Do you ever feel like being on this forum is DEstructive to your "game"?

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
Dude, drive up to Mass & go out with drex and MAC next time


Seriously.


Oscar.

Massachusetts is a long ways away, but I'll consider it if I'm ever in the area. I think dave134 was trying to organize a DJ club-night in DC recently, but it fell through.

 

[princelydeeds]

If you dont call and communicate, how do you know you cant get laid? Just call give it a shot. How do you know if you don't try?

Practice practice practice. Use these chicks as practice, see what works see what doesn't work. I have boned many chicks that I didn't think were interested in me. I have also boned many chicks that weren't all that hot to me. Trust me when I say this, sexually very attractive women usually suck in bed and a pain in the ass to live with. I prefer women that are attractive but not too attractive. Women who are somewhat ugly will do whatever it takes to please you, especially in the bedroom. I woud ratehr screw a a chick that will do whatever I want whenever I want. Than some selfish broad who is only worried about herself.

You are a DJ you can make them be interested by talking. Its not teh board, its you. If you keep saying "I don't want her and shes too boring, and shes too ugly" then you won't get anybody. You're already alone and not getting laid. Its not the worlds problem its yours. My mother always told me "if what you're doing isn't getting you what you want, maybe you need to try something else."

 

[BobbDobbs]

Originally posted by squirrels
I wonder why, if I can't bang a girl on the first night, I even bother getting the phone number, because it just means I have to spend time with her/put up with her/work on her, and that's no fun.

Sheesh! Talk about unrealistic expectations.

 

[Oxide]

after being here for few months, you realize that all this....all this is simply

OVERANALYZING.

After learning stuff from this board ive began to overanalyze women so much, and my actions to them. When to call, what to say, how to say it, when to meet, what to do, what to bring?

Its all good if u are completely clueless, but after gaining all the right skills , all you need to do is : STOP learning theories and start practicing. Most of the time i talk to girls i dont even care for C+F and kino anymore, it comes out natural WHEN I WANT IT.

So go out there man, forget the board and have fun

 

[bugsquish]

Squirrels: I just didn't get any kind of physical response from her, not to mention that she seemed air-headed and I didn't feel like spending time with her, either.

I know you're sick of hearing this dude... but Princely is right, you need to stop making excuses. You DID get a physical response, she gave you her number. And who cares if she's air headed? If you're not going for a LTR why does it matter? Air headed chicks can be a lot of fun in the short term, good practise, and STILL a wet puss.

Realise your excuses come from fear.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by bugsquish
I know you're sick of hearing this dude... but Princely is right, you need to stop making excuses. You DID get a physical response, she gave you her number. And who cares if she's air headed? If you're not going for a LTR why does it matter? Air headed chicks can be a lot of fun in the short term, good practise, and STILL a wet puss.

Realise your excuses come from fear.

As soon as you get into the whole "dating" garbage, you ARE in an LTR. That's the problem. You've committed to spending time with someone who fails to entertain you any way other than sexually.

Maybe you bang her, maybe you go 2 or 3 dates with no sexual responsiveness and you move on. The point is that, regardless of the outcome, you've wasted 2 or 3 days of your life pretending to like someone who can be downright boring or annoying. Is a 50-50 shot at poonani really worth the hassle? That's time you could've been devoting to finding other women...or hobbies...or even SLEEP.

It seems contrary to the whole "do what you want, when you want" philosophy, that's all. Maybe there's something wrong with my sex drive, but for some reason, the idea of spending non-sexual time with these women just in the hopes of eventually getting some sex...makes me feel ill.

I guess what I'm saying is that it feels AFC to buy sex from women with my time. I can't seem to get by my general disinterest in these women long enough to get to what I'm REALLY interested in.

 

[bugsquish]

Originally posted by squirrels
Maybe you bang her, maybe you go 2 or 3 dates with no sexual responsiveness and you move on. The point is that, regardless of the outcome, you've wasted 2 or 3 days of your life pretending to like someone who can be downright boring or annoying. Is a 50-50 shot at poonani really worth the hassle? That's time you could've been devoting to finding other women...or hobbies...or even SLEEP.

A waste is the last thing it is, especially if you need the experience. Use those 2-3 dates purely to experiment with ways of raising that sexual responsiveness. Whether you get sex or not (which can be a bonus, not a goal) you walked away with practical experience which you can carry with you forever.

It feels AFC to buy sex from women with my time

Time, or money - take your pick

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by bugsquish

Time, or money - take your pick

That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about...how is giving your time to a woman ANY different than giving her a drink, or flowers, or compliments, or anything else? It's supplication. You're giving her something in the hopes of winning her favor and getting her to have sex with you. It's contrary to the idea of YOU being the prize and HER having to sacrifice HER time to be with YOU.

I don't know right now...right now I'm kind of at an all-time low. I haven't been in this kind of state of mind since I found this forum. I feel confused, angry, envious, afraid, hurt, doubtful, and tired. I'm tired of being mediocre at everything I do. I'm tired of trying time and time again just to be stifled by my nature or my circumstances.

I see other people out there who do things effortlessly, without even TRYING. I, in the meantime, try new things over and over again and always manage to reach the same plateau of mediocrity. I'm starting to doubt I was ever built for this.

THAT's what I'm afraid of...that I'll end up mediocre. That I don't have it IN me to improve any further...that I was simply not born with the potential to be any better than I am.

Part of me knows this is utter bulls#!t, but then another part is tired of listening to that part...tired of listening to the DJ forum, tired of climbing up only to fall again and again at the same point, no matter what I try. And afraid that the reward for all of this effort and all of this failure won't be worth it...that the most I'll be able to achieve is less than I want and I'll have to "settle" for a hollow victory.

For a little while, when I was at a high point, I was doing things because I WANTED to, because even if I failed, I succeeded in experiencing failure and learning from my mistakes. I just don't feel like I'm learning any more, and the experience itself doesn't justify the effort.

And I see people around me taking my advice and succeeding, so I KNOW what needs to be done...I just don't know if I'm capable of doing it myself.

This is self pity, I know. And it's pathetic. I just don't know how to deal with it right now.

 

[es_mer8]

It's contrary to the idea of YOU being the prize and HER having to sacrifice HER time to be with YOU.

A lot of the DJ sayings are made to give you confidence. Of course everything comes down to the woman. We are still slaves to the almighty poon no matter how we try. DJing is just a way to increase our chances of getting some. We can try every DJ tactic and have it execute perfectly, yet she can still turn us down. We can get naked and then she decides not to and goes off. You are stuck there with only you and your unused penis.

The key is really not to literally follow that advice. In fact, I recommend taking everything in the DJ Bible with a few grains of salt. Some of the DJ methods like neghits are just complete wastes of time and almost sure-fail.

I'm tired of being mediocre at everything I do. I'm tired of trying time and time again just to be stifled by my nature or my circumstances.

I'll be blunt.

You will never be the best at something. Sometimes it may even be DJing. Hell, often times after weight lifting, I have doubts on any progress. I noticed a lot of progress in the first month or so but the remaining two months, I've seen little to no growth in any of my lifting. I get down at that but I realized one thing:

Change is eventual. I hate how I'm not seeing any results. However I feel that in a year from now I will look like a whole new person. I will not be fat or even overweight. I want to be a man who has big (not huge) muscles, a six pack, and a bench of at least 275 pounds and do at least 5 reps with it. I seriously believe this is possible in a years' time. If not, I want to be as close to that goal as possible.

However its not going to be overnight.

I get that feeling too of mediocrity. Yes, I get turned down by women. Yes, I feel that physically I am about a C- if I were to get graded. However you have to take the time to turn that C- to an A+

I'm starting to doubt I was ever built for this.

Doubting is the first step towards failure if you ask me. Even if you're not as good as one person, if you try hard enough and see good enough results, you should be happy. If you're talking about girls, some people I know who are DJs or close to them that have the same behavior since they were 6, ie a DJ behavior. However some of us have been tainted by feminized values and must try to undo years of damage. 10+ years of damage cannot get undone in just 6 months. Hell, it may take another 10 years to see that change. Maybe 5. Maybe 6 months from this post. You have to keep trying. Its better to try and fail than to never try in the first place.

THAT's what I'm afraid of...that I'll end up mediocre.

So let me get this straight...your solution is to give up? If this is your only way out, don't let the door hit you on your ass on the way out of here.

that the most I'll be able to achieve is less than I want and I'll have to "settle" for a hollow victory.

Nobody ever gets to 100% of their dream unless its a really low dream. At age 6, you see so many kids wanting to be astronauts, doctors, and presidents but how many actually make it there? Less than 1%. Most people eventually just realize that their fantasy isn't reality and "settle" for construction workers, retail managers, and cubicle jockeys. Some hate it and others accept it and make the most out of it. Then they do really good at their job and make so much money that it all comes out well for them in the end. Meanwhile the disgruntled workers stay at their entry level positions or the default raises and become bitter, hating life by 50.

I just don't know how to deal with it right now

Take time off from this site is my recommendation. During this time off, do some more self reflecting and try to eliminate these doubts. Think of what you have accomplished. Write down a list of baby step goals that are achievable. Hit the DJ Bible and read every word. Go to malls and just say hi to everyone. Then move up at your pace. Don't let anyone affect your pacing. We all hear stories of people that go from DFC to DJ in a matter of weeks but if you're not comfortable at that pacing, then go as what you want. You will find yourself a better person in the end.

 

[Grey Fox]

It wouldn't hurt you to go "Ronin" for a bit. Meaning no activity on the board, not even lurking. No asking friends for advice, just simply go out and date a lot of women and learn from that. Oh and no analytical thinking, just think of it as a mental vacation. Couldn't hurt.

-Grey Fox

 

[iqqi]

how is giving your time to a woman ANY different than giving her a drink, or flowers, or compliments, or anything else? It's supplication. You're giving her something in the hopes of winning her favor and getting her to have sex with you.

that's why you give them what you want to give them.

and you're only going to attract women who are willing to be used how you want to use them, you are probaly very obvious and the females can sense this, you will never get them in bed because that is all you really care about.

and if that is all you want be realistic, what are you offering? aren't you a virgin? most girls who just wanna fcuk wanna be fcuked good.

save yourself for someone you care about who cares about you. but that is just my advice.

 

[Bonhomme]

Loosen up

Your main block right now is this very kind of thinking.

You have a right to screw up. And sometimes what seems to be the wrong thing to do works out right if it comes from the heart and from a position of strength.

Go out, live life, make mistakes, and enjoy what you're doing.

I've decided to do just that, and confidently do what I want, whether or not some on this site call it "AFC."

There may be some lines of thought that approach the level of dogma on this site that can be let go once you're largely reconditioned. One of my peeves is the idea that it is wrong to show strong interest or give flowers and gifts. That assumption is wrong.

It's only through experience that you can learn to pick up the vibe and do what's appropriate for a given gal in a given situation. One gal may respond to a hard-to-get style, whereas another (like one of my recent girlfriends) might flip over well-chosen flowers and/or gifts. I could see she was obviously starved for romance, and I gave it to her. Find what she needs (even if it's indifference), and confidently be the MAN who provides it.

Take the info here, digest it, and make it your own.

 

[icepick]

Hey squirrels!

Never forget this philosophy:

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