Recently I have met a new girl. I approached her. We have been exchanging texts for about a month. then we had 2 dates. She baked profiteroles and brought them for me. they were amazing.
I try to keep flirting etc.
She always positively responses and support convs. But she almost never initiates texts or never calls first. in about 2 months she only initiated maybe 3 times. Does this mean she is not interested at all ? Is it worth or needed not to text her first and see if she is interested ?
Advice from the old lady:
I think much of the guidance you have been given is misguided.
You do NOT ghost a woman like this. You'll confuse her and ultimately lose her. She is not going to initiate texts or calls. You are the man. Lead. Own your role.
RESPONSIVENESS is what you look for. A woman with conservative values who has high interest will always respond when you contact her. This woman is responsive. She likes you. She even told you of course she likes you or she wouldn't be spending time with you.
Have you gone a bit wobbly? Yes, you have. You can tighten that up however.
This woman is a virgin. She is a conservative minded family oriented woman. She understands she has something of great value to offer (chastity and good morals & character.)
Few men on these boards know what to do with a woman like this. Many here will tell you if she isn't going to jump your bones right away...move along. These same men then turn around and complain that there are no good women.
Um. There are good women. But the guard your heart/just have sex crowd screens these women out unwittingly because a woman like this is feminine and demure.
Her family has taught her (as I was taught and as I am teaching my children), that a lady does not call a gentleman; that hussies & slvts & floozies call, text & chase after men. A woman like this guards her reputation and expects a man to show interest through initiation of contact.
She shows her reciprocal interest through RESPONDING.
She expects you to lead (masculine role) so she can follow (feminine role.). So you lead; she follows. That is the natural order of things.
A feminine woman of good character will have lots of choices. If you start sending mixed signals by playing games she will simply go out with someone else who will assume the masculine role & lead.
I do think you are texting too much. Slow down. Reach out every few days. Let her respond (who cares how long it takes). When she responds, make plans. Then wait to see her at the date.
You made clear you are not accepting the friend zone. You also made clear your displeasure about her working when you thought you had a date (set the date up very clearly next time.). But generally you talk to much and get insecure in your own head.
Stop it.
She needs time to get comfortable with seeing you. This is a GOOD thing. It means she is careful about intimacy (and has the ability to bond & create intimacy.). She is NOT jaded or damaged.
I wrote a thread about this very thing called How to Spot a Unicorn. Obviously the term "Unicorn" is a metaphor. The thread has some silly stuff in it but it is about exactly this type of situation.
I'll get excoriated perhaps for promoting it but go read the first posts in that thread.
The very best girls with high interest will look like low interest because they will never chase you. They will expect you to lead. Then they respond in an encouraging way.
That appears to me to be what is going on here. Relax, chill out, slow down. Lead. Let her respond. Ask her out for a clear date, and then have a date & escalate. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Don't overthink or communicate too much. Don't play games. You'll confuse her & blow it. Lead but understand less is more.
