Explain this Sh!t

[Clint Eastwood]

Explain this to me. If no one can, then I'm leaving this forum.. permanently!

My room-mate is a total AFC in many respects according to this site. But he keeps getting in LTRs with beautiful women. In one respect, he is a Don Juan. He dated two women for about six months, although neither of them knew about the other. He also has had several one nighters, and short-term sex only relationships in the past couple of years. He is arrogant, and does tease women. But he teases them about weird sh!t and he's often really annoying about it. (IMO)

SO, what's the catch? He's short. Average-looking, and a bit out of shape. He tells me that I'm too nice to women, yet he insists that buying them nice things and giving them constant compliments, like he does, is not being too nice. He says this in an arrogant, pompous way that just makes me want to bash his f*cking head in. He bought one of his girls a $500 dollar piece of jewellry and some other things for Christmas. He's always buying her things. (I know, I know, that's part of the reason she may be with him) But is it, really?
He calls her every day. She also calls him. They see each other at least every other day. Yet, they always have sex when they get together, so her Interest Level can't be that low. Yet, when he goes out without her, he hooks up with other girls at clubs. He usually ends up at least making out with them.
And , here's the real kicker! I overhear some of their phone conversations. He often says, "well, I don't know. What do you want to do?" or "I don't care, you decide." or " I don't know, I hadn't planned on anything. We'll decide when you get here." Haven't plenty of women on this forum said that when a guy acts like this, it's a sure kiss of death. It makes me sick. This girl he's dating is taller than him. Like 6' tall. Looks like a model. She did just recently go through a divorce. But, come on! How do you explain his success?

Me, on the other hand. In the past two years, I've had about three one-nighters, and two relationships. One short-term and one long-term. (the LRT was with a girl who was way below my standards) I've had Doc Love and David D'Angelo's stuff for about a year. As well as about every other book mentioned one here. I've been reading this forum for awhile, though I haven't posted much. I try to follow all of the advice that seems good.
I'm tall, (6'2") well built (like a model from the cover of Men's Fitness). And I'm probably at least a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10. ( Recently, I've had a lot of people tell me I should be a model or movie star.) I'm smart and funny. I have a lot of hobbies, and I always, always have a plan when I go out with a girl. Sometimes, later in a relationship, I'll ask her if there's something she wants to do. But, my roomie seems to do this all of the time.
In all fairness, though... I'm very inexperienced with women. I didn't always look like this. In the past, I was very shy and insecure. As a result, I don't approach women as much as I should. So, I've often settled for less than what I could get. But, I'm slowly coming around. I'm beginning to approach more.

However, it's not me we're talking about. It's my roommates unexplainable success with women. How does he go against nearly everything on this forum, and still have so much success with women??? And, dare I even mention that when he goes out now, women will come up to him and try to hook up with him. Unless, someone can explain how a guy like that has so much success with women, I'm going to assume that he's right and everyone on this forum is wrong. IN which case, I'm leaving this forum and following his crappy advice.

 

[tweeder]

Sounds to me like your roomate isn't an AFC. Sure some of the things he does sounds AFC, but when combined with the other things he's doing, I'd say he's anything but. Any guy that goes to a club with his woman and then hooks up with other women in front of her. That's no chump my friend. He knows exactly what he's doing. I've done it before too, but only not to that extreme. Let a girl catch you showin interest in other women, and then all of a sudden they want your nuts that much more.

And he's teasing them too. the things he's saying might sound stupid to you, but who knows what the girls are thinking. I say thigs to good looking women all the time, and after she's gone my friends will say, "Are you crazy? She probably thought you were retarded." However that's not what they say when I bring her home a week later.

The buying gifts thing is AFC in my opinion, but it will get you chicks. I know plenty of girls that will give it up for a guy that will buy them expensive crap. The AFC thing behind giving gifts is that you are giving off a vibe that you think you need to buy her love and attention and that she's the important one in the relationship. So although a girl might think that about your roomate, those thoughts quickly dissapear when he's hooking up with other women right in front of her.

Also, from what I'm reading it seems like he's a pretty confident guy too. And it's okay to let a girl decide what to do sometimes, but you just don't want to seem like a spineless wuss. Sometimes when I tell a girl I don't care what we do, she thinks I just don't want to do anything with her. Then she starts thinking I"m losing interest. So then she tries that much harder to "earn my love."

Now as for you I dont' know why you lack success. If you really are a 9, then you probalby don't have much luck unless you're the one doing all the approaching. Girls are a lot like guys in that they get intimidated by guys that are VERY attractive. And some are really weird. they only want guys less attractive than they are. That's my two cents anyways.

 

[Starman]

Cli*t Yeastwood,

Yes this is about you not your roomate. You are wondering what he is doing right and what you are doing wrong.

For one..who tries harder? you or him? you cant go by looks alone..you gotta get out there and try..are you the shy type? is he more outspoken?

#2 NEVER believe what people say or do at face value. There is obviously alot your friend is distorting as the truth. My take is .. these women he hooks up see him as some chump who buys them stuff..why else would a girl dating him..put up with him when he is macking on other girls in the same club?

#3 This place has some good advice..mostly about raising your confidence and getting some balls when it comes to women..forget the tips and techniques..the main thing is having self confidence and holding a womans interest..

Possibly your friend is doing something right..if he has his own "fail proof" technique..what's he doing here? What brought him here? what was he looking for?

this is interesting tho..but I dont know your friend well enough to tell you whether you are right..

 

[TesuqueRed]

Explain this to me. If no one can, then I'm leaving this forum.. permanently!
_______________________
Yeah, baby.

Dumb-@ss ultimatums like this will get us all jumping for explanations.

You should leave this forum. Grow up. Then come back.

No more ultimatums.

 

[Phenomenom101]

Hmmmm....well, hes spending $500 dollars on a women for a gift.

cough: golddiggers :cough

My Boss, owner of the company, sometimes has some women that are drop dead gorgeuos. He would meet them at places like club and parties places like that. Anyways, he would do most of the stuff your friend would and IS less attractive than I was. Many of the women that were with him gave it up to him but most were in it cause they liked to be spoiled and that's exactly what he would do.

Hey, if you want to get into one of those relationships like your friend then go ahead. But then you will find yourself without money and your girl on your back all the time for attention. It will be hell.

As for the one nighters. who know how many of those women weren't drunk before they gave it to him. If not many then he must be doing somethin right. I'll be damned if I know though


Just hang in there, don't think about it so much cause then you'll be expecting mistakes and they will happen. Hope this helps

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Tweeder, I agree with a lot of what you said, but to clarify something. He doesn't pick up other women when he's with his girl, he only does it when he goes out by himself.

Starman, I agree with your number 2 and number three. I know there is some great stuff on this forum. I'm not really wondering what my roomie is doing right, he's not doing much. But, you took a cop-out because you can't explain guys like him. Neither can anyone else on this forum, so far. We've all seen guys like this. It could be the money, or the confidence, but he still acts more like a wussy than a man in my opinion. Can't see why women stay with a guy like that. As far as trying hard, like I said, I've been coming around and havin more success. SO, it's not about me. I'm doing much better with women now, but still wondering why they stay with a guy like him.


TusqueRed, I just put the ultimatum up for two reasons.

One- To get attention, and to get people all worked up. Looks like I succeeded in both. (Us Psych majors are pretty clever)

Two- I posted it to see if anyone could come up with some original, and meaningful explanation to this matter. Obviously no one can.

And, as far as anyone leaving this forum is concerned, Don't you think after a thousand posts, you should get a life?

 

[Ronin I]

This has been discussed many times before.

Obviously AFCs get women, too - not that I think your friend is a total AFC though - he does exhibit some DJ traits (confidence, etc)

The DJ techniques are designed to help get you the KIND of woman that is WORTH having - not just ANY woman. This goes way beyond looks alone.

How does he go against nearly everything on this forum, and still have so much success with women???

Again, from the way you describe him, he doesn't go against everything on this forum.

Your roomie definitely seems more experienced than you and experience breeds confidence - and we all know confidence gets b*tches.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by Clint Eastwood
TusqueRed, I just put the ultimatum up for two reasons.

One- To get attention, and to get people all worked up. Looks like I succeeded in both. (Us Psych majors are pretty clever)

Two- I posted it to see if anyone could come up with some original, and meaningful explanation to this matter. Obviously no one can.

And, as far as anyone leaving this forum is concerned, Don't you think after a thousand posts, you should get a life?

Doh!

Look at the date I joined here, 1000 posts just happens. I don't hold a candle to some who are in the multiples of 1000's being here less time than me.

Having been one who has blasted others for posting lame-@ss tag lines, I can't fault you for the attention-getting attempt. But I don't see that. All I hear from it is some immature-for-his-age 20 year old making some whiny ultimatum. That's all I get from it whether or not it conforms to the facts of who you are.

As for getting a life---got one. GF is out of town in another state, I'm glued to this chair in front of a computer trying to get a project out and trying to amuse myself at the same time (don't go into law, the hours aren't worth it...)

You're here at the same time, too. Need a life? (based on your own flame....)

______________
Anyway, flame back if you feel the need. I'm not looking to engage that way since I usually get bored silly of it after the first posts...

Part of your post was interesting in that I am not sure your roommate is an AFC. You were pointing out a number of DJ things that he apparently does well. He probably relies on them.

As for the AFC stuff he does--it may appear so transparent and hokey to you, but for a certain class of girl (those who fall for dumb-@ss techniques) his stuff works.

Again, w/o seeing him in action, I wouldn't know. I have seen women just eat up attention from a guy who I thought was so obvious and so annoying his shyt would never work. But it did. They just enjoyed someone taking the stage (so to speak) and providing entertainment.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Thanks Ronin 1! Now we're getting somewhere. But, we still need more in depth. This may have been discussed on here before, but has anyone ever given a truly good reason why a guy who shows a lot of confidence(according to 90% of the advice on this site) can't keep a half-decent woman. While a guy who does many things that show a lack of confidence (according to 90% of the advice on this site) gets and keeps a really great woman.

Obviously, the guy in question has some experience and confidence. But, he does a lot of un-confident things. I follow most of the advice on this site about confidence and doing the things that show confidence. I have also gained considerable confidence and experience in the past year.

So we need a better more realistic explanation than confidence. That's kind of a cop-out that used way too much on this forum. A guy may do many confident things, but if he's doing a lot of AFC things, too, How does he keep a great woman?

And, with that I won't post anymore on this topic. I've already gotten my answer.

 

[felony]

Not all girls are awesome , there are equivalent girls to AFCs.

So maybe AFC guys and AFC girls can be happy together.

But i reckon as a DJ you don't want no AFC girl.

take it easy,
felony.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

I hate to say it, but sans the expensive presents, and having a reasonable idea where I want to go, every time I go out, and not calling everyday, this guy's a lot like me.

In all fairness to him though, he's probably accustomed to buying gifts for girls when he's in an LTR. In fact, after six months you should know all the appropriate gift-giving occasions and hold to most of them if not all. Such is the nature of an LTR.

One thing that no one seems to have brought up yet. Attitude. You seem to look at this as some scientific study in human behavior which you must master fully to find success. You don't. DJ is a state of mind. Its all about what comes second nature to you. Its living your manhood. Your room-mate is doing that.

You seem to be trying on methodologies as if they were suits. A man could wear a tutu and he is no less a man (though he might be slightly annoyed by the prospect that he's standing around in pink tights and a frilly skirt). You could walk around in a clown suit all day and score with beautiful women. Its all about who you are. You're a man, so act like one. No need to rationalize it. Quit thinking and just do it.

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[blong1068]

Does it really matter that he gets girls with his techniques? Are you jealous? Listen to this: you don't have to use sosuave's "rules" to get girls, but it will increase your chances of landing them. Guys can be complete AFC fags and still get girls, but if you stay true, and be a man, then you'll get more girls, and better girls.

If he's buying chicks $500 watches, then of course he's gonna have hot chicks. ANY guy could have a hot chick doing that bullsh*t, no matter how he looks or acts. Women are AT LEAST as shallow as men. Don't worry about this guy, stick to your game and you'll be fine.

 

[DJ Girevik]

Originally posted by CyranoDeBergerac
I You could walk around in a clown suit all day and score with beautiful women.

Hahahaha, someday I want to go to a mall in a clown suit and try this...

 

[violator]

Have you ever thought to consider that your AFC friend perhaps approaches so many women with such confidence that in spite of many rejections, he still ends up with women, even beautiful ones?

My point is and I believe it to be true that if you approach enough women during a given day or week, you are bound to get some to say yes. Unless you are absolutely hideous, if you appraoch say 10 women a day, you will probably get at least 3 numbers and out of those perhaps 1 date. It all depends on how charming and good looking you are. It is a numbers game and maybe herein lies your problem. You don't have the balls as your friend does to approach women. I bet with all the successes your friend seems to have there are many more rejections he does not tell you about. Yes, he gets the ladies at the clubs, but I suspect that he gets shot down many more times.

I remember reading an article some time ago about an average joe having incredible success with women because he simply was not afraid to approach women wherever he went. Rejections did not phase this guy whatsoever so he ends up banging all these women.

How do you explain guys like your friend? It is because they know how to play the game and the game is primarily a numbers game.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Originally posted by DJ Girevik
Hahahaha, someday I want to go to a mall in a clown suit and try this...

Quite literally I speak from experience. I got three numbers in two hours. Must be the big floppy shoes...hehehe

 

[Santos]

Maybe the women he dates are insecure? The best players no how to spot a woman's insecurities and use those to get the girl crazy for his affection.

Besides, he's not a total AFC. A total AFC wouldn't have the confidence he does. A total AFC wouldn't be picking up a new chick every time he goes to a club. You've picked out that he buys them gifts and that he let's them decide what to do. AFC's do that, but doing it doesn't make you AFC - know what I mean?

He has confidence, that's 90% of what you need to attract women. So what if he does these little things that are "AFC", if he's doing all this other stuff that a DJ does?

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Thanks for all of the great replies guys. I finally found the key to why AFCs or any man for that matter, can succeed with women. Cyrano and Violator, you guys are absolutely right! It all makes sense now. If you are a man, have the right attitude, approach enough women and get enough rejections YOU will succeed. NO matter whether you are a CLOWN (funny Cyrano, roflmao) DJ, or AFC. So, in a way the only advice on this site that really matters is summed up that easily. ****y & Funny, neg-hits, when to call, and everything else on here can add to your success, BUT they mean absolutely nothing unless you're a man with the right attitude who takes action and gets rejected a lot.

 

[Pook]

Thanks for all of the great replies guys. I finally found the key to why AFCs or any man for that matter, can succeed with women. Cyrano and Violator, you guys are absolutely right! It all makes sense now. If you are a man, have the right attitude, approach enough women and get enough rejections YOU will succeed. NO matter whether you are a CLOWN (funny Cyrano, roflmao) DJ, or AFC.

Exactly. If we're going to look for a solution to everything in Nature, we will no longer be actually living.

An AFC in reality will always score more chicks than a DJ in a hyper-reality. (Though, most AFCS start out in hyper-reality and turn into DJs yet still don't see their 'successes'. Why? It's because even though they have DJ mindsets and all, they are still in hyper-reality. You've got to break through.)

 

[HappyHobo]

Eureka!

Indeed, it is the # of attempts you make with women that determine your success.... but in order to to make these attempts with women ... there is one ingredient you need to ingest... and this ingredient is MAN ...... the ingredient man gives the following results when taken properly:

1. You are able to approach women without FEAR ( men's number one nemesis)

2. You are in control and when you are.... you have a grasp of your emotions (which most men are often overwhelmed by) and you can handle the situation no matter what will happen

3. You are honest and will stand up for what you believe.... you have a mind of your own and think independently..... when women ask you things you dont comply right away.... you think for yourself..... you dont make excuses for whatever mistakes occur... you admit to your mistakes and say you wont do it again..
that is the easy part.. but the hard part about it is that you can never do it again... and by keeping this promise to yourself will help you become a better person...

let us all add this ingredient to our beverages and drink it daily...
for we will reach manhood through our habits... and develop that mindset which other nice guys in this world lack.... CHEERS!

 

[htemorp]

sounds like the big penis syndrome. Save up money and enlarge your penis, maybe you can be like your friend.