Ever been "used and tossed aside"? Howd it make you feel?

[Jaylan]

Have any of you ever been "used" for sex and then "tossed aside". By used, I mean that you clearly like a girl, she knows it, and you two proceed to have a physical relationship...but then at some point she feels shes had enough of you and goes on her way.

Howd it make you feel? Generally, Im sure many here have had flings with certain girls and not worried about how she might feel when things are done. But its kinda weird when it happens to you yourself. Sometimes I wonder if it was my ego that caused me to give a damn that a chick I liked saw me as nothing more than a screw. You know, the ego kinda being annoyed that she cut me off before I cut her off. And then sometimes I go back to thinking "lolz cool, I got used for my ****"

But other times I actually thought "damn, I really liked that chick...she was cool. It sucks that I wasnt good enough for more than sex". Now I know some dudes are all about smashing chicks and then moving on to the next one, but Im sure many of us have been in a place where a chick through us a curve ball. Despite the prevailing societal assumption that chicks are the only ones who get used for sex, or that chicks are the only ones who can feel slighted by these things...it does happen to guys too.

Just seeing if some dudes have ever felt similarly. Especially considering that bad experiences with women (sometimes a particular) does push a lot of guys here. I gotta admit, its rather confusing when youre in "single guy smash mode", and then all of a sudden you actually give a damn about a certain situation.

 

[TheException]

By used, I mean that you clearly like a girl, she knows it, and you two proceed to have a physical relationship...but then at some point she feels shes had enough of you and goes on her way.

Recently a plate of mine got into a relationship with another dude. We were only hooking up and not really dating. Only was seeing her for about two months. Whether the guy was an ex boyfriend or another guy she was concurrently seeing was irrelevant. So sure, when i first found out i was like "ahh sh1t" because she was cool and was fun in bed. BUT i never push for relationships...my attitude is just to keep hanging out with women and hooking up. If they bring up going exclusive...it is at THAT point that i will even put a thought to thinking about that. So sure it sucks to lose a plate, and you do sometimes think about her....but its not crippling. I would never allow it to be. It just is what it is...and ive added new plates since.

Sometimes I wonder if it was my ego that caused me to give a damn that a chick I liked saw me as nothing more than a screw.

Yes it is. That and you lost a girl that was giving you sex...reasonable to have a feeling of loss.

I actually thought "damn, I really liked that chick...she was cool. It sucks that I wasnt good enough for more than sex"

Sh1tty self defeating attitude^

Who knows why it didnt work out. No need to even put effort into figuring it out. Sh1t happens. If anything you should make an absurd rationalization over that kind of attitude above. "Her loss".

 

[C-quenced]

No it's never happened to me although I wish it has. Sounds like a really good "problem" to have. I don't understand why a man would get so emotional about this. She gave you some pvssy and did you a favor by leaving. You have the best of both worlds. What are you complaining about? The bunch of you sound like a bunch of little b!tches.

I knew it was bad before with so many ****ing sissies and faggots running around but I didn't think emasculation would be THIS bad.

 

[Jaylan]

^So a guy is a faggot for ever having a emotional connection with a woman? I guess guys who get married and hurt if their wives screw them over are just faggots right?

I never understood the line of thinking that men are supposed to just be emotionless sex machines who never actually fall for chicks. Lets be serious, we arent robots.

 

[Purefilth]

Yes its happened, Wasn't a great feeling as I recall, but nothing a night out with the lads and getting on top of another chick couldn't solve.

Its just a hurt feeling - it heals and eventually becomes nothing more than a memory.

We all go through stuff that hurts and knocks us back. Its how we get up and move forward that matters - It's what makes us who we are today.

 

[C-quenced]

^So a guy is a faggot for ever having a emotional connection with a woman? I guess guys who get married and hurt if their wives screw them over are just faggots right?

If that's what you'd like to call them. I would say it's their fault for getting involved with the wrong woman in the first place.

I never understood the line of thinking that men are supposed to just be emotionless sex machines who never actually fall for chicks. Lets be serious, we arent robots.

Neither are we females. I think drilling that simple concept into your mind will solve many of your problems.

 

[Plutoman]

If that's what you'd like to call them. I would say it's their fault for getting involved with the wrong woman in the first place.

And oftentimes the signs of the wrong woman are subtle and they come out after she leaves.

Yes, I had this happen once - was really... weird. Didn't think the girl would be that type, well, until it actually happened. Was a bit of a bummer, but I'm at the point where these things phase me less and less.

 

[nismo-4]

We all have at some point. Doesn't Briffault's Law hold any meaning for you?

 

[SirFratserlot]

Ya, but I dumped her when she started playing games

 

[Stagger Lee]

All women I've been with were just "using" me for sex. Probably over 100 ONS and flings.

 

[zinc4]

In my experience, most want something more.....it has happened before, though....i don't see anything wrong with it...it's a win win situation...causal sex with no aftermath...

 

[mv.89]

We all have at some point. Doesn't Briffault's Law hold any meaning for you?

For people not knowing what that is

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p. 191

 

[Jaylan]

For people not knowing what that is

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p. 191

I think this really only holds true for the less desirable guys who dont have many options. I have a couple friends who have a good amount of options, and they call plenty of shots in their relationships.

If that's what you'd like to call them. I would say it's their fault for getting involved with the wrong woman in the first place.

Youre the one who feels the need to insult people who actually end up have feelings for a woman. Maturity comes with age I guess

Neither are we females. I think drilling that simple concept into your mind will solve many of your problems.

I never said we were females. I said men have emotions and are not emotionless robots who only care about sex all the time. I used the marriage example because we have married posters on this board who did it because they actually enjoy their women.

 

[Warrior74]

How'd it feel? I'll tell you the truth.....

It's not how you feel. It's what you do about it that counts. If you turn into a blubbering mess, you've failed. If you chalk it up to the experience and learn something from it, you win. Use it as fuel.

 

[yyc12]

It's not how you feel. It's what you do about it that counts. If you turn into a blubbering mess, you've failed. If you chalk it up to the experience and learn something from it, you win. Use it as fuel.

True..but you can't pretend that butt hurt feelings don't exist. That's the best way to make sure they never go away. There is truth to allowing your feelings to "run its course".

 

[Warrior74]

True..but you can't pretend that butt hurt feelings don't exist. That's the best way to make sure they never go away. There is truth to allowing your feelings to "run its course".

Of course. Here's the thing. The reason people respond to some threads and not others is because the subject matter or headline resonates with them. I responded because I just recently went through something like this. I have been seeing a girl for the last few weeks, it's been a lot of sex, she's been buying me dinner and taking me to the movies, I've been really enjoying her company. But she wants to get married, she wants kids, she wants a relationship and I'm in the middle of building my business (I'm at work right now doing paper work and prospecting). I didn't have enough time for her so she left. And yah, it doesn't feel great, but here's the thing. I cannot let her get me off course. I have one last chance to make something of my life before I'm to old to be anything other than a wage slave. I will miss her. But I enjoyed the time we had together. I'll let my feelings run their course, but I won't let them dictate my actions. I did that way to much as a young man and it's part of the reason why I am where I am today.

 

[Deep Dish]

Jaylan:
Have any of you ever been "used" for sex and then "tossed aside". By used, I mean that you clearly like a girl, she knows it, and you two proceed to have a physical relationship...but then at some point she feels shes had enough of you and goes on her way.

Howd it make you feel? Generally, Im sure many here have had flings with certain girls and not worried about how she might feel when things [are] done. But its kinda weird when it happens to you yourself. Sometimes I wonder if it was my ego that caused me to give a damn that a chick I liked saw me as nothing more than a screw.

I think [Briffault’s Law] really only holds true for the less desirable guys who don’t have many options. I have a couple friends who have a good amount of options, and they call plenty of shots in their relationships.

It can sting, for sure.

But for the most part, most of the time, most girls don’t “use” guys for sex. They dream of commitment from a high value man of their own choice, only to later be unceremoniously pumped & dumped. Hurt by rejection, bruised, their hamster does mental gymnastics by backwards rationalizing that they were only using the men for sex.

Briffault’s Law is what happens when hypergamy sinks underwater. As long as you can keep your boat above water, you can steer it towards your tropical island destination of your choice, but not when your ship is sinking from less than stellar game. The game doesn’t stop after the bang, after the girlfriend, after the marriage; the game always keeps going.

 

[Zarky]

"Briffault's Law" is the most silly exclamation I've ever heard. You could replace "female" with "male" and have the exact same amount of proof for that statement as well.

Aaaaanyway, yes OP I have been "used for sex" and then discarded. A few times.

Most recently it was in Jan/Feb of this year where 3 chicks in a row did it. Never heard back from any of them. All within a couple of weeks too.

And yes it was a little weird. No it didn't "upset" me but a couple of them I wish I could have boned a few more times. Actually I think of it as kind of cool in a way. On one hand it's disappointing but on the other hand it's nice not to have b*tches pump and dump me because 90% of the time they want more, more, moremoremoremore.

I think fondly back to the ones who pump and dump me. On one hand it's sad and on the other hand I'm glad.

 

[elitemulk]

Yep. And you know what? The first time it happened it was...frickin awesome!

She was the first girl I actually starting sleeping with on a regular basis and at the time, in my young mind, I was just happy to be getting sex. She was a bit older than me and had her own car. She used to call me up, drive to my place, use me as a dildo for a few hours, and then drive back to her place.

Good times.

:rockon: Growing up that was always the dream. haha

 

[C-quenced]

Matter of fact it did happen to me. She verbally told her friends that she was only "using" me for sex and telling them everything from every last detail about my d!ck (how big it was, how it looks and feels etc) and how good I was in bed. Her friends ended up getting curious and I wanted to use that as an opportunity. Turns out that this broad that was "using" me really wanted more... funny how trivial these are that I actually forgot about it.

I have yet to have one that gives it up to me in one day and then leaves. I have bad luck with women that are worried that my agenda is to screw the living daylights out of them only to never see them again. I wish more women were up for "using" me instead Then again I'm not a rock star and I don't screw different women left to right so I guess it's a game of probability.