Does it look bad to enter a bar by yourself??
- Thread starter Mayfly
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WC2
Master Don Juan
It's not about who you're with, but who you are. You can walk into a bar with 10 friends and still look unappetizing to women. Don't be timid. If you're walking into the bar by yourself, that gives you even more reason to stare every woman in the eyes and give her a nice smirk or a smile.
Delta
Master Don Juan
going to a bar with a band playing is an awesome way to try to get out and be social by yourself.
if nothing else, you're there for the band.
it works with jazz but personally, i don't like jazz that much and i feel self conscious cuz i'm not enjoying it. if you have a local joint that hosts local rock bands and stuff, that's an awesome way to get out.
i've even thought about following a particular band that i like as a way of getting to know new places.
delta
if nothing else, you're there for the band.
it works with jazz but personally, i don't like jazz that much and i feel self conscious cuz i'm not enjoying it. if you have a local joint that hosts local rock bands and stuff, that's an awesome way to get out.
i've even thought about following a particular band that i like as a way of getting to know new places.
delta
It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
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I don't really have that much of a problem with it.... especially if it's a bar where nobody knows me.
We need to get over what other people think about us, anyhow.
We need to get over what other people think about us, anyhow.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Who cares? You go to the bar to get drunk. If you drink alone you're an alcy so if you're at the bar you're no longer alone. GET WASTED and have a good time. The rest will sort itself out.
Is the best idea to go in and start socializing right away or just walk around the place a little bit, make some eye contact, and then go at it? Plus girls are never alone at bars, they are always in groups. Then should I approach the group?
PigAdlemPimp
Senior Don Juan
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I only ever sarge alone, I hate having other dudes that I know around, it just adds to the pressure, though it is great if you have hot babe female freinds with you, as the other HB's who are there will respond to you alot more positively. 
Delta
Master Don Juan
Mayfly said:
see, this is why this question is so apt - it's not just about walking into the bar. that's easy.
but WHAT WILL YOU DO while you are there and there is no band there? you can have a seat at the bar and order a drink but you have no "home base" of friends that you can return to after every approach.
if you get shot down, where next? do you keep bouncing from one to another to another? that looks not only desperate but ridiculous.
i've thought maybe the BARTENDER could serve as a home base.
heck, you can't even smoke anymore!
in any case, unless there is something else there, i don't think a bar by yourself is ideal.
you can do it for a short duration with a couple of approaches or a chat at the bar but beyond that, you just can't justify your presence there anymore and it looks awkward.
delta
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
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Good idea by Delta going to see a band playing, most of the people there are usually just looking at the band most of the time, so you can stand any where and just watch the band if you are not talking to someone. When i go to see bands playing i could easily be percieved as being there by myself even though i'm not, my friends next to me could just as well be strangers for all anybody else cares. I have found going to see bands playing are the most sociable situations for talking too strangers, i haven't been for a while but when i went with a large group of friends i just found people coming up to talk to me all the time (not just me, people where just taking to everyone) and i hardly spoke to my friends all night.
The thing about bars though that there is no focal point of attention, so people being there on there own tend to have no one to look at, cos in bars most people there are in a social situation talking to each other or buying drinks, so the best thing to do is just stand at the bar and talk to people as they come by or just jump into groups of people and begin talking to them depending on how confident you are in these situations. But i suppose you will gain confidence by experience. The best thing do do is to get in a very good mood before you go out whatever you need to do then just acting and looking happy will be enough for people to want to talk to you.
If you feel uncomfortable there, you will look uncomfortable and just be the weirdo standing over there. If you are comfortable you will be the cool mo fo standing over there
The thing about bars though that there is no focal point of attention, so people being there on there own tend to have no one to look at, cos in bars most people there are in a social situation talking to each other or buying drinks, so the best thing to do is just stand at the bar and talk to people as they come by or just jump into groups of people and begin talking to them depending on how confident you are in these situations. But i suppose you will gain confidence by experience. The best thing do do is to get in a very good mood before you go out whatever you need to do then just acting and looking happy will be enough for people to want to talk to you.
If you feel uncomfortable there, you will look uncomfortable and just be the weirdo standing over there. If you are comfortable you will be the cool mo fo standing over there
the_milkman
Don Juan
If you're experienced and (most importantly) cool enough, it can only be an advantage to enter a bar alone.
You'll be perceived as the cool, independent (since you don't have to rely on others) lone wolf. Most women still love the "Marlboro man" kind of rugged, masculine loner.
You'll be perceived as the cool, independent (since you don't have to rely on others) lone wolf. Most women still love the "Marlboro man" kind of rugged, masculine loner.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Well here are the results from my trip to the bar last night...
I went with two female friends, they are both HB5 if I had to rank them on the scale. We went to a place 15 mins away, and when we entered, I got a bad vibe on the place. The girls loved it since they knew some people but I just got a bad feeling about it. Every guy there was trying to act like a tough guy, a loser, or a wigger. The girls were all like HB3.5 or lower, and all like 30 years old. Not a good experience.
I went with two female friends, they are both HB5 if I had to rank them on the scale. We went to a place 15 mins away, and when we entered, I got a bad vibe on the place. The girls loved it since they knew some people but I just got a bad feeling about it. Every guy there was trying to act like a tough guy, a loser, or a wigger. The girls were all like HB3.5 or lower, and all like 30 years old. Not a good experience.
Delta
Master Don Juan
marlboro man is one thing but the social stigma of being alone as in "why is he alone? doesn't he have any friends? what is so wrong with him that he has to be alone?"
it seems to me that that is how a woman's mind works. this is why we have such emphasis on social proof.
not saying it can't work.
it can, especially if you're there for a drink to wind down after work or something like that. but it seems to me that you can justify your presence no more than for the couple of drinks or so you intended to have. after that, you gotta move along or risk appearing in a way you don't want.
delta
it seems to me that that is how a woman's mind works. this is why we have such emphasis on social proof.
not saying it can't work.
it can, especially if you're there for a drink to wind down after work or something like that. but it seems to me that you can justify your presence no more than for the couple of drinks or so you intended to have. after that, you gotta move along or risk appearing in a way you don't want.
delta
Derek Flint
Master Don Juan
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Who cares?
Nobody, that's who.
I fly solo often, and it hasn't stopped me from PU
In fact, if you don't have a wingman with tight game, it's better to go solo.
And, if your game is tight, it doesn't matter if you're solo or not, because you have better game than a large majority of your competition.
Stop worrying about stupid little things that nobody cares about.
Nobody, that's who.
I fly solo often, and it hasn't stopped me from PU
In fact, if you don't have a wingman with tight game, it's better to go solo.
And, if your game is tight, it doesn't matter if you're solo or not, because you have better game than a large majority of your competition.
Stop worrying about stupid little things that nobody cares about.
Derek Flint
Master Don Juan
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Walk straight up to a HB, and start gaming her.Mayfly said:
"Hi, my name is Mayfly. I noticed you when I walked in, and I came over here to get to know you"
Otherwise, you'll stand around on "death row" all night with the rest of the losers, making excuses, not approaching, talking yourself out of it, and ending the night predictably.
You don't need eye contact or anything else to approach.
Waiting for those types of "IOI's" are just a lame excuse not to approach.
You are a Man. You approach who you want, when you want, and you don't give a f*** what anyone else thinks.
And women will notice that and like it.
