Does a woman "stop going for jerks" when her desirability wanes?

[Rollo Tomassi]

The women you describe are going through their "Epiphany Phase":

I’ve previously described this phase as a parallel to men’s feminine-redefined midlife crisis. This is a precarious time for women, usually the years between 28 and 30, where she makes attempts to reassess the last decade of her life. Women’s psychological rationalization engine (a.k.a. the Hamster) begins a furious effort to account for, and explain to her reasonings for not having successfully secured a long term monogamous commitment from as Alpha a man as her attractiveness could attain for her. Even women married prior to this phase will go through some variation of self-doubt, or self-pity in dealing with the hypergamic uncertainty of her choice (“Is he really the best I could do?”)

It’s during this stage that women will make radical shifts in their prioritization of what prerequisite traits qualify as ‘attractive’ in a man and attempt to turn over a new leaf by changing up their behaviors to align with this new persona they create for themselves. Since the physicality, sexual prowess and Alpha dominance that made up her former arousal cues in a Man aren’t as forthcoming from men as when she was in her sexual prime, she reprioritizes them with (presumed) preferences for more intrinsic male attributes that stress dependability, provisioning capacity, humor, intellect, and esoteric definitions of compatibility and intimacy.

For the spiritually inclined woman (which is to say most women) this may manifest in a convenient return to convictions she’d disregarded since her adolescence. For other’s it may be some kind of forced celibacy; a refusal to have sex under the hypergamic auspices of her ‘party years’ in the hopes that a well provisioning male (the ones not realizing their own potential SMV as yet) will appreciate her for her prudence – so unlike herself and all of the other girls who rejected him over the last decade.

The self-affirming psychological schema is one where she’s “finally doing the right thing”, when in fact she’s simply making the necessity of her long term provisioning and security a virtue she hopes men will appreciate. And if they don’t, then there’s always shaming them to think they’re ‘less-than-men’ for not living up to her eating her cake once she’s had it.

 

[Married Buried]

The type of woman who banged jerks all her life will settle for the beta eventually, but she will still bang the jerk behind his back.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Backbreaker, why are you so ucking long winded what's the point in all that? Beucase it's really the same thing. I don't miss basketball honestly. I don't long to play int he NBA. I'm quite happy with what I do for a living I love it. I grew up, my interests changed. Yes I realized that I could not be the alpha NBA playing male and yes there is nothing I can ever do to be that good but that doesn't mean I secretly long for it and that my interests did not genuinely change over the years. I grew up so to speak.


My point is, if i can grow up why can't women? OP says that women's interests change when their looks fall off the cliff, I say that women just grow up. My wife probably would not have dated me at 20 (her not me), because i would have been too serious and not adventurous enough for her at that time in her life. But that does not mean now at 36 she has not genuinely changed


to say otherwise is to suggest that all 35 year olds secretly wish they could still go out and go clubbing 5 nights a week. Im a guy and I got tired of that **** in my early 20's why cant' women?


I'm not saying that some women don't settle. But some women do in fact just grow up.

IF you dont allow for a woman to grow up you are going to be single for quite a while because you have unrealistic expectations.


let me clarify: every woman that is older and now goes for a different type of man than she did 10 years ago has not changed. the woman in the OP i believe has not changed. she has settled. but i know alot of women who just grew up. some women, really do find god. some women just grow out of that phase where they are young and stupid. they have the world by the balls and they realize that just because you can do something doesn't means its' in your best interest.

What is the difference between "growing up" and "settling"? Seems like a pretty arbitrary distinction in this context. It sounds like your wife settled for you just like you settled for an IT/tech job in lieu of a pro athlete career. If you could play in the NBA, would you have ever become a web designer? Of course not. If your wife could secure a long-term commitment from the kind of guy she was interested in back in her 20's, would she have married you? The answer is also no. She tried...in her 20's, perhaps even early 30's. But by her mid-30's, she realized it wasn't going to happen. With her sexual market value dropping like the stock market in a recession and the "man of her dreams" still eluding her, she didn't grow up. She settled.

Women settle the same way men do. No man ever wakes and says "gee, I have grown up, so from now on I'm going to stop being interested in 9's with big boobs and coke bottle figures and start being interested in some average-looking 6 next door". Same thing with women. No woman is going to suddenly stop dreaming about a tall, handsome guy with a dashing personality, Hollywood smile and a bottomless bank account. But at some point, most women realize that the man of their dreams is out of reach...and that her fallback option will soon be out of reach too, as they're getting older. And that's when they "grow up".

 

[backbreaker]

"Jerk" can be a relative term, bear in mind. I've been called a "jerk" many a time by women with whom I flirted. I'm as far away from "The Leader of the Pack" or "He's A Rebel" as you can imagine. But I still know how to tease, hair-pull, and treat a woman like a little girl with cooties. Also remember, beta chumps think a guy who doesn't placate women Disney-style is a "jerk" because 1) he's an independent spirit and 2) results.

A lot of women will go for legitimately damaged men (yes they exist too), and that's more on the extreme end of the jerk bell curve. Abusers, serious druggies, criminals, etc. In which case zekko you are probably right - the women are damaged as well. But that doesn't remove the fact that they are falling for renegades and not Prince Charmings, it's just an extreme version.

thats another thing

the language / lingo we use here is so outdated. women don't really like jerks. i don't really know any true jerks

you have for the most part 2 types of guys


you have guys that are fun and you have guys that are responsible.


drug addicts, weed smokers, guys that have no career and spend their extra money on clothes and partying, they are fun guys. guys that spend their money on insurance, IRA's and paying off student loan debt are responsible.


responsible guy doesn't get the juices flowing. most women in their 20s would rather hang out with fun guy

there is actually a good TED talk on this subject


http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html


shes kinda hot in a I would screw my shrink kinda way lol. Anyway this is the problem that guys on this forum, responsible guys run into. If you watch this TED talk, which I recommend you do you will note that all the examples she use are WOMEN BETWEEN THE AGE OF 20-30. you read books like this

http://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Thomas-Stanley/dp/0671015206

But that book fails to talk about one key subject


IT WILL NOT GET YOU PVSSY.

I know a guy, charles is his name actually, works at mc donalds, literally. biggest ****ing chump i have ever seen in my life. spends all day caking talking on the phone to girls, and has them lined up. Because hes fun. he's not a jerk. avg looking black guy. NOt handsome but clean. Not ugly. he's not alpha. but he spends all his money on clothes cologne, going to the movies and stuff like that.

hes 34 years old. he doesn't ask himself deep questions like, what am i doing with my life lol. questions like this are above charles' head. He doesn't save money. He buys scratch off tickets. He actually asked me to give him 600 dollars so he could buy a roll of scratch offs lol once. I know him because he cuts my hair. He has talent. He's such a good barber I let him cut my hair and I can cut my own damn hair quite well. Hes very good and refuses to go to school to do it or a living. But he likes doing it and does it on the side, but because he does not have a real license he has to charge 5 dollars a head just to get practice. But he's good.

My point being, this is the guy that you are losing your women to. Hes not a jerk. half the time hes around me he's talking about how girls are doing him wrong and hes crying about a girl not calling him and **** like that. hes what this site would call a BETA but he's successful.

girls like going out with him because hes' fun.

A jerk might be fun but it's not the jerk qualities that she likes. he's always available, he has time to have fun, he's fun, he has no qualms bout having fun. IF he wants to go get black out drunk on a Tuesday night hes down lol, he doesn't have a career or anything to worry about if he gets fired from taco bell he will go work at wendys no problem lol



I don't respect a lot of women, but 95% of the site doesn't understand why. it's not becuase women like jerks. it's becuase the avg woman is too stupid to understand the difference between responsible guy and fun guy and is too dense to see the good qualities of responsible guy.


It's not even about time or balancing life. If you are a responsible 25 year old with a job making 40k a year there is just **** you are going to do if you are responsible. you are going to have insurance, you are going to pay your student loans off, you are going to go to work everyday, you are going to probably work late, this takes time and makes you not fun. Then you get **** on by society for it.



now with the above stated, there comes a time when a woman stops going for fun guy and starts liking responsible guy, because what she wants is more in line with what he offers. she's done partying and she has a real career now and she now wants a man with a real career. i don't know one real career woman that longs for fun guy. She wants you to take care of yourself, she wants you to look good still, but I mean, she cares more about a guy who can be a good husband and take care of kids more than she cares about the guy who can go to the pub with her on a Wednesday. its also why i believe the thought.. no i KNOW the thought that every girl longs for a alpha male in the back of her mind is so ****ing stupid because at 35 what an alpha male is is 1000% different than what it was at 25.


what i am trying to say is that, the forum here gets pissy about girl going from fun guy to responsible guy. Thats the sticking point. Dammit, she got to party with fun guy for 10 years while I busted my ass and now she wants me to provide for her when she doesn't bring **** to the table that i didn't have already lol.

I get it. trust me bro. I get it lol. I'm not even saying its fair. Its not. I was single while I was responsible guy, and I didn't start getting looks until I had enough money to be responsible and fun at the same time.

It's just something I've been able to accept. I was pretty angry about it for a few years but then I got tired of being angry and moved on. That's just how women are. They can be ,and they are. I had to accept that a 25 year old fun guy is more valuable to a woman than a 25 year old responsible guy most times.

My wife and I have had long conversations about this and she can't even argue with me. She sees my point of view and feels bad for responsible guy, but it is what it is.


I've just come to terms with it. And I decided that as long as she a woman did not come out with any baggage from her fun days, and she was seriously now responsible, then I was okay with it. ***** is ***** lol.


I think there is no better examples of this in extremes in this thread than warrior right now. Warior is not fun lol. He's trying to make something of himself. Trying to make something of yourself does not get women wet. Going out, partying, having time for them, texting and tweeting them all the time is fun. and the women that he does find, are too dense to see the good qualities in him. you are gying to tell me that warrior is a BETA lol? no. he's not.; he's just responsible. women see that he takes charge, that he has hobbies, that he does not take slack from women, they just don't care. they want to have fun. and he's not fun. at least not yet.

however when warrior can afford to be responsible AND have fun, he's going to be a terror to society


even the woman in the OPs thread. the guys that she longed after weren't jerks. they werent even necessairly alpha. they were FUN. the stuff she mentioned to him that her boyfriend doesnt do.. FUN STUFF. she wanted to have fun and her boyfriend was not fun to her. fun versus responsible. and even at 35 ish that tramp is too stupid to understand the difference.

 

[sambwoy]

Women settle the same way men do. No man ever wakes and says "gee, I have grown up, so from now on I'm going to stop being interested in 9's with big boobs and coke bottle figures and start being interested in some average-looking 6 next door". Same thing with women. No woman is going to suddenly stop dreaming about a tall, handsome guy with a dashing personality, Hollywood smile and a bottomless bank account. But at some point, most women realize that the man of their dreams is out of reach...and that her fallback option will soon be out of reach too, as they're getting older. And that's when they "grow up".

When I was growing up, you would of thought the way you heard some girls talk, you would have thought there was a serious drought of 'hot hunks'.

Actually, never mind not being attracted to your everyday guys, they at any rate hated them period, typically viewed as a creep, perv or weirdo, depending on the guy, in spite of them probably going through the exact same social struggles as they were. I realized that was really at the core of why clubs and the like were not for me, because all this was going on. Many of them had this attitude where you thought 'just get a life'. This goes back to the post I made about the '90210' mentality. The media in some way affects their screening process of life.

At the same time, I had struggles with my self-image but on the forums I just got talked down to a lot by female posters and male posters who seemed to me equally hostile and condescending, and I guess recently I got more suspicious when women in life were nice to me, because what I was telling myself from past experiences was so ingrained in me I didn't know otherwise, and again was having to pinball between various psychiatrists and counsellors. So much for them being 'sugar, spice and all things nice'.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Oh well who cares? Women will get the karma card dealt to them later

 

[zekko]

See now, that last post by backbreaker, that was some serious gold there. His description of Charles the "fun guy", that's a real guy there, I know people like that. I don't know any of these PUA stereotypes. The fun guy, yeah that makes way more sense than "alpha jerks". That's real life sh!t right there.

Girls just wanna have fun, isn't that the truth? An 18 year old girl going out isn't going to care how the bills get paid. It might as well happen by magic as far as she's concerned. A 30 year old women will look at things differently. Dear God, I would HOPE she would!

Girls just wanna have fun. I remember I used to hear that song and feel a little disappointment at the truth of it. That song there, that's your real red pill, lads.

 

[backbreaker]

See now, that last post by backbreaker, that was some serious gold there. His description of Charles the "fun guy", that's a real guy there, I know people like that. I don't know any of these PUA stereotypes. The fun guy, yeah that makes way more sense than "alpha jerks". That's real life sh!t right there.

Girls just wanna have fun, isn't that the truth? An 18 year old girl going out isn't going to care how the bills get paid. It might as well happen by magic as far as she's concerned. A 30 year old women will look at things differently. Dear God, I would HOPE she would!

Girls just wanna have fun. I remember I used to hear that song and feel a little disappointment at the truth of it. That song there, that's your real red pill, lads.

In the end however, the responsible guys win out for a few reasons

1. eventually, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day, charles will realize that his life sucks lol. it will hit him and he will try to do something about it. hes about 20 years behind you. So he will have to become responsible. He will have to make himself go to school or get a real job and take it seriously, or he might realize his life sucks and just turn to drugs or go to jail lol. you already as a responsible guy bit the bullet and did what you had to do

2. Being fun promotes consumerism.. if you are going to be fun you have to buy fun stuff. Iphones, ipads, tablets, beer, alcohol, clothes, movies, gifts, etc. as long as you are fun you are living paycheck to paycheck. he might be getting laid but thats about all he is getting. Hes not getting money, ehs not getting anything else. no money for hobbies, no money for anything other than trying to game women.

thats not a life i would be willing to live.


it's also the unspoken reason why i cringe every time i see an article by a chick talking about where are all the real men and **** like that. men act the way they act because women respond to it. IF men became the responsible men that women lamented about they wouldn't' want to **** them lol. women don't understand this. women can be responsible men don't give a **** either way. i like the fact that my wife has her head on straight and is responsible that's why shes my wife lol. but as responsible as my wife is she still likes to have friends over just about every other night, likes to go out, likes to do "fun stuff" and if i could not do fun stuff with her i probably would not be her husband.

 

[backbreaker]

yeah we just have to disagree. I look at my father, and my father always kept plates, even when he was married lol, and besides drinking from time to time there is nothing really "bad boy" about my dad. but my dad is like a better version of Charles, better looking better dressing, more money, but still likes to have fun. he doesn't save money, he goes to the club. he doesn't give a **** about his kid's college education he buys a new 50k car lol. women eat it up.


a word we never talk about on this forum is consumerism. you don't have to be rich per say to mack the ladies but you do have to be a consumer of goods, "toys". women dont' give a **** about your frguality lol they like the guy in polo's and spurrys over the guy in Faded glory lol. they like the guy with the nice colonge, they like the guy who has the new iphone5 and who spends all his time updating his facebook page. women are really, big kids. they like toys. a woman will literally drive a man to the poor house if you allow them to.


Thats why i hate the advice given on this forum alot because it doesnt tackle real problems. how od you be a consumer of goods and still be responsible at the same time. if you have a job and your take home pay is 900 every 2 weeks, not horrible but not just balling out of control, at least where i am from it's not, how do you keep up with the jones.. how are you going to "save 10%" when a polo outfit costs 200 dollars? women don't' give a damn about you saving money and being responsible. they just don't. not he women this forum wants.

 

[zekko]

1. eventually, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day, charles will realize that his life sucks lol. it will hit him and he will try to do something about it. hes about 20 years behind you. So he will have to become responsible. He will have to make himself go to school or get a real job and take it seriously, or he might realize his life sucks and just turn to drugs or go to jail lol. you already as a responsible guy bit the bullet and did what you had to do.

Yeah, I've said this before, but given my choice between women and money, I'll take the money lol.

But it's also important to remember that just like with jerks and nice guys, no one is 100% responsible guy or 100% fun guy. We all fall in the middle of the spectrum somewhere. I tend toward responsible guy, but when I'm out with my girl, I definitely try to be fun and have fun.

The thing that seperates me from some guys, though, and the reason I'm not more like Charles, is what I find to be fun is what I find to be interesting. And the things I find interesting are different - I would rather spend time on my hobbies than go to a bar and drink, which I would now consider a waste of time. For me anyway. I know a lot of people go drink and have fun, and I can understand that, I've been there and done that and enjoyed it, I've just moved on beyond that. I've gotten past that. That's why I don't find it impossible to believe that women can move beyond stuff too.

I think my girlfriend appreciates that I've moved on from that, appreciates how that gives me my edge, gives me value. I don't think she sits around thinking about how she settled for me while wishing she was having more adolescent fun, she thinks I'm a good catch.

 

[backbreaker]

1. By fun i dont mean stuff that you think is fun lol. I mean stuff that she thinks is fun. women are women. i love horse racing. outside of my wife i never dated a chick, okay 1, that gave 2 ****s about horse racing.


2. you are fun now but you are 53. you had to do a lot of responsible **** to be in a posiiton to where you had fun and thats what is hanging guys up now. they are single they are doing what they are being told to do by society and its not working. they are losing dates to fun guys and they are being told bull**** like just be yourself, or the right woman will come along one day. t hen they come here and are told it's because women like jerks. no as you aptly put it, girls just wanna have fun, and you can't have fun, the type of fun she wants to have, yet.

it's only once a woman gets out of this fun stage that the responsible guy starts to become more appealing and to a lot of guys that's not fair, and i cant say I disagree with that, but it is what it is what can you do? not have sex lol? say **** it and not save money lol? Cancel my insurance and start buying more clothes lol?


3. Your woman was raised in a different era. she isn't as materialistic as these women, as even my wife is. My wife isn't even all that materialistic but compared to your girl she's probably a diva lol.

 

[zekko]

3. Your woman was raised in a different era. she isn't as materialistic as these women, as even my wife is. My wife isn't even all that materialistic but compared to your girl she's probably a diva lol.

Sometimes you have to put the fun off for a bit if you want to accomplish something. It may hurt for now but for the long term you'll be better off.

Anyway, don't forget my girlfriend is only two years older than your wife IIRC (she's 38 - she was 28 when we got together). She has her materialistic side, but she doesn't come from money. She's something of a nature girl.

 

[FairShake]

Ehh, you will alienate as many girls being a "bad boy" as you will attract.

The main difference is the girls who will bang you the first night like bad boys. The ones who will still bang you the same years from now like gentlemen.

 

[zekko]

Here in the Northeast women are destroyed character-wise. I've spent a lot of time out in the Midwest (business meetings a week or two at a time) and the difference is like night & day. Out there the women are vastly better than the ones here. If it weren't for the lack of an ocean I would definitely move out there. In fact, as soon as you move out of the tri-state area you can see a vast difference in the social climate.

Man, I'm beginning to wonder why I stay here. Is an ocean really worth it? From my observations I'm pretty sure it's worse here than any other part of the country. However I can only assume that the wave of degeneration sweeps like an ever-flowing current from east to west. The western ones just get it later, that's all.

I don't mean to give the impression that it's paradise here either when it comes to women's behavior. But there are is a very wide variety of different types of women to choose from, they definitely don't all fit one mold.

If I were to write up a typical stereotype of the women in my area though, it would go something like this:

Girl parties until she accidently//intentionally gets pregnant, say around age 23. The baby daddy does the "honorable thing" and wifes her up so the child will have a father. Four years later, she files for divorce, and she is back as a single mother at age 27. From there she either soaks up the welfare roles, goes back to school, gets a job, or some combination of the three.

That would be a much more common scenario where I live than riding the c0ck carousel until 30, then marrying a beta. Far more common.

 

[backbreaker]

lol that's my mom zekko. exepct change 23 for 19 and 27 for 25. and my younger cousin. and my other younger cousin. and my aunt. and my step mom. and my other step mom lol.

that was spot on. you are from the mid west i would bet. everyone there gets maried young, gets divorce young and has baggage young.


the biggest thing i noticed when i got to LA/ San Diego was not so much the night life, well that, but that women.. were single. not divorced. not baby mommas. they were single. by choice. that.. that is not very.. common in arkansas. single sane women good looking women with no baggage are dodo birds in the mid west lol.

 

[zekko]

Yeah, I'm in the midwest. And you can fudge around with the ages that the girls have babies, but they usually come in their 20s (if not before, lol). Healthy age to have kids, I have to admit. Once they get to a certain age, women without kids definitely become a minority. For whatever reason, however, I've been pretty fortunate in finding the ones that have slipped through the cracks.

Game is absolutely necessary. Luckily I had enough looks/game and a fun enough personality that I can do OK with women without needing to buy them off with trinkets.

"Game" is one of those terms I sometimes have trouble with, probably because we didn't really use it when I was growing up. To my mind, all "game" means is personality, how you interact with females, maybe with a bit of strategy added in. The strategy comes largely from having self respect and common sense. Correct me if I'm wrong here.

I imagine some will say guys don't have the common sense to not let women take advantage of them, but to me it's common sense. Common sense and self respect, add in experience.

 

[Warrior74]

thats another thing

the language / lingo we use here is so outdated. women don't really like jerks. i don't really know any true jerks

you have for the most part 2 types of guys


you have guys that are fun and you have guys that are responsible.


drug addicts, weed smokers, guys that have no career and spend their extra money on clothes and partying, they are fun guys. guys that spend their money on insurance, IRA's and paying off student loan debt are responsible.


responsible guy doesn't get the juices flowing. most women in their 20s would rather hang out with fun guy

there is actually a good TED talk on this subject


http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html


shes kinda hot in a I would screw my shrink kinda way lol. Anyway this is the problem that guys on this forum, responsible guys run into. If you watch this TED talk, which I recommend you do you will note that all the examples she use are WOMEN BETWEEN THE AGE OF 20-30. you read books like this

http://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Thomas-Stanley/dp/0671015206

But that book fails to talk about one key subject


IT WILL NOT GET YOU PVSSY.

I know a guy, charles is his name actually, works at mc donalds, literally. biggest ****ing chump i have ever seen in my life. spends all day caking talking on the phone to girls, and has them lined up. Because hes fun. he's not a jerk. avg looking black guy. NOt handsome but clean. Not ugly. he's not alpha. but he spends all his money on clothes cologne, going to the movies and stuff like that.

hes 34 years old. he doesn't ask himself deep questions like, what am i doing with my life lol. questions like this are above charles' head. He doesn't save money. He buys scratch off tickets. He actually asked me to give him 600 dollars so he could buy a roll of scratch offs lol once. I know him because he cuts my hair. He has talent. He's such a good barber I let him cut my hair and I can cut my own damn hair quite well. Hes very good and refuses to go to school to do it or a living. But he likes doing it and does it on the side, but because he does not have a real license he has to charge 5 dollars a head just to get practice. But he's good.

My point being, this is the guy that you are losing your women to. Hes not a jerk. half the time hes around me he's talking about how girls are doing him wrong and hes crying about a girl not calling him and **** like that. hes what this site would call a BETA but he's successful.

girls like going out with him because hes' fun.

A jerk might be fun but it's not the jerk qualities that she likes. he's always available, he has time to have fun, he's fun, he has no qualms bout having fun. IF he wants to go get black out drunk on a Tuesday night hes down lol, he doesn't have a career or anything to worry about if he gets fired from taco bell he will go work at wendys no problem lol



I don't respect a lot of women, but 95% of the site doesn't understand why. it's not becuase women like jerks. it's becuase the avg woman is too stupid to understand the difference between responsible guy and fun guy and is too dense to see the good qualities of responsible guy.


It's not even about time or balancing life. If you are a responsible 25 year old with a job making 40k a year there is just **** you are going to do if you are responsible. you are going to have insurance, you are going to pay your student loans off, you are going to go to work everyday, you are going to probably work late, this takes time and makes you not fun. Then you get **** on by society for it.



now with the above stated, there comes a time when a woman stops going for fun guy and starts liking responsible guy, because what she wants is more in line with what he offers. she's done partying and she has a real career now and she now wants a man with a real career. i don't know one real career woman that longs for fun guy. She wants you to take care of yourself, she wants you to look good still, but I mean, she cares more about a guy who can be a good husband and take care of kids more than she cares about the guy who can go to the pub with her on a Wednesday. its also why i believe the thought.. no i KNOW the thought that every girl longs for a alpha male in the back of her mind is so ****ing stupid because at 35 what an alpha male is is 1000% different than what it was at 25.


what i am trying to say is that, the forum here gets pissy about girl going from fun guy to responsible guy. Thats the sticking point. Dammit, she got to party with fun guy for 10 years while I busted my ass and now she wants me to provide for her when she doesn't bring **** to the table that i didn't have already lol.

I get it. trust me bro. I get it lol. I'm not even saying its fair. Its not. I was single while I was responsible guy, and I didn't start getting looks until I had enough money to be responsible and fun at the same time.

It's just something I've been able to accept. I was pretty angry about it for a few years but then I got tired of being angry and moved on. That's just how women are. They can be ,and they are. I had to accept that a 25 year old fun guy is more valuable to a woman than a 25 year old responsible guy most times.

My wife and I have had long conversations about this and she can't even argue with me. She sees my point of view and feels bad for responsible guy, but it is what it is.


I've just come to terms with it. And I decided that as long as she a woman did not come out with any baggage from her fun days, and she was seriously now responsible, then I was okay with it. ***** is ***** lol.


I think there is no better examples of this in extremes in this thread than warrior right now. Warior is not fun lol. He's trying to make something of himself. Trying to make something of yourself does not get women wet. Going out, partying, having time for them, texting and tweeting them all the time is fun. and the women that he does find, are too dense to see the good qualities in him. you are gying to tell me that warrior is a BETA lol? no. he's not.; he's just responsible. women see that he takes charge, that he has hobbies, that he does not take slack from women, they just don't care. they want to have fun. and he's not fun. at least not yet.

however when warrior can afford to be responsible AND have fun, he's going to be a terror to society


even the woman in the OPs thread. the guys that she longed after weren't jerks. they werent even necessairly alpha. they were FUN. the stuff she mentioned to him that her boyfriend doesnt do.. FUN STUFF. she wanted to have fun and her boyfriend was not fun to her. fun versus responsible. and even at 35 ish that tramp is too stupid to understand the difference.

Yah I don't know too many "stereotypical jerks" in real life. Hell I'm probably the jerk most of the time because I say what I want to women. Betas think any man with balls is a jerk. Jerk = a man who makes you feel less in SS lingo.

I agree. I'm not fun. I used to be fun. Honestly, I'm bitter and angry broke and depressed. I can freely admit it because it's the truth. I'm also determined and not giving up on my life. Women, yes. I gave up on them about the time I was starving about about lose my place and not one woman would lift a finger to help me. Only men helped me when I was down. And yah I will never be a rest haven for old hoes. It's never gonna happen. I've had plenty come sniffing around wanting to settle down when I was doing well. Known hoes. Flagrant hoes. And I watched them sucker nice little beta boys into being 'hubby'. It's disgusting. I'm like dude, do you know what she used to do? Who she used to do? Jesus Christ man.

Peep that third verse by 2 Short. She ain't nothing but a hoe, and you lurv her. Can't be me bro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiQqCJ5NEnY

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I don't have compassion for the majority of women once they are past their prime for attractiveness, that's their karma for always being passive and expecting guys to make the first move and do the asking out, initiating, leading, etc.

 

[zekko]

Yah I don't know too many "stereotypical jerks" in real life.

I don't know many people I would consider real jerks either. One dude is an ex-cop, he likes to lord his power over people (he's in a position of some authority). He doesn't do any better with women than anyone else though.

Another is a guy who is probably not very socially calibrated, because he manages to offend people a lot. Mainly because he's very smug and thinks he's right all the time, and usually ends up p!ssing people off. Again, he's no better with women than anybody else, in fact many women will avoid him because he is annoying.

That's why I don't buy into the whole "Women love jerks" business that PUA gurus like to put out. Almost every woman I know is with a guy who is NOT a jerk. So the PUA theory just comes across like a weak fairy tale.

I did know one guy who kind of fit the mold. He was a tough guy, he liked to get drunk and beat people up, a bully I guess you would say. But he was socially calibrated enough that he was pretty cool to talk to (when he was sober). He could get girls. Maybe partly because if he had his eye on a girl, very few men would challenge him because they would get the sh!t kicked out of them lol. He ended up beating a guy to death outside of a bar one night and went to prison. Stories are his tough guy act got him gang raped repeatedly in prison. So even if you would say "Here's an alpha type", you wouldn't want to use him as a role model.

 

[backbreaker]

i remember one day i was in 9th grade and my dad showed up to watch me play basketball at a jr high game. my 2 best friends and i always have to hear about my dad and how good he is with the ladies. I was dating this chick named alexis at the time and her mom was really cute and her mom was there and my friend quincy was like dude look you say you are a mack, go talk to alexises mom and go get her phone number


my dad, undettered said okay lol, went up and 10 mins later came back with the number and her lol. on top of that, alexis called e that night and told me her mom had met this man at he game that she was all excited about, not knowing it was my dad.


"game" is the ability to build value and make a woman value you by speaking to her. by doing nothing else but talking to her. that's what my dad did.


If I were to compare myself to my father we have different "models". my dad is about 75% game / 25% everything else. for the most part he has his **** goether. drives a new(er) tahoe, lives in a nice house, has his own janitorial business can dress, always clean, but he gets his opportunities by just game and talking to women. he's very charming. i remember when millie met my dad fo rhte first time she was like damn your dad can really talk i was like he's feeling you out lol. that's how he works. he doesn't even try to that is just how he builds value by talking.


i'm not very charming lol. I CAN be but i'm too pragmatic to *****foot around that much. I'm about 80% everything else / 20% game. I'm the type of dude that just sits next to you and waits on you to look at me, talks to you for about 5 mins, gets your number and leaves lol. It's not that i can't sit there and talk to you like my dad can for a long time, that's just not how i work nor do i want to work like that, i got **** to do lol.


different ways to skin a cat is my point. but the cat gets skinned, no pun intended, both ways