Ex is moving out of town

Von

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Bro, why you writing this thread?

For us it scream; "she's the love of my life, never felt so ****edup with anyone else, take me back, I need your emotional rollercoaster back in my life. Oh and ditch that loser, look how he looks like **** now. With me it would never happen"

You gotta fix yourself, see someone

You are an adult, you gotta learn to focus on yourself and not give a **** about others. They made their decision, the outcome is their choice
 

sazc

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There is a distinct possibility that new guy is, quite simply, a better relationship 'match' for her then you were. This doesnt indicate a defect about you, more so, it indicates that she has finally found someone who's defect level and relationship model and expectations match hers well. You know the saying - there's someone for everyone.

In this case, it's safe to assume that, wish them well and be really glad that you have exited that he11

most likely one or both of them are miserable, but they dont want to 'fail' so they are sticking it out, trying to make it work.

In this case, you need to be selfish and focus on you.
 

051AV

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There is a distinct possibility that new guy is, quite simply, a better relationship 'match' for her then you were. This doesnt indicate a defect about you, more so, it indicates that she has finally found someone who's defect level and relationship model and expectations match hers well. You know the saying - there's someone for everyone.

In this case, it's safe to assume that, wish them well and be really glad that you have exited that he11

most likely one or both of them are miserable, but they dont want to 'fail' so they are sticking it out, trying to make it work.

In this case, you need to be selfish and focus on you.
She told me flat out the only reason why she was dating him was for money, she's known for using people I watched her do it, manipulative little b*tch. She needs him now, she took a job in his town, the job she had wasn't giving her enough hours to survive on, she's a junior in the corporation she doesn't get the hours. She needs a place to live she's going to move in with her BF, cheap rent, she tried living with her BF once before the corporation put her in a temporary position. It only lasted a month she couldn't live with him, she would talk to me on the phone crying she wanted to come home. They are polar opposites they drive each other nuts if they spend too much time together, the longest they could be together is 2 weeks with 2 weeks apart.

Her BF is a poster child for AFC he gets rejected by women it didn't matter how hard he tried he struck out. The new female staff that got hired he tried flirting with them they rejected him. I felt bad for him the women wouldn't give him the time of day, they had no problems wanting to talk to me, I was seeing the BPD at the time I couldn't do anything. The BPD is the only woman that ever gave him attention, she only had one goal in mind for him which was using him. She may have developed some feelings for him but its never been a deep emotional connection she only needs him for money. Gives him some attention she gets her bills paid for. Their relationship is very superficial, he wanted sex and she wanted money, I doubt he's getting much sex the meds she's on kills her libido she wasn't very sexual.

She always kept me close even after we stopped seeing each other she liked having me around because we understood each other she could talk to me and she trusted me she always felt protected, we also had to work together. She wasn't happy with her BF she would take her anger out on me it wasn't fair to me wasn't my fault. The reason why she wanted to see somebody else I was too involved with work I couldn't give her the care and attention she desired she was on the back burner. I shouldn't have done that to her but I had a lot going on at work it took all of my attention. She was getting on my nerves so I decided to cut her off completely she went ape sh*t long story short I had to walk away from my supervisor job. Never crap where you eat I knew it was a risky getting involved with a co-worker. Never get involved with women you work with it is not a good idea, it will end badly every time.

I know she will never talk to me again she's too scared and embarrassed its not something either of us would ever forget. When she does see me she gets all shy and nervous like the day we first met. I'm still the caring and understanding guy she fell for but I'm in a different wrapper, I've gotten fit and healthy, I've always been muscular guy but now you can see it. Her BF on the other hand has gone the opposite direction he is no longer fit or healthy, I doubt he's able to see his man hood anymore. He's shopping in XXXL clothes section, he's aged himself so much from the stress people would think he's her father, he's in his mid 30s looks like mid 40s pushing 50. He smokes so many cigarettes for stress relief its taken its toll on his face, wrinkled up, eyes sunken in, he looks horrible.

As I said I'm concerned for her safety I really don't want to see her get physically hurt she doesn't deserve it. She used to get mad at me for being over protective with her but I was the one she came to when she was scared. I'm living my new life, away from stress, I regained my health, I regained my fit and muscular body I had before stress took over my life. Life is good its the way it should be I got involved in a career that took over my life then it turn stressful I ended up with health issues, I changed it, I'm doing what I want to do again.
 
B

BlueAlpha1

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This is ridiculous. Look how long these posts are.

I understand patience because I was a miserable SOB about this kind of thing once, but 2 years is absurd. It's perfectly reasonable to think about her from time to time, you probably will for the rest of your life. But typing all of this out is a huge waste of energy. And half of it is about the other man!? What are you worried about this idiot for???

You can't help people who don't want to be helped.
 

YawataNoKami

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We haven't spoken in two years she's moving to another town with the guy she's with, she is a BPD, I don't know why the guy she's with hasn't realized she's killing him. Living together full time will finish him off for sure I won't be surprised to hear through the grapevine of friends he's either dead or landed in the hospital.

When I went to his town before the holidays to go do some errands and see some friends I seen him he wouldn't talk to me too ashamed of what he looks like. As I've said before he's 34 at most and looks 50. I don't know why he would put himself through what he's going through, now he's letting her move in full time he's resisted for her to do so for 3 years. The man doesn't know how to say no or he's one AFC, why do guys put them through the misery. He must look in the mirror to see how awful he looks he didn't look that way before her he was proud of the way he looked. They never could live together they drove each other nuts she even said to me he stresses her out mentally. He has a really violent temper I see him losing it she may even end up dead which I don't want to see. He will lose his temper and hit her, I know she's had bruises she hid from me I asked her about them.

I'm glad she's out of my life I wouldn't ever get involved with a girl that uses Zoloft and Ritalin she's on both. The side effects of the meds cause her issues, they make her sick it was hard to deal with, he mood really fluctuates, you can tell when the meds are wearing off. I knew she took pills I found out what she was taking I searched the net. If she has to ever get off Zoloft the withdrawl symptoms are nasty I wouldn't want to be around for that. The meds affected her sexual desire it was next to nothing.

I know where she's going to be working I don't see her lasting very long she's going to end up quitting or be very miserable. The people that work there know her reputation they don't like her, they will make her life miserable to get rid of her. She can't handle stress, she's taken on a fairly high stress position I see her having a break down. I put her in stressful situations when she worked with me she was scared she looked me in the eyes I could tell she was saying don't do that again.

I don't know why it bothers me she's moving away I'm glad she's out of my life I do miss her at times but in the most part my life is better with out her. She put way too much stress in my life she was hard to handle. Being with a girl that has mental health problems brings a lot of issues to a relationship. She will never change she's on antidepressant drugs for the rest of her life.


 

Peace and Quiet

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GT40

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The phone number on her cell for the Police is the same as your phone. If she wants to be **** kicked by the BF, her issu. It yours.
Walk away man. You're done with her.
 

051AV

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I've always been searching about BPDs info keeps popping up I found a body building forum that had 11 pages of guys with BPD women. You know when you get that holy sh*t feeling well I had that last night at 1am reading.

I was up in the air if she was a BPD or not she is mentally ill she told me that from the day we met, I don't hold that against her. Ya she a BPD, he's a NPD he is very much narcissistic, from what I read BPDs and NPD are drawn to each to each other like flies to sh*t. I can see why he's still hanging on to her, I did read something just now that struck a chord. What I read is what he's doing he's fighting to his death he thinks he can win the game with her but he can't he will end up losing. They used an example of a rich powerful guy well that's what he is he throws so much money at her it would be cheaper for him to hire a hooker. If he wants to save his life he might be wise to take a gun out of the cabinet, I hate to say it but it is his only way out. She doesn't deserve to die but he doesn't either she's going to kill him before.

What I've read explains a lot about her friends she doesn't have any close ones, her whole life revolves around her dog she loves her dog more than she does people. If she ever loses her dog I think she will implode, I've watched her with her dog its a huge part of her life, it helps her to manage her disorder. She moves in with her BF its going to finish him off pretty sad to see a guy possibly die from health complications at the age of 35-36. Her living with him full time is going to finish him off.

I know why she's blocked me on social media any reminders of me triggers the abandonment issues she has, I've also read BPDs never totally leave your life. I read the analogy I've been put in a box on the shelf she may come back after she's tired of the guy she's with I can see it happening when she gets tired of living with him. After what I've been reading I don't want her back you truly can't help BPDs they are fvcked for the rest of their lives. What p*sses me off the most is she's a smart intelligent young woman and her parents screwed her up.

All in all I did walk away fairly unscathed I did have to walk away from my job I read if you stand up to a BPD they hate you I fought fire with fire with her when she locked horns with me the final time. The only reason why she won is because she is a woman and they always win in human resources eyes. The management new she was fvcked up and I wasn't they took her side and gave me the boot. After I left the corporation they soon found out how screwed up she is. It is amazing how such an attractive woman can be so screwed up in the head to this day she is really attractive but she's a horrible person on the inside.
 

051AV

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Funny....

How old are you ?
I'm 40 the BPD is 31, the women I grew up with were raised in healthy families I've never delt with women that suffer from mental illness its a challenge that is for sure.
 

sazc

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I'm 40 the BPD is 31, the women I grew up with were raised in healthy families I've never delt with women that suffer from mental illness its a challenge that is for sure.
You're white knighting this chick and you need to STOP. If not for your sanity, please stop, for all of ours! .......

Let her go. She has her path, you need to remove yourself from it. Your path doesn't include her anymore
 

Dingo

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At 40 you should know better.... Life's a *****..... You can't safe them all....

Sadly it looks like you're determined to go down with this ship....

Move on... have a great career... find a wonderful woman...marry her.... have kids....be happy...

She isn't your "challenge" anymore....
 

xstang77

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Ok this is getting redundant. Your so interested in a bpd chick, you can have mine she still hits me up did for over 7 months that I ignored her. Tell you what hit her up send her a text tell her of your love
For her and have her come Fvck you and cheat on her bf and promise you the moon and the stars then the next day when she spins the c0ck carousel after admitting her undying love for you and posts pictures in another guys arms you'll be reminded how much of a piece of garbage she is, there's no special place she holds you in her past your just a puppet that she wants to get crumbs out of every once in a while for validation because you fell prey to her manipulation in the past.
 
B

BlueAlpha1

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He's in the:
"I don't want her back, I'm just going to talk endlessly about this, writing down thousands of useless what if scenarios. I'll pretend to be looking for advice but I'll ignore 99% of it, until I find the one person who rationalizes how I could eventually just use her as a FWB so that I can have some false hope"

He'll come out of this trance on his own, not from anything we tell him. They are not receptive to logic in this phase. This is his red pill moment and he's spitting it back up for the time being.

There was another guy on this forum who had a post about his BPD from 2014, and last year (as in TWO YEARS LATER) came back with an "update" in the same thread. It wasn't a reflective post about what he'd learned or how far he'd come -- he'd basically relapsed and it was the exact same long-winded, nonsensical post, only 2 years later.

Can't remember the guys user name. He wasn't a regular poster, but I was very sad to see that.

 

051AV

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What triggered me thinking about her again is her moving in with a guy that could possibly lose it and kill her. She thinks she has things under control but she usually screws up some how, she worked under me for 3 years I know what she's like. The guy she's with is on the breaking point, he flips his nut and pulls out one of his semi autos from the gun cabinet she's not going to have enough time to phone the cops or run. He will get the blood splatter he craves, the way he described to me seeing brain matter and blood spraying everywhere from the bullets he's fvcking sick in the head. The man is a few bricks short of a load, ya she's a pain in the ass but she's still a human being that deserves to live, it will haunt me for years if she ends up dead because of him.

As for myself I have a new life now, healthy physically and mentally it took nearly 2 years to recover from job burnout, back working in my previous field of work, all in all I have rebuilt myself. Now that my head is clear I can start trying to figure out what in the hell happened 2 years ago because it was all a blur I was contending with her I was contending with my job and I was dealing with financial problems. When I walked out of my job and kicked her out of my life I didn't figure out what happened because things happened so fast. I focused on 1) getting myself physically ready for returning to physically demanding work 2) Getting my head cleared out so I could thing straight I had 5 intense years at work with a lot going on I was mentally worn out. Today I look at the world a different way, I'm away from the negativity the breeds in large corporations, around positive people again.

Do I want the BPD back? nope she was too much of a rollercoaster, strap on the seat belt she will take you for a ride.
 

051AV

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When you've delt with a BPD it rattles you I've never had this effect from other women that have moved out of my life.

A19 year old girl giving me the eyes today she knows of me I know of her but no way I'm I going to get involved with a 19 year old especially when I'm a year older than her mom who had her daughter when she was 21. Her mom would probably kick my ass as she knows who old I'm.

As for the BPD she couldn't handle the fact I attracted women, it would always lead to fights she latched on the other guy because she knew he was insecure she says she goes after insecure men she found out I'm too alpha for her. The more I've read about BPDs I must have drove her nuts triggering her abandonment issues. I've also read these women are known to slap restraining orders on guys they are with I'm glad that never happened. I've been having a good read. As I said this guy she's with is a real loonie toon she's probably got glimpses of his bad temper not sure what she's going to do when he goes off his rocker and has a bullet with her name on it.

In reality I get the feeling she's going to get overwhelmed and be asking for her previous position back and moving back to my town. She is a high functioning BPD she knows she has problems when a woman flat out tells you she has mental illness and she's on meds the second day we met. She was so proud of her self when she was making changes in her life sadly she kept slipping back into that hole. Her getting excited and smiling is what I remember the most when she accomplished things to increase her education.

Ya I have moved on with my life I'm happy where the direction of my life is going, she dragging me down I even told her that she would get upset and say I was the coldest man she's ever met.
 

051AV

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I've learned one thing, never get involved with women you work with no matter how attractive she its when things go for sh*t the guy will always lose in most cases. I was a senior man in my job she is a junior I had lots of experience, I had to walk away from my job, the guy she's with has more to lose than me he is also a senior man but he also makes 80-90k a year. I had my previous field of work to return too, he's got nothing to return to he started as a junior in the corporation its all he knows and nothing else, he's screwed.
 

YawataNoKami

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I'm 40 the BPD is 31, the women I grew up with were raised in healthy families I've never delt with women that suffer from mental illness its a challenge that is for sure.
Jesus Christ.............

I can't ................ you most be a troll ,no one is that stupid.
 
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