Does "No Contact" really work?

[My Name is Nobody]

It was over with this woman a long time ago after the drama unfolded when we first hooked up.. She just has been making me think I still have a chance with her... stringing me along.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

She is saying she cant forgive me for the "horrible things" I said after she threw me out. Yeah I was cussing her out who the hell wouldnt? She still wont tell me or acknowledge the reason I was thrown out in the first place.

 

[drmeathead]

no contact doesnt work in getting the girl back. it does help in getting the girl out of your system. the reason you stop talking with her is because she isnt in to you. so why would she come back? no contact only a good thing for you to get over her.

i am assuming no contact is not talking to her for more than two weeks. letting her pursue you in under two weeks time does work and is a key part of the game.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Hey My Name is Nobody, just sit back and ask yourself honestly are you really enjoying this? I mean, the way I see it is you can deal with this chick and all her drama and a potential sexual harassment suit or you can just avoid the situation all together by evoking the "no contact" rule you first brought up. It is really this simple. Just chalk up the whole thing to experience and move on. I know after bad breakups I am best at going out and picking up other females. I operate with the sort of reckless abandonment I sometimes have trouble finding.

Though, I have a feeling you are one of these types who has to learn things the hard way. I was the same way. When I was an AFC, I nearly transferred colleges for some girl who I wasn't even dating. She was just the only female who had ever given me enough attention close enough to what some might consider a girlfriend. She threw me out of her dorm room and made a fool out of me like this girl has done to you. She ended up transferring schools and warmed up to me again after she arrived at her new college and didn't know any guys. I nearly transferred early that semester just to follow her, and If I would have actually done it, I would have lost a scholarship I had. I ended up not doing it because my track coaches and a couple of my teammates pulled me aside one day and explained to me how big of an idiot I was being. Regardless of their pleas, I still applied for a transfer but never followed through with it because the girl told me to "fvcking get lost" or something along those lines.

Anyway, keep playing with fire. I'll be here hoping that you can avoid getting third-degree burns just as I did.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You are right. This breakup has motivated me to go out and sarge. I already started. Tomorrow I have a plan to ride around my town and hit on every girl I see. Will I do it is another question but I sure feel like doing it. I know I can do it I have done it before.

I already got a new # today....granted it was from an online "meet" but whatever. It's a #. Why couldn't I do this before I blew it with this girl? I have a problem that I don't like focusing on different women at the same time. I wasn't raised to be a DJ man. My parents have been together 50 years my grandparents were together 60 years. When I am interested in 1 girl I don't have interest in anyone else. This is my problem. It is what I have been surrounded by my whole life. Nobody in my family is a DJ. Everyone is married. Except my uncles who have been married 5 times but I don't want to go down that road at all.

 

[MikeYikes122]

I have a problem that I don't like focusing on different women at the same time. I wasn't raised to be a DJ man. My parents have been together 50 years my grandparents were together 60 years. When I am interested in 1 girl I don't have interest in anyone else. This is my problem.

Dude that is a lame excuse. My dad raised me to be a complete pvssy. He never taught me to stand up for myself, and he never taught me what it was to be a man. He never even had a conversation about sex with me. Luckily, I was raised in the age of the Internet, and I stumbled across this stuff when I was 19. The only thing that I had going for me was that I was outgoing and not socially awkward.

Psychologists say shyness is a learned behavior that is not something a person is simply born with. Rather, it is something an individual learns over time as a product of his or her surroundings. Confidence and "DJ Behavior" works in much of the same way. It's all learned behavior. "Naturals" aren't really naturally confident and "DJ". They learn it because of their surroundings and their upbringing. You and anyone else can learn it just as they did at a young age.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Dude that is a lame excuse. My dad raised me to be a complete pvssy. He never taught me to stand up for myself, and he never taught me what it was to be a man. He never even had a conversation about sex with me. Luckily, I was raised in the age of the Internet, and I stumbled across this stuff when I was 19. The only thing that I had going for me was that I was outgoing and not socially awkward.

Psychologists say shyness is a learned behavior that is not something a person is simply born with. Rather, it is something an individual learns over time as a product of his or her surroundings. Confidence and "DJ Behavior" works in much of the same way. It's all learned behavior. "Naturals" aren't really naturally confident and "DJ". They learn it because of their surroundings and their upbringing. You and anyone else can learn it just as they did at a young age.

Don't get me wrong. I was raised the exact same way as you. I learned the DJ ways. How do you think I have been getting laid these past few years? I was a straight p/ssy before I found this site. I laid 2 girls when I found this site. 1 from high school and 1 desperate divorcee who used me as a rebound.

Since this site I am up to 10 women. That is 8 lays in about 3 years. Not bad if you ask me! Plus I was in a relationship for a couple years so I wasn't trying to DJ. I am getting there. The problem is I LIKED this girl... I caught feelings big mistake.

 

[MikeYikes122]

I remember having the feelings you're having with my first girlfriend (the aforementioned chic who threw me out of her dorm room). I know how you feel. I remember freaking out in the same way and living and dying on her every word and action. I can't really describe the mindset that I had, but I would overpost on Internet forums and cry to friends all the time just like you are.

Eventually, you just snap out of it. I can't explain what I mean by this, but you'll just stop giving a sh!t about girlfriends or any girls for that matter. Internally something inside of you will just recognize that life is too short to give a damn. I don't know this for sure, but I am kind of getting the impression you're tying your self-worth to this girl. That will go away with time as you learn confidence. You'll also begin to stop seeking external validation completely. I'll admit that I am not at the point where I don't care about all forms of external validation, but I think I am getting there.

If you keep your head up and cut her off completely out of your thoughts and your actions, I think you'll move a step closer to learning "DJ behavior" as you say.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I remember having the feelings you're having with my first girlfriend (the aforementioned chic who threw me out of her dorm room). I know how you feel. I remember freaking out in the same way and living and dying on her every word and action. I can't really describe the mindset that I had, but I would overpost on Internet forums and cry to friends all the time just like you are.

Eventually, you just snap out of it. I can't explain what I mean by this, but you'll just stop giving a sh!t about girlfriends or any girls for that matter. Internally something inside of you will just recognize that life is too short to give a damn. I don't know this for sure, but I am kind of getting the impression you're tying your self-worth to this girl. That will go away with time as you learn confidence. You'll also begin to stop seeking external validation completely. I'll admit that I am not at the point where I don't care about all forms of external validation, but I think I am getting there.

If you keep your head up and cut her off completely out of your thoughts and your actions, I think you'll move a step closer to learning "DJ behavior" as you say.

Well believe it or not this situation made me go out and sarge and I am talking to a 21 yr old hottie right now. This woman could have just done me a great favor! Maybe I should thank her. Nothing like getting dumped to make you go out there and meet more women!
I just need to come through and close the deal to put this ordeal behind me.


My mission is to turn this horrible experience into something positive and set a good example. I'm on the way let's see if I can do it! Stay tuned....

 

[wjh]

Wait, you're hinging your growth on whether or not you can close a deal with this new 21 year old? That's so short-sighted man.

 

[Paradox]

Closed per My Name is Nobody's request

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Thanking the girl that dumped you

It sucks when a girl dumps you I can't even describe the feeling. Especially when you have to see her everyday at work. And you have "feelings" for her. Whatever that means. It's the worst feeling in the world! You want to move on and forget her but she is right there in your face!

So I am going out and hitting on every girl I see and I am talking to a new girl who seems really cool. She doesn't have any baggage and I hope to go out with her soon.

The point of this thread is that getting dumped is a blessing in disguise. Think about it! Don't feel depressed and sit around when a girl dumps you. Make it your mission to overcome it and turn it into a positive experience. That is what I am going to do.

 

[Latinoman]

Is this the same divorcee woman that kicked you out of her house very late at night when you were still drunk and it was very cold outside?

How can you even develop feelings for something like that? And worst...why didn't YOU dump HER after what she did to you?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Is this the same divorcee woman that kicked you out of her house very late at night when you were still drunk and it was very cold outside?

How can you even develop feelings for something like that? And worst...why didn't YOU dump HER after what she did to you?

You don't know the whole story my man. I used her to make my ex leave me alone.

My ex had plans with me and I ditched her and f/cked this woman all night in my house. Then my ex stalked me and got in this womans face and scared her off.

So she dumped me but strung me along for a couple months making me think I still have a chance. But now she says she never wants to see me again.

I lost because I hated my ex but I really liked this new girl. I wish my ex never was in the picture because I would be happy right now with this new woman.

I don't blame her for her actions I acted like a piece of sh!t and she knows it.

Understand? You think it's simple but you are wrong.

 

[Metro3pilot]

How about you pass that pipe when you're done hitting it ?


:rockon:

 

[Latinoman]

I had an Ex get in a woman I was seeing face and she didn't get scared off. In fact, the ex screamed at her in front of a lot of people. Bad, bad scene. And still...that woman did NOT leave me. Why? Because when a woman TRULY wants to be with a man...they will do whatever it takes to be with that man. Especially if they view that man as The Prize.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

How about you pass that pipe when you're done hitting it ?


:rockon:

What the hell are you talking about? I wish I had some weed to smoke right now I could use it.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I had an Ex get in a woman I was seeing face and she didn't get scared off. In fact, the ex screamed at her in front of a lot of people. Bad, bad scene. And still...that woman did NOT leave me. Why? Because when a woman TRULY wants to be with a man...they will do whatever it takes to be with that man. Especially if they view that man as The Prize.

Keep in mind the new woman I was with JUST got divorced and was DUMPED by a husband who cheated on her and abused her.

So I don't blame her for not wanting to get involved with another a$$hole.

Do you?

 

[Latinoman]

I don't and won't rationalize her behavior. It means nothing to me. All I know is that she doesn't want to be with you (and she disrespects you) and you STILL thinking and talking about her.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I don't and won't rationalize her behavior. It means nothing to me. All I know is that she doesn't want to be with you (and she disrespects you) and you STILL thinking and talking about her.

Yeah because I f/kked up. What am I supposed to do not recognize I messed up? I had a good thing and it's gone. In her eyes I am another cheating lying jerk. Even though I want to be with her now, I would probably cheat and lie to her in the future. She is making the right decision man. It's the truth. She doesn't want a DJ, she wants someone who will always be there for her.

I am recognizing my mistake and learning from it. That's why I posted this thread. I will think about this until I meet someone better and I am on track to do that.