Do all girls act like don juanita? wait for the guy to approach?

[john]

don juanita says she smiles, makes eye contact and whatever else at a guy if she likes him, and only 1 out of 3 times the guy will come over and talk to her. i mean how is the guy suppose to even know if she's smiling at him.
DOES SHE NOT HAVE FEET? are all girls this friggin lazy. if this is the case, no wonder im never having conversations with girls. so when i chick smiles or waves or something during class, she expects YOU to talk to her? i thought that girls would make it at least a little bit easier. girls just expect us guys to be mind readers? girls NEVER inititiate conversation with me, therefore that shatters my confidence and i cant even start conversations with them anymore.
i mean even it was just 10% of the time that a girl came over and talked to me, but it's 0%. am i doing something wrong, or are girls just like this?

 

[Shadowlord]

Hehe, you MUST be new here. Of course they're not gonna make it easy. But they're not being lazy. They just want someone with confidence enough to at least talk to them. If you don't even have the confidence to do that then why should she think that you'll have the confidence to ask her out, or speak your mind on her beautiful eyes, or whatever else you might want to do that requires confidence.

Confidence is the key, and in this case girls want a really big.....key. *raises an eyebrow* Yeah, you gotta talk to THEM. Not all girls are modern and initiate the convo themselves. They're somewhat old fashioned and believe that someone should ask them out, et cetra, et cetra, et cetra...

Get my drift? Hope so,
SL

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Three pieces of advice from everyday experiences:
1) Just do it (Nike)
2) Do, or do not, there is no try (Master Yoda)
3) All of the above

 

[john]

so a girl can like a guy and just sit on her ass and do nothing? that's so messed. especially if the guy cant tell for sure that the girl likes him.
i mean sure if i see some hot girl, id expect myself to go talk to her. that's a given. act on my feelings.
but if there's some girl sitting across the room who thinks im hot and expects ME to come over and talk to her without giving any obvious flirtatious signs, i dont think id clue in. id probably think she was smiling at the person behind me.
what does that have to do with confidence? lots of girls make eye contact with me or smile, but i dont go talk to the because that doesnt necessarily mean that they like me. if this was the case id be talking to like 50 girls a day.
guys can be held responsible to talk to girls they find attractive but if a girl wants a guy to come talk to her, she should MAKE it happen.

 

[jester1x]

It is up to you to "MAKE" it happen.
All that women will do is give us signals. You are better off misreading them than ignoring them.
To be a man, you have to act like one. Approaching a woman is what a "MAN" does. Whether you like it or not is irrevelant. That is the way it is and it is not going to change anytime soon. The man has to be the initiator. If your advances are not appreciated, you'll find out soon enough.

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Live in the moment for the future is now.

 

[john]

so the fact that no girls come up and talk to me means nothing? because my thinking is that if no girls come talk to me that must mean that no girls like me. therefore, im a little gun shy because i hear enough stories about guys who come across flirtatious women.

 

[Shadowlord]

Yeah, that's about it. Initiate the convo yourself. They usually won't do it for you.

Luck to ya,
SL

------------------
Three pieces of advice from everyday experiences:
1) Just do it (Nike)
2) Do, or do not, there is no try (Master Yoda)
3) All of the above

 

[shakes]

Hey John, I know how exactly how you feel. I used to think the same way. I used to think girls weren't shy and that they all thought they were beautiful and thought they could have a certain guy if they really wanted to. So,basically in high school and for most of college, I thought: (Gee, if a chick likes me, she will make the move.)However I was shy and had low self-confidence. I couldn't understand,I was an above average looking guy and a nice guy. I didn't understand why I saw alot of toolboxes with hot chicks all the time. Of course, they had the balls to make the moves. Now that I look back, I missed a couple of opportunities. 9 out of ten girls, now matter how attracted they are to you, will probably not make the first move. You have to realize that you are just as intimidating to them as they are to you. I can't figure it out either, and I think it is unfair, but that's just the way it is. All in all, I have gotten alot better and I'm finally understanding: "In order to get the girl, you have to be assertive." DO not make the same mistakes I did. Does everyone agree on this? See you later.

 

[wutang180]

yeap they do. throughout history men have always been the doers and girls have always been the non doers. It's changing a little but not by much. This is how it has been done for centuries and there is nothing that u can do about it.

 

[Adonis]

Nope, some girls do the approaching and initiation. However, often times they are infatuated and has little or no interest in you romantically. I'm saying that from experience..............

 

[Don Juanita]

Originally posted by john:
.....my thinking is that if no girls come talk to me that must mean that no girls like me.....

turn "Girls" into "Guys", and that is exactly what I feel.

I choose to just sit back on some occassions. I don't want to come across like a h0e if I go and talk to a man. He might find me too easy. You know, assume the wrong things........

Juanita

 

[mellow mel]

Originally posted by Don Juanita:

turn "Girls" into "Guys", and that is exactly what I feel.

I choose to just sit back on some occassions. I don't want to come across like a h0e if I go and talk to a man. He might find me too easy. You know, assume the wrong things........

Juanita

Actually John,
I like it when women have this attitude. It really helps your confidence when you approach a female to think to yourself that she is just sitting back waiting on you to come talk to her and that the only reason that she hasn't approached you yet is because she's worried about how that will make her look. She's concerned with what you will think of her, she wants you to talk to her, she's giving you the opportunity to approach her. These are positive things. Don't expect any free handouts in life like girls just falling into your lap. It happens occasionally, but, usually in my experiences, the girls who approach me first turn out to be nutcases later on or the type who want to be in total control of the relationship.


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Mellow

 

[john]

i dont get it though. what is there for a hot girl to be intimidated by. if i was a hot guy i wouldnt be intimidated by any girl. if i was good looking id definitely be an arrogant jerk because im the kind of guy that bases his identity on success. and considering looking good is 50% of being successful with girls, id be pretty ****y considering i already have the other 50% taken care of nicely.

 

[bashful]

i dont knwo where john is now, but i can say. i know how he feels. I know the feeling. Ive gone ALLLLLL through thinking a girl is gonna approach me if she likes me.

but, sorry pals, girls put blaims on guys once again. as they do in everything. by saying, "he didnt attempt to make a fool of himself by trying to approach me. He's not worth the time!!!!"

now keep in mind. females are usually the ones scared to go up to the guy. but were seen as wusses to them if we cant go up to them.

yet chicks complain they have it OOOhhh sooo hard. Awwwwww (the jerry springer crowd) Awwwwwww........bullshyt!!!!!

don jaunita may be gone, she probly is: but i gotta say. the thing about her not going up to the guy as being seen as a hoe is stupid. So, why should i want you if your so self concious?

John is dead on with how i used to feel: its hard to tell if a girl likes you. is she just looking at me through accidental eye contact r does she want me to come talk to her?? Most girls i know just always look away all shook up inside after they make eye contact. so in that case( just like john said) i must have about 40 girls a day checkin me out wanting me to come talk to them.

Its not fair that we have to risk being rejected just for a simple conversation and they dont. What makes them soooo special? these are all the things i used to go through talking to myself about.

then i realized, shoot, it aint so bad being the initiator. the girl is submitting to you. Just the word "submit" when talking about a girl sounds sexual in itself. it sounds so feminie, so attractive to me.

all we guys have to do now is properly pick up on the signs females give. thats hard as hell.

 

[ACTION]

Originally posted by john:
i dont get it though. what is there for a hot girl to be intimidated by...

Because it is a TREMENDOUS BLOW to a woman's ego if she is rejected by a man. Evolution has instilled in us certain traits and characteristics. One of them is that the woman is the reproducer. (For you cretins out there that means gives birth.) Now picture a cavewoman millions of years ago. Her job is to reproduce and if the is rejected by men, then she feels she is not worthy. ("No man wants to reproduce with me, therefore I cannot pass my lineage.") I just think it's fukked up that this has carried over millions of years into the present.

By the way, I live in NYC. Where are all those flirtatious women you're talking about?

 

[krd]

John, you are right. It's absolutely not fair. As a guy, I hate to think of myself as "the hunter", closing in on my target like some sort of animal. As a shy person, I'd feel much more comfortable in the role of "the hunted" or just being able to sit back and let the girls come to me. But as guys, we are stuck with this role, whether or not it feels natural for us to play it. And then women are always wondering why we seem to only be interested in sex. Well, we are forced to act this way, because we know that if we don't take the initiative, she's certainly not going to make any kind of attempt to show her interest. If it were the other way around, and all guys had to do was sit there and look pretty, girls would probably be the exact same way.

Don't try to "get it", there's no use. You can complain and get angry about it all you want, but you're still not going to change the system. So you'd better accept it and just go along with it, because that's the only way you'll have any success. Plus, I have to admit that even though it's hard to approach a girl, it feels pretty good when I am able to get up the courage to go talk to her. It makes me feel like I am in control. And once a girl knows me, in many cases I don't have to go up and approach her anymore. She approaches me.


[This message has been edited by krd (edited 05-25-2001).]

 

[HotRod]

So what do you all think if a lady asks you out? You think she's a hoe? I actually felt pretty good when I recently got asked out by this fine a$$ chick. I think nowadays it is a lot more common than U all think that a woman asks a man out.

Women who approach first and ask you out are definitely the aggressive type. Hey, I think that for you shy guys reading this U should try to find aggressive women to help U boost your confidence. I think it works.



[This message has been edited by HotRod (edited 05-25-2001).]

 

[maranathaman]

On the Paul McCartney interview a couple weeks ago, He said that Him and Linda met in a Pub. They checked each other out from across the room or something, they smiled at each other, then HE walked over to her, and started a convo. That's what most women expect. That's how the ritual/game is played. Sure SOME women will initiate a relationship; But if you aren't confident enough to smile at, then start a convo with a lovely lass, you are gonna have a long, lonely wait my friends!
~Andy

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"You ARE the weakest link...Goodbye!"

[This message has been edited by maranathaman (edited 05-25-2001).]

 

[Albion]

99% of the time in nature it's the males job to impress the female. This is exactly what you are doing, trying to impress her so you can mate with her. So to answer your question, yes.

-al

 

[cyclonus]

Remember guys..the burden of beauty is upon the woman.(much morso than the man) so quit whining..and be a man.

 

[krd]

Originally posted by cyclonus:
Remember guys..the burden of beauty is upon the woman.(much morso than the man) so quit whining..and be a man.

Oh, come on--I wish I had that burden! Just flutter your eyelashes and watch them come running. I'd be great at that--I've got a real pretty face. I always say that if I was a girl I'd be so hot; I'd have no trouble getting noticed by the opposite sex! Unfortunately as a heterosexual male, I'm not likely to impress with my baby face and puny little body (although the other day I got some looks from a couple of 13 year old girls as I was walking down the street. One of them even said "hello"--it made me feel pretty good!)

I think it's perfectly fine to whine once in a while. That's what this forum is for! It's better to let your frustrations out here, where you can remain anonymous. Then you can go out in the world and put on your mask of confidence, and nobody has too know about your insecurities. Plus, you're not a drag for your friends to be around.

I'm willing to cut the ladies a little slack though, it's not all peaches and cream for them either. After all they have their "time of the month" to deal with!