Does anyone here still want to Find a Wife?

[EyeBRollin]

Sounds to me that if it doesn't work out the choices are child support, vs. potential divorce settlement, lawyer fees (both times), alimony and child support.

Sounds to me that framing is choosing to fail vs accepting the risk of failure.

 

[Barrister]

He's a SJW. He likes to roll the dice. Let him. Hopefully, all works out fine.

I actually generally enjoy @EyeBRollin posts -- and find myself a little surprised by his position on this considering he generally seems fairly pragmatic on here. I think a good deal of that can be attributed to the fact he has never been married and is getting ready to be married. I remember having the rose colored glasses before I got married too. Difference being I was very blue-pilled before I was married -- and I assume @EyeBRollin is not. Hence my surprise.

Like you - I hope it works out for him and he never has to come back here and tell us we were right.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I actually generally enjoy @EyeBRollin posts -- and find myself a little surprised by his position on this considering he generally seems fairly pragmatic on here. I think a good deal of that can be attributed to the fact he has never been married and is getting ready to be married. I remember having the rose colored glasses before I got married too. Difference being I was very blue-pilled before I was married -- and I assume @EyeBRollin is not. Hence my surprise.

Like you - I hope it works out for him and he never has to come back here and tell us we were right.

I've had the right women for it 20 years ago, but i didn't respect the world was how it is. I'm not sure the right women for it exist today.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It's risk assessment. In both cases there is risk of failure. One costs more than the other.

Nothing wrong with planning for success, but getting married is not like approaching or swinging a baseball bat. Most people on Sosuave would probably compare it to gambling.

Even if marriage “costs” more, it also confers benefits. Specifically here, the goal being a stable family unit.

The alternative is.. no kids, or kids with a baby momma.

I do legitimately wonder what the MGTOW guys plan to do when they’re 70+ years old and alone.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Even if marriage “costs” more, it also confers benefits. Specifically here, the goal being a stable family unit.

The alternative is.. no kids, or kids with a baby momma.

I do legitimately wonder what the MGTOW guys plan to do when they’re 70+ years old and alone.

I think us Men need to stop living in fear, with everything in life there is always going to be a risk. For some the benefits of marriage outweigh the risks.

 

[RickTheToad]

I think us Men need to stop living in fear, with everything in life there is always going to be a risk. For some the benefits of marriage outweigh the risks.

Please, enlighten us of the benefits of marriage in the 21st century.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Please, enlighten us of the benefits of marriage in the 21st century.

Raising Children and instilling them with strong masculine values, if more of us have healthy families we can slowly change society. A wife is there to nurture the children and support her husband as he leads the family.

 

[metalwater]

 

[TheCharmingGuy]

Does anyone else here intend to get married? I'm just wondering what others have in mind to succeed in this modern world?

Yes.

 

[Konada]

A family won't be more "stable" just because the government approves it.

And now you're projecting your fear of living alone onto others and calling them MGTOW... Come on, man.

Ask yourself this: If you're so sure your relationship with your future wife will be stable and you have no fear of it ending, why do you need the government to lock her down for you?

If you're 100% sure it's rock solid, you don't need a contract. On the other hand if she wants to leave you, she'll do it, contract or not, and she'll take a lot more in a divorce.

You make valid points. However, you're fighting against years of social conditioning ever since the girl was wearing diapers and you'll be fighting an uphill battle, even if the woman is wife material.

In fact, I would argue it creates a stable family unit because most women view marriage = security. Plausible deniability you are not going leave her. You and I know that a relationship can end anytime, married or not.

Its a tall order to get a woman to have kids out of wedlock unless you are a top 0.0001% male. Even as a 1% male, if you want all the benefits without a legalized marriage, some other 1% dude will.

And let's be realistic here, very very very few men will be able to pull it off.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Can’t a woman bypass a prenup by saying she didn’t have a lawyer present?

 

[EyeBRollin]

A family won't be more "stable" just because the government approves it.

Ok bro. You’re just categorically wrong on this. There is decades of data that show otherwise.

And now you're projecting your fear of living alone onto others and calling them MGTOW... Come on, man.

Ask yourself this: If you're so sure your relationship with your future wife will be stable and you have no fear of it ending, why do you need the government to lock her down for you?

If you're 100% sure it's rock solid, you don't need a contract. On the other hand if she wants to leave you, she'll do it, contract or not, and she'll take a lot more in a divorce.

The only one projecting fear is yourself. I am NOT sure my relationship will be stable. That is an impossible ask, and an irrational standard. Anything involving other human beings carries risk.

What I do know is that when share DNA and conceive a child, being legally bound as a family unit is more beneficial for all three of us than being two individuals that decided to just be baby momma and baby daddy.

I don’t know why you guys want a 100% certainty to make a decision. You sound like women. That’s what they try to do.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Do you want to get married? If so, why?

Marriage is a practical choice for myself. I don’t see life as a 60 year old man spinning plates, chasing tail, or being a loner. I want productive offspring (children) that look like me. A help meet (wife) is not critically important to me now but will become more valuable as I get older.

I don’t find anything desirable about being a loner, an old creep still trying to be a bachelor, a step father, or a baby daddy. No disrespect to the guys that want those things. It’s just not for me.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Makes sense, you want what you want. However, a man can be unmarried and not be a loner or an old creep. Those are just shaming terms mostly thrown around by angry women. There are many unmarried fathers whom I've never seen referred to as "baby daddy" -

Actually they are not shaming terms.

Society- both men and women, have a view of a 60 year old, never been married, childless man still trying to chase tail. It is not a positive view..

“Baby momma” and “Baby daddy” are specific terms for people who choose to conceive children out of wedlock. They are not the same as “single mother” and “single father.” Children from single mothers and single fathers were still conceived from a marriage but it was an unsuccessful marriage.

 

[Konada]

Well, we know that plenty of couples do it that aren't top %. So it can obviously be done and is done and is more common than people seem to think. Maybe it's just a frame thing. Besides which, what are "all the benefits" - nobody has yet explained what benefits a man gets from a legal marriage.

Maybe in the western world, I don't see any of this happen in Asia, not to my knowledge.

What examples have you seen?

What is the relative SMV of male vs female?

Does this involve previously divorced or never married couples?

I just think its a can of worms that is better left unopened, the probability of it going sideways is higher than it working out.

This is all of course assumes you have vetted your woman thoroughly to be confident enough to be in a marriage with.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Lol, those are still shaming terms and you're just suffering a frame fail if you live your life according to other people's ideas of how you should live. Or expecting others to live like you do.

Same way a man loses frame if he gets married because his girl threatens to walk if he won't.

"Society" is just a group of individuals. Some of them hold the beliefs you describe, some of them don't.

Some will think a married man is a "simp" or a "cuck." Should he change his behavior every time he comes across another opinion?

One hundred years ago a large portion of society said that interrracial relationships were "miscegenation." Some people still hold this thought. Yet I still date people with different skin colors because I don't give a fukk what they think. And so on.

To thine own self be true.

This is red pill gone wrong. Living for and by oneself only works as a young man. It does not work as you become older. Life is about people and relationships.

 

[RickTheToad]

This is red pill gone wrong. Living for and by oneself only works as a young man. It does not work as you become older. Life is about people and relationships.

I am sure your relationship with your right hand will be fine for years to come.

 

[RickTheToad]

Raising Children and instilling them with strong masculine values, if more of us have healthy families we can slowly change society. A wife is there to nurture the children and support her husband as he leads the family.

That can be done without a marriage license.

 

[RickTheToad]

Have it your way, but you are again making universal proclamations. Solipsism. For me, life is about people and relationships that fit into my life well and with whom I share enough things in common to make it satisfying for me. Can't speak for everybody but it's worked well for me.

Dude's feelings seem to change once they go through a divorce and lose everything they spent decades in building because they thought their love was strong enough to keep them together.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Dude's feelings seem to change once they go through a divorce and lose everything they spent decades in building because they thought their love was strong enough to keep them together.

Love has nothing to do with any of this. And no, men do not lose “everything” in divorce.