Don’t Eat Pvssy

[h2o]

I’m sure there will be guys who will disagree with this, but I have very recently had an experience that could convince a few of you to reconsider.

I met this girl at the club a few nights ago, took her home, but we only made out and cuddled that night. Last night, she called me and came over. We went out to drink. She bought me dinner and several drinks.

Before I continue my story, I would like to share another quick tip that is somewhat related. I can comfortably say that I have some game, but if a girl is spending more than forty dollars on you in one night, and you don’t know her that well, you should be very very suspicious. In fact, she may be up to something, such as getting you drunk and having you **** her or go down on her on her period…

Anyhow, that is pretty much what happened. We get back to my place, and start making out…I start licking her neck, then tits, the kissing down her stomach, and I get to unzipping her pants and kissing above her pvssy…but something doesn’t smell right. At first, I think maybe she just hasn’t cleaned that well or something, so I go down a bit more and lick her pvssy a little…I shove in a few fingers…whatever I do, I can’t seem to be turned on by it, and she seems too wet. I say fvck it, and go to the bathroom. When I look in the mirror, I got blood on my hands, shirt, boxers, etc. FVCK!!!

So, basically, I tell her to get the out. I did it pretty calmly actually, but I freaked the hell out after she left.

Don’t put yourself through this. I came back from seeing the doctor, and I may not have anything, but I have to wait 2-3 weeks to be 100% sure. If I don’t get anything, which I am praying I don’t, I will be very lucky. Nonetheless, it’s not worth the stress and paranoia you could put yourself through, not to mention risking your entire life!

Here are excerpts from a thread posted some time ago, which relate to my experience and concur with my tip. In fact, I saw what they had written and decided it would be good to post it as a separate tip, because to be honest, I would not want others to make my idiotic mistake...

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by DJDamage
You need to be careful when you go down on chicks, they can always have something. I know a dude who once told me that he went down on a chick who had a strange taste and odur and he felt something wet and sticky on his face and nose, so after he was done he looked in the miror and his face was covered with blood. The chick never told him she was on her period!! that is messed up alright.

If you go down on a woman you don't know get some dental dams they come in different flavours so you won't taste a raunchy pvssy and it will also protect you from catching something if the woman is not clean and is not telling you.

http://scc.uchicago.edu/dentaldam.htm

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation
DJDamage is saying something really important you guys all need to remember

I know a dude who once told me that he went down on a chick who had a strange taste and odur and he felt something wet and sticky on his face and nose, so after he was done he looked in the miror and his face was covered with blood. The chick never told him she was on her period!!

i have heard of this too.

how many of you are eating women out in the dark where you can't see ?

multiply the amount of women you don juans are eating out X how often they have their periods X how long they have their periods = you guys might be eating more than you bargain for

just went to toilet 15 minutes ago and didn't wipe herself 100%

you now licking urine

a simple rule they use here in Australia is :

if it smells like trout get the f*ck out

i guess as i am getting older i don't see the point. or more likely it's the chicks i f*ck are just h0's so i am not going to do it for a million dollars because i know they are not legit.

if i had a decent girlfriend i probably would head south again

until then my company policy is :

" I never eat pu$$y cause i'm too stubborn in my ways " - MA$E

what PR_L said made me think too

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ You guys wont eat off of a spoon at a restaurant because it has a speckle of dust on it but you readily indulge in that which is covered infinitely worse in germs, disease, and sperm!!! Quit eating pvssy!!!! “


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their dycks is not in my picture. “

 

[comic_relief]

thanks for the advice...

better make sure my girl cleans up before I go down on her.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

whats so special about her period that means oyu cna catch somthing which you cant normaly?

 

[Deep Dish]

“Don’t Eat Pvssy”

I’m sure there will be guys who will disagree with this, but I have very recently had an experience that could convince a few of you to reconsider.

Eating a woman out can be a great experience and dining on a great cuisine is my favorite activity. Yes, if a woman’s smell down under is unpleasant, do not go there, extricate her from your bedroom, but that is far different from advising to never partake in the activity. Some simple foresight and a sniff test can steer a man clear from troublesome vaginas and enjoy with all heart’s content the good ones.

Funny, insightful, somewhat relevant quote from Camille Paglia’s book Sexual Personae:

Dionysus’ female chthonian swamp is inhabited by silent, swarming invertebrates. I proposed that the taboo attached to women is justified and that the infamous “uncleanness” of menstruation is due not to blood but to uterine jellies in that blood. The primal swamp is choked with menstrual albumen, the lukewarm matrix of nature, teeming with algae and bacteria. We have a food that symbolizes this swamp: raw clams on the half-shell. Twenty years ago, I noticed the strong emotions roused by this delicacy, to which few are indifferent. Common reactions range from ecstasy to revulsion. Why? The clam is a microcosm of the female hygra physis. It is as aesthetically and psychologically disturbing as menstural albumen. The primitive shapelessness of raw clams offers sensuous access to some archaic swamp-experience.

Botticelli’s Venus coasts to shore on the half-shell. Sexual love is a deep-sea diving into the timeless and elemental. G. Wilson Knight says, “Life rose from the sea. Our bodies are three parts water and our minds compacted of salty lusts.” Woman’s body reeks of the sea. Ferenczi says, “The genital secretion of the feamle among the higher mammals in man... possesses a distinctly fishy odor (odor of herring brine), according to the description of all physiologists; this odor of the vagina comes from the same substance (trimethylamine) as the decomposition of fish gives rise to.” Raw clams, I am convinced, have a latently cunnilingual character that many find repugnant. Eating a clam, fresh-killed, barely dead, is a barbarous, amorous plunging into mother nature’s cold salt sea.

Scatology and graffiti, in their perennial folk wisdom, rudely acknowledge woman’s marine character. Slang calls female genitals “the bearded clam.” Bawdy t-shirts and bumper stickers link fish-consumption with virility. Ivy League students recently traded the following ripostes, scratched in different hands on the wall of a library study stall: “Women smell like fish! Men smell like shìt! Do women like to smell fish? Do fish smell like women? Do fish like to smell women?”

 

[Spirit Fingers]

What the fvck is the matter with all of you. No wonder you have problems with women if you're so sexually squeamish.

-Dan

 

[aftershock]

Only go down on them if they are:

1) Clean
2) Shaved
3) A virgin (well, before they met you, anyway...)

 

[Drewgie]

I don't wanna give up on goin down since it turns both of us on. But if you pick up a girl and you're having sex with her for the first time how can you hint to her that she needs to be cleaner without hurting her feelings. IE: I don't wanna say "damn you're a stinky *****. Go clean that **** up"

 

[gettingstronger]

Originally posted by Avon
Don't eat pusssy, it might not be sterile.

Also, never eat food, it's crawling with bacteria. Avoid crossing the street, you might get hit by a bus. Never fall in love, you might get your heart broken.

Safest way to live is in a plastic bubble completely protecting you from the big scary world.

Word, dont lick it just stick it

 

[h2o]

check_mate_kid_uk: i think the only thing that there's a much higher risk of catching is HIV...but true, other than that, you run the same risk everytime ...my point was mainly there is always a risk, and i just ran into a yukky mess at the same time


Deep Dish: i don't know, at least for now and for a long time, i won't be doing it...i guess it's just preference

aftershock pretty much got what i was trying to say. i mean, i've gone down on girls before this, so i know that usually there's nothing wrong with it...but there's still a risk

rather, i guess i should have said...

don't go down on a girl, but if you choose to, make sure you ask her a few questions prior to (such as those requirements suggested by aftershock), and are more or less sober during the encounter

 

[Inquire]

did u get checked yet?

 

[Jaun_Don]

ahhhh lighten up y'all... it's called the "Dolmio Grin" think of it as spaghetti bolognaise :crackup:

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

I would never eat a ***** if the girl isnt my exclusive girlfriend.

 

[NewMan]

It's posts like this (In the Dj tips by the way) - that make me laugh and finally understand why you guys are not getting the prime pvssy.

I came back from seeing the doctor, and I may not have anything, but I have to wait 2-3 weeks to be 100% sure

what are you afraid of catching here?

So she didn't tell you she was on her period - b#tch her out severely, tell her that next time she's on the rag that she'd better fvcking tell you - then tell her to get down on her knees and suck your d#ck to make up for it.

Then slip on a rubber and fvck her (make sure you put a towel under her first).

Job done.

You just turn down a b#tch that you could be steadily fvcking here.

I suggest the mods move this post out of the DJ tips section.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

I eat p*ssy only if it doesn't smell like dead animal/fish, no visible signs of disease, and if she's not on her period.

That thing that happened to you, that's messed up, a normal girl is always self concious if she's having a period.

Dental dams may be a smart thing to suggest, but it's not always available in regular stores, what's regular is a "saran wrap" that's probably the next best thing.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Originally posted by NewMan
It's posts like this (In the Dj tips by the way) - that make me laugh and finally understand why you guys are not getting the prime pvssy.



what are you afraid of catching here?

So she didn't tell you she was on her period - b#tch her out severely, tell her that next time she's on the rag that she'd better fvcking tell you - then tell her to get down on her knees and suck your d#ck to make up for it.

Then slip on a rubber and fvck her (make sure you put a towel under her first).

Job done.

You just turn down a b#tch that you could be steadily fvcking here.

I suggest the mods move this post out of the DJ tips section.

Who made you king of the forums to suggest that this thread be moved out? It's a valid sexual tip for DJ noobs and alike.

And that slipping on a rubber and having sex with her on the period, I dunno what your standards are, but screw that. I can wait.

 

[NewMan]

Who made you king of the forums

I just did.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

This reminds me of the time a girl gave me head. She went down, sniffed a bit, then gave me a strained smile, and asked if we could "just cuddle".

Later I found out from her friend that my balls stank like sh*t that night. Seems like I'd forgotten to shower after the gym, and the sweat was still clinging pretty bad.

 

[h2o]

Yeah, I got checked but it's too early to tell yet.

Yeah, this is probably not a great tip because like I said it's not something that everyone would follow.

My main point was BE CAREFUL. I definitely did something stupid, and I posted this in retrospect. I've gone down on girls before, so it's not like I just have a passion for hating it. But this experience made me think twice. Not because this experience was any worse in risk of catching anything, but for some reason it did make me open my eyes to that possibility.

So what I'm saying is, next time you are going to go down on a girl (I mean, if I ever do again...which I doubt, but if), make sure she's clean. That means, hopefully she's yours exclusively, and even then there could be problems, because you seriously don't know 100% if she's cheated. Sure that sounds stupid, but still. Anyway, I'd say if you've been together long enough, you should know if she's been checked, what for, and what kind of experiences she's had in the past.

NewMan, no, she wasn't prime pvssy...but you gotta realize that not all of us are getting prime pvssy. Sorry, next time I won't post this in tips, unless I'm getting prime pvssy. I didn't b#tch her out severly...I just told her "I'm pissed, get out...get your stuff and go." I did pretty calmly actually, but it did the trick very well, and that's why she was crying. Anyway, sure, I could still be fvcking her, but there's other fish in the sea, and I really don't have to.

I'll get another chick as easily as I want to, but that's not my point here. And like I said, this "tip" is a bit jumbled and nonsensical, but for the most part I'm saying be careful and take precautions. Don't be stupid like me. DonJuanMonk also had a good tip: use saranwrap

Another reason I was so freaked by this is that I went back and read what PRL had written about the speckle of dust on a utensil at a restaurant. I seriously wouldn't eat with that. That's why it struck a cord with me. Because I'm guilty of asking for another utensil if it has a dot on it, but then I go and eat pvssy without taking precautions. Just don't do that, unless you really like eating pvssy.