Don't obey your parents?

[Luke Skywalker]

If you want to be nice to mommy, that's fine. Give her a ride once in a while. But don't let her tell you whom to date. You have told us before that she gets to tell you which girls are good enough for her required approval.

That's if she knows about it and if I'm inherently unsure about what I'm doing and it's vibing out to them that something's up. For example, I'm seeing a 50 year old woman on Saturday that's a totally different religion/philosophy to me and would be taboo or forbidden territory -- but I'm meeting her over coffee and it's like talking to any other stranger -- so no big deal.

You have not had girlfriends yet to find this out, but no woman is going to tolerate being second to your mom. They really hate that.

That's right, I have not had girlfriends yet to find that out.

First of all, not every girl is the same. Maybe you are correct and most women may feel that way, but you cant say all women feel that way, and seeing as I only need the right girl to have some sort of relationship with then maybe this girl is the exception and not the rule.

Second of all, I think there are many inner and outer game issues to deal with that would make that into nothing. My philosophy is that if you are really good player, then you could actually mask the living at home situation -- you just have to keep your cell phone off so that mom doesn't interrupt the date and ask where you are and when you are coming home on speaker phone. You press the off button. See, I can mask this - nobody give me advice for this, see how smart I am, you press the 'off' button.

Thirdly, I've read a thread on here, maybe there may be a few of them like that, of guys who live on their own, are independent, about my age range, and yet still cant get a girl.

Fourthly, if I'm moving from home BECAUSE I want a girl, that becomes part of approval-seeking behaviour. One of the cardinal rules is that you cant do anything to seek validation or approval from a woman. You do anything because you want to but not care what a woman thinks...

I've heard my own girlfriend and her friends laugh at the idea of a man living with his mother.

That's fine because I am not seeking approval from your girlfriend or her friends. In fact, as an aspiring DJ, I'm not an approval seeker and do not care what women think. I have to learn to develop tough skin.

You have to decide between the comforts of living at home and the comforts that a woman can offer you.

I've already decided that to be consistent with a DJ, I can not be approval-seeking or validation seeking. If a woman accepts me for me that's fine, but I'm not going to change to please any woman.

 

[Teh_Wolf]

Man I really wish I was more obediant, then there wouldnt be so much yelling. Its not that hard to respect your parents even if it doesnt make sense, and in my case at least, the happier my parents are with me things would be a lot easier and they'd probably let me off with alot more. So i wouldnt have to break the rules, theyd just let me do more of what i want.

I dont think it has anything to do wtih being a DJ. You should be balanced enough to be able to respect your parents and still pull the chicks

 

[Poonani Maker]

I talk to my parents once every three months or so. It's been like that for four years and I also live 1000 miles on my own away from my whole family. This sheer independence on my part is visible by the women in my life, and my "going it alone" disposition melts their panties. They love the fact that I've made contacts and survive in the wild on my own as a wild beast.

 

[leftForDeadPhoenix]

Did someone just call my name?

I obey my parents, I'm 32 years old and like you have some limited experience, but nothing really solid, and am also a virgin, but subscribe to the wait until marriage to have sex thing. I love my mom and my dad and they could be involved in whom I'm going out with and there is no privacy in here. I'm the only child and I'm a surrogate husband to my mother when dad's not around and take her places. You would think that a nice guy like me that's good to his parents would be blessed to have a nice girl in my life, but that's obviously not the case.

I'm a Christian, so I think it's right to respect my parents and listen to them, but I don't obey them. I'm responsible for myself and that is the person who will have to answer to God at the judgment seat, not my parents. It's irresponsible to let somebody else make your decisions for you. It's not good.

There comes a time in your life where you become responsible for yourself and your parents are no longer liable for what you do and you no longer can use them as an excuse for making wrong choices. At the same time, they can no longer take credit when you do something right. It's the way God intended. He didn't make us robots or clones.

 

[wolf116]

I have always subscribed to being your own person. Even in primary school I would not listen to my parents **** threatening to destroying my life. Like religion, not going out, not being allowed a push bike or sports. Your parent are there to guide you not control you. Just because you are made of their genes dose not mean you are theirs.

Never base a decision on someone else's opinion.

I love my parents and will look after them in their old age, but don't let them change the life you wish to lead.

 

[misterethoughts]

Damn, I needed to read this damn post. **** is bad on this side. I am 23 and I am trying to move out soon, saving money and such. I need to lower my balls and do something about it damn it.

 

[[S]alvatore]

Yes when you are younger listening to your parents is the right thing to do. Only in the sense of you being an obedient child and not a delinquent. But for them to shield you from certain things because they think you aren't old enough or mature enough is wrong. How are you supposed to know how the world works, or how to communicate with people if your parents don't let you go out, don't let you talk on the phone etc?

Luke:

It's fine for your mother to have an opinion on the women that you see, but ultimately it's you that has to be happy, not your mother.

 

[Alle_Gory]

You have not had girlfriends yet to find this out, but no woman is going to tolerate being second to your mom. They really hate that.

There's enough material on this thread to make an episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. Only without the wife, and the kids, and the limited independence. There is co-dependence only.

No woman is going to respect you until you move away from your parents. I've heard my own girlfriend and her friends laugh at the idea of a man living with his mother. You have to decide between the comforts of living at home and the comforts that a woman can offer you.

Why would she? If you can't take care of yourself (Luke) then how are you going to take care of her? Weakness is a disease, and its treated as such.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I need to lower my balls and do something about it damn it.

No you don't. Better keep saving up and move out as soon as possible.


Done.

 

[Squiggly Sponge]

Fourthly, if I'm moving from home BECAUSE I want a girl, that becomes part of approval-seeking behaviour. One of the cardinal rules is that you cant do anything to seek validation or approval from a woman. You do anything because you want to but not care what a woman thinks...

This is one thing I just do not get. If you're reading this site, posting on this forum then it's clearly obvious you want a girl. Why not just ADMIT IT and do the following steps in order to ensure your success with women. Nothing wrong with admitting you want women. Calling following through "approval-seeking behaviour" seems to me like a sign of denial. I know you want to do things your way, but at the age of 32 with no girlfriend it's obvious that your way DOES NOT WORK.

In reply to the original question though, obeying your parents is fine to a point, but doing it vigourously may show the inability to stand on one's own two feet, and make your own decisions. Which is all part of growing up.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

My mom claims she wants to help me find a girl and didn't know it was this important to me. The straw the broke the camel's back occurs yesterday when my mom insists on snooping at what fvcking websites I'm looking at and has to find out that I'm interested in buying synthetic pheromone products from Andriotics (http://www.pherotalk.com. I say this because I feel I have no privacy in here and if buying a simple perfume product has to come under the ire of my mom -- then what good is having money in the bank and a good credit line if I have to get permission from my mother to buy anything. The product was going to be used for fun to see what sort of hits I get out there in public, if it doesn't work, I get my money back, simple as that. My mom think it will change my whole personality - she is crazy.

I threatened to move out of this place and loot her account which she placed under my trust (the latter would not be acceptable, but my dad ripped me off on a debt he owes me and I was taking that out from her) and start looking for places to rent so I can buy these pheromones and try them out. Imagine, I have to move out of here if I want to continue with that pheromone experiment because she's freaking out about the smell influence. Or, maybe I can just buy them anyway and if she kicks me out of here then fine.

Right now there is a limited peace where she is promising to pray and do all she can do to help me find the right girl -- I was thinking of going to Trinidad to see what's up there (maybe my Aunt can teach me Spanish and go after Latin girls there), but I have other commitments for the time being and have to stay there. I may give this until October 24th, and see what happens.

 

[Huffman]

Don't you feel that it's simply TIME to move on? To redefine yourself? To move on to the next stage of your life?
Do you not yearn for fresh air? For new surroundings?

Just saying that, over here, people move out in their very early 20s, even the AFCs.

It is the natural thing to do - you will only delay the inevitable.

 

[Corona]

You guys fucking fail at life.

 

[Centaurion]

You guys fucking fail at life.

QFT

 

[Iron]

You guys fucking fail at life.

:crackup:

To the OP, I sense in a way following your parents rules to a letter is what makes someone turn into a soft AFC type. I followed most of the rules greatly due to the fact that they were basic and mostly common sense. I was the type to challenge and break the unfair ones, but in the end i think its falling into a mentality of "yes mom-yes dad-yes-whoever" that eventually turns into "yes-dear-yes-dear"

 

[Alle_Gory]

she didn't know it was this important to me.

:moon: OWNED!

I say this because I feel I have no privacy in here and if buying a simple perfume product has to come under the ire of my mom -- then what good is having money in the bank and a good credit line if I have to get permission from my mother to buy anything.

:crackup:

I have other commitments for the time being and have to stay there.

Bravo. Don't move out. You deserve the punishment and endless torment for being such a pu$$y.