dude...waht the FVCK is wrong with me!!!!!!

[backbreaker]

AS you know.. I have a GF. She's Great. not 1 complaint. she even cleaned up the whole drug issue, havne't had one problem out of her. she's independant, confident, sexy as ****, great in bed.. I can go on and on.

and No I didn't cheat on her nor would I, although I think her Best friend wants my **** in the worst way....

Even though she has done NOTHING wrong.. I'm thinking about leaving her. Seriously. Why? Becuase she is taking time away from my achieving my goals. no other reason. I like her. i want to spend time with her all the time.. relationships need watering. i look at it like any time I spend with her is time I"m not putting towards achieving my goals and I'm getting sidetraked

needless to say.. if I leave her, I'm done with woman for awhile.

But at the same time.. woman wise she's the best I've ever had. no complaints.. but I want to chase my dreams and achieve my goals of starting my horse racing stable and stallion farm, and there aren't enough hours in the day for both or so it seems.

help!!!

 

[KontrollerX]

LOL, backy b sounds like you need to learn to multitask my man.

You've been great at continuous self improvement thus far.

Just look at learning this new skill as another challenge lol.

 

[Last Man Standing]

BB, you'll know when you are ready to settle when you find a woman who is more interesting and fulfilling then your horses!
Check out this site.. http://equestriansingles.com/

From what you stated, your girl is just the next hor in line -- absolutely nothing special in her character that is worthy of attention/single mindedness!!!

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo BackBreaker,


"If" this chick is really worthy of standing next to you in an exclusive LTR, and you have sampled enough women to know what you're looking for and what you're NOT, then you may want to consider working harder at budgeting your time.

If she's as good a girl as you believe she is, I'm sure she will understand you cutting back some of the time you spend with her in order to obtain your goals. Notice, I didn't say "cutting OUT" your time with her, but simply "cutting back".

It may be quite possible for you to continue acheiving your goals while still keeping a great girl around at the same time. Whatever you do, try not to make your final decision about this in "hastiness" because of restlessness or a passing mood swing.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=116593

Committing Premature Evacuation

These types of reckless recruiters are the strangest and saddest of all. These are men who actually know who they are and what they want. Their Achilles heel is exposed only AFTER they have actually found a woman who may be of good quality. These men say all the right things and make all the right moves, but when they finally have the heart of their ideal woman in site, they fail to pull the trigger.

These men are skilled in the deadly art of self-sabotage. What they experience is the male version of last minute resistance. Except, unlike women, following through with sex is not the problem, but following through with establishing a meaningful, emotional, and spiritual connection with a woman IS.

On the verge of allowing themselves to become truly intimate with a woman, they allow their minds to be bombarded by the plethora of negative voices that they've heard in the past. They let things like their age, their financial situation, their past, their hormones, their fears, their friends, and embittered posters on seduction forums STOP them from taking that one more step that COULD make a positive difference in their lives.

And even when they fight bravely through those forces of resistance, another even more formidable adversary to their embarking into emotional exclusivity with a woman emerges----their CRITICAL MINDS gone wild. Yes, soldiers, this is when these hapless men drive themselves delusional by trying to force the women in their lives to SUDDENLY meet a level of perfection that even they THEMSELVES routinely fall far short of.

Over and over again, they dissect every physical attribute and scrutinize every less-than-perfect aspect of their women until they have finally managed to successfully NITPICK themselves OUT of a good quality woman. And they do this in order to DISQUALIFY the women at the eleventh hour, right before the completion of their mission, so they can continue to fight this war without end.

In their constant subconscious quest for the "PERFECT" one, they have once again let a "GOOD" one slip through their fingers. They prematurely evacuate from exclusive relationship territory before they've given themselves a chance to be COMFORTABLE with what a healthy relationship ACTUALLY feels like.

March on.

 

[azanon]

If she's not enhancing your life and goals, then somethings amiss with the relationship. After I got married, I went from mostly a B student to an A student. I became more focused, more driven, and my wife was my foundation for my ups and downs.

Maybe it's not you. I AM old fashion enough to think that she should support you in every way, not the other way around. A woman is a suppliment to a man, not the other way around. That is the natural order of things.

 

[Last Man Standing]

A woman is a suppliment to a man, not the other way around. That is the natural order of things.

I damn near fell off my chair when I read this statement - was it from your hand? Women are always submissive to the man's nature -- she has a choice to be with her husband, the man, at least in America, so she must choose wisely - otherwise it will be a miserable life for her!!

 

[backbreaker]

It's not that I dont' know how to manage a woman and my life at the same time... 5 months ago i was spinning 3 plates.

but I need to rev up my dedication to my goals if I am going to achieve them and not just talk out the side of my mouth. I have a website I'm lanunching in the next 2 months and I need to come up with about 2k pages of content. I need to figure out what I like bloodline wise and what I don't like. I need to hit the races more to make more money. there is a house on the ocean I want that honestly.. right now I can't pay cash for if I wanted to and it's pissing me off that i cant get what i want.

it's like I need to refocus

 

[backbreaker]

BB, you'll know when you are ready to settle when you find a woman who is more interesting and fulfilling then your horses!
Check out this site.. http://equestriansingles.com/

From what you stated, your girl is just the next hor in line -- absolutely nothing special in her character that is worthy of attention/single mindedness!!!

well.. actually she's VERY special... bersides if you count she's not a virgin, she speaks 2 lanaguages, has a college degree, can jog 10 miles right now like it's nothing, can cook, she's into horses.. great hummers...cna't complain.

It's not her.. it's women

and nothing will ever take the place of horses

 

[backbreaker]

i think more than anything I"m not happy with the course of action i'm taking in life.. I 've done very well.. but I'm not happy and I'm not going to be happy until I at the very least. get my stable up and running, get my site up and running and get this damn house that I'm nutting about every day when I pass it.

maybe scale back?

 

[Last Man Standing]

You are focused on a material objective and all else is, not necessarily irrelevant, but not as important! So focus on your goal -- but don't be blinded and look at THE goal beyond that!!!! What is that ultimate goal? How about if this ultimate goal is at your reach but you ignore it for the lesser material goal of the house on the beach? Are you really focused?

 

[Last Man Standing]

BB, what is wrong with you, you ask? Here is the answer, your goal is the attainment of a material object(s), which includes hors, and nothing higher!!

 

[Bible_Belt]

You said a couple of weeks ago that she introduced you to someone important in horse racing.

 

[backbreaker]

she did. I mean I know if I had to choose a woman, she's IT. but it's not here or another woman.. it's her or becoming amonk and buckling down to get my goals

 

[KontrollerX]

Hmmm backbreaker assuming you dropped the girl and thus had no distractions whatsoever do you have an estimated timeframe for how long it will take you to reach your goals?

 

[Phyzzle]

Be careful not to get some idea in your head of telling her to back off, spending zero time with her, then after a year saying "okay, now I'm ready."

Guys, including ones on this board, have tried that, and have made an unpleasant discovery: if this woman is in her 30's, and you drop her now, she could easily be married to someone else by June.

 

[cordoncordon]

BB before you go headfirst into buying an entire stable and stud farm, why don't you start off buying ONE race horse, giving him to your gf to train, and you go to the barn everyday with her to help train the horse? As you may remember, I used to own/train race horses, at one point I had 25 or so, but I always had at least 10-15 under my care. I didn't just start out with 15 horses. I bought one, saw how that went, bought another, kept going from there.

I don't know how much you know as far as caring for race horses (types of feed, hoof/shoe care, equipment, proper nutritional supplements, conditioning, pre racing, how to classify your horse as far as types of races to enter, etc etc etc), but it's not something that you are going to just learn overnight. Plus, getting into this business is a FULLTIME job. I mean EVERY DAY...15 hours a day. I used to train my horses from 9-5, go home for an hour, go back to the barn, ship my horses to the racetrack to race, race them, care for them post race, ship them back home, and start over the next day. They are like kids, they constantly need to be looked over and watched and cared for. No days off.

I think you could combine the best of both worlds if you wanted to. Get a horse, give her to your gf to train, go with her every day and learn the in's and out's of training and caring for a horse. That way you could spend time with her AND learn. I used to have a gf that helped me out at the barn every day. Would clean stalls, jog horses, do them up, help feed, etc.

As for the gambling aspect, again you are talking to a guy that has bet on the horses since I was 16. I've had hits of $11,000, $21,000, $7,000 etc etc on superfectas and other bets. But I'm realistic. I just don't see how you can expect to make a consistent living betting on the ponies. To try and do that fulltime and make a living is imo not gonna happen. Though ya never know.

Dude I've been in this business for 20 years, don't be afraid to ask me questions and use the resources at your disposal.

Btw my name here, cordoncordon, is from a racehorse in Michigan. An open pacer. Very fast horse back in the early 90's. Used to bet him alllllllll the time, and he came through for me more than once .

 

[mintxx]

work out how much she's delaying you and see if it's more than the time it'll take you to find another one like her

 

[squirrels]

Don't mind Last Man Standing. He's a clown.

What you're describing sounds like a tough situation. I'd hate to see any man abandon his dreams for a woman, because once you do, you're always going to wonder.

If she's REALLY the girl for you, she'll support your ambitions and not compete with them. Meaning you should tell her what you want to do and she should be willing to stay with you and support you and take what affection you DO have to give instead of demanding all your attention for herself.

If she doesn't...well, really nothing against her. Some women need more attention than others. But that would mean she's not really "the one".

It's YOUR life. See if she's willing to be a part of your life the way YOU decide to run it, not the way SHE would prefer it. That's the true test of whether a woman is long-term material.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I'm thinking about leaving her. Seriously. Why? Becuase she is taking time away from my achieving my goals. no other reason. I like her. i want to spend time with her all the time.. relationships need watering. i look at it like any time I spend with her is time I"m not putting towards achieving my goals and I'm getting sidetraked

NEXT.

It's posts like this that separate the scarcity mentality AFCs from the DJs who put themselves ahead of the 'sure thing' supply of sex. No woman's vagina is EVER worth sacrificing your personal ambitions for. Even the most ideal woman is a dream-killer. Not because they have a malicious agenda to bring you low, but more because you will voluntarily self-limit your drive in order to maintain that 'sure thing'. The common idea is that if a girl is "high quality" she'll be supportive of you in your ambitions, but the harsh truth is that even the most supportive woman still comes with liabilities that are intrinsic in an LTR for which will a guy will compromise his ambitions on his own without her having ANY intentional influence over it. He becomes his own worst enemy because his very consideration for his LTR, as well meaning as it is, will always be a factor in assessing his own ambitions and drive to achieve them.

 

[logic1]

I think Victory Unlimited has it right with his Premature Evacuation qoute.

To put this in a simple word would be "committmentphobe".

Some people believe in this and others think it is hogwash. You find it in male and females. And as VU showed in the qoute it comes down to the idea of a "perfect" mate. Which does not exist but in some peoples mind it does. Hence Backbreakers problem. He is scared of a commitment so he will sabotage it or makes excuses of why it wont work.

I would see no reason why she could not be a part of your dream. If she is the way you say she is I believe she would want to be a part of it.

Maybe if you answer this to yourself it might explain somethings.