Does anybody believe in "chasing" a girl or being persistent?

[lakeshore]

It seems like most of the stuff on here is geared towards making the
girl come to you, or acting too cool for the girl in hopes that she may think she's missing out on
a great person so she better run to you.

Is persistence a lost art? Does nobody believe in that anymore?

I realize you need to be smart in the way you go about it but I think
way too many people give up way to easy.


Its kind of an old school way of thinking but I don't believe girls have changed really.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Well in the world of pickup artists it is dead. But if you want to be a real man then your free to try.

Personally I think women just reject guys to test them. Women are, in my opinion, almost 95% attracted to just pure character strength. If you get rejected and you keep gaming her because it does not bother you than you are a real man. Your going to take what you want and get what you want and your not giving up just because you got rejected a couple times. If shes giving you the signals and you think you can get her than just keep asking her out. If she starts acting wierded out by you than stop. Also just because your being persistant does not mean you need to be acting desperate.

Personally I think guys should be very persistant, considering that the entire female game which is far more popular with women than this **** we are doing is totally about strategies and playing hard to get. Its not so much about making yourself better as just strategies and mind games though. I think being persistant is a good thing, and I have been around this game a very long time. Its also going to make YOU grow by doing it as well. Anyone can ask out some chick that they are never gonna see again. It takes balls to keep going after the same one. You stand to grow a lot mentally from this.

Keep in mind the psychology you have learned here. Your going to get very interested in this girl if you keep asking her out.

 

[Jhcl4000]

It depends on what you mean by "persistent." You don't want to come off as creepy and desperate.

 

[lakeshore]

I think people confuse persistence with desperation. Just simply not the same thing. You can be persistent without coming off desperate.

 

[Ease]

It seems like most of the stuff on here is geared towards making the
girl come to you, or acting too cool for the girl in hopes that she may think she's missing out on
a great person so she better run to you.

Is persistence a lost art? Does nobody believe in that anymore?

I realize you need to be smart in the way you go about it but I think
way too many people give up way to easy.


Its kind of an old school way of thinking but I don't believe girls have changed really.

With respect, try out your method before you publish your theories.

This is weener talk.

Weeners will often say stuff like, 'you can be a nice guy as long as you are confident', or 'dont play games, be honest'.

It sounds nice to the ear but is infact bs. Hang out with guys who have success, you wont hear such nonsense.

1 more for laughs: 'PUAs are losers (because i dont get any ***** but at least im not a big pua loser, they are so sad!!!!)'

 

[War Against Betaism]

For me where the crowd is younger and girls are a bit more shyer and insecure (especially asian girls) being persistent is a must.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

This is weener talk.

"Weeners will often say stuff like, 'you can be a nice guy as long as you are confident', or 'dont play games, be honest'.

It sounds nice to the ear but is infact bs. Hang out with guys who have success, you wont hear such nonsense.
'

I completely disagree.

 

[YogurtSlinger]

I completely disagree.

Ditto.

There is more than one way to skin a cat.

lakeshore, if you were asking the general population rather than a site with a bunch of monkey spankers, then I think what you are talking about would not be abnormal at all.

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=162646

 

[KingofHearts]

Years ago, a friend of mine use to work with a girl he had a crush on. He would talk about it all the time. He asked her out a couple of times and was rejected. After striking out, he was still persistent. One time , he left a rose on the windshield of her car under the wiper. How did she return the favor? She left a two page letter on his car stating the reasons why they could not date including BS things like "co-workers shouldn't date" and the fact they were different races.

Game over right?

He still was trying to romance her, and at some point she figured "what the hell". She reluctantly went out on a date with him (dinner & movie). My buddy was always spending money and buying nice things. It was like he worked just to have money to take her out. Its romantic and pitiful at the same time, and it hurt to watch. But as time went on, they continued to go out.

Eventually, they got married. Now they have two kids in a cramped little apartment and seem pretty happy together. Money makes things stressful but I think both of them are in it for the long haul.

Me personally I would never chase a girl like that. I think the guy looked like a chump all the way through. But God makes fools of all of us. I'm a divorced man in his 20's while the chump is happily married with a nice little family to boot. What can I say? I'm happy for the guy. Do I wish I was in his shoes? Nope, I'm quite content being single and doing whatever I please. But not everyone is happy being single. Those are the ones that give their left kidney to just to get a girl's phone number.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Chasing never seemed to do the trick. I always got pretty decent results using a three strike kind of thing unless she was blatantly obvious. Persistence can pay off, but you have to do it without appearing like a needy little thing.

 

[BeyondCharm]

I'm a divorced man in his 20's while the chump is happily married with a nice little family to boot. What can I say? I'm happy for the guy. Do I wish I was in his shoes? Nope, I'm quite content being single and doing whatever I please.

He may not be happily married, may not be getting the sex he wishes he could be having, there's a lot of unknowns and you're making some fairly broad assumptions based on few facts... Now, if you're close with the guy, and he's telling you, "man, my wife is a freak, we fvck almost every day and she is crazy in the bedroom, cooks me breakfast in the mornings, takes care of the house and the kid and hooks up BJ's whenever I want" i'd be willing to believe your assessment to be true.

Like yourself I'm happy to be single, enjoy doing whatever I want and wouldn't want his situation.

 

[lakeshore]

He may not be happily married, may not be getting the sex he wishes he could be having, there's a lot of unknowns and you're making some fairly broad assumptions based on few facts... Now, if you're close with the guy, and he's telling you, "man, my wife is a freak, we fvck almost every day and she is crazy in the bedroom, cooks me breakfast in the mornings, takes care of the house and the kid and hooks up BJ's whenever I want" i'd be willing to believe your assessment to be true.

Like yourself I'm happy to be single, enjoy doing whatever I want and wouldn't want his situation.

I think you missed the entire point of the story. The point is he GOT HER. What he decides to do after that, marry or dump her is completely up to him.

 

[Iceberg]

It seems like most of the stuff on here is geared towards making the
girl come to you, or acting too cool for the girl in hopes that she may think she's missing out on
a great person so she better run to you.

Is persistence a lost art? Does nobody believe in that anymore?

I realize you need to be smart in the way you go about it but I think
way too many people give up way to easy.


Its kind of an old school way of thinking but I don't believe girls have changed really.

I guess it depends on what you mean by persistence. When it comes to the attraction stage, I don't mind spending some time winning a girl over. If it's a situation like class or work where I know I'll see the girl steadily over a period of time, I don't see a need in walking right up to her and getting her number right off the bat.

But then comes the dating phase. If I have a girl's number, and I call, I'm not going to spend 4-5 weeks waiting a round for a first date, second date, etc. Think about attraction at it's root. You don't convince yourself to be attracted to something. There's no decision phase..."I'll choose to be interested in this person." Sometimes people can win you over through time, but there was always some initial interest.

If a girl asks you out once, and you flake out...will your interest level increase after 5 times of her asking? No. In fact, it'll probably decrease...you'll be thinking "Doesn't this girl have anything else going on in her life?" But if her persistence drops, and she does focus on other things, THEN you might wonder what she's up to.

It's supply and demand. Supply too much attention and it's value decreases. Give someone a taste of the attention, then remove it, and then they wonder what happened to the sweet, sweet confidence-building attention.

I remember talking about this with you in another thread. Some girl was flaking out on a guy, and you suggested that he send her a text saying, "You're amazing." To which I thought, "No...he already gave her attention..and attention got him nowhere." That WAS his persistence. If anything, he needed to go the opposite direction. Drop her, pursue other interests, and maybe she comes back...and if she doesn't, then he's already got a jump start on forgetting about her.

 

[jafyk]

I don't think persistence is a lost art. Rather, I think it's one that needs to be redefined in one's approach to it. I believe in passive persistent. What I mean is being persistent without actually going out all guns blazing, and you come off as trying too hard. So, the best way to be persistent is to be consistent in your approach while not giving it too much attention. In other words if you are after a girl and she's playing hard to get see other girls, do your regular stuff but still do things that puts you in the mind of the target girl in a way that lets her know you still want her but you still have a life and other options. I have been told by girls in the past that one of the things they admired about me is that I was persistent. Personally, for me the problem with being passively persistent is that I could easily slide way left to being bored and totally distracted from the target and stop being consistent in passively chasing her especially if she's keeping up the hard to get for so long. It's often a hard act trying to balance many girls. One will most times end up getting more of your time and taking you away from the other girls. Well, this is my input. Hope it helps. Thanks for sharing.

 

[KingofHearts]

He may not be happily married, may not be getting the sex he wishes he could be having, there's a lot of unknowns and you're making some fairly broad assumptions based on few facts... Now, if you're close with the guy, and he's telling you, "man, my wife is a freak, we fvck almost every day and she is crazy in the bedroom, cooks me breakfast in the mornings, takes care of the house and the kid and hooks up BJ's whenever I want" i'd be willing to believe your assessment to be true.

Like yourself I'm happy to be single, enjoy doing whatever I want and wouldn't want his situation.

Yes there are a lot of unknowns. But if the man says he's happy, then I'm happy for him. I didn't think I was making any assumptions. I was telling a story.

BTW, my EX-wife was a freak in bed. She did cook for me and we averaged sex probably 2-3 times a day. I know you're just using a few examples, but sex is just one element of having a happy marriage. In my marriage I was sexually satisfied. She told me that she gave me whatever I wanted in bed because she was afraid I would leave her for all the other crazy stuff she put me through. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. The crazy bs drama she created far outweighed the pros of getting sex from her.

 

[Brighty]

The chase is half the fun

 

[KingofHearts]

He may not be happily married, may not be getting the sex he wishes he could be having, there's a lot of unknowns and you're making some fairly broad assumptions based on few facts... Now, if you're close with the guy, and he's telling you, "man, my wife is a freak, we fvck almost every day and she is crazy in the bedroom, cooks me breakfast in the mornings, takes care of the house and the kid and hooks up BJ's whenever I want" i'd be willing to believe your assessment to be true.

Like yourself I'm happy to be single, enjoy doing whatever I want and wouldn't want his situation.

Also, tip of my hat to you being happy & single. I don't see too many people that truly are happy, period. I believe people that can be happy & single have the best chance of being happy as a couple. Quite the irony isn't it?

 

[War Against Betaism]

I don't think persistence is a lost art. Rather, I think it's one that needs to be redefined in one's approach to it. I believe in passive persistent. What I mean is being persistent without actually going out all guns blazing, and you come off as trying too hard. So, the best way to be persistent is to be consistent in your approach while not giving it too much attention. In other words if you are after a girl and she's playing hard to get see other girls, do your regular stuff but still do things that puts you in the mind of the target girl in a way that lets her know you still want her but you still have a life and other options. I have been told by girls in the past that one of the things they admired about me is that I was persistent. Personally, for me the problem with being passively persistent is that I could easily slide way left to being bored and totally distracted from the target and stop being consistent in passively chasing her especially if she's keeping up the hard to get for so long. It's often a hard act trying to balance many girls. One will most times end up getting more of your time and taking you away from the other girls. Well, this is my input. Hope it helps. Thanks for sharing.

Excellent post. Think about it this way; why would a women invest any emotions for you if you're willing to just leave her like that? If ALL you're looking for is sex then yeah, don't be persistent.

 

[HolyG]

There is CHASING. (coming from a desperate, I need you!! frame)

And there is PURSUING. (coming from a masculine, You know we want each other frame)

Guess which one is sexy?