Do you have to accept that some women are just realistically out of your league?

[backbreaker]

lol that sounds like my wife. She drives a convertible CLK


I usually go out of my way to **** on the OP but I agree with him 1000% on this.

The best thing you can do is realize what your league is, and aim in that league. If you want better women, join a better league.


Like, I don't, believe in 1000% cold approaching. It will ruin your self esteem . Not only that, it's just inefficient.

My day job I sale, large websites to clients for my company. That's the bulk of what I do all day. While we do very good work, very high end work, there are some jobs, that are just out of our league and I know it, and I'm not going to waste my resources trying to get that job. maybe one day. But not now.


Even my wife, when I fist met her I didn't just 100% cold approach her, we played eye tag for quite a while. i knew she was looking. I didn't know if she liked me, but I knew she was looking, and that's all you can hope for. At that point you got to take a chance.


I believe this site, "game" should get you over the hump of... you got to starbucks, you see a cute girl, and you catch her glancing at you and turn away, and youare too chicken **** to do antyhing about it lol and you go home and jack off.. to where you see her and your first instinct is to go chat her up. That's what it did for me. When I was single my game was pretty much 1. make strong eye contact with a woman, make them look away,, 2. if they looked back or smiled i knew it was game on, 3. move in


what i don't believe in is "hey man i got to talk to 5 women today" and just go randomly approach 5 women rather they are into you or not.


Even now, there are women that are just "out of my league". I live in LA. I see models on a semi daily basis. Seeing a 5'10 bombshell driving a $100k sports car and step out in 1000 dollar **** me pumps with a 2 thouand dollar outfit on, is almost not even note worthy out here.


The trick is, to not waste time on what is not obtainable. If you wnat it, say one day my goal is to be able to get with women like that consistently. But honestly, i'm not there yet, but this is what i have to do to get there. In the mean time, this is what i CAN realistically get.

 

[HowardHughesDicaprio]

It kinda is a race thing for me. As a middle eastern guy I have been with above average looking white women of all hair colors from light blonde to black, throw in some Mediterranean women in there too if you count them as white. It is just that by observing society, I get the impression that there are some groups of girls here in the US who are only reserved for a certain kind of guy. When I looked at that blonde in the mercedes, already I thought about all the Channing Tatum or Chris Hemsworth lookalikes that she has had. Rich white girl with good looks means she is really going to give a **** about her status, she is going to be very careful about what kind of guys she is seen with or dates because to these girls their status is everything.

It's like you have to meet certain standards which mainly include being white, in her circle (high status), and not ugly. My only problem is that I am one of those middle eastern guys that came out looking swarthy. I am a tan too dark to pass for Mediterranean and put me in the sun long enough and people think I am pakistani.


But hey what do I have to complain about, I have been with a few above average looking white girls and had women of color practically throw themselves at me. It does kind of get to you when you have come as far as I have to see that there are some women out there (outside of female celebs of course) who are just out of your reach.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I once lived on some random person's couch 'cause I couldn't fully afford to get my own place. During this same time, I was dating a law school chick/administrator who was making WAAAAY more money than me. Another time, I dated a chick who pulled in 6 figures a year and was in the process of buying her own house - which, in Los Angeles, is a HUGE expense.

None of the things about these girls having more money than me phased me, because it's all outer-shell stuff that doesn't really matter. She makes more money than me, or has a better car than me? So what? People get nice stuff all the time, and it doesn't mean they are great people. Heck, some of them are using that stuff to cover up the fact that their life is in shambles. The law chick I dated? Her father left her family when she was younger and she had TONS of abandonment issues, baggage, and was stressed out all the time due to her school work load.

As a result, I never, EVER feel a chick is out of my league. Plus, most of them have so many self-esteem issues that even if they appear to be in one league, they don't necessarily see themselves as fitting into that league or even being in the ballpark. So, for example: you're looking at this chick pull up into the coffee shop in the nice car and you think to yourself: "Man, that's an expensive car - she's out of my league." That's what you and every other guy are thinking when you first see her. Me, I'm making different observations, like: "Hmm, I notice she doesn't have a ring on her finger - that means she's probably single. But why is she single? Does she have an attitude problem? Are other guys intimidated by her money? Does she even HAVE money, or is that car a loan/rental/etc.? Is she smiling, and thus easy to approach, or does she look like she might be in a cranky mood? I wonder what I could say to get a conversation going - something about what she's ordering, or maybe her outfit..." And then, I'd make my move.

At the end of the day, your head and your thoughts are going to determine whether or not you score with a chick. If you're thinking she's out of your league upon first seeing her, you're going to be absolutely right. Now, I don't want to act like you won't have a better chance of having long-term success with a chick if certain things are in place, i.e. being financially secure, having good grooming habits, etc.. However, like someone else said on here, until she actually rejects you, always assume the positive - that you have a shot with this chick - and make the best moves you can to try and succeed.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

Do you have to accept that some women are just realistically out of your league?

NO. but you have learn to accept rejection and convert it to your personal development
with this in mind, go for the best, try, fail, succeed, but always have plates. works for me

and for goodness sake, keep them off the pedestal, this is the first and biggest mistake. happened to me also, and it was the worst experience of my love life.

 

[Zarky]

I think you do, OP. There are some guys who would love nothing more than to play in the majors but no matter how hard they try they will never get out of the minor leagues.

There are some guys who would love to play at Wimbledon but will never be seeded in the top 100.

Why would banging hotties be any different? Yes, lots of men never reach their potential because they aim too low. So your task is to aim as high as you can, knowing that it's highly unlikely you'll reach that highest level. And be ok with winding up somewhere in the middle, knowing that at least you gave it your all.

Sounds cliche but it's true.

 

[Tictac]

Yeah, I'm probably never gonna get that date with Sofia Vergara.

 

[backbreaker]

This is what gets me. you take a normal dude that he will never drive a bentley and he is fine with it lol. you tell a normal dude that he will nver have a house on the beach / ocean front with the patio overlooking the ocean.. he's fine with that he finds comfort in his middle class 150k house.

you tell a dude he will never stay in a 1000 a night hotel and he's fine with the marriot


but tell that same guy that he will never date that 9.5HB that is working at the gym and dammit that's the last straw lol. that's it. now the world is ****ed up and he can't take it anymore. Now the world is wrong and is an injustice and it has to be fixed or else!

IF that same dude can just learn to find comfort in what he can get, then dammit it is what it is.

some times really need to just work on yourself but ****.. there comes a time when you have to sit down and give an honest assessment of what you can and can't pull. it doesn't mean you should not be trying to improve but i mean, if you never pulled a HB9 in your life, don't get pissy when they keep rejecting you lol

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207917&page=5

 

[pete101]

So I went to a starbucks today and was ordering my drink and I saw a fancy Mercedes Benz pull up. Being curious like most of the people in the building, I looked to see who got out of the car and it was this girl with looks so good that I am just going to try and do my best to describe them. The girl was a blonde with a face somewhat similar to that of actress Sienna Miller, she wasn't too tall but she was in shape and had nice glowy skin. Something about her just yelled attractive, objectively she was an 8/10 by even internet standards. Add to that the fact that she was a blonde who drove a nice car, you can probably assume she wasn't an easy girl to get.

Now with that said, I know we push the principle of improving yourself and being the best that you can be but is it realistic to accept that in some cases there are things you cannot overcome? For example, as a middle eastern guy I have had no issues with most women regardless of their race but I feel that certain women are just unobtainable for me such as the rich girls who live in the Hamptons for example.

What are your thoughts on this?

I don't think it's un-doable, even for a middle eastern guy, in europe and london in fact you'd do very well but at the same time may attract a lot of hot gold diggers as they assume all middle eastern guys have paper.

with the hot girl in the mercedes tbh, you're right she will take one look at you and make a shallow assessment of whether you're in her league or not, the way to overcome that is to dress really really well as if you have serious paper, not flashy, but well groomed well, like how suave italians from italy dress.

she's likely to clock your wrist your shoes etc to see if it meets a certain level, but ultimately just your dress style. if you're in a smart day blazer smart shirt, jeans and loafers she'll think you're successful and that can supercede the racial issue to an extent because you have style.

the actual back and forth of conversation may surround on where you go out to eat drink etc.. she's testing if you're from 'her' world.

generally speaking i avoid the high maintenance hot women as they're usually gold diggers, but i have had some success in cold approaching them getting the digits and meeting for a drink, the only issue i have is financially i can't afford to necessarily go to the places she may want to, but i get around this by going to cafe's in rich areas or chocolatiers or choosing an action date, or even a nice pub in a rich area which are pretty much like bars.

the gold diggers i avoid cos she'll press to go really fancy places and you know you shouldn't be paying for it, but i target the women who are successful on their own, in banking or just rich kids but go to good universities, they're my favourite ones to meet because they're intelligent and appreciate intellectual conversation despite them going to all the same fancy places the gold diggers do.

i think no women is out of anyone's league (unless she's inherently racist) but whether she'll be your gf is highly unlikely, you can get these women for sex and sex only maybe just once, i've done this before on a few occasions, just when it reached the 4th-5th date i'd have to abort as i generally start small then build bigger date wise $ wise, and they usually want dinner by then, somewhere fancy cos they're accustomed to it, however i blame my game level for not being able to speed seduce them quicker.

i strongly believe if you're dressed impeccably well those women will give you the time of day.

p.s. i have picked up these women in starbucks before so yes is highly doable. although i have to admit i avoid the posh white hot english women (who i feel aren't as hot as the international foreign money girls who live in the area too) as i generally feel they are inherently racist, im not sure if the US counterparts are the same, possibly.

i've seen a few of them this summer, they always travel to london and love the idea of being cultured and seeing europe like it's a big deal, carbon copies of one another, they think they're better than other americans because they travel to europe and not to say vegas or miami and like to hang out with other sophisticated americans who travel to europe. i notice they're always here in summer. but always a bit full of it.

 

[sambwoy]

Isn't it funny how physically attractive people are rated higher in other aspects too? I remember this one guy I knew. He was a good looking guy with muscles to spare and it was funny to watch some girls laugh at his terrible attempts at humor, slapping his arm, convulsing with laughter. You would've thought he was the funniest guy on the planet!! It's the same way with other things too, tall, masculine men are perceived to be in control, leaders based solely on a picture of them.

I'm not trying to be a downer because, as I said, game can work wonders but realistic expectations need to be established.

What doesn't help in helping a guy have any intimate experience is that many females attitudes suck when they AREN'T attracted. We've covered this before on the site.
That's why I prefer male company without necessarily being gay. The large majority of social experiences I have, whatever the shortcoming, are with other men. The reason? Because I'm 'not cute enough' for a female to even talk to me. Why would they say that?

It's such a shame that homophobia exists because the alternative for the average 'straight' man is facing a female who is overly critical of appearances, even in areas of life where it should not matter, and the white knights encourage it as well as allow it. I know what this is like- to be reminded openly that no girl wants you, and in turn it has affected my life decisions.

 

[apprenticedj]

Trolling or not I'm actually loving this thread because it's dealing with realism.

IF that same dude can just learn to find comfort in what he can get, then dammit it is what it is.

I think this is golden. I'm working on learning acceptance, self-acceptance, acceptance of others, acceptance of life in general. Some things are unchangeable, they simply are what they are. Now that doesn't mean I see life as a bleak, stagnant existance but more and more I'm seeing the value in learning to truly accept things they way they are. This has helped me realize that, while I'm always striving to get better EVERY SINGLE DAY, I'm still one bad ass dude, just as I am now. Maybe I'll never drive the Bentley or pull Kate Upton like backbreaker was saying but DAMMIT!! I'm fine with that, my life is awesome without either of those!

What doesn't help in helping a guy have any intimate experience is that many females attitudes suck when they AREN'T attracted.

I hear ya sam! When a man isn't attractive, or stated differently, offers no value to a woman (whether that be social or financial etc) they don't care if you even exist. They're very quick to diss and dismiss you, be gone ugly peasant!

It all comes down to value. What value do you offer? How can you increase the value(s) you bring to the table? When you tap into that you gain some real perspective. You may never be Brad Pitt but having value in other areas makes you stand out. Thanks to social media and it's overabundence of beta orbiters women are seriously overestimating the value they're bringing. State of the game I guess we could say.

 

[HowardHughesDicaprio]

I don't see why anyone who brings up race is "trolling". Now I understand crying about race like Dhoulmagus might do at times can get annoying (though he makes legit points) but the fact of the matter is that, well it matters. I got a bit unlucky in that unlike my cousins I came out looking darker as opposed to the exotic Mediterranean type. No one makes a big deal when white guys are asking how to game foreign women yet when threads are made by minorities on how to get attractive white women, it's a "troll".

Me being middle eastern is a small part of it though, it's just me finally looking at a situation where I see a girl and just feel that she is out of my league. For the first time, it was like I froze up and I even caught her looking at me for a while too. It had to do with my Van Dyke beard that I was growing but I only glanced at her before looking away. It was like this realization in my head that I have not had in a long time. For the first time I failed to approach and even now I knew I couldn't do it. It's like even if she approached me I would frozen up and sounded awkward....

 

[The_411]

It kinda is a race thing for me. As a middle eastern guy I have been with above average looking white women of all hair colors from light blonde to black, throw in some Mediterranean women in there too if you count them as white. It is just that by observing society, I get the impression that there are some groups of girls here in the US who are only reserved for a certain kind of guy. When I looked at that blonde in the mercedes, already I thought about all the Channing Tatum or Chris Hemsworth lookalikes that she has had. Rich white girl with good looks means she is really going to give a **** about her status, she is going to be very careful about what kind of guys she is seen with or dates because to these girls their status is everything.

It's like you have to meet certain standards which mainly include being white, in her circle (high status), and not ugly. My only problem is that I am one of those middle eastern guys that came out looking swarthy. I am a tan too dark to pass for Mediterranean and put me in the sun long enough and people think I am pakistani.


But hey what do I have to complain about, I have been with a few above average looking white girls and had women of color practically throw themselves at me. It does kind of get to you when you have come as far as I have to see that there are some women out there (outside of female celebs of course) who are just out of your reach.

I think that you may be suffering from your own suppositions and self-limiting beliefs. You made an assumption that the woman would automatically disqualify you simply because of your race. While that could be the case there's no way to know until you approach.

I'm not going to sit here and lie and pump sunshine up your arse and say it's equal but it's a matter of assuming that a woman is interested until she shows you she isn't.

 

[backbreaker]

i have the opposite. My mom is mixed, so I'm.. i'm not high yellow, but i'm by no means dark skinned. I'm about the same complexion as...will smith. maybe a shade lighter.


dark skinned people never really have liked me lol.

 

[HowardHughesDicaprio]

That's fair danger.

This thread kinda served as more of a field report in my eyes in the sense that I haven't thought about this for a while. I have been guilty of putting women into groups in the past such as saying how blondes are one way and italian women are another but this was more about me thinking whether we as men need to know our limits.

Throughout so suave there is this "you can do anything you set your mind to" mentality in terms of women but I posted this thread asking if we need to accept that as men, there are some women we cannot get. It wasn't even about race, as I have said, I have done well with white women but just particular kinds of women that are basically at the top of the ladder here in American society. It's more like me asking, are there barriers so powerful that game and other components of SMV in your control just cannot overcome?

 

[backbreaker]

but a field report implies that you are in the field and you reporting from the field. But your OP is just you going to starbucks, seeing a girl you deemed unapproaching, and complaining about it. That's sideline reporting


either approach her, or admit "damn she's out of my league"

 

[HowardHughesDicaprio]

but a field report implies that you are in the field and you reporting from the field. But your OP is just you going to starbucks, seeing a girl you deemed unapproaching, and complaining about it. That's sideline reporting


either approach her, or admit "damn she's out of my league"

and we have a winner!

looks like after all these years I have found my limit and maybe in the future I push past it as I improve more but I am afraid I might have peaked.

 

[pete101]

To me it is trolling because you constantly post on it, dwell on it even, but with no purpose in mind as far as I can tell.

It would be different if it served a long-term purpose, but I don't see what that purpose is. If it does, what purpose is that?

What is the message you are trying to send that can make an impact? What is your desired impact with these constant threads?

i think he has a point though, i mean the one thing i can say definitively is that if you're white caucasian from a western country you have NO idea what it is like for someone who's an ethnic minority trying to game women of any colour or white. Those who are caucasian and preach 'oh race does not matter' have no clue how much of an effect it has nor will they, it's not as if you could walk a day in their shoes to see what it is really like.. then one can preach that race is not an issue.

i'm from a place where there is every single different mix of nationality, race, creed etc and forget the white versus ethnic minorities debate, i just compare the differences between the ethnic minorities and see a difference in that and i agree with the OP that the colour of your skin, features makes a HUGE difference and this is coming from someone who in the past has had success with all kinds of women allbeit one night stands or same night lays, so i do believe your game can transcend you to an extent tho and that glass ceiling is lower for some than others..

this isn't a self limiting belief it's more realism. i have to work so much harder than my white friends or even friends of other ethnic minorities and i wouldn't say it's worth it, i'm always angry and annoyed when i get flaked on whereas they can brush it off more easily cos they have way more options than i will ever have.. just a fact of life, it takes 10 times as much effort for me to get the same number of plates as they do and i just dont have the energy or time to be doing all that.

but to the OP what i said in my previous post about dressing as if you're successful is probably the only way to actually get these women, i'm not saying she'll be your gf or whatever but she'll at least give you a shot. admittedly you have to be even more successful (or look it) from her white male counterparts but hey at least she is obtainable if you just change 1-2 small things.

 

[backbreaker]

i think he has a point though, i mean the one thing i can say definitively is that if you're white caucasian from a western country you have NO idea what it is like for someone who's an ethnic minority trying to game women of any colour or white. Those who are caucasian and preach 'oh race does not matter' have no clue how much of an effect it has nor will they, it's not as if you could walk a day in their shoes to see what it is really like.. then one can preach that race is not an issue.

i'm from a place where there is every single different mix of nationality, race, creed etc and forget the white versus ethnic minorities debate, i just compare the differences between the ethnic minorities and see a difference in that and i agree with the OP that the colour of your skin, features makes a HUGE difference and this is coming from someone who in the past has had success with all kinds of women allbeit one night stands or same night lays, so i do believe your game can transcend you to an extent tho and that glass ceiling is lower for some than others..

this isn't a self limiting belief it's more realism. i have to work so much harder than my white friends or even friends of other ethnic minorities and i wouldn't say it's worth it, i'm always angry and annoyed when i get flaked on whereas they can brush it off more easily cos they have way more options than i will ever have.. just a fact of life, it takes 10 times as much effort for me to get the same number of plates as they do and i just dont have the energy or time to be doing all that.

but to the OP what i said in my previous post about dressing as if you're successful is probably the only way to actually get these women, i'm not saying she'll be your gf or whatever but she'll at least give you a shot. admittedly you have to be even more successful (or look it) from her white male counterparts but hey at least she is obtainable if you just change 1-2 small things.

i've always had a theory. Educated black guys are prob per capita the most AFC guys in america. Because they don't have very many options, and lack of options is the number 1 cause of AFC ism . they end up being overly clingy to girls that they are around

 

[Maximus Rex]

I Posted This Question on RSD Nation

I asked this question on three different message boards, including RSD Nation. One of the responses from from none other than Tyler himself, this was his reply,

Realize that 99% of what you read as far as men's opinion on pick up is as utter garbage as their opinions on how to make money.

Getting laid a lot and making a lot of money has verifiable rules to follow that are well documented. Learn them and ignore the noise. Do You Believe This Nonsense About Certain Women Being Out of Your League? http://www.rsdnation.com/node/538931 Post #2

 

[foreverAFC]

i work around a lot of those types of females, im a low level IT guy at one of the hottest companies in silicon valley right now, and whats become disturbingly apparent is that most of these types of women are dating or married to guys who look like roman polanksi and ron jeremy. i was under the impression that these women were all dating a guy that looked like tom brady, but what they seem to care about most is a guy who has a high paying career. they may look at a guy like me who spent all his time training martial arts and hitting the gym, but they are going home to ron jeremy every night and making him go to her friends weddings and things like that.