Don't buy girls drinks? Why not?

[BuckwildNYC]

"Don't buy girls drinks!!!!!" I must have read this like a thousand times on this site and I'm tired of it. Now before you flame me please read on. Most of the info on this site is gold but this has got to be the worst general advice on this site.

Now I'm not talking about when you meet a girl and the first words out of your mouth is "Hey baby, can I buy you a drink ?".
That's just plain corny.

What I'm talking about is if you are in a club and you start dancing with a girl. Maybe you danced with her for 20 minutes and you're both getting hot and sweaty. I want someone to tell me what better way there is to get a girl isolated and in a better location than to take her to get a drink. Now you can take her by the hand (kino) and lead her to the bar and spend, heaven forbid, 20 bucks for a couple of drinks. Now you have a couple of Long Island Iced Teas (one will have the girl feeling really nice) and you can lead her by the hand again, to a more quiet table, have a seat, and start talking.

This to me is classy. Hanging out in a bar or club with a girl for more than a half an hour and you are not drinking makes you look like a cheesy cheap fukk. What are you gonna do, buy a drink and not offer her one? Yeah, that'll get you far.

I'm no super DJ but I can't tell you how many times this routine has led me to kiss closes and future dates.

Basically I don't want to see you guys blindly following a rule that I don't see has any real merit. Most of the theories on this site I haven't field tested, but buying a girl a drink has never in my life stopped me from pulling a chick. If anything it's been just the opposite.

Flame on guys lol

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

I agree,although the "Don't buy a girl a drink" motto...along with many others...is there for the guys that come to this site having spent however many years supplicating to women without getting anything in return.

There's nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink once she has shown some value to you ie:as in your example of dancing.

 

[BuckwildNYC]

Yeah I guess it's a rule to put a guy in the mindset of not kissing the girls ass. The problem is guys get these rules and think they are %100.

It's like the one guy who was trying to do neghits on a HB6 and he just ended up hurting her feelings. The girl probably had bad self esteem and he just made her feel worse. Neghits only work on girls who think their shyt don't stink.

Guidelines are fine but we all need to use some common sense and know what to use and where.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

I won't buy a girl a drink as an ice breaker.

 

[Chemistry]

Its a guide for all the AFCs out there who think that if they flash a little cash about and buy a girl a couple of drinks they'll fall madly in love with them and give it up on the same night...

Buying a drink is just another tool in the arsenal though... by teaching the extreme first to someone who was at the other extreme, they should be able to eventually recognise a sensible middle ground where they judge a situation and act accordingly, putting into play one of their weapons...

So, you're in a nice bar with a wing... you look across the bar and see 2 stunning blondes... you're quite well off, so you tell the barman to send across whatever they were having and give a quick wink when they look over your way after receiving the drinks... then you move on in and bring in the DJ convo skills etc... its a nice ice breaker when used correctly...

And if you're sat with girls and you're been buildin up rapport to the extent that you know you're going somewhere with them, and you just naturally happen to be going to the bar... then why not offer to buy them a drink.. if you know that there's no progression don't buy them a drink just for the sake of it but if it fits naturally into the scenario then do it.. chances are if you're any good as a DJ and you've not got a complete golddigger, they'll be buying the next ones in for you...

 

[silverwex]

I was at the bar in the local club last sat night and a girl came up to me and my mate and asked me 'Are you going to buy me a drink?' - I was like 'Eh... No!' she then gave me the puppy dog look and said 'Please, its my birthday!' I left whuile my friend start making excuses that I had a girlfriend etc...

Lol.

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by BuckwildNYC
"Don't buy girls drinks!!!!!" I must have read this like a thousand times on this site and I'm tired of it. Now before you flame me please read on. Most of the info on this site is gold but this has got to be the worst general advice on this site.

Now I'm not talking about when you meet a girl and the first words out of your mouth is "Hey baby, can I buy you a drink ?".
That's just plain corny.

What I'm talking about is if you are in a club and you start dancing with a girl. Maybe you danced with her for 20 minutes and you're both getting hot and sweaty. I want someone to tell me what better way there is to get a girl isolated and in a better location than to take her to get a drink. Now you can take her by the hand (kino) and lead her to the bar and spend, heaven forbid, 20 bucks for a couple of drinks. Now you have a couple of Long Island Iced Teas (one will have the girl feeling really nice) and you can lead her by the hand again, to a more quiet table, have a seat, and start talking.

This to me is classy. Hanging out in a bar or club with a girl for more than a half an hour and you are not drinking makes you look like a cheesy cheap fukk. What are you gonna do, buy a drink and not offer her one? Yeah, that'll get you far.

I'm no super DJ but I can't tell you how many times this routine has led me to kiss closes and future dates.

Basically I don't want to see you guys blindly following a rule that I don't see has any real merit. Most of the theories on this site I haven't field tested, but buying a girl a drink has never in my life stopped me from pulling a chick. If anything it's been just the opposite.

Flame on guys lol

I've done this numerous times over the years myself. I'll go dance with a girl for a half an hour or so, lead her by hand to the bar, get her a drink, isolate her somewhere in the club, then # close. I've done that routine numerous times and it has worked well for me over the years.

Like everyone else said, that rule about buying girls drinks if for clueless guys that open girls by saying "hey wanna drink" or giving in to girls that demand a drink. That's two different scenarios.

The way I see it is that if I bought a girl a drink in a club, that means she did something to earn the drink.

I'm far from the best also, I'm learning this stuff like everyone else but I think in your scenario there is nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink in that scenario, I've done it and it's worked for me.

 

[JackPrescott]

Bottom line. IF there is chemistry, sexual chemistry, buy away. If she is playing BS Attention Wh0re games, let her buy her own $hit. Buy one for yourself and not one for her. Basically, if she is game for a kiss, or a LOT of dance floor grinding, and there is lots and lots of Kino, another round of margaritas please. IF she backs off when you go for a kiss, excuse yourself, and come back with ONE drink, and if she asks "where's mine?" Point the direction of the bar to her.

 

[BrotherAP]

DJ Lesson #5: Never buy a girl a drink

DJ Lesson #101: Rules are made to be broken.

Congratulations, you have stumbled upon a realization that it seems few get past - that if something works for you yet contradicts the rules, then you need to keep doing what is working because the rules aren't always right.

In fact, in almost every single success story I have, I broke one or more of the 'unbreakable' rules. I don't know if I could get laid without breaking a rule or two, come to think of it.

 

[TubularBells28]

Because you shouldn't need to buy a drink to number close a girl or what have you.

Instead, use your brain, not your wallet.

 

[PRMoon]

If I buy a girl a drink when i've met her, then she sure as hell had better be buying the second round. I don't know this person and at that point we're just aquaintences so it'd be like me buying a round of drinks for my friends and then rotating around the group.

...unless she wants to do shots, I'll pay for any girl who wants to do go shot for shot with me of anything over 70 proof. Chances are I'll reimburse myself with the money from their purse while they're passed out naked in my bed

 

[Porky]

I will tell you exactly why.

On Friday my girl and I and some friends went to a party. They had a big tray of jell-o shots, 1$ for two. I tap the keg, we're all having a good time, and she says to me "I want a jello shot!"

easy solution. "Go get that guy to buy you one" I said. she did. then we kissed in front of him.

do you want to be that chump?

of course not, and you clearly aren't.

your strategy sounds really good, but make sure the girl isn't just playing you for a fool. my girl and this guy were talking for a good 10 minutes at least (who knows, I lost track of time). 1 dollar isn't a lot of money, but it's the principle of it.

 

[syncmaster]

There's a time and a place for everything.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by TubularBells28
Because you shouldn't need to buy a drink to number close a girl or what have you.

Instead, use your brain, not your wallet.

Guys, this is sage advice; FROM A TEENAGER!!! Maybe because he can't buy alchohol in a club as of yet, but still it's good advice.

Think about it, if you offer her a drink and she accepts, how the heck do you know whether she's interested in you? All you've proven is that she wants a free drink!

So you want to isolate her, good tactic. Why not just say "Come on, let's find ourselves a spot." Use whatever kino you'd like and lead her somewhere. No drink necessary.

Now I'm sure some of you are are wondering what to say if she tells you that she's thirsty. Simple, say "You are really one of a kind, I'll have a rum and Coke; thanks!: YES, I've said this more than once and have gotten a drink each time.

So, back to the question about interest level; let's review... After dancing she follows you off the dancefloor to a secluded spot and buys you a drink. Hmmmm, still wondering if she's interested?

Like TubularBells said, use your brains.

 

[Maverick001]

Originally posted by ER!C L!VE
I won't buy a girl a drink as an ice breaker.

Agreed.

You`ve already presented her with a golden, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...meeting you. I`m not being facetious or egotistical here. I`m being as serious as a heart attack.

How many guys out there know how to handle a woman properly? How many guys out there know how to treat a woman properly? How many guys out there has she met that are good looking, intelligent, have it together and are fun to be with?

This is the girl`s lucky day. If she demonstrates that she`s worth getting to know and worth the investment of time and other things, then yes buy her a drink, take her out and spend money on her...as a reward and not as an opener. The rules in force are the only ones you want to follow and impose on yourself.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Because drinks cost $5 at most bars, which is a bloody ripoff.

 

[BuckwildNYC]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Guys, this is sage advice; FROM A TEENAGER!!! Maybe because he can't buy alchohol in a club as of yet, but still it's good advice.

Think about it, if you offer her a drink and she accepts, how the heck do you know whether she's interested in you? All you've proven is that she wants a free drink!

So you want to isolate her, good tactic. Why not just say "Come on, let's find ourselves a spot." Use whatever kino you'd like and lead her somewhere. No drink necessary.

Now I'm sure some of you are are wondering what to say if she tells you that she's thirsty. Simple, say "You are really one of a kind, I'll have a rum and Coke; thanks!: YES, I've said this more than once and have gotten a drink each time.

So, back to the question about interest level; let's review... After dancing she follows you off the dancefloor to a secluded spot and buys you a drink. Hmmmm, still wondering if she's interested?

Like TubularBells said, use your brains.

I hear what you are saying but %99 of the time after a half an hour of dancing I'm the one that wants a drink. So why should I go w/o my drink, just to avoid buying this chick a drink. Plus it's a proven fact that alcohol relaxes people and will get both of you in a great mood. And I definately agree with you that if she's the one that mentions drinks she should be buying, even though I hate to admit that I'd probably be like "don't worry I got it". It's not about supplicating, I just do it to be a gentleman. Plus, I hate looking cheap. I know some cheap bastards and it disgusts me. I know guys who you'll buy them a drink and then you'll see them at the bar later ordering themselves a drink and not getting you one. I never want to be that guy.

But, I think I'm gonna try taking your advice. The reason why most of us are here is because what we were doing wasn't working. Maybe what I think is being a gentleman, a girl is thinking I'm being a sucka. If the situation arises where the girl mentions drinks I will definately let her pay next time. I'll just reward her with a nice kiss

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by BuckwildNYC
and you can lead her by the hand again, to a more quiet table, have a seat, and start talking.

This is the big difference after you buy her a drink! You don't just buy a girl one and hope she will pay you attention just because of that... The drink should be just a small part of a bigger game play.

Buying a girl a drink is not a bad thing, it's what you do immediately afterwards that will make or break you.

Cheers

 

[nishbuk]

Personally I like the ideal that if you buy a girl a drink you should be rewarding her for "doing something right", after you have a lot of rapport going.

Even then, it shoudl be something like "Hey can I buy you a drink? I'll get this round, you get the next one. (wink)".

 

[\O/]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
Because drinks cost $5 at most bars, which is a bloody ripoff.

I wish!! Try 11-12$..

Atleast in most bars where i live...

Can't even get a beer for under 6$