dont you hate it when

[joekerr31]

so im at walmart today and there are two women in line in front of me. one is 25-ish the other is 30-ish.

the 30-ish one was perfectly my type. im REALLY picky about 'my type'. there are lots of chics ill date and find attractive, but very very few who are exactly the type of woman that floats my boat as much as it can be floated.

so anyway, the two of them are standing in line. i can see in their cart that they have baby diapers. so instantly my interest goes to zero. i dont date women with kids. much less im not about to mack on a woman in line who is buying diapers for her kid. plus, the cold approach is not my forte unless im in the right mood / mind set for it.

add to this the fact that ive got the flu and wasnt feel good.

anyway, they go to pay and its the 25-ish girl who was buying the diapers. then the other woman checked out after her and was really friendly to the clerk etc.

im telling ya, this was one of those women who I found unbelievably attractive but who probably didn't get hit on a lot. she had that kind of shy but friendly personality - which is exaclty what i like.

now, add to that this chic had no wedding ring and was in walmart on a saturday evening - which means 95% chance she didn't have a guy.

so long story short, i did nothing. i let the opportunity slip through my fingers just cuz i thought maybe she had a kid and because i wasn't feeling great.

thought id post this as per the recent thread on regret. i may have just let a woman perfectly suited for me get away - D'OH!

but on the bright side, its been a while since a woman has sparked my interest the way this one did. which is good because it reminds me that there are women out there who will give me that 'magical' feeling. instead of how it usually goes where i think to myself 'ya, she'd be an ok f*ck, might as well strike up a conversation"

 

[Ever onward]

Hey Joe,

Tough break man. But part of me is glad to know you make mistakes with women too. I know a lot of times I do something unwise and you advise me against it so sometimes I think of you as infallible. What I guess I'm saying it's good to know we're all in the same boat.

You are so right about the regret. Rejection is almost nothing compared to it. For all you know, the diapers could have been for the other womans' kid.

Anyway, don't feel down too long. There are plenty of other women out there who will be just your type.

 

[jophil28]

We all know that 'regret ' feeling just after the damn window slams shut.
Next time , take the shot. Great message in this post for all of us.

 

[jophil28]

Anyway, don't feel down too long. There are plenty of other women out there who will be just your type.

Therein lies the problem . There are NOT plenty of other women who are "just his type" ..I am also likeminded about who is "my type" . I like the shy demure but friendly type woman who is more introverted than extaverted. They are RARE. LOst opportunities really hurt.

 

[RedPill]

Unless you've prepared for that moment - the completely unexpected encounter with a woman in a non-social setting who hits all your hot buttons, it's really difficult to just engage and build a rapport with her. In a situation like that, where the timing is terrible, you have about 10 seconds to drop whatever's on your mind and make a comment that makes her smile and gets her attention, while interrupting the transaction between her and the check-out lane, and even then she's out the door and off to her car with her stuff while you have to stand there and take care of your business.

I wouldn't regret that you didn't say/do anything, especially since you've got the flu. Like you suggested, use the experience as motivation to set up more situations for yourself where you can encounter more women, and the setting is much more conducive to interacting. Or, use it as fuel to make a plan for future random and brief encounters.

It annoys me when people treat poorly-timed situations the same as scenarios where the timing of the encounter at least gives you a realistic shot at starting a conversation. Often people will use timing as an excuse for not taking action and seizing the moment, but then there are moments where the timing is just plain bad. This sounds like one of those.

 

[Ever onward]

jophil - I'm trying to make him feel better about it!

You just gotta tell yourself that there are an abundance of your type out there. A scarcity mentality isn't good for anything.

 

[jophil28]

jophil - I'm trying to make him feel better about it!

You just gotta tell yourself that there are an abundance of your type out there. A scarcity mentality isn't good for anything.

We can all tell ourselves whatever we want to believe in. Belief alone does NOt change the reality of anything EVER. THis fashionable thinking - "If I believe it it will appear" is magical thinking for the most part. It is another silly attempt to convinvce ourselves that we have more power over our existence that we ACTUALLY have. However if it makes you 'feel' optimistic to believe this new age crap then go ahead. I do not buy it - my successes come from intellect,rigorous design and taking action AFTER I form my goal in thought. Thoughts are just thoughts .
You guys maybe read too much Tony R. et al.
The reality is that Joker said that he is very picky about his type which strongly suggests that his "TYPE" appear rarely(to him). Call it scarcity if you wish.
I do commiserate with the guy. Watching a perfect candidate walk away toward her car is anough to piss you off for a few days. I have been there a few times so I do know how he feels. Tough break.
All the more reason to seize the day when SHE comes into your cone of vision..

 

[joekerr31]

Hey Joe,

Tough break man. But part of me is glad to know you make mistakes with women too. I know a lot of times I do something unwise and you advise me against it so sometimes I think of you as infallible. What I guess I'm saying it's good to know we're all in the same boat.

You are so right about the regret. Rejection is almost nothing compared to it. For all you know, the diapers could have been for the other womans' kid.

Anyway, don't feel down too long. There are plenty of other women out there who will be just your type.

haha, im not infallible, i just tend to make different mistakes than a lot of guys.

while the problem with most guys is that they over commit to women, whereas my problem is that i tend to under commit - which is why i have a fairly objective view of male female interactions.

the under commiting part of me though really screws me in those types of scenarios, because instead of acting i'll often just let the moment pass me by.

not good, but im working on it. :woo:

 

[joekerr31]

Therein lies the problem . There are NOT plenty of other women who are "just his type" ..I am also likeminded about who is "my type" . I like the shy demure but friendly type woman who is more introverted than extaverted. They are RARE. LOst opportunities really hurt.

once you've interacted with enough women you can tell a lot about who she 'likely' is without even interacting with her. you can spot women, how they carry themselves, how they chat with their friends and pretty much have a very good sense of who she likely is.

its a very strange event when a woman turns your head like the one did tonight. i mean, its not about looks, there are plenty of 'hot' chics around. its something odd and unusual.

its probably happened to me less than 10 times in my life.

which is why it annoyed me that i didn't do anything about it.

i do believe there are odd things in life - and coming across a total stranger that doesn't feel like a stranger, that gives you a feeling of strange familiarity without even talking to them - that is hard to explain as purely biological. kind of like they spark your sixth sense or something.

anyway, life goes on

 

[joekerr31]

It annoys me when people treat poorly-timed situations the same as scenarios where the timing of the encounter at least gives you a realistic shot at starting a conversation. Often people will use timing as an excuse for not taking action and seizing the moment, but then there are moments where the timing is just plain bad. This sounds like one of those.

oh ya, without question the timing was bad. it would have had to be a totally cold approach in a check out line with tons of other people around us (while not holding up the line). and doing this with a chic who had baby diapers in her cart!

haha.

normally it would be a no brainer. but like i say, its very rare to get hit with the vibe i got when seeing her and regardless i should have acted on it.

you cant be afraid of rejection, or embarassment in this life. after all, in 50 years from now i'll probably dead - who cares if i had made an ass of myself in front of everyone at walmart!

circumstances were no excuse, i should have at least attempted to barge in to their conversation.

 

[joekerr31]

jophil - I'm trying to make him feel better about it!

You just gotta tell yourself that there are an abundance of your type out there. A scarcity mentality isn't good for anything.

oh i dont have a scarcity mentality. there are TONS of women that im more than happy to hang out with and f*ck. well not TONS, but enough

what i was saying is that this chic, for some reason, just lit something off inside me that never gets lit off. like i say, maybe 10 women have caused me to get that inner feeling like i did with this one. VU has talked about this and he says he tends to bump into about 3 of such women a year. for me its about one every two years or so.

i dont know, maybe im just super sensitive to a certain kind of pheramone that is rare in the female population

its hard to explain, i dont know if all guys experience it, but theres a difference between a chic that you dig and think is hot etc, and one who just utterly captivates you. when you look at her it doesn't spark sexual thoughts, it makes you calm. most chics i look at and think about f*cking them, then a chic like this i see and i actually find myself thinking about sappy crap like spooning at a cottage overlooking the lake. totally different kinds of thoughts.

anyway, enough with the oprah moment out of me :kick:

 

[jophil28]

i do believe there are odd things in life - and coming across a total stranger that doesn't feel like a stranger, that gives you a feeling of strange familiarity without even talking to them - that is hard to explain as purely biological. kind of like they spark your sixth sense or something.

anyway, life goes on

Yep- it feels like a strange but pleasant feeling of "knowing" that person, a perfect stranger. The attraction is immediate and powerful and compelling too. Live is full of surpriising events ain't it ?

 

[joekerr31]

Yep- it feels like a strange but pleasant feeling of "knowing" that person, a perfect stranger. The attraction is immediate and powerful and compelling too. Live is full of surpriising events ain't it ?

ya, those moments are so rare. like i say, ill come across thousands of women over the course of a year (as we all do simply m oving about in life). and for one out of those thousand to catch my attention like tonight, is well, strange.

i know folks will throw out oneitis, but what im talking about is much different than oneitis.

and like i said in my first post, im not upset over this at all. in fact, it reinvigorates me - because it refreshes my hope that i'll catch that feeling again and at some point it will be a constant part of my life. its proof positive that THAT is how you should feel when you marry a woman,a nd you should never settle for any woman who doesn't make you feel THAT way on a consistent basis.

and i'm fully aware, as all men should be, not to let such feelings blind them. i do worry when i post this kind of thing, cuz AFCs will come back later and say 'im just following my feeling. its just as powerful as that feeling you had."

argh - feelings are one thing, but actions should always be made with regards to the facts of a given situation. so no matter how much a woman might feel like 'the one', if her actions aren't congruant with that, 'lovey dovey' feelings are no excuse for letting a chic cut your nuts off.

 

[jophil28]

a,
if her actions aren't congruant with that, 'lovey dovey' feelings are no excuse for letting a chic cut your nuts off.

THis is KEY to us protecting ourselves from THEM -the psychobaitches.
Guys write this on YOUR FRIDGE.
Repetitive incongruent behavior is a warning signal .Ignore it at the expense of your nuts and your mental health.

 

[joekerr31]

THis is KEY to us protecting ourselves from THEM -the psychobaitches.
Guys write this on YOUR FRIDGE.
Repetitive incongruent behavior is a warning signal .Ignore it at the expense of your nuts and your mental health.

ya, the difference between myself and a lot of guys on here is that sure, i got these feelings from some stranger chic, but if i had started talking to her and her behavior wasn't congruent with who i thought she was going to be, i wouldn't fool myself - i wouldn't keep feeling lovey dovey just cuz it felt good.

id man up, admit she wasnt what i thought she was, and move on.

 

[joekerr31]

THis is KEY to us protecting ourselves from THEM -the psychobaitches.
Guys write this on YOUR FRIDGE.
Repetitive incongruent behavior is a warning signal .Ignore it at the expense of your nuts and your mental health.

ya, the difference between myself and a lot of guys on here is that sure, i got these feelings from some stranger chic, but if i had started talking to her and her behavior wasn't congruent with who i thought she was going to be, i wouldn't fool myself - i wouldn't keep feeling lovey dovey just cuz it felt good.

id man up, admit she wasnt what i thought she was, and move on.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Well Joekerr, experiences like this have a way of making us feel young again. Maybe this 'perfect' gal in the walmart was meant to just stay perfect, at that moment, as a reminder to not settle for something less.

 

[Latinoman]

Don't worry...there was a reason you did not approach. You were off and it happens to anyone.

 

[STR8UP]

ya, the difference between myself and a lot of guys on here is that sure, i got these feelings from some stranger chic, but if i had started talking to her and her behavior wasn't congruent with who i thought she was going to be, i wouldn't fool myself - i wouldn't keep feeling lovey dovey just cuz it felt good.

id man up, admit she wasnt what i thought she was, and move on.

Yea, I posted a thread on this awhile back.

For me, i run across one of these kinds of women every 1 to 1.5 years.

Don't feel bad....last one that made me go WOW....I did pursue her, and she turned out to be a flakey coke head (albeit a very sweet flakey coke head)

The funny thing is about these women is that I did hang out with this chick for awhile, and I soon realized that she wasn't even CLOSE to relationship material, but even to this day I find myself thinking about her in an affectionate way, almost wishing I could see her.

There are just so few women who can create that type of attraction with me, when I do run across one who makes such an impression it's hard to get her completely out of my head even though I nexted her for whatever reason(s).

 

[Interceptor]

It's late, but I had to reply.

Damn, joe, touigh break, bro.I feel for you, dude. I really do. Just bad timing, I guess. And you didn't want to take a chance, since you were feeling not so hot. It happens to every guy, dude. This was just your time.
Take this to heart, and learn from this experience.
Next time, tell yourself that you're going to enrapture the chick. Be ready, and stay confident.
Hey, it's one of those things. It happen to the best of us. Some guys would still go for it. And that's cool.


But you felt "off" and you have to accept that. It's ok, bro. No one can judge you. No one can criticize you either.


I'm kind of in the same boat as you guys as I have not met my "types" as often as I would like.
But, I will say this, I will learn from your experience, and when I do see "her" , it's "Game On." QWhich incidentally really uis my mind frame.
I tryu to always be "on". And be alert to signals.
I always smile and reward eye contact. If it feels right, I'll cold approach.
If the chick is not my type, I lock her eyes anyway, but I won't be compelled to approach.


What I would do if I were you, joe, is replay the event and think of openers, and her responses. Do a mental checklist, and do a scenario review.
That way, next time you will be better prepared for the event.
Insert sh*t tests and b*tchy attitudes, and good behavior and laughing and giggling. That way you can make the experinece feel more "real", this will give you a stronger frame to project when the event comes up again.

These women are unofrtuantely "rare'.
Part of the reason is that since we've disconnected from the Matrix, and know what's up, we just don't settle for anything thrown our way.
While I've always been into higher quality women especially ones with things in common with me, they have become rarer these days.

Another thing to think about this event is, preparedness.
I think every Man who's looking for a quality woman, shoudl learn from women.
What do I propose we learn?

They're mostly always ready to be approached.

meaning, they are always dressed well, perfumed,and mentally ready for a good man to come along and sweep her off her feet.
Take a page from the womne. guys.
Always be ready.
Look dashing. Smell great. Feel great. And be ready to approach. All the time.
As much as possible.

If you're not doing this on a regular basis, then you're not talking this part of your lifestyle too seriously. Which is OK, I'm no one to judge. But I think we should all give ourselves the maximum potential and higest percentages, throw them in our favor basically.
Anyway, I applaud your honesty and your consdieration in sharing this with us, joe.
We'll reinforce the notion to be ready for the right girl, when she shows up.


Be ready.

That's our motto.