Ex messaged me 1 month after NC, need opinions

[Raggendecanton]

Hey guys,

So basicly my ex dumped me 1 month ago. Saying we were not compatible anymore, she wants space and needs time. We were in LTR of 2 years with almost no problems. Very supportive, great sex. Just "suddenly" she fell out of love. All good with me, i have been here before. I didnt beg, didnt plead at all. Just said well okay if thats how u feel all good. She said she was not gonna contact me in any form. I said okay all good. Left it at at that and went NC. This is day 25 of NC. Was pretty proud of myself how i handled the situation. Mind you i was with her since she was 19, I was 27 at the time and would consider my self "redpilled".

I have been focussing on my carreer, hobbies, fitness and meeting new people. Even though i felt like utter ****, i realised that i didn't need her and i can get better. So suddenly, she texted me this morning:

"Hi, how are you?"

So here is the deal. I am still very much attached too this girl, and I rather just be in NC, and she knows this. There is no reason for her too contact me, everything has been settled. Actually i dont want her too contact me at all. She is currently on holiday with her mum in Europe.

So my question is, how do i handle this? What is my response, since i dont feel like engaging in her breadcrumbing. Since the breakup she suddenly went active on social media (before she posted 1x per year), I didnt open any of her stories at all, but noticed she is suddenly very active. Any help would be appreciated since my mind is clouded due too attachment. No i dont really want her back, but if she wants too talk, I am willing too listen, just listen that is. I just dont want too get my beta hopes up and get hurt again too be honest.... Any help is appreciated.

 

[Striker_93]

What advice do you need ? Ignore her and move on.

She dumped you, why would you wanna engage with her in any way?

It's over, go meet other women.

 

[Toddz]

She's fishing for your time and attention, validation... She wants to know if you're still around by pinging you and seeing if you're in standby mode eager to shower her with again, time and attention. Don't fall into her trap. She ended it for a reason. That's on her, not your problem.

If you do feel obligated and want to respond, I would just respond with "Hi, I'm good." and that's it. Don't ask her anything back. She'll just validate herself then quickly cut you off again.

She wanted space and time? Reward her with space and time.

Date other women.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hey guys,

So basicly my ex dumped me 1 month ago. Saying we were not compatible anymore, she wants space and needs time. We were in LTR of 2 years with almost no problems. Very supportive, great sex. Just "suddenly" she fell out of love. All good with me, i have been here before. I didnt beg, didnt plead at all. Just said well okay if thats how u feel all good. She said she was not gonna contact me in any form. I said okay all good. Left it at at that and went NC. This is day 25 of NC. Was pretty proud of myself how i handled the situation. Mind you i was with her since she was 19, I was 27 at the time and would consider my self "redpilled".

I have been focussing on my carreer, hobbies, fitness and meeting new people. Even though i felt like utter ****, i realised that i didn't need her and i can get better. So suddenly, she texted me this morning:

"Hi, how are you?"

So here is the deal. I am still very much attached too this girl, and I rather just be in NC, and she knows this. There is no reason for her too contact me, everything has been settled. Actually i dont want her too contact me at all. She is currently on holiday with her mum in Europe.

So my question is, how do i handle this? What is my response, since i dont feel like engaging in her breadcrumbing. Since the breakup she suddenly went active on social media (before she posted 1x per year), I didnt open any of her stories at all, but noticed she is suddenly very active. Any help would be appreciated since my mind is clouded due too attachment. No i dont really want her back, but if she wants too talk, I am willing too listen, just listen that is. I just dont want too get my beta hopes up and get hurt again too be honest.... Any help is appreciated.

Nothing. Do nothing. Block the b!tch and move on. Nothing can come out of this by reconnecting or communicating with her any any way. Block. Block. Block. Find some new pus ASAP and start smashing (with protection). Get to it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Maybe she wants sex. Just never give her exclusivity again. As long as u never give her exclusivity again, I think you will be fine.

 

[Flokitricks]

Very

Hey guys,

So basicly my ex dumped me 1 month ago. Saying we were not compatible anymore, she wants space and needs time. We were in LTR of 2 years with almost no problems. Very supportive, great sex. Just "suddenly" she fell out of love. All good with me, i have been here before. I didnt beg, didnt plead at all. Just said well okay if thats how u feel all good. She said she was not gonna contact me in any form. I said okay all good. Left it at at that and went NC. This is day 25 of NC. Was pretty proud of myself how i handled the situation. Mind you i was with her since she was 19, I was 27 at the time and would consider my self "redpilled".

I have been focussing on my carreer, hobbies, fitness and meeting new people. Even though i felt like utter ****, i realised that i didn't need her and i can get better. So suddenly, she texted me this morning:

"Hi, how are you?"

So here is the deal. I am still very much attached too this girl, and I rather just be in NC, and she knows this. There is no reason for her too contact me, everything has been settled. Actually i dont want her too contact me at all. She is currently on holiday with her mum in Europe.

So my question is, how do i handle this? What is my response, since i dont feel like engaging in her breadcrumbing. Since the breakup she suddenly went active on social media (before she posted 1x per year), I didnt open any of her stories at all, but noticed she is suddenly very active. Any help would be appreciated since my mind is clouded due too attachment. No i dont really want her back, but if she wants too talk, I am willing too listen, just listen that is. I just dont want too get my beta hopes up and get hurt again too be honest.... Any help is appreciated.

This is very similar to what I recently posted. I suggest you keep NC. If you keep sleeping with her it will keep your feelings alive.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Maybe she wants sex. Just never give her exclusivity again. As long as u never give her exclusivity again, I think you will be fine.

It would be except:

I am still very much attached too this girl

 

[EyeBRollin]

Find a new woman OP. Block her.

 

[2Rocky]

Missed the part that you aren't "over her".

Best bet would be to keep her NC until you get one or more better than her and for lack of a more eloquent term, "Use her as a spare...."

 

[Raggendecanton]

Thx guys. I did respond but very short and said that i am not interested in any communication with her. She was just fishing for my time and validation. It is what it is. Appreciate the quick responses though!

 

[2Rocky]

Thx guys. I did respond but very short and said that i am not interested in any communication with her. She was just fishing for my time and validation. It is what it is. Appreciate the quick responses though!

I'm worried you lost the upper hand coming off as butthurt. Continuing NC makes her wonder....

 

[DonJuanjr]

I did respond but very short and said that i am not interested in any communication with her.

Why open communication to then insist on ceasing communication?

 

[MatureDJ]

You had been relegated to her BetaOrbitor list, and as she went through the list, eventually you got the call to be "next man up". Perhaps you had only been demoted to 2nd string, and the 1st string got "injured".

That said, an angry breakup doesn't necessarily have this aspect; although obviously, the fact that whenever a woman does this, that in and of itself is an issue.

 

[DreamAgain]

@Raggendecanton I will tell you exactly what this is, and please for the love of all things holy listen to me and to the advice given here.

Do not respond at any cost. From this point on this person is a random stranger just like anyone else on the street. Let me ask you, if you got a text from a random number asking hi how are you, would you respond? Absolutely not, you would delete the text and if you got a follow up text or call you would simply block the number.

All she is doing is trying to feed her ego to see if you will still give her attention. If you fail this test her respect for you and your respect for yourself will plunge faster than the Russian stock market.

 

[MatureDJ]

@Raggendecanton I will tell you exactly what this is, and please for the love of all things holy listen to me and to the advice given here.

Do not respond at any cost. From this point on this person is a random stranger just like anyone else on the street. Let me ask you, if you got a text from a random number asking hi how are you, would you respond? Absolutely not, you would delete the text and if you got a follow up text or call you would simply block the number.

All she is doing is trying to feed her ego to see if you will still give her attention. If you fail this test her respect for you and your respect for yourself will plunge faster than the Russian stock market.

She's more than a "random stranger".

 

[metalwater]

Sir, are you puzzled about what happened to her. As you tell; all is good and then bam.. she needs space. What problem could she have had that she did not want your help with it. hmmm....

One theory is that another guy successfully gamed her and she either wanted to fck him or did. When she became available... that guy had no intention of a relationship with her like she thought. Therefore she went active on social media as she attempted to build a life with whatever social circle she has or is in.

The other possibility is that she is still a plate of the other guy, she likes him but he is not wanting a relationship with her. He is not communicating much with her while she is on vacation with her mom. So she is looking for emotional support (you). As soon as she is back she will be begging the other guy that gave and is giving her tingles.

Or.. her mom liked you and is asking about you to her.

None of those cases are good for you. You can and will do better if you just stay clear of her. Some of the more hardened players would just keep her as a plate. But they also would not ask the question, because you asked it's best to just stay NC and move on. How could you EVER trust her if you don't know why she took off.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

All she is trying to do is see if she can get an ego boost from you and the way she does this is by having you try and get back with her again and she turns you down.

If you don't want anything to do with her simply don't respond or say something like "I appreciate you reaching out to me but I think it would best of we no longer communicate. I wish you all the best."

 

[IKO69]

The issue is if you give in, essentially you are telling her that her behavior is okay. She will likely do the same thing again, and with even less care or thought.

Once it's over don't ever go back. Think about it, if you the shoe was on the other foot would you do this to someone you cared about? I'm not saying you have to be a stone cold killer, but you need to be firm and non tolerant when it comes to bs. This is the toughest lesson to learn - I know in your heart you want to be forgiving and understanding in these situations but what often happens it has the opposite effect and women take advantage of you.

 

[Raggendecanton]

All she is trying to do is see if she can get an ego boost from you and the way she does this is by having you try and get back with her again and she turns you down.

If you don't want anything to do with her simply don't respond or say something like "I appreciate you reaching out to me but I think it would best of we no longer communicate. I wish you all the best."

Yeah this is really what i said to her. She said she just "wanted too see how i am doing" since we didnt talk for one month since the breakup. Even though she made it clear during the breakup that she was not gonna contact me. Well guess she didnt hold true too her word lol.

So i appreciated her for reaching out, told her i was doing well, didnt ask if she was doing well and said it would be best for us not too communicate. That was it. No emotions, no begging no pleading. Next time if she contacts me, i will not respond.

 

[typical]

May I refer you to the "Stickied" post which states "Read this if you got Dumped" it has all your answers