Dumped by main plate for NOT BEING AN AFC?

[Driggs]

If you want to throw her into a tailspin ask her if she's ever thought of having kids. Then leave it at that.

 

[DonGorgon]

you missed the sign of her dying interest and failed to dump her first.. next time don't make that mistake and you can convert her to an F buddy by dumping her first

 

[BraddH]

I think the following is going on:

The fact that you are reading this board and taking advice from these dudes, indicates that you believe there is some power in 'aloofness'/'dominance'/DJing. You think there is something awesome about suddenly pretending not to care about someone, or withdrawing into 'Mystery Man' mode, or disciplining someone like a child ("I found what you did to be disrespectful and unattractive.")

In the course of your relationship you became close to another human being. That person wanted to trust you with her future well-being and to share intimacy with you on the deepest level she could. When she realized how you feel about these things - e.g. that you have a "relationships-are-for-losers" frame which any random guy proposing can trigger, your "disrespect me and I'll vanish" frame, and various other indicators that you are not relationship material - when this came to light, she realized she had to do something to destroy the emotional bond you have. Hence her blatant disrespect. She realizes you can't be relied upon to build a secure committed future, as you view that as being possibly the mark of a loser.

She had no choice but to detonate your relationship. You have been dumped.

congrats bro! Another positive proof that the DJ principles work!!

What this hit says is absolutely right. That is why balance is the way. You have to be beyond love and hatred, not repress love and have hate left.

 

[BraddH]

I have to agree with this, though not the dismissive view of DJing. This example is not DJing or DJ principles.

Dgwizdal, you were dating a girl for eight months, and you even went to a wedding with her. So you were boyfriend and girlfriend. But you refer to her as "your main plate"? Because "girlfriend" is something you're not supposed to have, or what?

You threw her out of your car and told her to walk home or find someone else to go with, after having promised that you would be her ride back home. Because you were angry with her. That is childish.You don't use punishment in a relationship. If you are angry, you say so, but you don't start taking things away, using power to have it your way. That is the sign of low-class, idiot relationships. And you had promised to give her a ride. You shouldn't break your word.

Then you didn't talk to her for five weeks. So you didn't give the relationship any chance to heal. You made sure that the argument would be the last thing you thought of when you thought of each other, for weeks. For what, had she shot your dog? No, she got angry with you. Big deal.


And you also gave her hints that you were hooking up with other girls....

So why shouldn't she break up with you? You gave her no reason to stay. Did you expect her to come crawling back and say "Please forgive me for getting angry over something"? Is this how you are going to act any time there is an argument in a relationship?

But of course, you can always get a pat on the back for this. Much like feminists will always applaud a woman who divorces her husband, no matter what the reason. It doesn't help you grow by overcoming difficulties in the relationship, but it sure fits the ideology.

Absolutely. Anyone who disagrees with this one, deep down knows that this is tre. Just hiding behind a wall.

 

[Jariel]

It has nothing to do with being an AFC. She wanted a serious future, marriage and commitment and you made it pretty clear you don't want the same things. In fact, it sounds like you sneered at the idea, which obviously raised a lot of red flags for her.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys here have been brainwashed to think that committed relationships and marriage are weak and feminine, but it's not about what other guys think. Most guys who give advice here can't sustain relationships even when they try and in my own experience, a lot of the advice here is can be very destructive to relationships.

You need to stop following the crowd and ask yourself what it is that YOU want. If you want her as a committed girlfriend, drop the childish games and talk to her directly. If you just want to spin plates and play the field, then you have nothing to worry about by letting her go. There's nothing wrong with either choice, just as long as you're doing what's right for you.

 

[cordoncordon]

Jariel said it right before me but he is exactly right.

Look, it sounds as if she wants something more serious that could lead to marriage. It sounds as if that is not something you have any real plans to do.

Am I correct in that statement?



If so, do the right thing and just end things for good with her. It is not her fault she wants something more serious. Just as it is not your fault that you don't. It is just a situation of two people wanting different things. Rather than prolong the agony and stress for both of you, be the man in this situation and end it for good. You both will be better off in the long run.

 

[DonGorgon]

Jariel said it right before me but he is exactly right.

Look, it sounds as if she wants something more serious that could lead to marriage. It sounds as if that is not something you have any real plans to do.

Am I correct in that statement?



If so, do the right thing and just end things for good with her. It is not her fault she wants something more serious. Just as it is not your fault that you don't. It is just a situation of two people wanting different things. Rather than prolong the agony and stress for both of you, be the man in this situation and end it for good. You both will be better off in the long run.

NOW IS THE WORST TIME IN HISTORY FOR A MAN TO GET MARRIED.. DONT DO IT

 

[BraddH]

NOW IS THE WORST TIME IN HISTORY FOR A MAN TO GET MARRIED.. DONT DO IT

And why is that?

 

[VikingKing]

And why is that?

You have two red squares. Your either retarded, or a female. If you are a female, you must be like a 2, because even 4, 5 or 6's have somthing better to do.

Is your weight near 200 lbs?

Or your a homosexual. Or an over weight male. or both.

 

[betheman]

You have two red squares. Your either retarded, or a female. If you are a female, you must be like a 2, because even 4, 5 or 6's have somthing better to do.

Is your weight near 200 lbs?

Or your a homosexual. Or an over weight male. or both.

it is 100% troll and not a very good one

 

[Dgwizdal]

It has nothing to do with being an AFC. She wanted a serious future, marriage and commitment and you made it pretty clear you don't want the same things. In fact, it sounds like you sneered at the idea, which obviously raised a lot of red flags for her.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys here have been brainwashed to think that committed relationships and marriage are weak and feminine, but it's not about what other guys think. Most guys who give advice here can't sustain relationships even when they try and in my own experience, a lot of the advice here is can be very destructive to relationships.

You need to stop following the crowd and ask yourself what it is that YOU want. If you want her as a committed girlfriend, drop the childish games and talk to her directly. If you just want to spin plates and play the field, then you have nothing to worry about by letting her go. There's nothing wrong with either choice, just as long as you're doing what's right for you.

Jariel - Love your posts and respect your wisdom. You and Playherman are my favorites ha! Which is actually the apex of the situation with this girl...

Yes, you are right. The duration of our relationship has lacked rapport on my end significantly. I've done a few relationshipy things - but to simplify the frame of it all...

Her - staring at pictures of us in her bedroom texting me: "You're amazing, just so you know." Me - 30 minutes later: You're lucky to have me.

Push/pull, banter, indifference, "We're going out tonight, wear black" Her - Swoon. She would send her friends back to her house and come sleep with me to which I would give her the boot for abandoning them.

This has been my first non-phuck and chuck since taking the red pill 2 years ago. I told people that we're just having fun, I've sneered at the idea of marriage before when a comment was made about us (6 months in - she didn't like that.) And this whole time I've been doing everything to maintain attraction as THIS IS WHAT HAS WORKED WITH THEM ALL. Didn't even think I needed to do more.

It never really dawned on me that this chick was my girlfriend as I was living for the moment spinning plates on the side and having fun until about a month before it ended.

She never mentioned she wanted anything more from me but she is not the type of girl that would. In fact, the night before we saw her sister - she jumped in my arms, wrapped her legs around me, and ripped my clothes off and rode me to R. Kelly til I busted all in that where she proceeded to tell me "I could f*** you forever."

And then the tsar bomba marriage incident occurred the next day that probably confirmed all her buried "logical" doubts about my level of commitment to her that blew this thing up.

What is a possible lesson here? Attraction isn't everything? Emotional Rapport is absolutely necessary after clearly demonstrating you are of high value in order to maintain a relationship?

OR AM I THE MAN FOR NOT GETTING CHUMPED?

IM LETTING HER GO. Although I know I still have dominance over her and she is still attracted to me, It would be too soon to reestablish rapport on my end if I knew what I wanted in the first place. And it would have to be on my terms in order not to backslide CORRECT? Plus, my lack of f*cks given when she was breaking up with me probably only reiterated my lack of empathy to begin with. Lots of walls to break down. Although she is wifey material... Rich, tite body, hot face, and a down a** FUN chick. Bon Voyage. She'll be back once she gets WK'ed and disgusted.

Let us not hope for easier women but strive to be better men.

 

[BraddH]

You have two red squares. Your either retarded, or a female. If you are a female, you must be like a 2, because even 4, 5 or 6's have somthing better to do.

Is your weight near 200 lbs?

Or your a homosexual. Or an over weight male. or both.

Why is now the worst time to marry in history?

And be careful with your words. If you keep attacking people like that you will get banned. What do you know about my personal details? That is simply stupid to attack someone like that. Saying all sort of negative things about him that you don't even know is true. Now watch your mouth very carefully.. Imma talk with some moderator if they consider this attacking someone because I certainly think so and with absolutely no reason. Be careful!

 

[Jariel]

Jariel - Love your posts and respect your wisdom. You and Playherman are my favorites ha! Which is actually the apex of the situation with this girl...

Thanks man, I appreciate that. I'm still making mistakes, but I always try my best to learn from experience.

To be honest, I was in an almost identical situation to you about 5 years ago. I was with my girlfriend for 4 years and I always knew she wanted marriage and kids and a long term future with me, but even though I loved her, I just didn't see that future with her.

She was always convinced I would change my mind and I was convinced she'd just accept things for what they were and we could keep on having fun forever.

Whenever she'd bring up future plans or try to paint a picture of us living together, I'd make a joke about it or try to change the subject quickly.

One night my friends were talking about marriage and I made a comment right in front of her: "There's nothing in it for us men" and I saw how hurt she looked. I knew it was only a matter of time before we had to end things and go our separate ways.

Well the day came when she dumped me. She explained that she couldn't go on like this. She'd been secretly hoping I would change my mind and harbouring fantasies of our wedding day, and each time I made a joke or change the subject it really crushed her. It broke her heart to leave me, but she had come to the conclusion we wanted different things.

At first I was hurt, angry...well, the usual stuff you go through after a break up, but once that all settled, I actually felt relieved. She was right and had actually done us both a big favour.

I believe this is the same conclusion you will come to mate. It's so easy to throw blame at a woman during an argument or break up, and to demonize them as being manipulative, but you have to understand she's probably hurting and trying to protect her ego. In this case, neither of you are bad people, you just want different things and you need to go through this in order to move forward.

She never mentioned she wanted anything more from me but she is not the type of girl that would. In fact, the night before we saw her sister - she jumped in my arms, wrapped her legs around me, and ripped my clothes off and rode me to R. Kelly til I busted all in that where she proceeded to tell me "I could f*** you forever."

And then the tsar bomba marriage incident occurred the next day that probably confirmed all her buried "logical" doubts about my level of commitment to her that blew this thing up.

This all sounds so familiar. My ex behaved the same way, all about the sex and passion and fun, but the more of our friends started moving in together, getting engaged, the more she started wanting the same.

You also have to remember that women get broody and get strong maternal instincts kick in. This is pretty powerful stuff from what I understand and can cause a woman's entire life goals and perspective to change almost overnight.

What is a possible lesson here? Attraction isn't everything? Emotional Rapport is absolutely necessary after clearly demonstrating you are of high value in order to maintain a relationship?

I think in this case you just need to take it at its simplest form. It's nothing to do with you, with attraction or with game...you just want different things for the future.

Give it a month or two and you'll thank her for it.

 

[TheCWord]

Why is now the worst time to marry in history?

And be careful with your words. If you keep attacking people like that you will get banned. What do you know about my personal details? That is simply stupid to attack someone like that. Saying all sort of negative things about him that you don't even know is true. Now watch your mouth very carefully.. Imma talk with some moderator if they consider this attacking someone because I certainly think so and with absolutely no reason. Be careful!

Snitches get stitches.

 

[JoeMarron]

Jariel - Love your posts and respect your wisdom. You and Playherman are my favorites ha! Which is actually the apex of the situation with this girl...

Yes, you are right. The duration of our relationship has lacked rapport on my end significantly. I've done a few relationshipy things - but to simplify the frame of it all...

Her - staring at pictures of us in her bedroom texting me: "You're amazing, just so you know." Me - 30 minutes later: You're lucky to have me.

Push/pull, banter, indifference, "We're going out tonight, wear black" Her - Swoon. She would send her friends back to her house and come sleep with me to which I would give her the boot for abandoning them.

This has been my first non-phuck and chuck since taking the red pill 2 years ago. I told people that we're just having fun, I've sneered at the idea of marriage before when a comment was made about us (6 months in - she didn't like that.) And this whole time I've been doing everything to maintain attraction as THIS IS WHAT HAS WORKED WITH THEM ALL. Didn't even think I needed to do more.

It never really dawned on me that this chick was my girlfriend as I was living for the moment spinning plates on the side and having fun until about a month before it ended.

She never mentioned she wanted anything more from me but she is not the type of girl that would. In fact, the night before we saw her sister - she jumped in my arms, wrapped her legs around me, and ripped my clothes off and rode me to R. Kelly til I busted all in that where she proceeded to tell me "I could f*** you forever."

And then the tsar bomba marriage incident occurred the next day that probably confirmed all her buried "logical" doubts about my level of commitment to her that blew this thing up.

What is a possible lesson here? Attraction isn't everything? Emotional Rapport is absolutely necessary after clearly demonstrating you are of high value in order to maintain a relationship?

OR AM I THE MAN FOR NOT GETTING CHUMPED?

IM LETTING HER GO. Although I know I still have dominance over her and she is still attracted to me, It would be too soon to reestablish rapport on my end if I knew what I wanted in the first place. And it would have to be on my terms in order not to backslide CORRECT? Plus, my lack of f*cks given when she was breaking up with me probably only reiterated my lack of empathy to begin with. Lots of walls to break down. Although she is wifey material... Rich, tite body, hot face, and a down a** FUN chick. Bon Voyage. She'll be back once she gets WK'ed and disgusted.

Let us not hope for easier women but strive to be better men.

Hah you sir should never be in a monogamous relationship. You're the type of man that should always have a harem of women and maybe 1 who you're closer with emotionally than the others. When one chick starts acting silly you throw her out of the rotation and get a new chick. When your main chick starts giving you sh!t downgrade her and upgrade another one. Your hardcore alpha mindset just isn't going to cut it when it comes to sticking with one woman. It's only going to result in hurt feelings on the woman's end and frustration on yours. Be honest with yourself and with women and don't bother committing to them anymore unless your mindset changes.

 

[PlayHer Man]

ALL MEN need to remember there are female DJ's too. Women use wisdom, experience, chit-chat and mind games to gain power over men.

If a woman is determined to win the game and you refuse to allow her to win.. she might decide to NEXT you. Just like we DJ's will NEXT a woman for not conforming to our terms... many women will do the same.

In most cases.. when women realize they will never WIN the game with you.. they simply choose not to play anymore. You should be 100% comfortable with this.

This is why I always say:

- Always care LESS than the woman
- NEVER fear losing a woman.. ANY woman.

If you can follow those two rules.. women will rarely throw you off balance.

 

[VladPatton]

ALL MEN need to remember there are female DJ's too. Women use wisdom, experience, chit-chat and mind games to gain power over men.

If a woman is determined to win the game and you refuse to allow her to win.. she might decide to NEXT you. Just like we DJ's will NEXT a woman for not conforming to our terms... many women will do the same.

In most cases.. when women realize they will never WIN the game with you.. they simply choose not to play anymore. You should be 100% comfortable with this.

This is why I always say:

- Always care LESS than the woman
- NEVER fear losing a woman.. ANY woman.

If you can follow those two rules.. women will rarely throw you off balance.

Absolutely. You can 110% be dumped for being a DJ. Once they see shıt won't fly with you you'll be disposed of, and you MUST realize this. All byproducts of feminism.

 

[BraddH]

Snitches get stitches.

Certainly. A moderator just considered it as attacking and is talking with owner about it. Just to warn the language people use here.

By the way, want to see my ****?

 

[TheCWord]

Certainly. A moderator just considered it as attacking and is talking with owner about it. Just to warn the language people use here.

By the way, want to see my ****?

Hopefully one day you'll be able to conduct yourself like a big boy, fight your own battles, and develop a much thicker skin. These things will help you with women as well.

 

[VikingKing]

ALL MEN need to remember there are female DJ's too. Women use wisdom, experience, chit-chat and mind games to gain power over men.

If a woman is determined to win the game and you refuse to allow her to win.. she might decide to NEXT you. Just like we DJ's will NEXT a woman for not conforming to our terms... many women will do the same.

In most cases.. when women realize they will never WIN the game with you.. they simply choose not to play anymore. You should be 100% comfortable with this.

This is why I always say:

- Always care LESS than the woman
- NEVER fear losing a woman.. ANY woman.

If you can follow those two rules.. women will rarely throw you off balance.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PlayHer Man again.