Do I ignore this slightly confusing girl?

[teddy]

So I've been on a couple dates with this chick. Had a pretty good time, she's decently cute. However, I think I have to next to her.

See, the problem is, whenever I text her to meet up, she usually takes 1-2 days to reply. I usually try asking a few days in advanced, because I am an extremely busy person between work and activities outside of work, so I'd like to work her into my schedule. This was fine for the first couple dates... there is no idle chit chat, I'd only contact her when I wanted to meet up, and eventually she would get back to me with days that were good for her and then I'd pick the day that would fit my schedule.

However.....we were supposed to meet up last week again when she canceled on me the morning of the day we were supposed to meet. She gave me an excuse, was extremely apologetic, and offered me to reschedule by saying that she was free the following two days. However, since this was last second, I was obviously busy those following days, and I told her so.

At that point, I pulled back. Normally, I'd next a girl who did this, but right now she is the only plate I'm spinning due to my limited time and she's mutual friends with a coworker, so I didn't want to totally close the door.

She texted me a few days after that on a Friday night, asking if I was free over the weekend. I told her that I was busy (which I was...like I said, it's hard for me to do last-minute scheduling), but then gave her alternate dates.

And of course, a couple days later, no answer.

So I know the answer is to next her. She's probably dating other dudes and I'm low on the priority list obviously. I know she's eventually going to text me though....should I just outright ignore her? Or say something along the lines of "I see you're busy right now. Hit me up when you actually have a free day?" Be semi-confrontational or not? Like I said, complicating matters are the mutual friend and that I am not spinning many plates.

 

[CMNILS87]

Are you sexin her up yet or no? 1-2 dates, 3rd dates kind of a cut off for most guys. Might have been why she asked about the weekend, she could spend the night fri or sat night. You guys are playing text tag. She replies with alternatives but waits a full day to text back. That's odd usually they text back within a few hours if they're interested. Could also be work/busy and she's got you on the back burner.

I'd put her on the backburner for now. Or maybe one of you can switch up your schedules and be flexible

 

[teddy]

Are you sexin her up yet or no? 1-2 dates, 3rd dates kind of a cut off for most guys. Might have been why she asked about the weekend, she could spend the night fri or sat night. You guys are playing text tag. She replies with alternatives but waits a full day to text back. That's odd usually they text back within a few hours if they're interested. Could also be work/busy and she's got you on the back burner.

I'd put her on the backburner for now. Or maybe one of you can switch up your schedules and be flexible

No I'm not. First date was a blind one as we were set up, second date ramped up the kino, but no sex yet. I was pretty much giving myself at most the third date...if I wasn't happening by then, I was gonna eject. But this 1-2 days thing is just odd to me because when she responds it's like "I am free this day, this day, and this day." So not exactly blowing me off, because why even respond then. But honestly, I'm getting fed up with it, especially since this recent one was initiated by her.

 

[oOh Nasty]

I'd say don't respond.

If the mutual co-worker friend says anything about it, just act casual. "Guess we could never agree on a date" with a happy face.

And if you happen to run into her by any chance, don't even mention it. Just be courteous and move on...like the passerby she is.

Even if you don't have any other options at the moment, I'd say stay firm and don't cave in to the flakes.

 

[teddy]

Even if you don't have any other options at the moment, I'd say stay firm and don't cave in to the flakes.

Yeah I'd say I've done a pretty good job so far being non-needy consider my lack of options at the moment. But then I always feel like, when she texts 1-2 days later, well it wouldn't hurt to try since I'm not seeing anyone else. Now it's gotten to the point where I'm getting fed up though. Why even text me trying to make up for the previous flake when you're just not going to respond to my response.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Yeah I'd say I've done a pretty good job so far being non-needy consider my lack of options at the moment. But then I always feel like, when she texts 1-2 days later, well it wouldn't hurt to try since I'm not seeing anyone else. Now it's gotten to the point where I'm getting fed up though. Why even text me trying to make up for the previous flake when you're just not going to respond to my response.

It will hurt if she flakes on you again. I still suggest you go ghost, but if you want to play with her hamster a bit, respond with a generic one word answer to make her think she's got your attention. After that, never respond to anything else she ever says to you again, ever.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Her text game sucks, 1-2 days to respond & a cancellation. Sounds like low interest. Back burner for sure, if she gets spontaneous & you are free then go for it and escalate! Get out and find more prospects. They aren't plates until you hit it.

 

[teddy]

Her text game sucks, 1-2 days to respond & a cancellation. Sounds like low interest.

Yeah, I don't get it. After each date, she immediately texted how much fun she had, etc. Or randomly text me to have a good weekend. Things I'd think a higher-interest girl would do.

It's so weird because usually low interest girls will just leave it alone or say their busy and not try to schedule something. But I'd have to agree with what you're saying here.... a lot of her actions do scream low interest.

 

[teddy]

if you want to play with her hamster a bit, respond with a generic one word answer to make her think she's got your attention.

Hmmmm, like what? "busy"? or "k" if she offers free days, but never elaborate?

 

[oOh Nasty]

Hmmmm, like what? "busy"? or "k" if she offers free days, but never elaborate?

"k" would be my first choice.

 

[teddy]

The more I think about this.... did I mess up? maybe I should have changed my plans around and accomodated her when she offered me alternatives...then again, it was a same day cancellation on her part. I ran this through my admittedly AFC friend (who still gets more poon than me since chases chicks relentlessly, though the quality is below average) and is telling me I should've tried harder. But, god, when the girl consistently takes so many days to respond, what can I do?

 

[Aryan Prince]

If u got nothing to do/happening, txt her 4 a date uv got nothing to loose, dont drop a date just cuz she has, follow up, get ur kino on, if nothing happens.drop her, try and get other plates and move on, she cud be just a time waster and has low interest level in u.... Whatever it is if she doesnt play ball next her!

 

[teddy]

SPIN PLATES

I agree, that's what I should be doing and I'm planning on doing just that. I hope it's not a matter of me not trying hard enough, though, like my friend said it was.

 

[Trump]

So I've been on a couple dates with this chick. Had a pretty good time, she's decently cute. However, I think I have to next to her.

See, the problem is, whenever I text her to meet up, she usually takes 1-2 days to reply. I usually try asking a few days in advanced, because I am an extremely busy person between work and activities outside of work, so I'd like to work her into my schedule. This was fine for the first couple dates... there is no idle chit chat, I'd only contact her when I wanted to meet up, and eventually she would get back to me with days that were good for her and then I'd pick the day that would fit my schedule.

However.....we were supposed to meet up last week again when she canceled on me the morning of the day we were supposed to meet. She gave me an excuse, was extremely apologetic, and offered me to reschedule by saying that she was free the following two days. However, since this was last second, I was obviously busy those following days, and I told her so.

Bro I think you have an ego trip. Sounds like you want her to really want to have sex with you rather than find a common middle ground. You are that busy with work and activities outside of work that you can't meet up with a good looking girl to have sex with her? Come on. Either you are lying to yourself or trying to sabotage the relationship.

At that point, I pulled back. Normally, I'd next a girl who did this, but right now she is the only plate I'm spinning due to my limited time and she's mutual friends with a coworker, so I didn't want to totally close the door. She texted me a few days after that on a Friday night, asking if I was free over the weekend. I told her that I was busy (which I was...like I said, it's hard for me to do last-minute scheduling), but then gave her alternate dates.

And of course, a couple days later, no answer.

So I know the answer is to next her. She's probably dating other dudes and I'm low on the priority list obviously. I know she's eventually going to text me though....should I just outright ignore her? Or say something along the lines of "I see you're busy right now. Hit me up when you actually have a free day?" Be semi-confrontational or not? Like I said, complicating matters are the mutual friend and that I am not spinning many plates.

Sounds like you are more in love with the mutual friend than the girl. You don't say 'I see you are busy now', and you don't say 'hit me up when you have a free day.'

'I see you are busy now.' = 'I want to have sex but I see you are too busy having sex with basketball players.'
'Hit me up when you have a free day' = 'I'm always available at your call. I'm not having sex with anyone.'

Just find a day you are both available. If you are too busy with work, salsa dance, clubs, activities, meeting new people, being the best you can be; as they teach on here and in life; to have sex with a good looking girl, kind of defeats the purpose of living a full and happy and eventful life doesn't it?

 

[teddy]

You are that busy with work and activities outside of work that you can't meet up with a good looking girl to have sex with her? Come on. Either you are lying to yourself or trying to sabotage the relationship.

I know man....it's just strange. When we try to come up with a date, I'll propose a day to her and she'll be like "I'm busy this whole week, but how about this day" and invariably it's a day I'm busy. So I drop it and hit her up the following week, etc.

See, I've only been trying to match her level of investment. From the sense I've gotten from her, she's not really bending/changing plans for me.... so I wasn't doing that for her, since that is the type of thing I used to do (and burned me).

I don't know....a poster above said try hitting her up on Thursday afternoon for Friday drinks. Given she hasn't replied to my last text about asking her when should I bother hitting her up?