etiquette w girl who is flakey/ghosty in social circle?

[PlatoPacks23]

me and girl have hung out a little bit, but she's honestly not that interested in me imo. however I was fine being friends with her bc I'm cool with other people in her/our social circle and see her a lot in classes.

well I texted her asking for a recommendation on something, and she never even wrote back (first time she hasn't written back). which was annoying but more annoying was that she was like posting on her social media that day so clearly could not care less.


Now typically I would just blatantly ignore her and not even say anything to her, BUT I am in a social circle and we share similar friends AND I see her a lot in class (which is why I found it super rude she didn't even respond..)

I honestly think she'd just act like, "oh I missed it I was so busy, sorry!" if I see her when I know that's BS, but how would you act in a scenario where you continue to see her over and over? confront her? pretend it never happened (seems like a ***** move on my part)?

I kinda want to mention it to her, and then after she's aware of it just ignore her rest of time but idk. it's tricky in a social circle

 

[Clockwerk50]

It sounds like you are butt hurt that she didn’t reciprocate your advances.

To be honest, your best game plan is to let it go and act like none of this ever happened: no texts, no hang outs, no romantic interest. Stop pursuing her; keep her at an arms length. In the grant scheme of things, it is not a big deal.

It is the best route to take for everyone involved.

 

[BPH]

Dude...if you're in a social circle and cool with those people, just be cool with those people.

Ignore her and focus on the people in that circle you care about.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

It sounds like you are butt hurt that she didn’t reciprocate your advances.

To be honest, your best game plan is to let it go and act like none of this ever happened; no texts, no hang out, no romantic interest. Stop pursuing her; keep her at an arms length. In the grant scheme of things, it is not a big deal.

It is the best route to take for everyone involved.

I am butthurt! Lol.

but I was fine just being friends w her and kinda accepted it but she is just being rude at this point. Not even responding to a text about a recommendation? Wtf

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop being so needy. Who cares if she answers. Cut this b!tch out of your life and stop expending mental energy on people who don't deserve it

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Stop being so needy. Who cares if she answers. Cut this b!tch out of your life and stop expending mental energy on people who don't deserve it

Well she didn’t answer lol

my question was just how to act with her in my social circle but I guess you’re saying just ignore her completely

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well she didn’t answer lol

my question was just how to act with her in my social circle but I guess you’re saying just ignore her completely

Find a new social circle if this is how you are treated within it.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Find a new social circle if this is how you are treated within it.

no it’s just her, the other people are cool and I take classes w them

 

[BPH]

no it’s just her, the other people are cool and I take classes w them

Then how about you f***ing read my suggestion and engage with them and NOT her. How hard is that?

 

[Clockwerk50]

I am butthurt! Lol.

but I was fine just being friends w her and kinda accepted it but she is just being rude at this point. Not even responding to a text about a recommendation? Wtf

Forget about it. To make things less akward for the social circle and yourself, or if you see her again, be like “hey how is it going?, how is everything?, how is work? Is everything ok? Alright, I’m glad everything is fine”. Then talk to someone else or tell her you have to go.

Women are experts at this, acting like nothing ever happened. Play the same game.

 

[The Duke]

Getting mad at someone because they didn't reply to a stupid text is the dumbest thing ever. It shows how insecure and irrational you are. Go work on yourself.

I'm not buying your story either. You were fishing and she didn't take the bait. Then you waited all day and kept monitoring her online status to see if she was really blowing you off.

 

[Tilex]

Who is she related to in your social circle?
Is she a friend of your sister, cousin, brother, or mother?
Is she a friend of the girl your cousin is dating?
Is she the friend of the friend of the girlfriend of some guy you knew in high school?

Usually the closer the people are in relation to you in a social circle are nicer than the associated distant ones.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Getting mad at someone because they didn't reply to a stupid text is the dumbest thing ever. It shows how insecure and irrational you are. Go work on yourself.

I'm not buying your story either. You were fishing and she didn't take the bait. Then you waited all day and kept monitoring her online status to see if she was really blowing you off.

If this is what happened OP, you really have some heavy duty work to do on yourself.

That's neediness on a level that cannot be hidden by you with women. You are doing things without even knowing that are signalling this to them.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Getting mad at someone because they didn't reply to a stupid text is the dumbest thing ever. It shows how insecure and irrational you are. Go work on yourself.

I'm not buying your story either. You were fishing and she didn't take the bait. Then you waited all day and kept monitoring her online status to see if she was really blowing you off.

what are you not buying? I mean yeah I was checking her story to see if she'd reply duh lol. but im online a lot it's still rude not to reply back

I would be mad at ANYONE (guy or girl) who I asked if they had a recommendation for something and then instead of texting back they just post on social media all day

 

[PlatoPacks23]

If this is what happened OP, you really have some heavy duty work to do on yourself.

That's neediness on a level that cannot be hidden by you with women. You are doing things without even knowing that are signalling this to them.

as said above, yeah I'd be pissed if anyone (guy or girl) instead of texting me back just posted on their story all day.

and I already moved on bc I could tell she wasn't interested anymore, but just on a friend level it just shows what she thinks of me. you can't even text someone back?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

as said above, yeah I'd be pissed if anyone (guy or girl) instead of texting me back just posted on their story all day.

and I already moved on bc I could tell she wasn't interested anymore, but just on a friend level it just shows what she thinks of me. you can't even text someone back?

Pissed about what exactly?

That some chick you are pretending to be friends with but actually want to fvck isn't giving you the time of day?

You aren't fooling anyone. Women aren't stupid, at least not in that way. She knows you want to fvck her and her blowing you off is a signal to you that your plan isn't going to work.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Pissed about what exactly?

That some chick you are pretending to be friends with but actually want to fvck isn't giving you the time of day?

You aren't fooling anyone. Women aren't stupid, at least not in that way. She knows you want to fvck her and her blowing you off is a signal to you that your plan isn't going to work.

well then I guess I just ignore her?

If she's just gonna blow me off even as *friends then there's no point I guess. guess things will be awkward for her!

she's the one making things awkward, bc id be fine being "Friends" with her even if she's not into me - since we are in the same social circle.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

well then I guess I just ignore her?

If she's just gonna blow me off even as *friends then there's no point I guess. guess things will be awkward for her!

That's the whole point.

Your "being friends" in her eyes is a pathetic attempt to try and get at her knowing you don't have a chance otherwise or don't have the balls to ask her out straight up and deal with rejection if it happened.

She lacks respect for you and sees you as weak.

Essentially it's a ruse you are attempting to run on her and she isn't going for it.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

That's the whole point.

Your "being friends" in her eyes is a pathetic attempt to try and get at her knowing you don't have a chance otherwise or don't have the balls to ask her out straight up and deal with rejection if it happened.

She lacks respect for you and sees you as weak.

Essentially it's a ruse you are attempting to run on her and she isn't going for it.

well yeah ive asked her out basically (or she knows I want to) and she's been MIXED. so I just kinda didn't think it was worth the energy and just did the "being friends" thing.

so your advice would be to just ignore her? I don't even know how to go about this since I didn't expect her not to write back and we see each other often. If roles were reversed I would just send a text rather than making it awkward.

 

[BPH]

so your advice would be to just ignore her?

Holy hell dude, how many times do you need to get the same piece of advice before you take it? It's not hard to see why she's not into you - you can't take a hint.