Does this girl have histrionic personality disorder?

[Mysterious_Learner]

Hello, guys. I have something that really bugs me that I want to talk about here.

There's this girl (17-18 years old), and a family friend of ours, who sounds like the type of girl that you guys constantly warn against - the type with one of the Cluster B personality disorders. I have a strong feeling that what she has specifically is the histrionic type. Let me list some of the behaviours she has exhibited in my presence, and I hope the experts here confirm to me whether or not she does based on what I state. She happens to be my brother's girlfriend, by the way.

* She is normally a very shy and quiet girl, with not much to say when in social gatherings. She is not always a big talker. But still she manages to catch the attention of every man (married or not) around her! And it's not her looks that does it (although she is above average in beauty) ... it's her body language! She walks and sits in a way that tells men that she's an innocent and shy virgin ready to be taken by any man willing to deflower her. There was one time (I was at her place sitting and socializing with her family) when she sat across from me, had her body faced towards me, slowly unbuckled the belt of her bathrobe, opened her robe slowly (in case you're wondering, no, she had extra clothes under the robe), and then caressed the belt of her robe in a sexually arousing way. All this to get my attention since I was not paying her much attention. It was very shocking to me. Her parents and grandmother were there, but I don't think any of them noticed what she was trying to do, or else she would have been in big trouble, espeically since her parents are fundamental Christians and they happen to be very protective of their children.

* Another time (when I was again at their place) I was helping her father out in something outside in the backyard. And she was inside the house. Then, suddenly, she approached us outside with a pissed look on her face (because she was not happy being alone inside) and she started to do very weird movements in front of us. Like walking in a macho but humorous way and throwing and kicking stuff on the ground. I look at her father to see his reaction, and I could tell that he was used to this behaviour from his daughter by the way that he tried to bore it with patience. It's as if he is already aware that there's something wrong with her. Anyway, what an extreme way to get attention!

* Also, there have been several times when she would come on to me (for no particular reason) and starts flirting strongly with me. Even in front of her parents and my brother (her boyfriend)! And, although I admit I find this all flattering, I knew very well that what she was doing was very inconsiderate and selfish. And even when I kept rejecting her advances in my responses to her, she'd still continue to flirt with me. She even hinted (in front of my brother) that I'd make a good husband to her! Plus she tried to find a way to get with me alone with her, which (funnily enough) led to my brother giving me the fierce look (instead of giving it to his girlfriend). In other words, she is one shameless flirt who doesn't give a damn about my brother's feelings.

* She is also very demanding and wants me to do silly and unnecessary favors for her. At first, I used to agree to do some of the favors for her because I used to stupidly think she was sincerely in need of help. But later on, I refused to do any of her favors and requests (since I figured out how insincere she could really be). Despite my rejections, she still manages to find an excuse to ask me to help her out in some things, like calling her boss for her and asking him if she should really go to work in her uniform!!!

* Despite the fact her Christian parents told her about how kissing before marriage is a sin, she actually once emailed my brother asking him to go pick her up from school as an excuse to be with her alone, suggesting they hold hands and kiss before going down. Now, while I know that my brother excitedly agreed to go pick her up from school, I don't know what they actually did after that, but the point is: as a Christian girl, she disrespected her parents and led my brother (who is also a Christian) to disrespect them also. They actually trust him a lot! If they knew what was actually going on, they'd be very pissed.

* And in case you haven't figured it out, my brother is the typical "nice guy". He has given all the power to that teenage girl and he does everything she tells him to. Keep in mind that she never orders him to do things for her. She just sweetly but mischievously manipulates him into doing stuff for her and he does it with joy. To be honest, she does do sweet things for him (like giving him a present on his birthday or getting him a free meal from her work when he goes topick her up from work) but it's never as much as he gives to her. He is hopelessly in love with her while she is simply just having some fun being in his company, ready to ditch him when the right opportunity arises.

* From what I know, she had a couple of secret boyfriends (if not more) before she got involved with my brother. I said secret because her parents don't know about it. And I wouldn't be surprised if she has a secret lover besides my brother! Oh, yes, one thing: I have another younger brother ... and guess what? They used to be in a special but secret relationship years ago. And although it was nothing sexual and serious, thank God he was smart enough to dump her.

* She has told my brothers and my sister stories about how she always gets bullied at school without ever telling them why exactly. She makes herself the victim and the everyone else at school the bad guys. She even told them once that she was knocked unconscious. But she fails to give details! I have a strong feeling she is making it all up. Typical of histrionic personality disorder people.

* She has no personality! It's empty! What I mean is ... she has no opinion of her own! It's always based on what others think. And when asked about why she "thinks" what she "thinks", she just gives me vague childish "explanations".

* I feel she is very influenced by me in many ways. I always notice her mimicking certain behaviours of mine. For example, I used to burp out loud in front of her and her family just to give 'em a few laughs. And most of the family did laugh. Yes, it's stupid, I know. I have stopped doing it after her father complained to me about it. Yet one time (after I had already stopped doing it) she burps out loud and then looks at me with a sneaky grin! Now this was a very silly example, but the point is ... she mimics my behaviour! She even roared once in front of me because I once did the roar thing with her once (just for fun).

* And while I have many other things to tell about her, let me end it here by saying that lately she acts as if she doesn't acknowledge me anymore, and I mean not even as a friend. And this is for no particular reason. Which has left me a bit disturbed and led me to type this post after doing research on borderline/histrionic personality disorders (having been influenced by some of the posts here in this forum about the cluster B girls). Seriously, I thank God that, while I do find her attractive, I'm not interested so much in her or else I would've been so attached to her to the point that I wouldn't be able to escape her trap. And if you want to know, my interest is in another girl (which explains my lack of interest in the girl of this topic).

Now, I want to know, can you clearly tell whether or not she has histrionic just by what I stated? And if so, should I let my brother know about this, knwoing that this could cause even greater tension between me and him (we don't get alone well, but I do care about him)? Or should I stay silent?

Thanks in advance for any answers posted in this thread.

 

[DarthAngel707]

Wow, I'm surprised how deeply analytical you are in personality disorders. You also have a really good memory. Have you been reading the DSMV-IV?

And yes, from a person who has a bi-polar sister I do believe she is histronic. Sharing with your brother would also be a good thing so he doesn't misunderstand you. Bros before hos, literally!

 

[decades]

yes it does sound like a classic example of HPD.

 

[KontrollerX]

Yes she absolutely positively 110% fits the profile.

You gave more than enough information to confirm it.

A lot of therapists hate dealing with the personality disordered because they are so resistant to change so often only diagnose the person with depression if they come in to see a therapist and then they basically wash their hands of the HPD client.

Or worse some therapists are morons and do not believe the Cluster B personality disorders even exist which is why its always best to send these people to a specialist on the personality disorders instead of a regular mental health professional.

A lot of regular therapists are victimized by these people as regularly as everyone else because they are not equipped at dealing with such a manipulative person.

Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer were both sociopaths which today is listed as a Cluster B personality disorder along with HPD. All of these people are pretty much cut from the same cloth of emptiness and putting on a mask of normalcy for society to believe in and fall in love with. The difference being that most of the Cluster B people unlike Dahmer and Ted Bundy do not kill people physically. Rather they kill people emotionally and financially as they often take the form of corrupt business men and women or get into the caring professions like becoming a social worker and they wreak a tremendous amount of destruction on society because all of them are callous and selfish and are only in their jobs for the attention they can get.

An HPD and a BPD are not sociopaths in the full sense of the term but like a sociopath they are basically empty and put on the mask of sanity to fool society with to get what they want.

This is what makes them so horrible and dangerous in my opinion.

While smart people know the score and know what an HPD is, a lot of people with power only see the beautiful fun loving girl and that can allow her to get away with hurting people in many ways and not being stopped for a very long time.

They do eventually burn their bridges with enough of their social network that they have to move on but all they leave is a pile of emotional wreckage in their wake.

An analogy I love to use for these women is "the one ring" from Lord of the Rings.

A guy who is unaware of what he is dealing with who encounters this type of woman and is her target will begin to think of her as precious to him because of how intense, perfect and seemingly loving and sexual her personality disorder makes her act. The would be victim also gets the idea of a childlike innocence about her which she conveys onto him either consciously or unconsciously which makes him very protective of her which sadly helps them to manipulate our protector provider instincts bringing us closer to them and more loyal while they are not loyal to us at all.

As time goes on we waste more emotions and time on these worthless empty emotional vampires and lash out at someone we perceive as trying to take away the precious similarly to how Gollum acted and everyone else who was around "the one ring" for any length of time and eventually the more we are around this sick girl feeding her needs and attention wants the more we diminish and feel we are becoming her and when we become too much of her she becomes sickened because she can finally see her own ugliness through us and so leaves us behind shocked and damaged while she goes onto another victim all happy like it never happened between you two.

Your brother is in for a world of pain and will probably apologize to you profusely when all is said and done.

She will leave him suddenly at the moment he needs her the most and he will have post traumatic stress disorder from the relationship's end and the sudden loss of it after such an intense connection.

When it happens please be gentle with the guy and let him know you understood what she was all along but knew you could never get through to him he was so in love and also let him know you forgive him for his lashing out with you via the fierce stare. Trust me he will be suffering enough to not have to deal with any extra pain of having to repair his relationship with you.

I've read many heartbreaking stories on the forum I used to moderate about these people of their victims committing suicide because on the day they were scheduled to be married the HPD bailed on the guy for a brand new soulmate with no warning whatsoever the relationship was about to go down and she was about to run off with someone else. So yeah please be gentle with your brother when it ends and be there for him making sure you get some help for him if you hear any suicidal talk. Take it very serious.

She is so attracted to you and gets moreso this way because you refuse to give into her like all the other men.

This would make her leave your brother for you but please never give in to her.

It won't last.

She wants to conquer you.

She doesn't love you or your brother or herself.

She only cares about getting attention and winning her stupid childish games none of her victims know they are even playing.

 

[Mysterious_Learner]

Wow, I'm surprised how deeply analytical you are in personality disorders. You also have a really good memory. Have you been reading the DSMV-IV?

And yes, from a person who has a bi-polar sister I do believe she is histronic. Sharing with your brother would also be a good thing so he doesn't misunderstand you. Bros before hos, literally!

I have lately been doing a lot of research online on the Cluster B personality disorders which explains the knowledge I have. And this all thanks to the posts in this forum that have informed me that such personality disorders exist. And no, I haven't read the DSMV-IV.

About my memory, yes, I have a good memory. Probably due to the fact I'm autistic (high-functioning, obviously).

Thanks for your input. I'm trying to figure out how to share this with my brother without offending him.

 

[Mysterious_Learner]

Yes she absolutely positively 110% fits the profile.

You gave more than enough information to confirm it.

A lot of therapists hate dealing with the personality disordered because they are so resistant to change so often only diagnose the person with depression if they come in to see a therapist and then they basically wash their hands of the HPD client.

Or worse some therapists are morons and do not believe the Cluster B personality disorders even exist which is why its always best to send these people to a specialist on the personality disorders instead of a regular mental health professional.

A lot of regular therapists are victimized by these people as regularly as everyone else because they are not equipped at dealing with such a manipulative person.

Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer were both sociopaths which today is listed as a Cluster B personality disorder along with HPD. All of these people are pretty much cut from the same cloth of emptiness and putting on a mask of normalcy for society to believe in and fall in love with. The difference being that most of the Cluster B people unlike Dahmer and Ted Bundy do not kill people physically. Rather they kill people emotionally and financially as they often take the form of corrupt business men and women or get into the caring professions like becoming a social worker and they wreak a tremendous amount of destruction on society because all of them are callous and selfish and are only in their jobs for the attention they can get.

An HPD and a BPD are not sociopaths in the full sense of the term but like a sociopath they are basically empty and put on the mask of sanity to fool society with to get what they want.

This is what makes them so horrible and dangerous in my opinion.

While smart people know the score and know what an HPD is, a lot of people with power only see the beautiful fun loving girl and that can allow her to get away with hurting people in many ways and not being stopped for a very long time.

They do eventually burn their bridges with enough of their social network that they have to move on but all they leave is a pile of emotional wreckage in their wake.

An analogy I love to use for these women is "the one ring" from Lord of the Rings.

A guy who is unaware of what he is dealing with who encounters this type of woman and is her target will begin to think of her as precious to him because of how intense, perfect and seemingly loving and sexual her personality disorder makes her act. The would be victim also gets the idea of a childlike innocence about her which she conveys onto him either consciously or unconsciously which makes him very protective of her which sadly helps them to manipulate our protector provider instincts bringing us closer to them and more loyal while they are not loyal to us at all.

As time goes on we waste more emotions and time on these worthless empty emotional vampires and lash out at someone we perceive as trying to take away the precious similarly to how Gollum acted and everyone else who was around "the one ring" for any length of time and eventually the more we are around this sick girl feeding her needs and attention wants the more we diminish and feel we are becoming her and when we become too much of her she becomes sickened because she can finally see her own ugliness through us and so leaves us behind shocked and damaged while she goes onto another victim all happy like it never happened between you two.

Your brother is in for a world of pain and will probably apologize to you profusely when all is said and done.

She will leave him suddenly at the moment he needs her the most and he will have post traumatic stress disorder from the relationship's end and the sudden loss of it after such an intense connection.

When it happens please be gentle with the guy and let him know you understood what she was all along but knew you could never get through to him he was so in love and also let him know you forgive him for his lashing out with you via the fierce stare. Trust me he will be suffering enough to not have to deal with any extra pain of having to repair his relationship with you.

I've read many heartbreaking stories on the forum I used to moderate about these people of their victims committing suicide because on the day they were scheduled to be married the HPD bailed on the guy for a brand new soulmate with no warning whatsoever the relationship was about to go down and she was about to run off with someone else. So yeah please be gentle with your brother when it ends and be there for him making sure you get some help for him if you hear any suicidal talk. Take it very serious.

She is so attracted to you and gets moreso this way because you refuse to give into her like all the other men.

This would make her leave your brother for you but please never give in to her.

It won't last.

She wants to conquer you.

She doesn't love you or your brother or herself.

She only cares about getting attention and winning her stupid childish games none of her victims know they are even playing.

Thanks, KontrollerX, for your very informative post. I read some of your other posts on this topic, so I had a feeling you would reply here also.

Yes, you're right. I will go very gentle with my brother. Actually, I'm ready to forgive him and already waiting for that time when he and I will be good brothers again (like we used to be before). And I am very aware that the girl doesn't love me nor my brother. I just want to "rescue" my brother from this deep **** that he is in.

By the way, forgot to add most of her friends are males, which even confirms our point even further. Her only close female friends I'm aware of are her sister and my sister.