legolas
Master Don Juan
Pook, I seem to have trouble telling the difference between a sexualized male and a perv. I mean a perv is also sexualized, and subtle and wants to do "things" to the girl. Where do you draw the line?
Eliminate desire or not?
- Thread starter Krassus
- Start date
Eyecandie4ya
Senior Don Juan
Good post Pook!
My grandmother always told if you want to see something for what is really is just stand back and WATCH!
I didn't overstand this knowledge until now. A lot of things will answer themselves but people are so "caught up" that they don't recognize "reality" when they see it.
My grandmother always told if you want to see something for what is really is just stand back and WATCH!
I didn't overstand this knowledge until now. A lot of things will answer themselves but people are so "caught up" that they don't recognize "reality" when they see it.
I just finished a movie marathon of brilliant movies over the past three days. Saw Seabiscuit in theaters, and rented Dark City and About a Boy. All three, brilliant! I just noticed a common thread in all three movies: companionship. As the Hugh Grant character in About a Boy remarked, "Every man is an island". It would be pointless to belabor the plot details, but suffice to say all three movies involved loners, of assorted variety, finding their connections.
Now, point is...
The lust from a sexual man turns on women's lust. If she wants you and sees she sparks wild flames inside you, it will only turn her on as well. We, humans, are designed to connect and naturally nature would make union very straightforward.
Back a few months ago I'd get caught looking at women, not even staring but just looking, and I'd keep on looking with a smile; the reactions were startling to me. Lust turns on lust.
Way months ago, whenever I'd be dancing somewhere and some hot chick started grinding my front, I'd start gently 'thrusting' my erect self from behind. The ladies went crazy! They'd even kiss me. Lust turns on lust.
At my work, I have a number of female friends and a lots of female acquaintences, but for seven months I didn't go for any of them. Not a single woman. Except for a few, I even kept my eyes off of female customers. But recently, when it became apparent to ladies at work I was checking out women there and actively 'looking' for a woman, suddenly their lust erupted! Suddenly I began getting kino'ed a lot, suddenly the ladies started ganging up on me. Lust turns on lust.
Right now I have a thing heating up with a new girl at work, who I have high interest in. By sheer fact that I'm male, she knows I want sex with her. No denying it. Women know guys do not talk to them because of their 'wonderful personality'. Shortly after I met her, I had some trouble holding in my desire for her, and thus my interest hemmorhaged out. She knows quite well I want her. By the same token, however, I ignore her at times, and certainly show her there's more to my life than her. I focus on myself, not some convoluted 'hot and cold' game plan. Unlike guys who literally stop their world and chat with her, I keep on going my way.
So, I'm all hot for her when I'm talking to her, but by the same token I am "my own island".
The result?
She's doing all she can to get my interest. Constant (rather unwarranted, though flattering) compliments, proximity, kino, flirting, mirroring (language and body). She may even be using reverse social proof!
This from a woman who knows damn well I want her.
As for being desireless
I used to prescribe to hiding my desires (the misinterpreted desirelessness), until I realized I was only santizing myself. It didn't turn women on, they just felt safer, and nonetheless still wanted nothing to do with me, only at best considering me a boytoy to be quickly discarded. This was in the 'nonsexual realm'. Once I entered the sexual realm, with totally different results with desire, doing the same things as before that were without desire, I realized the err.
Now, point is...
The lust from a sexual man turns on women's lust. If she wants you and sees she sparks wild flames inside you, it will only turn her on as well. We, humans, are designed to connect and naturally nature would make union very straightforward.
Back a few months ago I'd get caught looking at women, not even staring but just looking, and I'd keep on looking with a smile; the reactions were startling to me. Lust turns on lust.
Way months ago, whenever I'd be dancing somewhere and some hot chick started grinding my front, I'd start gently 'thrusting' my erect self from behind. The ladies went crazy! They'd even kiss me. Lust turns on lust.
At my work, I have a number of female friends and a lots of female acquaintences, but for seven months I didn't go for any of them. Not a single woman. Except for a few, I even kept my eyes off of female customers. But recently, when it became apparent to ladies at work I was checking out women there and actively 'looking' for a woman, suddenly their lust erupted! Suddenly I began getting kino'ed a lot, suddenly the ladies started ganging up on me. Lust turns on lust.
Right now I have a thing heating up with a new girl at work, who I have high interest in. By sheer fact that I'm male, she knows I want sex with her. No denying it. Women know guys do not talk to them because of their 'wonderful personality'. Shortly after I met her, I had some trouble holding in my desire for her, and thus my interest hemmorhaged out. She knows quite well I want her. By the same token, however, I ignore her at times, and certainly show her there's more to my life than her. I focus on myself, not some convoluted 'hot and cold' game plan. Unlike guys who literally stop their world and chat with her, I keep on going my way.
So, I'm all hot for her when I'm talking to her, but by the same token I am "my own island".
The result?
She's doing all she can to get my interest. Constant (rather unwarranted, though flattering) compliments, proximity, kino, flirting, mirroring (language and body). She may even be using reverse social proof!
This from a woman who knows damn well I want her.
As for being desireless
I used to prescribe to hiding my desires (the misinterpreted desirelessness), until I realized I was only santizing myself. It didn't turn women on, they just felt safer, and nonetheless still wanted nothing to do with me, only at best considering me a boytoy to be quickly discarded. This was in the 'nonsexual realm'. Once I entered the sexual realm, with totally different results with desire, doing the same things as before that were without desire, I realized the err.
LOSERS cannot control their lust or their behaviors. MEN however can.
The line is drawn on control. You want to CONTROL it rather than it controlling YOU. A pervert is a loser. A guy who defines his life by how many women he gets is a loser. Anything where the guy is being controlled rather than controlling himself is a LOSER.
See that NICE GUY whipped by that girl? LOSER.
See that pervert constantly STARING at the chicks and making them uncomfortabel since he can't control it? LOSER.
Both these guys are losers. Both cannot control their sexuality (The nice guy is so scared what others think that he hides it and becomes androgenous).
This is a great exercise for Nice Guys. I want you to go to a town or city or place far far away from your hometown. Go there and DO THE THINGS YOU'VE DESIRED. I'm serious, just go all out. Don't think of 'Don Juan' strategies or player strategies or anything. Just go out there and do WHAT YOU WANT.
No one there knows you. You will leave and they will never see you again.
To those who do this, I bet you will be SHOCKED at the positive reactions you'll recieve.
Eyecandie4ya
Senior Don Juan
This is soooo true!
I did this same thing last year at Daytona during spring break and man I was off the chain! I pull three women who did not know each other within two minutes between dancing with all of them at the same time(The Hennesey boost the confidence a little bit). But nevertheless I found out some things before I knew about this site that really works when you apply the mentality of " I 'm going to have fun no matter what".
This is interesting Pook pulled this kino after becoming more sexual thing up.
I dont think kino ever hurts. Of course some women might take it as a come on, but that isnt a bad thing, you do want her...
What other idea's have you dropped as you progressed through your change?
I dont think kino ever hurts. Of course some women might take it as a come on, but that isnt a bad thing, you do want her...
What other idea's have you dropped as you progressed through your change?
Oxide,
I haven't 'dropped' any ideas.
Do you go around humping chicks? "Hi, my name is Oxide! *Hump hump*" Of course you don't because you would be TOO OBVIOUS and TOO INTERESTED in the chick. The chick would think you are a creep but a LOSER nonetheless.
Now imagine a Nice Guy just going up and humping a chick.
It's funny to imagine it because it would be funny if it happened. If I saw a Nice Guy do that, I would just LAUGH. He could get away with it.
If I start getting all touchy feely at first now, it worsens my results. It's at this point now: a chick was on the phone and caught me looking at her. Her eyes widened and she fell back to the wall with a shocked beaming face. Another time, it happened again and the chick got all touchy feely with me and I never touched her or spoke to her. I tried an experiement with this one chick who I thought was very cute. When I said something to her, I let my own emotions flow, almost as if I was transmitting it through my eyes. Apparently she picked up on it, and kept on checking me out (staring at my face) all throughout the rest of class.
Now if I kinoed... good lord no. What am I doing now? I don't know. I do know that women are much more perceptive then men. They will read your eyes, your voice, your body language far far beyond a guy's capabilities. Basically, if I feel something, they feel it.
I haven't 'dropped' any ideas.
Do you go around humping chicks? "Hi, my name is Oxide! *Hump hump*" Of course you don't because you would be TOO OBVIOUS and TOO INTERESTED in the chick. The chick would think you are a creep but a LOSER nonetheless.
Now imagine a Nice Guy just going up and humping a chick.
It's funny to imagine it because it would be funny if it happened. If I saw a Nice Guy do that, I would just LAUGH. He could get away with it.
If I start getting all touchy feely at first now, it worsens my results. It's at this point now: a chick was on the phone and caught me looking at her. Her eyes widened and she fell back to the wall with a shocked beaming face. Another time, it happened again and the chick got all touchy feely with me and I never touched her or spoke to her. I tried an experiement with this one chick who I thought was very cute. When I said something to her, I let my own emotions flow, almost as if I was transmitting it through my eyes. Apparently she picked up on it, and kept on checking me out (staring at my face) all throughout the rest of class.
Now if I kinoed... good lord no. What am I doing now? I don't know. I do know that women are much more perceptive then men. They will read your eyes, your voice, your body language far far beyond a guy's capabilities. Basically, if I feel something, they feel it.
One problem I'm beginning to experience is women creating interest out of thin air. One woman I know is infatuated with me, and one little comment of mine sent her through the roof, misreading the comment to mean that I was somehow interested in her. I made that one little comment and she was then quite literally all over me. Crap! Give them one inch and sometimes they'll take a mile.
And then there was a 40-something married woman who was obsessed with me. I never even talked to her. But, this was a long time ago.
And then there was one woman who I had brushed up against her shirt. Not her skin, her shirt. And for some weeks she gave me heavy kino. I never returned the kino because her regular touching saturated any desire for me to touch her, and she eventually stopped.
At any rate, for me now it's a moot point whether or not to 'express desire' in chicks I want. Lust turns on lust. Being in the center of male lust all their youthful lives, they are masters of picking up interest. And when they start fantasizing about you, they can misread into things which aren't even there. In other words, they become AFCs.
And then there was a 40-something married woman who was obsessed with me. I never even talked to her. But, this was a long time ago.
And then there was one woman who I had brushed up against her shirt. Not her skin, her shirt. And for some weeks she gave me heavy kino. I never returned the kino because her regular touching saturated any desire for me to touch her, and she eventually stopped.
At any rate, for me now it's a moot point whether or not to 'express desire' in chicks I want. Lust turns on lust. Being in the center of male lust all their youthful lives, they are masters of picking up interest. And when they start fantasizing about you, they can misread into things which aren't even there. In other words, they become AFCs.
oh, dont u guys love girls that suddenly "fall in love with you" after 1 time seeing you.
and then they make your friends call you and ask you out for her.
Pook, you are exaggerating, we arent talking about HUMP HUMP, we are talking about massage's, about tickling, soft touches on her arm. Of course i am dealing with HS and college girls, so this could be different from the women u meet.
Generally, If u know the girl has high interest level, you dont need to use anything at all. She does all the work
and then they make your friends call you and ask you out for her.
Pook, you are exaggerating, we arent talking about HUMP HUMP, we are talking about massage's, about tickling, soft touches on her arm. Of course i am dealing with HS and college girls, so this could be different from the women u meet.
Generally, If u know the girl has high interest level, you dont need to use anything at all. She does all the work
iqqi
Master Don Juan
i think your grandma is a very wise woman. you can learn so much about people this way.
here is a secret about women. shhhh.
women do this because they are making you into their ideal perfect man in their minds. they are in no way in love with you (you already know this, that is why you have no respect for them back), they are in love with the image of you they have created in their mind. they have already fell in love with you, had major fights with you in which you cry and make love afterwards, and married you. you both are already 90 and happy together still, in her mind.
all women do this. all of them. i wonder if men do this too??? they all idealize a man they like, and usually have a hard time letting go of that image they have of you. isn't it interesting? but if you use your powers for darkness, you can so manipulate this info i just gave you...
Yes, men do this also.
Everyone does it one time or another. It is INFATUATION. It has to do with how you look, act, talk, etc.
Very strange stuff. One of the great mysterys of sexuality.
Funny thing, this happens for everyone. Some one out there is/would be infatuated with everyone. The trick IS to get the ones that you WANT to be infatuated with you.
The key is in how you act.
Looking back at my life, I have noticed:
If I act "brilliant" while disregarding convention, I will attract the smart, sweet girls. If I act crazy, and impulsive, I will attract the young, immature girls. If I act ****y, and dominant, I will attract the spunky, social girls. If I act repressed, and shy, I will attract the desperate or slutty girls. If I act strong, and unphased, I will attract the girly-girls. And so on, and so on.
You folks could probably look at your own lifes and figure the same things. It really does not have much to do with attractiveness, but personality. (To get pretty girls, just keep your standards high--yours and hers.)
Yes, infatuation plays a part to some extent in every sexual interaction. This is why you shouldn't "role play" because there are hot chicks for many different types of personalities. (Not all of them, of course, you can't play video games all day, and be a desperate slob!)
yeah, i admit to doing this to many girls myself. I would think she is perfect , and then get to know her better and kick myself in the nuts becuase she wasnt interested.
Now it is more like "i see the girl, i go for the girl, and i dont worry about what will happen in future."
, and then get to know her better and kick myself in the nuts becuase she wasnt interested. Now it is more like "i see the girl, i go for the girl, and i dont worry about what will happen in future."
DjDreamer
Master Don Juan
Nah, I was not being critical. Just being observant.
Women are not all the same so their is no one size fit all advice concerning obtaining admiration from a woman. When someone complains about the advice you give, you have to let them know your not guilty due to reasons of "no philosophy".
Back to Topic...
For everyone perplexed about being desireless when meeting women, here is some clarity...
Having fun is the way.
Thinking about delayed fun is the problem.
Psycho`Sexual
Don Juan
Well, not so mysterious.
hehe, if you read a few of my posts then you will automaticaly notice that I am sort of "advertising" my thread in the tips section, but oh well
The anima/animus is something all people have.
In men, its the anima, in females its the animus. It is an archetype of the opposite gender. It is how they see "man" or "woman" in general.
When they meet you, and get infatuated with you, they are inflated with their anima/animus archetype.
read my other thread for more details
Sexuality.
Sexuality isnt about acting out your desires, its about REALISING your desires, and ACCEPTING them as a part of yourself.
A pervert doesnt do this. A pervert only acts out his desires, often time not even realising what he is doing, far from "accepting" them.
A sexual person like Pook for example(if he doesnt mind me using him), has accepted himself. He knows he is a man, and as a man he knows he has a sexual drive.
He has accepted the womans sexuality, he knows she also has a sexual drive.
Desireless.
Now I will use me as an example, since I dont really know much about Pook.
I have accepted myself as a sexual being. And that is it. Period.
When I see a hot girl walk by, I dont get my sexuality aroused by HER. I was already fully sexual.
The man filled with desire, he gets his sexuality brought out by the woman, or so he thinks. And he associated sexuality with women, and has a desire to be sexual, and a desire to be with the woman.
He would be seen as "desperate."
I also like what dionyses(sorry spelling) said.
PS- I havent actually read the two threads written by Pook which were quoted, so if any of the things I said cant make sense without me reading those threads, please tell me.
DjDreamer
Master Don Juan
When a woman wishes to have sex with you, you exude sexuality. When you show your comfortable with expressing your sexuality (your nonfeminenness) you send the clear message of "I can satisfy a woman"...having that mentality is magnetic and only the impatient mix it with desperation...now if the sex is great but the personalities are uncompatable, the relationship is weak. The woman will then gravitate to mr confident bodybuilder with the right personality.
This is interesting, this idea of exuding manly sexuality in a non-ostentatious way. It may well be the way to go, rather than getting bogged down in all these tortuous "right thing to do" plans for every given scenario. It would appear, from reading Pook & others of like mind, that the right thing will almost always be done if one can calmly exude his sexuality, since appropriate actions will flow naturally and smoothly from the right attitude. I'm not yet sure I have managed to do this myself - time will tell - but has it worked, or is it working for others? And by working, I don't mean getting a nice flirty chat with a hot chick. I mean stealing her heart...
darwinian_sympathiser
Don Juan
This was actually resolved (to a certain extent) by Konrad Lorenz.
He showed that you could alter the sexual preference of ducks by imprinting them with him. When they hatched the first thing that saw was him, and later in life wherever he swam they followed, treating him as if he were their mother. In later life - unfortunately - they were sexually attracted to human
Human beings have some kind of imprinting and our parents have a lot to do with it as this honest poem of Phillip Larkin illustrates:
they fvck you up, your mum and dad,
they don't mean to, but they do,
they fill you with all the faults they had,
and add some extra, just for you
It was Dr Money who coined the term "love map", and it is this "map" that decides who we find sexually attractive - even if it is against better judgement on our part. I would call this Nature's cruel revenge but think of it this way: how does an animal evolve a system for recognition of members of the opposite sex to mate with? For if they did mated with the wrong species sterile offspring would result and that would be the end of that.
In fish it's mostly chemical pheromones, in mammals there just might be some kind of imprinting involved. Of course there are other genetic factors going to influence the outcome as well.
This infatuation is this imprinting mechanism that we had from early age kicking in. Hence the old adage:
You don't choose who you fancy
and there is no more honest truth than that.
Hmm..so much conflicting advice (especially regarding KINO) it's not funny!!
I AM A MAN - i have DESIRES i know WHAT I WANT and IM GOING TO GET IT! If it's not from her, then it will be some other lucky lady - it doesn't bother me! HER LOSS!
I also guess it depends what you are actually after from the chick. Do you want a LTR ? do you want a FB ? This would be the first question i would ask myself. Then look at her personality type, do you think she'd be the sexual type or more of a 'good girl' LTR before sex type chick.
I read somewhere (fastseduction.com?) that you should always look at women with desire, imagine what it would be like ****ing their brains out and get in the SEXUAL state before even inititiating conversation with them.
As for how you act, always be a challenge. Do NOT act needy / clingy. Seductive eye contact, closeness, soft touching....seduce her but never go over board. She has to earn it.
The thing that im confused about now however is KINO.
When to use it, when not 2 ? I have been experimenting with it lately - I tried using it on the first date and not on the 2nd, but it kinda backfired -http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=34832
When should you use KINO ;
When you first meet her and trying to close (fuk / number etc)
On a date ?
Only after she initiates it ?
I have always thought that it would be safer initiating Kino before kiss closing as it builds some serious rapport...
I guess it really depends on the situation and your own personality, what suits YOU. I am one of those people who definately agree that you should embrace your sexuality as you stated.
I AM A MAN - i have DESIRES i know WHAT I WANT and IM GOING TO GET IT! If it's not from her, then it will be some other lucky lady - it doesn't bother me! HER LOSS!
I also guess it depends what you are actually after from the chick. Do you want a LTR ? do you want a FB ? This would be the first question i would ask myself. Then look at her personality type, do you think she'd be the sexual type or more of a 'good girl' LTR before sex type chick.
I read somewhere (fastseduction.com?) that you should always look at women with desire, imagine what it would be like ****ing their brains out and get in the SEXUAL state before even inititiating conversation with them.
As for how you act, always be a challenge. Do NOT act needy / clingy. Seductive eye contact, closeness, soft touching....seduce her but never go over board. She has to earn it.
The thing that im confused about now however is KINO.
When to use it, when not 2 ? I have been experimenting with it lately - I tried using it on the first date and not on the 2nd, but it kinda backfired -http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=34832
When should you use KINO ;
When you first meet her and trying to close (fuk / number etc)
On a date ?
Only after she initiates it ?
I have always thought that it would be safer initiating Kino before kiss closing as it builds some serious rapport...