve myself, and increase my value and settle for a 7 or an 8. But that's what these girls are doing. Because of the ego feeding, these lower quality girls are demanding higher quality men. I have no problem increasing value and being at the top of my game to land a 9 or 10. But im gonna jump through the same hoops for a girl who's lower quality? No

I know a handful of single girls that complain about not finding a quality guy, but since I know them personally, I know it's because they priced themselves out of the market. You can't be a 7 and be upset Brad Pitt hasn't come by in his lambo to take you to wine country. But that's what they're holding out for. Turning down guys in their range to get a 10

 

[sstype]

Good post OP....honestly though, i'm past the whole rant phase and am just indifferent now towards modern dating. I'm just going to focus towards making a ton of money and getting the occasional higher end escort when I'm really horny. Maybe the occasional ONS/fling at a bar/club on Saturday night if I get lucky.

Though not a huge number, I've been successful in pulling LTRs, flings, ONSs, and club makeouts in the past. The amount of effort and rejections I had to endure to get those experiences were worth it back then when I was young, had little money, and plenty of time to practice. I also wanted to assure myself that I was at least CAPABLE of getting into a relationship, and in that regard I succeeded. Now, I'd rather spend my precious time and effort towards other more productive endeavors.

I'm not opposed to meeting women.....I'm just tired of dealing with the piss poor attitudes or the feeling that I owe them a wedding ring if they give me their "gift of sex." I just have little patience for that b.s. and drudgery wading through a bunch of miserable insecure women to find one cool, attractive girl to casually hook up with.

For example, as I was walking around the gym I would catch women checking me out, as soon I caught them they quickly averted their eyes. I couldn't help but grimace at the sheer childishness and immaturity that these GROWN adult women were exhibiting. It was just bemusing watching them try and act like shy 5-year olds when another set of eyes met theirs. And these are the so-called "strong independent women"

 

[Poonani Maker]

Regarding the low-value b!tches who are livin in a dreamland thinking they're entitled as much as the genetically superior endowed ones are, they will either Learn or go on thinking irrationally about their fat selves, all the while getting USED by Any guy who she eventually lets sugar her cookies. Value is eventually achieved, in the end, and lives get destroyed, hours, days and years Wasted on/by these b!tches. They lose in the end. Only the unattainable guy fvckin em and leavin em is winning.

 

[ezio]

Great thread and one I was debating making at some point but never got around to it. I completely agree with everything.

My thread was going to ask how the more experienced men here deal with what I refer to as "***** Inflation".

Let's be honest--the price of ***** right now is sky high, when you consider that thanks to technology, girls that are low-quality either act like they have options, because of their inflated egos, or actually DO have options because low self esteem guys are settling for them.

Can't tell you the amount of times I've seen a girl who is well below my standards on a dating site, list in great detail all the physical qualities she demands in a man, among other things. These girls are pricing themselves out of the market. Let's say the girl is a 6. Maybe the guy is a 6 himself, or a 7, and is interested in her. The girl turns him down because she's holding out for a 10. All of these girls are holding out for 10s now it seems. So us men have to continue improving ourselves while these low quality women do little to nothing to improve themselves.

B!TCH INFLATION..lol Mister D just coined an awesome term to accurately describe this phenomena. Lmao i think ***** inflation deserves an entry on urbandictionary.com

 

[nightcrawler]

cry more please

 

[Who Dares Win]

Facts are two:

1)It's not that we complain that what we offer is not valued enough so we have to work harder, the problem is that girls get what they want even before leaving home checking their facebook page.
10 likes and compliments to her picture are more satisfying than a guy going down on her.

2)The problem start with afcs who realize they cant compete the clean way against other men so they "use a trick" , this trick is faking niceness by making compliments, pretend to be morally superior to the other men with the sole effect of losing the girl and making it hard for the guys after them.
Media simply increase this effect of b1tch inflation as said before.

So to all the afcs lurking this board, if she asks if shes fat and she is you only have to reply "hell yeah whale".

 

[PapiChulo]

Solid critical account.

 

[LostAndConfused]

I'm so glad people understand the frustrations I have toward the dating market circa 2012.

The genuine problem? Stems from hypergamy but to simplify matters, similar to what Chris Rock said when he vented the issues AA's face, for women the sky is the limit but for men, the limit's the sky


Think about that for a second.


We as men, as we've learned from SS, from our parents, from role models, etc., have been told to keep building our skills, keep bettering ourselves.

Concrete example?: hit the gym 3 times a week for several weeks. See the rise in attention you get.

Women, on the other hand, are told to expect the best, and only the best.

Be on the lookout for your Jude Law prince charming. Let's be real...that's all they're expected to do.

This sh1t all makes sense on an evolutionary perspective, with women being the de facto selectors and men being the selected; but doesn't this become absurd at some point?

Aren't we fvcking homo sapiens sapiens? Don't we have some level of metacognition (a level I'm ONLY seeing within the game community, btw), to recognize the inherent problem in all of this?

Avg woman goes to a bar and get exposed to all of these men aspiring to be Jude Law prince charmings.... What does she see?

She sees:

*One guy here is a club promoter and he defines how night life goes in the city. He's in ALL of the facebook pictures. Totally.

*Another guy is an on the rise investment banker, slaving away 80 hours a week to be a millionaire within a decade.

*Yet another guy is a reputable game blogger who knows JUST how hit all of those sweet spots.....

*And o wait, this Lost&Confused guy is extremely hot, and is really ambitious and plans on taking over the world, n stuff. He also knows how to make my gina tingle too.

The real question is, "which guy do I go home to?" Some girls opt for EVERY one, others don't know what to do. And these guys are sleeping with every girl too. Birth Control / contraceptives have kept us sexually active.

Trust me. You go to Anytown, America with an established alpha credo and girls really don't know what to do. They're putty in your hands.

Dating has become absolutely pointless in this day and age. These girls will do anything. And it's not as great as it seems, because they'll do ANYTHING to everybody.

You older folk in the community keep giving us the solid advice to build up our status, but at this point most people's statuses are incomparable. The only separating factor is game and game itself.

Circa 2012, we as men can be alpha in infinitely many fields. Be it CoD #1 pro sponsored-gamer or the nation's top quarterback or even an up-and-coming local DJ at a club, women recognize this status and they put out to all of those types. We can even be alpha male in an online/virtual community (Think about THAT)

So what happens when women are exposed to the best of ALL worlds?

Well, you hit it right on the head with "keeping up with the Joneses" turning into "keeping up with the Kardashians"

Can't tell you the amount of times I've seen a girl who is well below my standards on a dating site, list in great detail all the physical qualities she demands in a man, among other things. These girls are pricing themselves out of the market. Let's say the girl is a 6. Maybe the guy is a 6 himself, or a 7, and is interested in her. The girl turns him down because she's holding out for a 10. All of these girls are holding out for 10s now it seems.

THIS is what happens. They all expect the 1%, when they themselves are the 99%, proverbially speaking.

Our cosmopolitan culture is great in many ways, but it also allows women to "sample" alpha from any stroke of life. It raises their expectations too high, IMHO.

So us men have to continue improving ourselves while these low quality women do little to nothing to improve themselves. Someone in another thread a while ago said we as men are working harder and harder for women that are becoming less worth it. I couldn't agree more.

Doesn't it seem that way?

THATS my biggest problem right now. When I take a composite look at all of my best friends, male and female, its easy to see. All of them are attractive in some way or another, but its the males who are constantly working on themselves while the females sort of waste away.

My hypothesis is this.....men have ALWAYS been the value-adding gender while women have ALWAYS been the value-deprecating gender. (Cue Economists who understand this in terms of the laws of capital).

Now that modern medicine has allowed this value-adding and value-deprecating to extend almost INDEFINITELY... (human longevity has increased FOURFOLD since sexual selection actually meant a great deal)

....our "selectors" (that is, females) have grown quite useless. They're told at a young age to sit back and reap the benefits of masculinity while young boys are thrown kicking and screaming into the murk and made to find their own way. Oh, we find our own way, but in a society that's "trimming the fat" so to speak (think: Recession), there is alot of fat within the feminine.

Helen of Troy was the face that launched a thousand ships. Multiply that face by (100s of) thousands of other hot girls with an extra-extended lifespan. That's alot of value lost.

Think about the proverbial "beta" male as seen by the GAME/Red-pill community. Sure he got cuckolded by a wife still trying to ride the Carousel, but he's STILL VALUE-ADDING. He's still contributing to his field while the divorcee is VALUE-DEPRECATING, wasting away on the alimony payments and excursions with her alpha lover.

Now place that in consideration with greater society. And more importantly, know that greater society is PAYING to SUSTAIN such behavior. Lower GDP from social support = Bad times.

Hypergamy is a woman's TRADING UP. Modern man has outsmarted hypergamy. Girls aren't TRADING UP anymore, they're TRADING SIDEWAYS. But the fact that they're trading nonetheless hurts men. Hurts them real bad.

And I think men dropping out is a dark echo to this fact.