DO women care less about YOUR problems?

[K B]

Hey gang,

This is something I have just recently observed. I have been with my girl for about a year now, and thanks to this site, I have had her eating out of my hand.

However, no matter how "suave" you are, life has it's good times and bad. There will be a point in time that something will bother you, something will have you stumped, or the chips will be down. In my life, to finish up my degree, I took an overload semester, plus work has left me exhausted and basically no free time to hit the gym when I want. All of this extra stress at times would affect my mood, because after all, I am only human.

My girl could tell that something was bothering me, because I am usually so "alive." Well, I just told her straight out that I was having a rough time at college, am constantly tired, etc. And she just seemed to get upset at me. I got through that, and about a year later, something else came up in my life, and after her begging me to "talk to her," I ended up with the same result. When she gets this way, I call her out on her BS, and this only starts an argument.

I have come to the conclusion that girls don't really give a rat's @ss about our problems. She has all these stupid, petty problems all the time, and I encourage her and do things to take her mind off of it. But if I have something difficult going on in MY life, I have no right to be stressed. This really upsets her. I hardly ever get down, but when I do, I feel as if I am on my own.

Do any of you feel this way?

 

[DeathDealer]

People can be selfish.

 

[BLUEox117]

women are weak
men are strong


figure it out.

 

[TheDonUK]

Your right man, Girls are happy to wax lyrical all night about their problems (which are usually so damn trivial you feel like slapping them) but the moment you take focus of them, you can see they dont give a ****....

If the sex is good, just listen to her bull****, smile, **** the **** out of her and go about your business... Or find someone else.... Either way you wont be able to change someone like that....

 

[K B]

BLUEox, you must have the brains of an ox. It's responses like yours that give this forum a bad name.

The point is NOBODY can be strong every waking moment. I keep what I have going on to myself most of the time. When a girl you are in a LTR with tells you that she can tell there is something bothering you, you can't tell her "nothing" forever. Because then she will figure it out and complain that you don't talk to her enough, or let her "in" enough. Then, when you do, it's like they can't take it or something.

I think the TheDon UK hit the nail on the head--everything is fine until you take the focus off of their stupid, trivial problems.

 

[PRMoon]

I don't know, I've had girls give me some pretty strong good advice about my life and what they think I should do in my day.

My former room mate was very good about noticing things about my mannerism and always knew what to do when she thought I was feeling down or out of steam or whatever. We weren't even dating but she did have a b/f who treated her pretty bad, so she just needed to fill an emotinal void that she had with him by displasing some of that concern and what not on me.

Good times with Ames, is definately a rare situations, most girls I know aren't smart enough to diagnose me, but they're are a couple out there who are better than average.

Shop around some more you'll see.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by BLUEox117
women are weak
men are strong


figure it out.

I totally agree with this, but I think that women are stronger nurturers

Women do not support men and their problems they are the ones that need to be supported.

Being a man is all about being strong inside. Men can deal with emotional problems much easier than women can.

I've tried to talk to a woman about things that I was struggling with. I have found that women either don't know how to respond or it bothers them too much.

The best thing to do is to talk about your problems with someone else and not your woman. If she likes you and cares about you it will just bother her and she will become less attracted to you because you upset her. As a man you shouldn't worry a woman with problems that you can deal with yourself.

A hot girl will usually not know how to respond because her life revolves around her. Most hot girls are very selfish and you just can't expect that much out of them.

Yes guys you are just going to have to accept the fact that YOU are the man and it is YOU who must be strong inside. When you deal with a problem on your own it will mold you and shape you. A man is like a sculpture; his inner strength is formed from all the hammer and chisel marks he suffers.

don't listen to the bullcrap that a lot of women like guys that cry. That is just feminist garbage that is completely un true. Those feminist women don't want you to be a man. If you think otherwise, then go for it. Cry infront of the next hot chick you hook up with. Just watch how fast she runs. You will end up looking like Eeyore the donkey from winnie the pooh.

Women I know have told me that they like me because I don't complain and I'm relaxed. In fact, a woman can yell and scream at me and I will just reply in a calm manner. Women are unstable emotionally and they need a guy who is stable that they can lean on. That is the natural order of things.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by K B
BLUEox, you must have the brains of an ox. It's responses like yours that give this forum a bad name.

The point is NOBODY can be strong every waking moment. I keep what I have going on to myself most of the time. When a girl you are in a LTR with tells you that she can tell there is something bothering you, you can't tell her "nothing" forever. Because then she will figure it out and complain that you don't talk to her enough, or let her "in" enough. Then, when you do, it's like they can't take it or something.

I think the TheDon UK hit the nail on the head--everything is fine until you take the focus off of their stupid, trivial problems.

NOOOO!.... you should always say "nothing" Let her deal with it. That makes her feel like a woman and lets her know that you are a man. The more it bothers her the more she cares about you. so don't worry about that. A woman will never dump you because you don't talk to her about your problems. It will also give her something to talk to her friends about (which is what all women love). "oh.. he never talks about his feelings... bla bla bla bla bla"

 

[StringShredder]

Always tell a woman: "Don't worry, it doesn't concern you. I don't dump my problems onto other people; I deal with them and fix them myself, and always come out on top".

This way you stay mysterious and challenging to her, and you look like a proper man who deals with things.

But more importantly, you are not letting a woman meddle in your business. Nothing good can possibly come out of that. Behind every fallen man stands a triumphant woman.

Keep her in the dark as much as possible about what you do when you are not with her, which includes whatever business or work you are engaged in.

Reminder her that she's the little girl who need not worry her pretty head about her big man.

 

[K B]

Always tell a woman: "Don't worry, it doesn't concern you. I don't dump my problems onto other people; I deal with them and fix them myself".

You tell a woman you are in a LTR with those words, and she WILL get mad.

Reminder her that she's the little girl who need not worry her pretty head about her big man.

Good advice...I like that!

I do agree with the crying part. NEVER cry in front of a woman. So it seems that, no matter what, I will have to find other ways of dealing with whatever comes my way, or keep it to myself.

I guess this proves once again that you can't please a woman. You keep things to yourself, she complains that you never "let her in." You tell her you are having a tough time, she gets angry at you for not being able to handle it.

And people wonder WHY men die on average 7 years before women do.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by BLUEox117
women are weak
men are strong


figure it out.

That's a myth, neither one of the sexes have all weak members or all strong members. There are plenty of strong women and weak men to prove this fact if you would take the time to look around you.

 

[StringShredder]

Originally posted by K B
I guess this proves once again that you can't please a woman. You keep things to yourself, she complains that you never "let her in." You tell her you are having a tough time, she gets angry at you for not being able to handle it.

The first option is better. Why? Because you are holding back something she wants: to be let in. Let her complain all she wants. It's good for women to complain. It's their job. If you complain, you're the woman.

Man, I'm starting to sound exactly like my father! Well, what can I say, his material is being confirmed more and more as time passes. I should have started paying closer attention much, much sooner.

"A woman doesn't know what she wants, but she won't stop b1tching until she gets it!" -- My Dad

 

[StringShredder]

Originally posted by rgeere
That's a myth, neither one of the sexes have all weak members or all strong members. There are plenty of strong women and weak men to prove this fact if you would take the time to look around you.

Ah, but women can be scorned for being strong, whereas men will never be pardoned for being weak.

 

[AMF]

This is the difference between a "taker" and a "flexible giver". One is LTR material, the other is not.

Personally, Ive had some great gfs who were more than helpful and supportive, to the nth degree. Either this girl is no good for you, or doesnt actually care about you enough.

Nevertheless, her masculine image of you is threatened if you continually fail to deal with the things life throws at you. You can and should be able to be open about your problems and feelings, however. But do it the right way, i.e:

"Yeah, it sucks, and I feel bad. But thats life. Nothing I cant handle."

Get your problems out if you need to, but ALWAYS try to put a positive, optimistic spin on things.

You'll find this helps YOU, too.

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

I have come to the conclusion that girls don't really give a rat's @ss about our problems.

Maybe they care...they just don't know hwo to respond. It also depends on the age of girls your talking about. If your talking about highschoolers then, "duh." Sounds like to me you wish your girl was a little more caring. Do yourself a favor and go find one that does.

p.s be careful.....you don't want another "mom"

 

[earthshyne]

There's an element here that's been bypassed, which IMHO is important.

Wimmen tend to talk and talk and talk and talk about their problems. It gives them the delusion that they're actually making progress on fixing it. Men, on the other hand, generally go to the issue itself and get it solved, thereby relieving themselves of the problem withouth the incessant and boring yadda-yadda-yadda that substitutes for solving a problem in the minds of wimmen.

Note that I'm not making any value judgements here, it's just an observation.

So, when she's beaking on about her relationships (gawd, I hate that word) and her period and her catty friends at work and so on and so on, you've got a choice:

1. Nod sympathetically while dreaming of football;
2. Offer her advice on how to fix the issue;
3. Ignore her and go back to the big-screen TV;
4. Tell her - politely, of course - to STFU and deal with her issues herself.

Does that make me a hardass? If so, that's ok, I can live with that. I've been working on getting in touch with my inner bastard.

 

[S.S.N. 318]

im da slient type when it come 2 dat.....

ill give out hints and ****....

but as big problems concerns.....im keepin my mouth shut....

point blank....

womens now a day flip the script around, now.....

so I just stay slient....

 

[squirrels]

Always approach everything with an "I will survive" attitude. This isn't for the ladies...this is for YOURSELF.

Even when talking about your problems, you should always discuss them with an attitude of, "sh*t's been bad lately, but I'll have it taken care of eventually. Just be patient." Not, "man, sh*t's been bad lately, I don't know what I'm gonna do or if I'm gonna survive it."

I'm not saying that you're one and not the other. But women tend to support men who can support themselves. Expect her to be supportive like a girlfriend, not like a mother.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16343

Seems kinda misogynistic, but it makes sense and it is in the bible. Quite suprising, there is actually stuff pertaining to seduction in the DJ bible.

 

[Royal Elite]

Complaining is useless and it's a sign of weakness.

Men are suppose to be their as the backbone of the relationship. Think about how many times you seen your father crying and distraught, rarely if even ever. That's his role, to keep everyone spirits up.

There are too many men in this world and if you woman sees you in a weak state often she will fall for some other man who is strong or puts on a real good facade of strength.

If you really need to complain, *****, and whine-that's is why you have male friends.

The same way you wouldnt want to see your woman standing up to physically fight a dude for you she dont want to see you emotionally caveing in all the time.