Entitlement

[Lexington]

Guys, it's no big deal if you call to make sure your plans are still on! Would you rather call and find out beforehand that she's going to flake or would you prefer to waste your time sitting around waiting for someone who's not going to show up?

 

[( . )( . )]

Knight's Cross, you're an old guy trying to date in a young messed up world lol

This calling to confirm BS is a very new thing, which came about because of desperate betas giving entitled women way too much, making them celebrities in their own social circle. As a result, they behave like ones. If you were a celeb and the riff raff want to meet up with you, you'd want this "call to confirm" crap just to show how little you care and how you are doing them a favour, right?

Jitterbug nailed it.

What is this calling to confirm crap? How does your pride and self worth even allow it? " Oh YOUR obviously the prize, am I still good enough for you?" Is basically what your conveying. Loser act. Your there to weed OUT the flakeyness, not just temporarily subdue it.

Guys, it's no big deal if you call to make sure your plans are still on! Would you rather call and find out beforehand that she's going to flake or would you prefer to waste your time sitting around waiting for someone who's not going to show up?

What the hell "no big deal", It is a huge deal.

And waste time? Please. Go to meeting place, buy drink wait ten minutes then leave if she flakes. It's not that much of an issue and at least your cutting out the beta phaggotry and can walk away with half your self worth.

For men everywhere guys, do us all a favour and knock this "calling to confirm" shyte off, it's truly shameful. And furthermore how it's even being suggested here is baffling, I'm almost sure this would have been laughed off the board a few years ago.

 

[scrouds]

Jitterbug nailed it.

What is this calling to confirm crap? How does your pride and self worth even allow it? " Oh YOUR obviously the prize, am I still good enough for you?" Is basically what your conveying. Loser act. Your there to weed OUT the flakeyness, not just temporarily subdue it.

Adopt, don't fight it. Tell her to text you that day. Weed out the flakes and don't go anywhere waiting like a chump.

 

[( . )( . )]

Adopt, don't fight it. Tell her to text you that day. Weed out the flakes and don't go anywhere waiting like a chump.

No, still shame worthy in my opinion. Your still presuming she doesn't think the sun shines out of your ass and would never in her wildest dreams think of flaking and letting a guy of your caliber slip through her fingers.

You needn't ask her to text you that day, she's into you already and would have let you know herself like an adult woman if she couldn't make it.
If she doesn't then youve just weeded out sub par sh1t. It's a win win.

Do you see where I'm going?

edit: and just to add, getting flaked on at the bar is far less chumpish than being an unsure beta with questionable self worth beforehand. You'll be gaming a new chick at the bar anyway.

 

[Jitterbug]

You can adapt if you want. After all, we all date for our own idea of fun. The hard question is: can you swallow some pride just to get a date, aka for the promise of pvssy on the horizon?

In the case of a 41 y.o man, who I presume has had his share of poon, the answer is likely no. I'm only 28 and I've had enough poon to survive, so my answer is a no as well.

When I make time to spend with people, I stick to the plan and my words. It's not exactly very high standard, so I'm sure I can ask the same of everyone, women I'm dating included.

 

[zekko]

Guys, it's no big deal if you call to make sure your plans are still on! Would you rather call and find out beforehand that she's going to flake or would you prefer to waste your time sitting around waiting for someone who's not going to show up?

I'm with Lex, I see nothing wrong with a call to confirm. Especially if it's with someone you haven't gone out with yet. If she was thinking of flaking, it might even push her back in line. She may even think you might flake if you haven't talked to her for awhile.

Some guys think of it as a value thing (you're giving up value by calling to confirm, I'm a super alpha, no one would flake on me). But I don't see it that way at all. It's simple etiquette, the way you do things. I like calls to confirm no matter who I have plans with, male or female. My rule of thumb is if it's been planned a few days ahead of time, I like a call to confirm.

By the way, screw the whole "I might lose value" attitude. BE a high value guy, that way you won't have to worry about looking like you're losing value.

 

[Lexington]

What the hell "no big deal", It is a huge deal.

And waste time? Please. Go to meeting place, buy drink wait ten minutes then leave if she flakes. It's not that much of an issue and at least your cutting out the beta phaggotry and can walk away with half your self worth.

For men everywhere guys, do us all a favour and knock this "calling to confirm" shyte off, it's truly shameful. And furthermore how it's even being suggested here is baffling, I'm almost sure this would have been laughed off the board a few years ago.

So let me get this straight: you would rather travel however long to the meeting place, get stood up there and travel back? That sounds more like "beta phaggotry" than simply calling right before the meetup to make sure.

If you honestly think that calling a girl just before a date to confirm will lose her, then you lost her way before that. If a girl has any attraction for you, simply calling her and saying "alright, I'm about to head out," isn't going to make her lose interest.

 

[Lexington]

By the way, screw the whole "I might lose value" attitude. BE a high value guy, that way you won't have to worry about looking like you're losing value.

Nothing demonstrates value like taking the time to travel to and from a date and being stood up!

The time of most high value individuals is quite quite valuable, isn't it? I'm pretty sure most of them would rather know in advance so that they can find better ways to use their time.

 

[( . )( . )]

So let me get this straight: you would rather travel however long to the meeting place, get stood up there and travel back? .

Personally I've never been stood up nor can I imagine it happening but yes absolutely. The alternative is weak and compromises my principals. Besides, chicks will never pass up opportunities to be with guys they perceive as high value, just doesnt happen.

Calling to confirm is reserved for the sea of chumps who see their self worth as lower than hers.

 

[Jitterbug]

I've had dates cancelled a day or two prior but I've never been stood up. Never do this "confirm" thing either. I'd like to think that it's not pure luck! Maybe it's because I never ask low IL girls out.

 

[zekko]

Calling to confirm is reserved for the sea of chumps who see their self worth as lower than hers.

Calling to confirm has nothing to do with self worth or value. It's simply common courtesy.

People on pickup forums want to pigeonhole everything. "AFCs call to confirm/DJs don't". Not everything is so black and white. If you don't want to make confirmation calls, don't. It's not that big a deal.

It's like the texting argument "DJs don't text". When clearly a lot of guys have a lot of success with text game. I've seen it.

It's great that no one has ever flaked on you, but apparently that's not the case with the OP, and a whole lot of other guys on here if the posts are any indication. Personally, I like confirmation calls. Have your secretary make it if you want to look alpha

 

[Lexington]

Personally I've never been stood up nor can I imagine it happening but yes absolutely. The alternative is weak and compromises my principals. Besides, chicks will never pass up opportunities to be with guys they perceive as high value, just doesnt happen.

Calling to confirm is reserved for the sea of chumps who see their self worth as lower than hers.

If calling before the date to let a girl know that you're heading out diminishes your value, then you must be very insecure indeed. Girls don't pass up opportunities to be with guys they perceive as high value but they don't lose interest in high value individuals because that person called before a date.

 

[Nutz]

Ok so I had another Type A pursue me. She asked me out first back on saturday, same day date. I gave her my e-mail addy. I had plans and countered with tuesday after work for drinks, she gave me her cel. I didn't call to confirm, etc. So today rolls around. I leave work, go to said swank place for a drink 15 minutes roll by....no chick. I call her. She states, blah blah blah, I can't make it....blah blah blah I didn't have your #...She acts distracted and says she'll call me back...I say cool and tell her goodbye. Delete #.
Now, what Type A business woman doesn't have e-mail access on her iPhone, Droid, Blackberry, etc? Or couldnt call the place we were to meet at and leave a message.

It's a #'s game isn't it. Moral of the story. When they pull this crap, be willing to walk IMMEDIATELY and NEVER take their calls. I'm convinced that if enough guys sent a STRONG enough message regarding this crappy behavior we wouldn't see it occur as much. Unfortunately once the behavior is established it's probably too late, as well there aren't enough fathers raising their sons to be MEN.

KC

How to avoid a flake:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1817670&postcount=5

2 Strikes rule:
http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154043

 

[zekko]

If calling before the date to let a girl know that you're heading out diminishes your value, then you must be very insecure indeed. Girls don't pass up opportunities to be with guys they perceive as high value but they don't lose interest in high value individuals because that person called before a date.

No doubt these same girls who look down on guys who make confirmation calls are the same girls who want unreliable abusive jerks. Lol, classy bunch.

This subject doesn't even have anything to do with women, really.
Several years ago I was in a band located out of town. We had a regular practice date. One time I drove to their city and I was told "Didn't you get our message, we had to cancel practice". They had called me and left a message on my home phone, but I had just left before I got it. Ever since then I insisted on a confirmation call. You're right Lex, your time is valuable.

Being the leader type that I am I often get the tickets for events or make arrangements for lodging for the group. I almost always will say "don't forget we're going to such and such the weekend of the 29th" or whatever. It's just good business, common sense.

I swear, some people live in some sort of pickup fantasyland where every little action they make is the difference between alpha and AFC. Damn, women aren't even that important, are they? It reminds me of all those "What do alphas eat for breakfast?" type parody posts.

 

[zekko]

If you had never been flaked on by a woman, or if you had never even heard of it.....would you still call to confirm?

The point, Danger, is not that you have to call to confirm.
It's that there's nothing wrong with it if you do.

File this under "things that don't really matter". At least from a male/female perspective.

 

[Zunder]

Solomon and SgtS,
Nope calling to confirm? WTF? That just lowers my position. The one sure indicator of a womans IL is her showing up when you've set up a date. Not to mention that when she called me the second night after, she again used the wrong name. Come on, if she didn't look back at her e-mail and realize what my name was this chick is not worth my time.

Agree. You were absolutely right not to call to confirm pre-date.
Thats what I would have done in my not so long ago AFC days/daze.
This chick had a chance and fvcked up.
Mate if she really gave a shyte about meeting you - then nothing short of Global Thermal Nuclear Catastrophe would stop her.
If I were you I wouldnt even have called to ask where she was.

Frankly I dont know what planet Zekko and Lexington are on with this one. Calling to confrim is GHEY - period. You can joust back and forth with all sorts of arguments as to why it is good to confirm a date - but mate, its GHEY. End of story.

 

[Solomon]

No doubt these same girls who look down on guys who make confirmation calls are the same girls who want unreliable abusive jerks. Lol, classy bunch.

This subject doesn't even have anything to do with women, really.
Several years ago I was in a band located out of town. We had a regular practice date. One time I drove to their city and I was told "Didn't you get our message, we had to cancel practice". They had called me and left a message on my home phone, but I had just left before I got it. Ever since then I insisted on a confirmation call. You're right Lex, your time is valuable.

Being the leader type that I am I often get the tickets for events or make arrangements for lodging for the group. I almost always will say "don't forget we're going to such and such the weekend of the 29th" or whatever. It's just good business, common sense.

I swear, some people live in some sort of pickup fantasyland where every little action they make is the difference between alpha and AFC. Damn, women aren't even that important, are they? It reminds me of all those "What do alphas eat for breakfast?" type parody posts.

Its KBJing bull**** to the fullest, if you are a guy who has experience you have to discern for yourself what works. Confirming to call is being beta? Geez some guys really need to get of that "alpha&beta" ****ryding b.s. that everyone is on an make decisions for themselves and not because XXXPoster said that's cool

I had a buddy who did the opposite of confirming, drove 35 minutes got flaked on
IF one phone call makes me a "beta phaggot" then **** I'm a smart beta phaggot for not wasting my time and gas. While you suckers are driving out your way but then again experience has taught me to only go after women that I find worthy of the pursuit

 

[Lexington]

Agree. You were absolutely right not to call to confirm pre-date.
Thats what I would have done in my not so long ago AFC days/daze.
This chick had a chance and fvcked up.
Mate if she really gave a shyte about meeting you - then nothing short of Global Thermal Nuclear Catastrophe would stop her.
If I were you I wouldnt even have called to ask where she was.

Frankly I dont know what planet Zekko and Lexington are on with this one. Calling to confrim is GHEY - period. You can joust back and forth with all sorts of arguments as to why it is good to confirm a date - but mate, its GHEY. End of story.

Wow that is one hell of an argument you put forth there. Calling to confirm a date is bad because it's "GHEY." They should definitely reserve a spot for you on the Harvard debate team.

Calling before a date to let the girl know you're heading out shouldn't have any effect on your perceived value. If it does, you already lost the girl long before that. You must not have a whole lot of value in her eyes if a simple phone call to make sure you're not wasting your time makes a difference.

 

[Lexington]

If you had never been flaked on by a woman, or if you had never even heard of it.....would you still call to confirm?

Yes. With pretty much every girl I've ever asked out either I called before the date or they did. I just call and say that I'm heading over to the meeting point or that I'm going to their place to pick them up (if they didn't call first). It's common courtesy. There's nothing "low value" about it.

Of all the girls I've asked out on dates, I had one flake. Fortunately, I called beforehand so I didn't have to waste my time driving over to the bar, waiting around for 10-15 min and then leaving again. Because I knew beforehand that she was going to flake, I could immediately start making alternative arrangements on how to spend my time.

If a girl is going to flake, she is going to flake. Calling her just before the date isn't going to change that. If a girl has high interest in you, I highly doubt that a phone call just before the date would diminish your value to any significant extent. However, the phone call can save valuable time.

Heck, I don't just call for dates. It's pretty common practice before a meeting for one of the parties to call up beforehand to make sure everyone's on the same page. Even if I'm just meeting up with my guy friends, usually one of us will call to let the others know they're on their way.

My boss calls or pages all of the different teams before meetings. Does that demonstrate low value?

 

[zekko]

Frankly I dont know what planet Zekko and Lexington are on with this one. Calling to confrim is GHEY - period. You can joust back and forth with all sorts of arguments as to why it is good to confirm a date - but mate, its GHEY. End of story.

Well. I guess that clears that up.

Wow that is one hell of an argument you put forth there. Calling to confirm a date is bad because it's "GHEY." They should definitely reserve a spot for you on the Harvard debate team.

:crackup:

Calling before a date to let the girl know you're heading out shouldn't have any effect on your perceived value. If it does, you already lost the girl long before that. You must not have a whole lot of value in her eyes if a simple phone call to make sure you're not wasting your time makes a difference.

You don't understand, Lex. It's not about value. It's "GHEY". That's what the problem is. Surely you can see that.

My boss calls or pages all of the different teams before meetings. Does that demonstrate low value?

Apparently it means your boss is "GHEY".