thank you guys.
however i think you dont really get my problem. i WANTED to go out just to have a little bit fun with friends and burning some calories(dancing). i absolutely didnt want to approach a girl, i wanted to have NOTHING to do with girls.
and i did not approach or even thinking about approaching. HOWEVER the one thing i absolutely CANT take no more is when i let opportunities pass by. doesnt matter if i get rejected,used or cheated on. THE ONLY ****ING THING THAT MATTERS IS TO TRY TO SEIZE OPPORTUNITIES. it's not the case that sometimes things go good and sometimes not. I ENVY EVERYONES LOVE LIFE. i even envy the baddest nerds that get absolutely no interest from girls. but i do have interested girls but dont make anything out of it and that is what brings me really down. i feel like a man almost dieing from being hungry since his teenage years and now finally having a fine argentinian rumpsteak in front of him BUT BEING TOO ****ING STUPID TO EAT.
how would you feel if you are 22, never gotten a girl you liked, finally after big and very painful efforts being pretty easily able to get one but despite that you just can't because ALWAYS RUNS THE EXACT SAME PATTERN. and the pattern is to always turn opportunities into BIG BIG regrets and to always make the absolute least of things. some examples are girl that they i really really liked starting to kiss me in front of her door, then after some kissing opens the door and looks horny at me, me saying good night and walking away. things finally end with my heart broken and her ignoring me. the two only other girls i really really liked in my life giving me great after great interest signs, things again end with heart break and no more contact. i have lots of other experiences where i made the absolutely least of things. and now yesterday the same, girl giving me signs giving me beer and me not even able to make a simple CONVERSATION with her, i couldnt have produced any results more worse. how do you think life feels when you are trapped in the same pattern to always **** things up?
edit:took the color test and i am amazed at the results FINALLY a change. the color test never lied so i trust him totally. every thing is the same except my desired objective.
normally it is:
Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering his chances of success or undermining others' confidence in himself.
but this time:
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand his fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
i have become optimistic didnt know this but now nothing can go wrong yeah