Ex GF broke up with me because she "wasn't ready for a relationship yet"?

[Dodgypirate]

You messed up when you told her to "think about it" and when you told her "you had feelings for her as more than just friends". Just walk out of the room without appearing butthurt about it.

She asked you to meet her parents... which seems good, right? Well it is good... as long as you say no. Girls are constantly testing you to see how available you are to them. Use your own scarcity to your advantage. As someone said above.. girls will try to get you to act like an afc.. and then when you obey them they resent you.

Chances are things got cold when she started talking to another dude and when things with the other dude were getting serious she dumped you. Girls plan **** out ahead of time. They don't dump you and then go looking for a new boy toy. The new boy toy is in place beforehand.

You can't do anything to increase your chances and you shouldn't want anyone who doesn't want you. You have to be less interested in her than she is in you and you have got to have other options so when the fickle *****s decide they're going to go cold you can just go even colder and start ****ing someone else.

Chances are if when she went cold on you you had went no contact and started seeing someone else she probably wouldn't have dumped you... but the best part is... even if she did who cares? You're ****ing someone else anyway.

Anyone that tells you to do anything other than spin plates and go ghost on her has been listening to too many country songs.

Keep one foot out the door.

OK let me get things straight with someone who obviously doesn't know much about women, or puts them all in his stereotype locker room.

Not all girls will find someone else to replace me/you ... why would a girl be looking for another guy when she's already got one giving her great sex (she's told me every single time we did it and every time we did her body was shaking uncontrollably). Anyway your "theory" is WRONG.

I doubt she ditched me because of some "other guy" ... she was clear on why she did: "not ready for a relationship" and to many "arguments".

My ex gf doesn't know about any other girls I'm currently ****ing/dating ... she doesn't need to know to be honest.

 

[Dodgypirate]

P.S when did I tell her to "think about it" lol

I went up to her room because she wanted "a talk" - knew what was coming because I've been in these situations before.

She told me she wanted a "break" (i.e a break up) and I asked why, etc ...

I may have said things on the verge of begging the night she broke it off, but the next day I just started NC straight away (deleted her phone number, Facebook, status)

 

[Dodgypirate]

Explain to me again why you want her back?

Why do I want her back?

Because I've finally come to realise how stupid I was, how I overreacted to her remarks ... she was only teasing.

In all honesty, I can come across as a pretty sensitive guy, but this is mainly due to the bullying I had withstood back in school, by family and "friends".

Another issue is that when I was with my ex I was on medication for my ADD, medication that made me get mood swings - I don't really want to use it as an excuse but it was a major factor in me overreacting.

I'm off the drugs now.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Just for the sake of understanding what's going on, when she calls you retard in front of people, she's basically wanting you to amog her. She wants you to display the alpha behavior of retaliating, but in a fun way. I know hindsight is 20/20 and it's always easy to think of a snappy comeback later, but if you had said right back to her "isn't it a crime to have sex with retards? Someone's gonna report you," you would have passed the test, made the gina tingle, and everything would have continued to go well.

Really? She disrespects you in public and you jump through her hoops and try to make it "fun"? Where I come from, such low class behavior is simply not tolerated.

To the OP: you are a damn fool for trying to get this girl back.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Not all girls will find someone else to replace me/you ... why would a girl be looking for another guy when she's already got one giving her great sex (she's told me every single time we did it and every time we did her body was shaking uncontrollably). Anyway your "theory" is WRONG.

I take it you are not familiar with the concept of branch swinging?

I doubt she ditched me because of some "other guy" ... she was clear on why she did: "not ready for a relationship" and to many "arguments".

Her "official explanation" doesn't mean sh!t. Do not ever take a woman's word at face value.

 

[Dodgypirate]

Really? She disrespects you in public and you jump through her hoops and try to make it "fun"? Where I come from, such low class behavior is simply not tolerated.

To the OP: you are a damn fool for trying to get this girl back.

See now this is where it comes to it being my fault for the break up. I know relationships are 2 sided, meaning that some of the blame is on her too.

I OVERREACTED to her "banter" ... it was just a silly remark that I blew out of proportion. I've been bullied for most of my life and being called a "retard" for me is a serious insult - and from this I've learnt to not take things so seriously.

Maybe I am fool for "trying to get this girl back" ... but this could've/should've been easily fixed. I'm going to say that *if* and *only if* I hadn't been an ass we would still be together ... 100% certainty.

 

[Dodgypirate]

I take it you are not familiar with the concept of branch swinging?


Her "official explanation" doesn't mean sh!t. Do not ever take a woman's word at face value.

OK I GET IT ... her "official explanation" "doesn't mean sh!t" ... I'm not saying this is the true reason for her breaking up with me.

The true reason is because I was a d!ck to her, overreacted far too easily, in bad moods constantly.

I've "fixed" those issues thanks to these weeks of No Contact ... I feel as if I've become a funnier guy to be around -- even my friends have pointed that out to me.

Theses issues were easily fixed and all behind me at this point and this is why we deserve to have another go.

 

[Dodgypirate]

I take it you are not familiar with the concept of branch swinging?


Her "official explanation" doesn't mean sh!t. Do not ever take a woman's word at face value.

OK I GET IT ... her "official explanation" "doesn't mean sh!t" ... I'm not saying this is the true reason for her breaking up with me.

The true reason is because I was a d!ck to her, overreacted far too easily, in bad moods constantly.

I've "fixed" those issues thanks to these weeks of No Contact ... I feel as if I've become a funnier guy to be around -- even my friends have pointed that out to me.

Theses issues were easily fixed and all behind me at this point and this is why we deserve to have another go.

 

[JoeMarron]

Goddamn..it blows my mind how some dudes can allegedly get laid left and right yet still act like a sex starved AFC with certain women. Dodgypirate go to this link and pay close attention to the section titled "Needy Alpha." This is you. Fix it. http://www.blackdragon-blog.com/2012/07/26/the-three-types-of-men/

 

[Dodgypirate]

Had this deep conversation with a friend of mine earlier on this evening.

We were initially talking about this Christmas dinner/film event on Saturday and somehow the conversation went to my Ex GF ...

He went on to say that he went to this social event, which my ex goes to too, and he noticed that she was looking very down and sad? ...

My ex's friend came up to me a week back and asked if I was "over her yet"

 

[Bible_Belt]

Where I come from, such low class behavior is simply not tolerated.

You mean sex with retards?

 

[TitanSS]

P.S when did I tell her to "think about it" lol

I went up to her room because she wanted "a talk" - knew what was coming because I've been in these situations before.

She told me she wanted a "break" (i.e a break up) and I asked why, etc ...

I may have said things on the verge of begging the night she broke it off, but the next day I just started NC straight away (deleted her phone number, Facebook, status)

When?

Forgot to mention a tilting part ... When she did break up with me I asked her to "think more about it"

From your original post. ^ She broke up with you and you implied that you wished she would change her mind. What does that mean to her? It means that she made the right decision because you value her more than you do yourself.

If you think that what women tell you and what women want and/or mean is the same thing then there is no point in even trying to talk to you.

www.therationalmale.com

Start there.

 

[Dodgypirate]

When?

Forgot to mention a tilting part ... When she did break up with me I asked her to "think more about it"

From your original post. ^ She broke up with you and you implied that you wished she would change her mind. What does that mean to her? It means that she made the right decision because you value her more than you do yourself.

If you think that what women tell you and what women want and/or mean is the same thing then there is no point in even trying to talk to you.

www.therationalmale.com

Start there.

Not really mate. If I told her "think about it" walked out of the room and went absolutely NC on her ass it doesn't. Hell me going NC means I care more for myself. Don't think reading some junkie's web page is going to help :crackup:

 

[Dodgypirate]

A little update:

Had a great night last night besides as so called "friend" used a deodorant spray with a lighter and burned half my face with it and then spraying half the remainder of the spray into my face .... he got what he deserved any way.

But more to the point ... today there was this film / christmas dinner thing that some other friends had organised a week or so back. At first I didn't really want to go but after some convincing I decided to.

My ex was meant to go but funnily enough she backed out the day after I added myself to the "going" section of the event...

So yeah, it could have just meant she had important things to do and couldn't afford to go but it seemed as if she was raring to go all week. So it could possibly be because I was going.

If she was over me, why would she not go?

Another thing is she blatantly tried to make jealous last night by holding the "friend"'s (the guy I started this reply with^) hand - and she DID see me.

 

[TitanSS]

If you want actual advice you're in the right place.

But if you're going to deny and ignore every single bit of advice you get and keep worrying about this woman then why are you posting here?

It's clearly obvious that anything with her is over.. if you did manage to start something up again you would be the b1tch in the relationship because you clearly care more about her than she does about you.

You're the man not the b1tch correct? Act like it and move on.

 

[sylvester the cat]

If she was over me, why would she not go?

cos she's over you and got something better to do?

gotta love these guys bragging about how they're going NC only to wind up on here asking every tom, **** and harry if she still wants them or not. lol.

you were the big man in all this and went NC - so pick up your balls, carry it through and get on with your life. never mind what she does or doesn't do.

 

[Dodgypirate]

cos she's over you and got something better to do?

gotta love these guys bragging about how they're going NC only to wind up on here asking every tom, **** and harry if she still wants them or not. lol.

you were the big man in all this and went NC - so pick up your balls, carry it through and get on with your life. never mind what she does or doesn't do.

Really? All her friends were going. Why not go?!

I didn't particularly want to go because she was going in the first place ... I',m clearly not over her ... so I think there's a chance she feels the same way.

 

[Dodgypirate]

She broke up with you.

She treats you badly.

Why do you care what she is doing?

Why aren't YOU hitting the gym, getting some muscle and building your self-esteem. Why aren't YOU checking out other chicks?

Don't be so worried about her.......she said she doesn't want you. Accept that, and do better!

Oh I am going to the gym, I've started this strick 3-4 meals a day regime to getting bigger and beastlier!

I am checking and ****ing other girls in the mean time ... I'm not totally hooked onto her like many of the answerers feel I am.

I don't really care about what she does with her days, apparently they suck anyway ... she barely ever goes out and spends her weekends at her parent's house.

Why do I want her back you may ask? Because I've come to realise, through me only, that I was an utter **** to her. I overreacted to her calling me "retard" on nights out in front of my friends. She was teasing me as couples do quite often when they are together.

I know if I hadn't got so angry with her there would ahve been a big chance we would still be together.

If my friend didn't run into the kitchen like an idiot and instead acknowledge my ex's presence and let us talk in private ... maybe we could be on better terms.

Did I not mention that this happened?

If not here it is.

On a Monday night 2 weeks ago (only 1 week after the break up and NC) I was talking to said friend about going out that same night. I saw my ex come down the stairs in the corner of my eye, she noticed me and came to speak with me. I didn't have enough time to respond because she had leant through the doorway and seen my friend jump into the kitchen. As soon as she had seen this she was off without giving me one word or look.

 

[Dodgypirate]

cos she's over you and got something better to do?

gotta love these guys bragging about how they're going NC only to wind up on here asking every tom, **** and harry if she still wants them or not. lol.

you were the big man in all this and went NC - so pick up your balls, carry it through and get on with your life. never mind what she does or doesn't do.

Wait so she was prepared to ditch all her so-called "girl friends" from here at University to do something better?! .... no.

Although it's still unclear why she didn't go I would beg to differ.

 

[sterlingarcher]

Wait so she was prepared to ditch all her so-called "girl friends" from here at University to do something better?! .... no.

Although it's still unclear why she didn't go I would beg to differ.

You need a month of no contact minimum. While you two aren't speaking you should be improving yourself and changing yourself. She's gonna come back into your life at some point (especially if you live in the same dorm or whatever), and when she does you need to be something new and exciting again, not the same guy she remembers breaking up with.

- Get in better shape. (like you said you're doing)
- Get some new clothes/update your wardrobe.
- Get a new haircut. Nothing crazy but something slightly different.

It all sounds kind of trivial but it makes a surprising difference. Especially in your case with the two of you, and all her gossipy friends, living so close to one another. It'll take all of about a day for word to get back to her that you're doing something new, and she'll be intrigued.


EDIT
And by the way; stop thinking about why she did what she did before hand. It's all completely irrelevant and does not matter. All that stuff about taking you to her parents, and why she said this or did that...throw it out the window. Go off of her actions from here on out, and never bring that past crap up again when you do talk to her.