Do women actually like good men or are my observations legitimate?

[guru1000]

Women say that but when a man says it usually he is talking about men that also treat men well too, not just pander to women with niceness as some mating strategy.

Same applies to men for men. No gender distinction.

Behavior is shaped by necessity.

 

[Mike32ct]

Regarding ulterior motives, being good or bad is almost always done out of selfishness. Being good/kind is done to make people like you and to feel rewarded by giving.

Being bad is done for fun “shock value”, bragging rights, power trips, sadistic pleasure, etc.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Same applies to men for men. No gender distinction.

Behavior is shaped by necessity.

I think thats a little black and white. Some will be more smooth and mannerable, its their personsl style. Others more harsher and ruder to many folks. So you cant say it like that. The thing that kicks the babes drive in and magnetism is that internal animal drive and a feeling that you are recieved well in the world.

 

[guru1000]

I think thats a little black and white. Some will be more smooth and mannerable, its their personsl style. Others more harsher and ruder to many folks. So you cant say it like that. The thing that kicks the babes drive in and magnetism is that internal animal drive and a feeling that you are recieved well in the world.

Doesn't negate but reinforces my point: Both the "smooth and mannerable" guy and the "harsher/ruder" guy found from their perspective that is the most efficient way for them to operate in this world. Which bring us back to the original point: Why is he truly nice?

Now remember, I used the qualifier "some" men. Because they are some men like me who can be nice at times with no motive to receive anything in return, as I get pleasure in giving.

But we are looking a little deeper as to the motivations of why "some" men are nice and why that specific behavior for that specific kind of guy can be construed as a shill/ploy for a deeper inadequacy.

 

[Newbee2]

Women don't like men.. we are just accessories, an ad on disposable object.

Women don't other women too.

One thing men and women have in common, we both don't like women..

Women / cat's only like themselves.. and they go really good together

Doesn't matter if you are hollywood star or what ever.. nice or bad ass.

18-28 bad ass get it..

28-38 rich guys, have vip access

38-48 the beta can pay off the debt and her kids (nice guy are allowed here)

48-58 a nagging complaining old likely divorced 2 times, "rentalcar" with too many miles (nice freshly dirvorced bitter men have chance here too)

58- onwards nagging complaining too old BPD crazy cat woman is partly avalible for any self hating beta who got divorce raped earlier and want's more!!!

There is plenty for disposable nice guys out there, don't worry.. everybody can have their turn

Cheers

 

[marmel75]

So if it’s the woman’s opinion, then why work on the attributes? Why would a man work so hard when the outcome is based on luck?

The man can either;

a) work his butt off, work out, make money, be strong, dress well, be ambitious, and the woman can still tell him to go to hell.
b) relax, take it easy, dress normal, have a normal 9-5 job, meet a woman on the train, crack a few jokes, have her fall in love and marry him.

I’ll take the path of least resistance, option b.

It isnt based on luck. Its based on having social awareness and not having social ineptness.

 

[Mike32ct]

Sometimes the nice guy vs bad boy is a result of abuse that happened while growing up.

The bad boy wants to (unconsciously) seek “revenge” for his past abuse and in some cases could turn into a bully himself.

The “too nice” guy is sometimes a guy that is hell bent on never becoming like his mean abusive dad/mom. So he overcompensates the other way.

 

[Robert28]

Women say that but when a man says it usually he is talking about men that also treat men well too, not just pander to women with niceness as some mating strategy.

Women say that to make themselves feel better about why they picked a bum over a man that had something going for him.

 

[Cckybold]

Nice guys or bad guys doesn't matters as long as women don't treat guys with respect will be next. To me if my gal treat me like sith I will treat her like a *****..

 

[guru1000]

Sometimes the nice guy vs bad boy is a result of abuse that happened while growing up.

The bad boy wants to (unconsciously) seek “revenge” for his past abuse and in some cases could turn into a bully himself.

The “too nice” guy is sometimes a guy that is hell bent on never becoming like his mean abusive dad/mom. So he overcompensates the other way.

Yes motivations are always there. You'll see one commonality though that distinguishes who attracts well and who does not, irrespective of whether bad or good--or "bad" or "good". Authenticity.

That is the guy who does what he does without compensation and operates in accordance with his authentic nature/energy free of necessity or contrivance. And this man can seem bad or good.

The man who operates authentically hides under no rules. He simply plays his hand as he wants to play it, and if she is not down with the program, she gets dismissed. This is actually a very attractive quality to women become so very few men possess this trait. And what's scarce becomes valuable.

 

[LiveYourDream]

The man who operates authentically hides under no rules. He simply plays his hand as he wants to play it, and if she is not down with the program, she gets dismissed. This is actually a very attractive quality to women become so very few men possess this trait. And what's scarce becomes valuable.

I am wondering, about the reverse now. Is the reverse is also true or not as much???
Authenticity is a very attractive quality to men. Few women posses it. What's scarce becomes valuable.

 

[guru1000]

I am wondering, about the reverse now. Is the reverse is also true or not as much???
Authenticity is a very attractive quality to men. Few women posses it. What's scarce becomes valuable.

Problem is most men think with their dlcks, and for women, physical attraction is just but one component.

I have met one girl whom I know for sure (out of close to one thousand) that was truly authentic and highly spiritually developed. And like the azzhole that I am, I dismissed her. But out of all the women, she remains in my mind.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Problem is men think with their dlcks mostly, and for women, physical attraction is just but one component.

I have met one girl whom I know for sure (out of close to one 1000) that was truly authentic and highly spiritually developed. And like the azzhole that I am, I dismissed her.

Did she learn something valuable in the experience? Did you? What do you think she learned? What about you?

 

[zekko]

And I won't bend over backwards for woman.. But I do consider myself a good guy.. I don't feel the need to treat woman like shyte.
However I really don't think this approach has served me well.
Maybe its just the type of woman we have had dealings with so far.

That's certainly possible, especially if those women have a history of dating dirtbags.

But you've talked before about being reserved, aloof, and unaffectionate. I'm guessing your problems lie more in that area. I'm aloof myself, and reading pickup material like SoSuave doesn't really serve guys like us well. PUA stuff emphasizes the takeaway, or the "push" of push/pull. But we actually need to focus more on the giving and the "pull" to achieve the proper balance. If you're not affectionate enough, you're not stirring up their emotions enough, basically.

Women would rather share a high value man than have a loser all to themselves.

It is only when the game is nearly over for them and they approach the wall do they select a provider (draft animal), in near panic mode.

That's what PUA Bro Theory says, but it's not really what I observe. Where I'm from, girls (and especially the hottest girls) tend to get married fairly young. It's the old "The best valued items get taken off the market first". Now whether or not those marriages last is another question, but that's the way things work here, which is a more conservative, suburban/rural area.

 

[soulforge]

You can be a good guy and very masculine. However the women will ask you to do some things for them which the narcissist will never do in a million years. And over time the good guy doing this extra looks "weaker" in her eyes. They figure the narcissist realize he have it like that where he doesnt NEED to do the extra. So i dont particularly like it either. But its what they are doing. Making sure you get sex early and often is a winning strategy. If you help her at times makes sure she helps you too. Also say no to her a good chunk of the times.

I think if you fvck them really good and selfish enough to not get off purpose the "good" guy can win. You have to understand the type of female your dealing with and how she treats the different guys.

This is brilliant... I have also noticed this... If you do much for them, they somehow see this was weakness... As mrgoodstuff said... Refuse to do things for them from time to time..

Problem is, I naturally like to help people out, and try to occasionally do things for a woman... Its a crazy world we live in, if she percives that as Weakness.

The only things I helped my ex with, was generally anything to do with her car, because she was out of her depth, also she had been over charged by a couple of car mechanics.

Or I would health her with anything that was technologically advanced.. She was useless with technology.

I don't really think I did too much for her.

 

[soulforge]

That's certainly possible, especially if those women have a history of dating dirtbags.

But you've talked before about being reserved, aloof, and unaffectionate. I'm guessing your problems lie more in that area. I'm aloof myself, and reading pickup material like SoSuave doesn't really serve guys like us well. PUA stuff emphasizes the takeaway, or the "push" of push/pull. But we actually need to focus more on the giving and the "pull" to achieve the proper balance. If you're not affectionate enough, you're not stirring up their emotions enough, basically.


That's what PUA Bro Theory says, but it's not really what I observe. Where I'm from, girls (and especially the hottest girls) tend to get married fairly young. It's the old "The best valued items get taken off the market first". Now whether or not those marriages last is another question, but that's the way things work here, which is a more conservative, suburban/rural area.

Zekko I totally believe this.

I am not what you would call an affectionate guy.. I don't show too much emotion... I am quite physically affectionate, for example giving her a cuddle or some shyte like that.., or holding her hand when we are out.


But I find it very difficult to verbally express love and affection.

Saying I Love You.. Is something very difficult for me to utter... Or I miss you... can't do it.

Maybe we are not developing strong enough bonds with these chicks, due to our lack of intimacy issues.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Regarding ulterior motives, being good or bad is almost always done out of selfishness. Being good/kind is done to make people like you and to feel rewarded by giving.

Being bad is done for fun “shock value”, bragging rights, power trip, sadistic pleasure, etc.

Some o

This is brilliant... I have also noticed this... If you do much for them, they somehow see this was weakness... As mrgoodstuff said... Refuse to do things for them from time to time..

Problem is, I naturally like to help people out, and try to occasionally do things for a woman... Its a crazy world we live in, if she percives that as Weakness.

The only things I helped my ex with, was generally anything to do with her car, because she was out of her depth, also she had been over charged by a couple of car mechanics.

Or I would health her with anything that was technologically advanced.. She was useless with technology.

I don't really think I did too much for her.

Help her if shes your woman. That means your fvcking and she has your back. Other than that you have to charge people $ for your areas of expertise. The only exception is someone who shares with you.

 

[zekko]

Certainly in areas where there are fewer options they may get married younger, however the data clearly shows the average age of first marriage for women has steadily risen.

I don't think it's so much a matter of options as it is a more old fashioned mindset. There are plenty of options for hooking up, and a lot of people go that route. But where I live, it's like there are two separate groups, the "plate spinners" and the people who are more focused on relationships or family.

I'm aware that the average age of marrying is going up, and it has here too, but not as much as in some parts of the country. In any case, women here are getting married well ahead of the "wall".

As a side note: I wonder how much of this phenomenon of the marriage age going up is because men are more reluctant to marry? As opposed to women just wanting to stay single and bang alphas, as the Manosphere would suggest. I mean, would women be marrying younger if guys were more inclined to? Apart from the general decrease in the appeal of marriage, I'm sure another reason is that more women are getting college educations now than ever before.

 

[Robert28]

This is brilliant... I have also noticed this... If you do much for them, they somehow see this was weakness... As mrgoodstuff said... Refuse to do things for them from time to time..

Problem is, I naturally like to help people out, and try to occasionally do things for a woman... Its a crazy world we live in, if she percives that as Weakness.

The only things I helped my ex with, was generally anything to do with her car, because she was out of her depth, also she had been over charged by a couple of car mechanics.

Or I would health her with anything that was technologically advanced.. She was useless with technology.

I don't really think I did too much for her.

Yep! My ex asked me if I’d help her move out of one house to another across town. What was funny is I was the only guy she knew that had a truck and trailer and I couldn’t think of a reason to say no at the time. Of course I’m sure that just re-affirmed her perceived weakness in me that I was willing to help and haul her heavy ass furniture by myself with the help of a friend. So weak but yet I could move a big ass dresser. I’m so beta.lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yep! My ex asked me if I’d help her move out of one house to another across town. What was funny is I was the only guy she knew that had a truck and trailer and I couldn’t think of a reason to say no at the time. Of course I’m sure that just re-affirmed her perceived weakness in me that I was willing to help and haul her heavy ass furniture by myself with the help of a friend. So weak but yet I could move a big ass dresser. I’m so beta.lol

Now you KNOW dont do that for someone like her! We never go wrong getting the puzzy up front. Ditch babes who arent putting out.