Don't ever make the same mistake!!...

[European-DJ]

About 3 months ago, I posted a topic about going back to my ex, even though I was warned, I guess I wanted to learn by my own mistakes, so stay with throughout this little story, to see how falling in love can cause you to forget about yourself, break your own heart, and how to make a betraying unmoral girl shine likes the clearest diamond.

3 months ago I went back to my ex, after she reinitiated contact with me, after she had dumped my ass for another guy at her school - it was unacceptable to forgive that - Whenever we are together in person, we have the time of our life, laughing, hugging, fvcking, you name it. We never ran out of stuff to talk about, went to dinners/movies often, and she even bought me a 400$ watch for my birthday 2 weeks ago.

But what I didn’t know, and what I found out yesterday at our “2 year anniversary”, was that she still fvcked the guy she dumped me for, who went on her school.

How did I find out?
She had invited me for dinner at this Italian restaurant; we sat and had a great time. All of the sudden the guy walks in with a date, and I could just see how affected she was, so I started asking her, verbally pushing her, actually making kind of an scene, keep repeating the questions I was asking her, until I found out the truth.

What was the truth?
Apparently, she never stopped seeing this guy. Or well, for a week she did, but then they started seeing each other again. Apparently in July, when I was off to the traditional 1 month holiday with my family, she was fvcking him, while she was ignoring me and lying about what she was doing, she was fvcking him at my birthday, and each time when she was with him, I would be ignored – to which she came with a great excuse that she was “troubled, and short of time due to the fact that she was moving in to a new apartment the 1st of august”.

How did I react?
I flipped out at first, lost my temper, and told the guy that she was fvcking us both (which he didn’t knew), wow he took it like a man. Was he surprised? Yes, but even though this dude really did love her, and trust me, I know, he was like “I guess we aren’t speaking anymore HERNAME”, and padded both of us on our back and went like “Damn, you guys have a lot of issues” and went back to his date.
Do I envy him? Yes I do, this guy was so cool about it!

Anyway, what happened? First, I drove away, kind of freeing and happy that it was finally over, but then I went sad; wanted to know the whole truth, the details – why? Because I still am nothing more than an AFC.

I called her, waited outside her new apartment, found out all of the **** she was doing behind my back, found out that right after I drove, she wrote him a huge apology text, and nothing to me.

What did I do?
I ended up listening to her **** about how much she loves me, and how much she wants to be with me, so I ended up fvcking her and sleeping at her place.

The next morning (right now), I couldn’t handle it, I had a terrible nightmare, and my head was full of negative thought, so I put on my clothes – while she continued BS’ing me about her love and feelings for me, so I left, now I am sitting by my computer, writing this hugeass post, and my feelings are all over the place, I am so sorry that I was cheated on and fooled like that – I never knew anyone could betray me so well, that I ALMOST wouldn’t notice a single thing.

The worst part? All of her friends, even her sister, knew about this, and guess what, instead of being honest with me when I asked, they just vouched for her “Great great love for me”. What a sick place, and disrespectful place this has become.

DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MASTAKE AS ME, WALK IF YOU ARE DISRESPECTED, AND NEVER EVER GO BACKTO A EX! THERE IS A REASON WHY THEY SHOULD STAY IN THE PAST!!

 

[Merris]

This is something I aso had to learn the hard way. Never lose her respect. Chicks like to practice some of the most amazing mental gymnastics you've ever seen, either to convince themselves of something, or, as amusing as it sounds, just for the hell of it.

It seems you have some growing up to do, man. However, the only way to learn to deal with this kind of crap is experience it. Most of the time everyone WILL side with the woman in any and all matters touching her relationship(s), so as a man, you're alone in it. I am guessing that this experience taught you some of that.

I do prefer the solitude, however. I would hate to have a gaggle of people clucking about my dates or ****s all the time. If I want company, I go for a beer, shooting, fishing or for sports with my male friends. There is no way in hell anyone of them is really interested in my sex/dating life(other than the occasional mocking compliment or joke) and that is a GOOD, GOOD thing. I enjoy the company and the activities, I'm not there to have other dudes lick my wounds. Conversely, if there are some of our better female friends in the group, they are always curious about this kind of stuff and seem to love nothing better than "naughty little conversations in muffled tones" about this woman and that woman and yadda yadda blah.

I do think that you came out of that bit richer, even if the currency is a bit heavy to carry.

 

[yougottaknow90]

...

I called her, waited outside her new apartment, found out all of the **** she was doing behind my back, found out that right after I drove, she wrote him a huge apology text, and nothing to me.

that fvcking stings, man.

 

[floydb25]

Word... this is how immature girls operate. They lie, deny, sneak around, and think they're clever. But it all feeds into the drama they bring everyone into. They set up all these chaotic situations. The worst mistake was taking her seriously, or any young bish for that matter. Most girls are retarded enough as it is, but young ones take it to a whole 'nother level.

FYI: they ALWAYS break up with this guy for that, make up lame excuses as they're whoring around, lie their asses off about it to everyone, try to gain sympathy from everyone for it, get everyone caught up in their BS, and make them all hate life. They always have new feelings for everyone, can't make up their minds about anything, don't KNOW anything, are all about the "prize skittles", etc.

Just gotta have fun and not take them seriously. It's what they're all about, anyway. Look for relationships with more mature, classy girls. Not dumb drama wh0res. You'll learn after a while... we all do.

 

[European-DJ]

Word... this is how immature girls operate. They lie, deny, sneak around, and think they're clever. But it all feeds into the drama they bring everyone into. They set up all these chaotic situations. The worst mistake was taking her seriously, or any young bish for that matter. Most girls are retarded enough as it is, but young ones take it to a whole 'nother level.

FYI: they ALWAYS break up with this guy for that, make up lame excuses as they're whoring around, lie their asses off about it to everyone, try to gain sympathy from everyone for it, get everyone caught up in their BS, and make them all hate life. They always have new feelings for everyone, can't make up their minds about anything, don't KNOW anything, are all about the "prize skittles", etc.

Just gotta have fun and not take them seriously. It's what they're all about, anyway. Look for relationships with more mature, classy girls. Not dumb drama wh0res. You'll learn after a while... we all do.

+1 Rep for this one, you described her perfectly, without even knowing her, but i guess all girls in the early 20's are the same.

I should just go NC completely, and i know time will heal all sorrows, but man, this hurt like hell! A real strike to the ego!

 

[cordoncordon]

About 3 months ago, I posted a topic about going back to my ex, even though I was warned, I guess I wanted to learn by my own mistakes, so stay with throughout this little story, to see how falling in love can cause you to forget about yourself, break your own heart, and how to make a betraying unmoral girl shine likes the clearest diamond.

3 months ago I went back to my ex, after she reinitiated contact with me, after she had dumped my ass for another guy at her school - it was unacceptable to forgive that - Whenever we are together in person, we have the time of our life, laughing, hugging, fvcking, you name it. We never ran out of stuff to talk about, went to dinners/movies often, and she even bought me a 400$ watch for my birthday 2 weeks ago.

But what I didn’t know, and what I found out yesterday at our “2 year anniversary”, was that she still fvcked the guy she dumped me for, who went on her school.

How did I find out?
She had invited me for dinner at this Italian restaurant; we sat and had a great time. All of the sudden the guy walks in with a date, and I could just see how affected she was, so I started asking her, verbally pushing her, actually making kind of an scene, keep repeating the questions I was asking her, until I found out the truth.

What was the truth?
Apparently, she never stopped seeing this guy. Or well, for a week she did, but then they started seeing each other again. Apparently in July, when I was off to the traditional 1 month holiday with my family, she was fvcking him, while she was ignoring me and lying about what she was doing, she was fvcking him at my birthday, and each time when she was with him, I would be ignored – to which she came with a great excuse that she was “troubled, and short of time due to the fact that she was moving in to a new apartment the 1st of august”.

How did I react?
I flipped out at first, lost my temper, and told the guy that she was fvcking us both (which he didn’t knew), wow he took it like a man. Was he surprised? Yes, but even though this dude really did love her, and trust me, I know, he was like “I guess we aren’t speaking anymore HERNAME”, and padded both of us on our back and went like “Damn, you guys have a lot of issues” and went back to his date.
Do I envy him? Yes I do, this guy was so cool about it!

Anyway, what happened? First, I drove away, kind of freeing and happy that it was finally over, but then I went sad; wanted to know the whole truth, the details – why? Because I still am nothing more than an AFC.

I called her, waited outside her new apartment, found out all of the **** she was doing behind my back, found out that right after I drove, she wrote him a huge apology text, and nothing to me.

What did I do?
I ended up listening to her **** about how much she loves me, and how much she wants to be with me, so I ended up fvcking her and sleeping at her place.

The next morning (right now), I couldn’t handle it, I had a terrible nightmare, and my head was full of negative thought, so I put on my clothes – while she continued BS’ing me about her love and feelings for me, so I left, now I am sitting by my computer, writing this hugeass post, and my feelings are all over the place, I am so sorry that I was cheated on and fooled like that – I never knew anyone could betray me so well, that I ALMOST wouldn’t notice a single thing.

The worst part? All of her friends, even her sister, knew about this, and guess what, instead of being honest with me when I asked, they just vouched for her “Great great love for me”. What a sick place, and disrespectful place this has become.

DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MASTAKE AS ME, WALK IF YOU ARE DISRESPECTED, AND NEVER EVER GO BACKTO A EX! THERE IS A REASON WHY THEY SHOULD STAY IN THE PAST!!

While I totally sympathize with you, and wish you all the best, the fact is you took her back the first time even after she left you for another guy, and then, after getting back with her, and then finding out she was still sleeping with the same guy all along and seemed much more upset about potentially losing him rather than you, YOU STILL ACTED 100% AFC AND NOT ONLY WAITED FOR HER AT HER APT, BUT THEN HAD SEX WITH HER??

I fear that you are going to go back again and again for more punishment with this girl. I believe you know what the right thing to do is-to go no contact, but you are incapable of doing it. Your actions prove this to me.

I hope I'm wrong.

 

[In2theGame]

Welcome to the cruel world. Your 21 so this experience is a first lesson and will guide you in the future of what to put up with and what not to put up with. Trust me, Woman can betray you as if they have become demonically possessed and are aiming for your soul.

 

[Zarky]

OP, consider yourself lucky that you learned this lesson at age 21 and not 41. It's tough now but will make a better man out of you. Just don't do anything stupid and take her back or stalk her or anything like that. Let it hurt but don't react. Soon it won't hurt, and in a few months you'll be back to normal and will have learned a valuable lesson that every guy learns at some point in life. Best of luck.

 

[floydb25]

Cordon: Word... One thing you learn quickly is that people don't change; what you see is what you get. So, if they break up with you for another guy, lie about it, and wrap themselves in all this retarded drama-victim BS - that's THEM. Sympathizing with toxic retards is the WORST thing you can do, because these patterns never change. They probably broke up with someone to get with you, too, and pulled all the same crap on them. Never fails. It's all drama and chaos and two-faced, selfish, damsel activity everywhere.

That's why you avoid (or just hook up with) these loser types, and DON'T take them seriously, sympathize with all the problems THEY cause and bring everyone else into, take their side, act like the nice guy, etc. These bishes are fake, shallow, dumb, and crazy. They definitely stand out, but not in a good way. Most people who stand out are attention-wh0ring retards, anyway.

 

[Slickster]

The moral of the story is, if you don't respect yourself, don't expect it from anyone else.

Your ex cheated on you and you went back. How could she ever respect you after that? How could you respect yourself?

Be happy that you found out. Life is short and she is a waste of time.

Learn from this and never let it happen again!

 

[European-DJ]

I really appreciate the answers, and will go on a NC run - hopefully, before long, I will look back on this topic and face palm myself in embarrassment - maybe even laugh it out, but for now, perhaps a pause from women is in order, so that I can restore my self-respect and my hurt ego.

Once again, thanks for the support and constructive feedback!

 

[devilkingx2]

OP I think here's what you should do

ever watch how I met your mother? (barney did something similar with his first love... sheila or something)

pretend to get back with her and forgive all her transgressions if she can show you (in bed) why she should be forgiven.

then delete her number, delete her on facebook/twitter/instagram/tumblr/whatever and block her too, never answer her calls nor blocked calls unless you're expecting one or receive them frequently, hang up as soon as you hear her voice if you do, don't agree to meet her, talk to her, see her, when you do see her don't even acknowledge her presence/existance, if you have to pretend that you either don't know her and have never met her or that she's your stalker, file a restraining order if need be. and avoid anyone with more affiliation to her than you(they might let her call you with her phone and generally take her side in things)

(as far as she sees it, she's been pumped and dumped and duped.)

think going super NC

 

[cordoncordon]

Went through something like this fairly recently(yes, as a 3 year vet with thousands of posts) yeah it stings. Partially because youre not a psycho and you actually bond through sex. Partially because you know YOU should be the one not giving a sh1t because you have new women. Been through it 3x. Get out there w/ new chicks even though you prob feel like a chump right now. Grind it out.

I mean, the guy was with her at dinner, AFTER getting dumped once already, then finds out she is fawking another guy still, and even after all that, STILL goes and WAITS for her at her apt and then HAS SEX WITH HER?

I don't even know what constructive criticism there is to offer for that. It's beyond all afcdom. The guy has no self esteem at all. It's just a deep seat psychological problem that OP has that allows himself to be treated this way, and there is probably nothing that anyone on this board can say that will change that. Maybe if he went and got some professional long term help things might change with him.

Good luck OP.

 

[European-DJ]

I mean, the guy was with her at dinner, AFTER getting dumped once already, then finds out she is fawking another guy still, and even after all that, STILL goes and WAITS for her at her apt and then HAS SEX WITH HER?

I don't even know what constructive criticism there is to offer for that. It's beyond all afcdom. The guy has no self esteem at all. It's just a deep seat psychological problem that OP has that allows himself to be treated this way, and there is probably nothing that anyone on this board can say that will change that. Maybe if he went and got some professional long term help things might change with him.

Good luck OP.

I had it exactly like this with my last LTR, who also lasted 2 years.
I get so committed and so attached, that I cannot set myself free and cannot move on, I guess that I am so used to the presence of these girls, that I simply cannot figure out what to do with myself when something like that happens.

Honestly, I might need professional help/have some kind of psychological issue with bonding - I bond far too easily, and when the relationship lasts longer than a year/I commit completely too it, then I get so hurt and unbelievably desperate/needy for the person when they leave. It is weird, because last time I had no problem moving on, even though we had been together for 20 months, this time it stings and hurts in such an unbelievable way, and I cannot figure out why! I think i trust people too much, because I am raised by always holding my word, and instead of judging by her actions, I just sit down an listen and feed on whatever she has to say...

 

[European-DJ]

When I feel good about myself, I do not care about the breakup. Do this mental trick: "If I had 1 million dollars would I give a fvk that this girl left?" probably not. Therefore, the girl is not the problem, you're just not happy in life.

In my case, my plate(I was attached, didnt realize how much until days after the rejection) ditched me at a terrible time. Bills due, underpaid, overworked, and chronic lack of sleep. Of course I feel ****ty!

You are completely right, at the current moment I am dealing with some issues, and have lost a lot of my confidence, that I used to have.
- I think the best thing I can do, is focus on myself, get in better shape, focus on my company and school, and then hopefully she will be forgotten within a month or two - I KNOW that time heals all sorrows, because I have tried this thing once before, and when I think back and look how much I put my old girl on a pedestal, I realize that I am doing the exact same thing with this one.

At least I got the experience!

 

[Lord Hypnos]

look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry this b1tch and get bled to death with divorce, or worse, cuckolded

 

[Zarky]

look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry this b1tch and get bled to death with divorce, or worse, cuckolded

I think most married men would rather have their wife sleep with other guys than take half their stuff :crackup:

 

[Voice]

I mean, the guy was with her at dinner, AFTER getting dumped once already, then finds out she is fawking another guy still, and even after all that, STILL goes and WAITS for her at her apt and then HAS SEX WITH HER?

Eh, sometimes your philosophy has to be "doesn't matter had sex". This girl is an immature ho and should be treated like one. She doesn't deserve a relationship from you. The only thing she deserves is the D. It's my opinion that you either:

a. Use this b1tch for sex, turn her into a fb
b. eliminate her from your life if you're too emotionally attached

Either way, you need to start talking to other girls. And for the love of God don't ever date her again.

 

[European-DJ]

Eh, sometimes your philosophy has to be "doesn't matter had sex". This girl is an immature ho and should be treated like one. She doesn't deserve a relationship from you. The only thing she deserves is the D. It's my opinion that you either:

a. Use this b1tch for sex, turn her into a fb
b. eliminate her from your life if you're too emotionally attached

Either way, you need to start talking to other girls. And for the love of God don't ever date her again.

I would love if it could be (A), because she fvcks like a porn star, and sucks even better; has a rocking body and is nothing short than amazing in the bed.

But I think I must go for (B), since I believe I am too emotionally attached and due to our history; I think I am unable to cut of the feelings and move on like FB's, I am not strong enough for that, at least not yet.

I think the main - not only - reason I became so attached to her, was the amazing sex, and the frequency of it.

 

[dementia]

You need to walk away. That other guy has the idea. He banged ur girl and is nailing others. you can't be him cos she's ur ex and he probably only really knows her on fvcking terms. He could also keep hitting it as he obviously has power in their relationship. Still, be that guy. Just not with her involved in ur life