dude...waht the FVCK is wrong with me!!!!!!

[Last Man Standing]

BB, I also have no problems being single - not because I'm busy focusing on a goal but because I am a principled man and refuse to be downgraded to a lesser level for temporary company.

My post was not meant to mean that you need to always be with a woman but that a woman is our complementary whole that strengthens us through her femininity. We long not just for her physical presence but her spirit as well! It is this spirit embodied in her femininity that we really desire more so than her physical body, since her spirit will always be the same whilst her flesh decays!

 

[backbreaker]

1. who said I was talking about your post?

2. i just want to bred horses.. that's it. breed horses, bet on and talk horses. if a woman can honeslty come along for the ride and bring to it.. so be it. I'm not defarmed, deranged, crazy, broken, whatever word you wanna use.. I just have a dream that i'm following.. nothing more nothing less

 

[ValleyDJing]

Testing testing...Is this thing on?!

 

[cordoncordon]

But BB I don't get it. Here you have a woman who is in the very industry that you are striving to become a player in. Someone who you really like and who just 2-3 weeks ago was giving a second chance over her drug use when many men, including me, would not have. A woman who could not only be there for you in a gf/bf way, but who could actually assist you in achieving your dreams in horse racing. No one said that you have to marry this girl or spend every freaking day with her. Hell, just see her once a week or so and keep it casual for all I care. That's not gonna stop you from achieving your dreams. But it really seems like you have "talked" yourself into this course of action beforehand and that now you are just looking for validation from the board. Is there something else here you are not telling us? Are you just not that into her? I told you I worked EVERY DAY 15 hours a day with NO VACATIONS while I owned/trained race horses for 18 years and I had time to have gf's and go on dates. You are going to way to much of an extreme here.

BB this may seem like I am harping on you but I'm really not. But....you're acting like an azzz to some on here who are only trying to help. You seem to always want to put on this tough guy..I don't care persona. And you do seem to really change your mind a lot as far as what you want from week to week. You go from one extreme to the other it seems on a lot of topics. You also seem to get yourself worked up over things that just aren't worth worrying about. You also seem unhappy and need I say...hostile in general? You seem like a smart guy who has some real goals and dreams in life, and I admire that, but not everyone is out to get you, but you are definitely putting out that vibe.

In the meantime good luck with your goals and aspirations in horse racing. It can be a wonderfully fullfilling sport, hobby, and career to get into.

 

[backbreaker]

notice how my thread isn't called "what do I do", it's "what's wrong with me"

I'm not asking for advice, yet everyone wants to give it. I just want to know if I'm freakin sane for wanting to drop a woman that has done nothing wrong.

I'm not asking for advice, I've been down this road before. I know what makes me tick better than anyone else possibly could.

and yes while she can add some positives to my life an di do care about her alot, ti's offset by the amount of time any relationship will take. then,and this is every woman, when I'm away and the days I do see her are filled with "why don't you come around m ore" and "blah blah blah" and hatred of me because I won't "settle"... as much as I like her we are at two different stages of life that much I understand. I'm enjoying the time we spend, more than likely she's counting her eggs and looking at that clock. will she have a problem finding a man? I doubt it, she's a catch... but men like me don't come along every day.. most guys would be a considerable downgrade.


this has little to do with horse racing and everything to do with my goals. I could not live with my self knowing I didn't do everything in my power to achieve my goals. I will be miserable and sick if 10 years from now i'm not where I want to be.

you're acting like an azzz to some on here who are only trying to help.

see that's where you are wrong. I never asked for HELP or SHOULD I LEAVE HER. yet everyone is harping on what i should do. I laid a situtation out there and I'm basically.. am I normal. I see now i'm not.

not to brag, but I've accomplished a hell of alot more than most people here. I'm not going to ask for real life advice to people who arent in my shoes and wou ldn't even know what they looked like. if htat's being an ass i'm an ass.. but I'm not going to let a fat 35 year old (not you, just in general) or a 20 year old geek who doesn't know what a woman looks like dicate my life.

ou seem to always want to put on this tough guy..I don't care persona.

stop trying to analyze. that's the sites problem now. you can't post anything without getting 10-20 differnet' "sit in my armchair doctors chair" post.

is it really THAT hard to understand that my goals make me happier than a woman does? And she's GREAT. however my goals and dreams are GREATER. that's not up for diccussion.

ou also seem unhappy and need I say...hostile in general?

well it pisses me off because well... some guys would actually take what some of these airmchair guys are saying literarly. would you be pissed if you asekd is something normal and you get advice for something from 20 different people you didn't even want advice for?

it's like going in and getting a massage because your back hurts and having the massause and everyone else in the parlor tell you that you need to loose weight.. okay but that's not why i'm here.. I"m here because I want a damn massage.

 

[cordoncordon]

LOL I do understand where you are coming from BB. And if it's true that you feel she is at that settling down stage ( I didn't know this before) and you are far far from it, then yeah I agree with the move of splitting up and not taking anything to a higher level with her.

I would just make sure that you ask yourself is she someone who can help you further your career horse racing goals, and could add to them while at the same time contributing to your life personally? Or is she just another girl? If you feel that she could help out with your career aspirations, maybe just a slowdown in the relationship would suffice, and not a total breakup.

It's funny because right now my gf out in CA has two friends who are going through similar things with their bf's. Both women met the men about 2 months ago, and spent pretty much every day with them. I kept telling my gf that it would never work. No one can spend that much time around one another that quickly in a relationship. It's not healthy. And sure enough, both men in the past two weeks have begun to pull away and want their own space back, much to the women's dismay. I know personally when I first start to date someone, if i see them 2, 3 times a week tops, that is more than enough for me. More than that and I get sick of them pretty damn quick. Now, after 6 months or so and our relationship is stronger and more mature? I up the level that I see them.

Maybe like I said you just need to slow things down. Best of luck.

 

[cordoncordon]

BTW BB I will be coming back out to Santa Monica next week for 12 days if you wanna hang out at the track sometime.

 

[backbreaker]

i see her enough... lol, she recently quit working for her trainer because of a dispute of medicating a horse and she has taken some of his clients with her and is going ot train her self, but nevertheless while the del mar meet is going on she basically stayed with me as I live within somewhat walking distance of the track.. it's a long walk but you can do it.. 4-5 mintue drive. she LIVES in Arcadia. the meet is over and I have kicked her out

with that said.. besides the coke insident, she's done nothing wrong. she's curtious of my house, she's resepctful, she cooks when she's here, she gives me my space when she knows I"m working.

Idont' know.. since she is training now I'm considering giving her a shot... that in itself can break a relationship up "oh you can **** me but I am not good enough to train for you?".. and she's trained before on her own in Canada.. she's pretty good.. hovered around 27 percent. can't ask for more than that. but still.. that line is as clear as day.

you are a trainer, you know what the hours are like. that in itself is hell for me. **** when I am going to sleep she's off to work. what normal person goes to bed at 7pm? 6-7 days a week. god bless her she tries, she will stay up to 9ish to talk to me because she knows well.. her schedule is wacky

all that said, it's not HER i have a problem with... it's that when it comes to my goals i take no chances.

with that said, I have to catch a plane in about 5 hours to Kentucky (keeleland... I'm not buying anything probably the first 3 days of the sale as they are all commerical high priced yearlings, but it's still fun to watch... however I'm drooling over HIP 7 the AP indy yearling, if he looks anything like his pedigree says he should, he might be your sales topper. that or Broadway Ticket, who is Street Sense's half brother by Distored Humor.. I doubt I buy anything because I want 100% control over everythihng meaning I want to bred myself, controlt he broodies, everything.. but there are a couple that if the price is right I will put the trigger. however what I'm really waiting on is the mixed sales.

anyway my point is... i'm going to enjoy the trip (with her) and we wll see how it goes.

 

[logic1]

notice how my thread isn't called "what do I do", it's "what's wrong with me"

I dont know what answer you are looking for but I think a few posters have gave their opinion on whats wrong with you.

In my opinion you should read Victory Unlimited " Premature Evacuation". I think this is the 3rd time I mentioned this. This tells you what is wrong with you. Its not a bad thing its just you are wired to spin plates in your life and not settle down. Some people are just the opposite. Really there is nothing wrong with you unless you have the desire to find a ltr or a possible women to make a life with.

If it is the latter you do have a problem because you make excuses of why it can't be.

There are people like that in the world, it all has to do with your pyscological makeup. Many, many people never settle in their life but want too. Their insides wont allow them for some reason only you know what that is. I think you are one of them. It is explained in different ways, but VU's does a good job without all the pysco babble.

Good luck

 

[backbreaker]

i'm on my way to keeneland and then I'm hoping a plane to Melborune... if I can get you out next month that would be GREAT.

 

[backbreaker]

I dont know what answer you are looking for but I think a few posters have gave their opinion on whats wrong with you.

In my opinion you should read Victory Unlimited " Premature Evacuation". I think this is the 3rd time I mentioned this. This tells you what is wrong with you. Its not a bad thing its just you are wired to spin plates in your life and not settle down. Some people are just the opposite. Really there is nothing wrong with you unless you have the desire to find a ltr or a possible women to make a life with.

If it is the latter you do have a problem because you make excuses of why it can't be.

There are people like that in the world, it all has to do with your pyscological makeup. Many, many people never settle in their life but want too. Their insides wont allow them for some reason only you know what that is. I think you are one of them. It is explained in different ways, but VU's does a good job without all the pysco babble.

Good luck

i'll go over it, i just don't have time right now.. I have to pack and make it to LAX by 4

 

[cordoncordon]

K well have a great time on your trip. I'll be in Santa Monica from the 13th through the 24th of Sept. so let me know.

 

[cordoncordon]

By the way I wanted to add you have no idea how lucky the T Bred trainers have it. They get to race during the day. Most harness racing happens at night. So we train them all day, then ship the horses to the track at night, race, and get back at midnight or later. Then start over the next day. Brutal.

 

[backbreaker]

i know mountineer and charles town do that, it seems pretty bad.

at hollywood park my GF hate's fridays because racing doesn't start utnil 7:05 at night. doesn't end to about 11:30ish

 

[Charm]

backbreaker,

As you know I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I felt was too clingy and needy and creating drama that was taking away my emotional energy and focus from my other goals. I sympathize with your situation and while I did break up with my girl I do net necessarily advise you to do the same. There were other factors involved in my case like secrets she had kept until after we were going out that hampered on my conscious mind as well as drama from her roommates, friends and life managing skills that began to burden my flow. I ended things because she was not compatible with my lifestyle, she tried to bend me to her way and sought dominance over me because that was her personality. It was push vs push more often than push pull and it was not fun.

If you are having fun with your woman and enjoying her company, you need to clearly address things to her in terms of your goals and how she can better support you. You need to clearly understand in your mind how she is hampering your goals so that you can communicate it with her in the right way.

Best of luck brother backbreaker!

 

[Charm]

Oh, in response to the people who say we are wired to either be the plate spinning types or the settling down types, I call "belief system rubbish". If you buy into that belief, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Perhaps this is not the woman for you or perhaps this is not the time in your life for you to be exhausting this much energy on your LTR. I think from my experience you may simply not have your boundaries clearly set so she essentially takes more of your time then you'd like her to and perhaps you are afraid that putting up boundaries will ruin things between you two?