DO women care less about YOUR problems?

[penguin]

My girlfriend does the same thing. She *****es and moans until the cows come home, gets up the next day, and resumes complaining about her petty, sad excuse for problems.

I put up with it, day in day out, with all the drama, and in the VERY few times that I am in need of support, she snaps and claims "it's always about you isn't it?" and says how me needing support every now and then is some how me attacking her and all this crap and *boom* she has her way and the drama is again focused on her. It goes from "i'm having a rough time at the moment" to her saying "oh you don't love me anymore!"

They simply do not care. They want and want, but don't want to give. That's the way it goes i guess.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I'll second the attitude that women in LTRs care very little about a man's problems.

It also has to do with age and how the woman was brought up.

Gotta remember guys, most of these women probably had fathers who raised them tough. Her dad was probably strong, independant, bread-winner, WHO NEVER CRIED, complained, or showed worry to his wife or kids. And if there was worry, he'd handle it.

Its a good rule to know that in an LTR, most women will hold their view of a boyfriend and compare that with their father.

When it comes to emotional support for a man's problem, save it for friends, a therapist, your gym buddy. It seems the longer you are in a relationship, and the more a woman see's how "all together" you actually may not be...the less interest she will have in you.

Yea it sucks. We want our gf's to be like our mommys and support us through thick and thin. Good or bad. Easy and hard times. Like mommy did. But, we dont f*ck our mommies.

Yes, there are women who will support a man through thick and thin and doesn't care that "the grass maybe greener" on the other side. But, these women are few..and I think that women like these only come around with the woman's age and experiences in past relationships.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

As a woman she is suupose to be your comforter and consoler - this chick is selfish and is not the woman you want to be with in the long-term ----- FLEE!!!!!!

 

[diplomatic_lie]

That's funny. Every woman I've been in an LTR with have cared about my problems. In fact she keeps asking me if something's wrong, even if my only problem is the fact I lost a dollar somewhere in my pants.

Don't be so pessimistic.

 

[Wyldfire]

A lot of people (male and female alike) are just plain self absorbed and don't care about how anyone else feels.

Someone who genuinely cares about you will always lend a sympathetic and supportive ear to you. They will listen and they will care and at least try to offer their support and help.

This particular girl is just very self absorbed and probably doesn't really care as much as you'd like her to.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-

Gotta remember guys, most of these women probably had fathers who raised them tough. Her dad was probably strong, independant, bread-winner, WHO NEVER CRIED, complained, or showed worry to his wife or kids. And if there was worry, he'd handle it.

This stereotype makes me laugh pretty hard. My father was the worst whiner. He always felt sorry for himself, and was always looking for some quick easy way to get rich. Then he'd sit around on his ass and eat, gain weight and then the back problems would kick in. In the meantime, my mother would be busting her ovaries, working her ass off providing for our family. My Mom was the strong one. She never complained, was the main bread winner, main disciplinarian and was the responsible and dependable one. Even when she was in horrible pain on her death bed NOT ONCE did she complain or feel sorry for herself. My father, on the other hand, wallowed in self-pity all his life and continued to do so up until the day he died. It's impossible for me to relate to the tales of the hard working devoted husband and father who sacrifices everything for his family. My father wastn't like that and my ex husband sure wasn't like that. Of my three sisters, only one of their husbands is even remotely like that but she puts in just as much effort as he does and they've been married going on 30 years now. And she worked to put him through college on top of that, too.

Sometimes I think you guys just don't bother to look beyond what you want to see...

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
This stereotype makes me laugh pretty hard. My father was the worst whiner. He always felt sorry for himself, and was always looking for some quick easy way to get rich. Then he'd sit around on his ass and eat, gain weight and then the back problems would kick in. In the meantime, my mother would be busting her ovaries, working her ass off providing for our family. My Mom was the strong one. She never complained, was the main bread winner, main disciplinarian and was the responsible and dependable one. Even when she was in horrible pain on her death bed NOT ONCE did she complain or feel sorry for herself. My father, on the other hand, wallowed in self-pity all his life and continued to do so up until the day he died. It's impossible for me to relate to the tales of the hard working devoted husband and father who sacrifices everything for his family. My father wastn't like that and my ex husband sure wasn't like that. Of my three sisters, only one of their husbands is even remotely like that but she puts in just as much effort as he does and they've been married going on 30 years now. And she worked to put him through college on top of that, too.

Sometimes I think you guys just don't bother to look beyond what you want to see...

sounds like those guys were never rasied as men. I guess AFCs have existed for a while now.

Maybe they never had a father that kicked their ass around for being a whiner.
I alot of women also like to run their man down and make him feel worthless by lowering his ego. This is how women have asserted power in modern relationships.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
This stereotype makes me laugh pretty hard. My father was the worst whiner. He always felt sorry for himself, and was always looking for some quick easy way to get rich. Then he'd sit around on his ass and eat, gain weight and then the back problems would kick in.......
Sometimes I think you guys just don't bother to look beyond what you want to see...

Re-read my post again.

"Its a good rule to know that in an LTR, most women will hold their view of a boyfriend and compare that with their father."

So...lets just say you meet a man...who is a whiner, always feel sorry for himself, and was looking for a quick and easy way to get rich...kinda reminds you of your father eh??

Would you date him? HELL NO!!! You don't want to go through the same stuff your mother had to go through. I'm more likelihood, you'd gravitate to a man who is opposite.

I never said in my post that a woman will gravitate to a man who is similar to her father...she will compare though...which is natural for a woman to do when they look for a man for an LTR.

If your father was a great man, strong, confident, bread winner...I'm sure you'd gravitate to a man like that..because that was your example of a man.

Maybe with your age and experience dating men over your years..you've formed new opinions...but, my generalization is for the younger women.

 

[AMF]

Hypnotiq, taking on what youre saying, I'll throw in my experience that the girls who DIDNT have the strong father figure are the ones who are more caring.

Their security in themselves is somehow bound up with the paternal relationship.

Low paternal support = more devoted.

Daddys girls = princess/AW/self-absorbed.

Its as if girls learn what they "deserve" or should expect from a man, based on their father's treatment and investment in them.

Thats always been my experience.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by AMF
Hypnotiq, taking on what youre saying, I'll throw in my experience that the girls who DIDNT have the strong father figure are the ones who are more caring.

Their security in themselves is somehow bound up with the paternal relationship.

Low paternal support = more devoted.

Daddys girls = princess/AW/self-absorbed.

Its as if girls learn what they "deserve" or should expect from a man, based on their father's treatment and investment in them.

Thats always been my experience.

Nicely put. Those have been my experience as well.

Good insight.

 

[K B]

Oh, she ASKS me what is wrong all right, and you know what? I think she has good intentions. The fact is, I hardly ever have something I can't handle myself. But, when you are with someone who supposedly knows you better than anybody else, you would THINK it would be alright to talk about things that might not be going so well at that particular time.

The thing is, sometimes a person of the opposite sex will have a different view on things, they can see things that you can't sometimes, and vice versa. Only once I tell her, I get the gut instinct that she is dissapointed. She will talk down to me, and that pisses me off. She then gets mad at me for being mad, and the cycle starts. I NEVER talk down to her, and i will not put up with it from her. So, from now on, I will just keep my problems to myself.

I have heard numerous times on this thread, "she is not your mommy." Well, NO SH!T!! On the contrary, it seems I have to be her DADDY in order to keep her in line, to calm her down, to show her that things are never as bad as she likes to complain. I think women were put on this Earth to COMPLAIN and comand attention.

WOMEN:
You can't live with them, you can't live with them.

 

[MetalFortress]

KB, if you continue to go out with a woman who doesn't act like she cares about you, feel free to punch yourself in the face, because you are getting USED and accepting it.

Originally posted by penguin
My girlfriend does the same thing. She *****es and moans until the cows come home, gets up the next day, and resumes complaining about her petty, sad excuse for problems.

I put up with it, day in day out, with all the drama, and in the VERY few times that I am in need of support, she snaps and claims "it's always about you isn't it?" and says how me needing support every now and then is some how me attacking her and all this crap and *boom* she has her way and the drama is again focused on her. It goes from "i'm having a rough time at the moment" to her saying "oh you don't love me anymore!"

They simply do not care. They want and want, but don't want to give. That's the way it goes i guess.

You, too, can feel free to punch yourself in the face.

It really seems simple to me. I've only been in relationships with girls who would do nothing but CARE and SYMPATHIZE and try their best to make me feel better, if I were to say I was having some troubles at the time. PRLover was right. You guys are getting owned and you're blind to the fact.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by K B
Oh, she ASKS me what is wrong all right, and you know what? I think she has good intentions. The fact is, I hardly ever have something I can't handle myself. But, when you are with someone who supposedly knows you better than anybody else, you would THINK it would be alright to talk about things that might not be going so well at that particular time.

The thing is, sometimes a person of the opposite sex will have a different view on things, they can see things that you can't sometimes, and vice versa. Only once I tell her, I get the gut instinct that she is dissapointed. She will talk down to me, and that pisses me off. She then gets mad at me for being mad, and the cycle starts. I NEVER talk down to her, and i will not put up with it from her. So, from now on, I will just keep my problems to myself.

I have heard numerous times on this thread, "she is not your mommy." Well, NO SH!T!! On the contrary, it seems I have to be her DADDY in order to keep her in line, to calm her down, to show her that things are never as bad as she likes to complain. I think women were put on this Earth to COMPLAIN and comand attention.

WOMEN:
You can't live with them, you can't live with them.

I would have to agree. All the women I know just ***** and complain all day. Even at work they fight with each other and think everyone is out to get them.

Most americanized women are complaining *****es.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
sounds like those guys were never rasied as men. I guess AFCs have existed for a while now.

Maybe they never had a father that kicked their ass around for being a whiner.
I alot of women also like to run their man down and make him feel worthless by lowering his ego. This is how women have asserted power in modern relationships.

Oh for the love of Christ, Kevin...do you ever even bother actually READ the posts you respond to? I've yet to see you make a single post that made even one iota of sense....EVER.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
Re-read my post again.

"Its a good rule to know that in an LTR, most women will hold their view of a boyfriend and compare that with their father."

So...lets just say you meet a man...who is a whiner, always feel sorry for himself, and was looking for a quick and easy way to get rich...kinda reminds you of your father eh??

Would you date him? HELL NO!!! You don't want to go through the same stuff your mother had to go through. I'm more likelihood, you'd gravitate to a man who is opposite.

I never said in my post that a woman will gravitate to a man who is similar to her father...she will compare though...which is natural for a woman to do when they look for a man for an LTR.

If your father was a great man, strong, confident, bread winner...I'm sure you'd gravitate to a man like that..because that was your example of a man.

Maybe with your age and experience dating men over your years..you've formed new opinions...but, my generalization is for the younger women.

Nope...I don't guage my opinion of any man based on the behavior/ways of my father or any other man. I actually model myself more after my mother.

 

[penkitten]

i gotta agree with wyld here.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by AMF
Hypnotiq, taking on what youre saying, I'll throw in my experience that the girls who DIDNT have the strong father figure are the ones who are more caring.

Their security in themselves is somehow bound up with the paternal relationship.

Low paternal support = more devoted.

Daddys girls = princess/AW/self-absorbed.

Its as if girls learn what they "deserve" or should expect from a man, based on their father's treatment and investment in them.

Thats always been my experience.

You're kinda on the right track....but a little off. Girls who are spoiled (by either parent) grow up to believe they are entitled to have everything handed to them, are selfish, self absorbed and are end up being high maintenance women. Girls who are taught the value and pride in a job well done, what it means to earn things and work towards goals place more value in things other than themselves. It has nothing to do with the relationship a girl has with her father. I also have never thought I "deserved" any particular treatment based on the way my father was or wasn't. That's all just a bunch of pop-psychology bunk and you shouldn't buy into it.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by K B
Oh, she ASKS me what is wrong all right, and you know what? I think she has good intentions. The fact is, I hardly ever have something I can't handle myself. But, when you are with someone who supposedly knows you better than anybody else, you would THINK it would be alright to talk about things that might not be going so well at that particular time.

The thing is, sometimes a person of the opposite sex will have a different view on things, they can see things that you can't sometimes, and vice versa. Only once I tell her, I get the gut instinct that she is dissapointed. She will talk down to me, and that pisses me off. She then gets mad at me for being mad, and the cycle starts. I NEVER talk down to her, and i will not put up with it from her. So, from now on, I will just keep my problems to myself.

I have heard numerous times on this thread, "she is not your mommy." Well, NO SH!T!! On the contrary, it seems I have to be her DADDY in order to keep her in line, to calm her down, to show her that things are never as bad as she likes to complain. I think women were put on this Earth to COMPLAIN and comand attention.

WOMEN:
You can't live with them, you can't live with them.

KB...if you don't like dealing with self centered high maintenace women then perhaps you might want to stop getting involved with women like that. It's really quite simple, afterall. Wouldn't that be easier than complaining about how insensitive and uncaring she is? If you don't like it go find someone to date who IS caring...problem solved.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
I would have to agree. All the women I know just ***** and complain all day. Even at work they fight with each other and think everyone is out to get them.

Most americanized women are complaining *****es.

Kevin...you piss and moan far more than ANY woman I've ever met...seriously.

 

[thefonz]

I have to disagree with you guys.....women will except (once in awhile that is) a man who vents his problems. The thing is though you really have to "act" to pull it off. Much like singing a song, you wanna completely vent your emotions and frustration in just the right fashion while avoiding a vomit fest of emotional drivel. Hit the right chords, sing the harmonies in tune etc. It can be done but it's not the REAL way you would choose to express.

Come on, how many of us here completely changed the way we act, talk, and walk after coming to this site.....same idea applied to this topic