Do all girls act like don juanita? wait for the guy to approach?

[Dj Chase]

"You wanna play?"

to win this game you gotta control the ball..
just like in basketball for example.. a guard can score.. so can a center.. and a forward.. do they all play the same?

Theres a million ways to win with women!

attraction..
Ever see anyone who looked liked they did something stupid just for a attention? (attracting attention [AA]) usually that person is still learning to AA. The ones who have gotten good at it.. you can't even tell that he's trying to AA.. He/She's just interesting.. and you don't realise that he/she's attracting your attention.
You can learn that here..

Pursue..
Its like a hunt.. you spot your prey.. now you move in.. but unlike hunting.. your prey has to acknowledge your pressense.. if you can get close.. you attempt to get an idea of her personality by socializing with her.
you can learn that here..

Attack..
You see you're target. even if she sees you or not.. you are locked on.. the aproach is super friendly (kinda like a customer support "how can i help you?" attitude).. you introduce yourself.. you have no thought about her interest in you.. you are here to impress her with whatever you got.. jokes.. kindness.. coolness?.. !!charm!!
you can learn that here..

a gozillion other ways.. nobody does it the same.. even if we learned from the same ideas.

You want to dunk! score a three pointer! maybe take it to the hole with a drive!

find your style.. and master it, then you come and tell us about it.

oh btw... the answer to your question is no, not all.. but are you here to study the girls, or to be the Don Juan.


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"I should send that Allen guy
a few bucks."

[This message has been edited by Dj Chase (edited 05-26-2001).]

 

[DaneB]

Hey DJ Chase, being a basketball fan and all, I loved your analogy on the dating game...

Chicks complain they have it OOOhhh sooo hard.

I think thats so stupid, almost all the time the dating is based entirely on the woman, with the man just trying to impress. The man has to ask, he has to pay, he has to pick her up, open the door for her, etc. What part of dating, besides sex, is not entirely based upon the feelings of the woman?

Because it is a TREMENDOUS BLOW to a woman's ego if she is rejected by a man.

What about the man's ego? Rejections are just as equally hurtful to men as they are to women. Just because we're supposed to be tough, doesn't mean that we shrug off rejection from a girl we truely care about.

The burden of beauty is upon the woman

How is beauty a burden, if anything its a gift.

So what do you all think if a lady asks you out? You think she's a hoe? I actually felt pretty good when I recently got asked out by this fine a$$ chick. I think nowadays it is a lot more common than U all think that a woman asks a man out.

If a girl were to tell me that she is truely interested in me, I dont think she is a hoe at all. In fact, I appreciate the fact that she was able to summon enough courage to tell me her feelings. Also, it would be a big boost to my self confidence.

[This message has been edited by DaneB (edited 05-27-2001).]

 

[Pook]

Congratulations! You have shed off your nice/wallflower guyness and are seeing what you have not seen: the true interplay between the sexes.

We former Nice Guys have been through it. Muhammed was to have said, "If Muhammed will not go to the mountain, then the mountain will come to me." In same vein of thought, the Nice Guy says, "If I do not go to her, then she will come to me."

Yet, she never comes!

"But she will come one day," you say. There will be girls that will approach you. Fat girls. Sluts. Stupid girls. Desperate girls. In other words, all the girls you don't want.

Yet, you may still say, "Have faith, Pook. She will come." Then what an elusive soulmate she is! She dodged you when you were in high school, evaded you when you were in college, and now is vanished around you as you march into older age.

Somewhere, somehow, a strike of light hits us and we realize that we cannot lose the name of action, that we must initiate else we'll forever endure the pangs of deprised love.

"Why can't SHE come to us?" Well, why does the mountain not come to you? If a mountain came to you, you'd be suspicious to say the least. IT IS NOT NATURAL. THAT is why.

You have transformed from Nice Guy into Bitter Guy. You're aware now of what is going on and feel cheated that you didn't realize it earlier. You also feel angry that YOU must change from your docileness to a more initiativeness form. Some people become so bitter that they swing the opposite pendulum into a player. Others turn into a Good Guy.

"Damn women. Why don't THEY approach?" Bitter Guy says.

And the Good Guy replies, "Because they are the women and you are the Man." And what can you say to that!

For the Bitter Guy imagines women as evil, cruel, and having it easy. The Bitter Guy sees the WOMEN as the enemy.

Women are not the enemy; it is ourselves.

Who are the ones in sports who see fellow players as the enemy? Who are the musicians, artists, and others who see their fellows as the enemy? It is the losers.

And who are the ones that see THEMSELVES as the enemy? It is the winners.

A Don Juan is a path of never ending self-improvement. Direct your attention and energies at improving yourself and watch the world ripple in change around you. Your actions today will echo throughout the rest of your life.

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."

 

[krd]

Originally posted by Pook:
"Why can't SHE come to us?" Well, why does the mountain not come to you? If a mountain came to you, you'd be suspicious to say the least. IT IS NOT NATURAL. THAT is why.

That's one place I don't agree, Pook. If it came naturally for guys, there would be no need for sites like this--every guy would already know how to do it. Yeah, for some guys, approaching women does come naturally, but I'd say for the majority of us, it nearly stretches us to the limit. The reason why guys usually approach the women first, is because, after cenutries of conditioning, it's become what is expected. A mountain is much bigger than a man, it is impossible to get it to move from where it's stood for millions of years. A woman on the other hand is generally smaller than a man, has legs to move around on, and a mouth to let a guy know what she wants. So why doesn't she? Because it's not natural?

Anyway, I agree with you that there's no use sitting around and waiting for them to come to you. As with anything in life, the only sure way to accomplish what you want to do is to take action. You can complain about it all you want, but it won't change anything. I read somewhere that it's useless to keep dwelling on the way things "should be", because you'll always be disappointed. When you start accepting things for the way they are and act accordingly, you have a much better chance of success.


[This message has been edited by krd (edited 05-29-2001).]

 

[CHALENGE GUY]

Behold the power of the WINK.

i mean how is the guy suppose to even know if she's smiling at him.

Wink, evaluate her reaction and take it from there.

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Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

- Roosevelt

 

[krd]

Damn! Thats another thing I've always been meaning to try, but always seem to forget. It's not like it's hardto do, it only takes a fraction of a second. I guess I'm just too busy thinking about other things.

 

[Boodrow]

Originally posted by krd:
That's one place I don't agree, Pook. If it came naturally for guys, there would be no need for sites like this--every guy would already know how to do it.

I'd say that you're bitter.

 

[SoSuave.com]

bump

 

[Charismatic]

I didnt read all the responses but it seems that you guys are frustrated with how it's hard to read the signals that a girl will like you. I dont know, I think everyone that you make eye contact with WILL respond to you in some way, so you can just choose who you want to talk to and go from there. Everyone is friendly deep down inside, and I think if you have enough confidence you could become a friend or boyfriend to almost anyone.

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"...Little holes in parachutes wont leave you falling, but if they do, it's only 'cause you want to land..." -Something Corporate

 

[JJMcLure]

Shakes is right in what he says.

Even the very good looking chicks aren't sure of themselves in the way you probably expect them to be. You expect them to be so sure of themselves that they assume they can have you. Wrong!

They think highly of themselves (and perhaps think "I can attract pretty much most/any guy I want") but it doesn't automatically translate into individual guys. This is where it seems to fall down, they still won't be sure that they could have YOU.

Even the best looking chicks have to be reassured of their attractiveness.

 

[BGMan]

All right youse guys. Listen up.

I've been through all that. But after discovering that waiting for girls to approach you DOES NOT WORK, even if you're popular, I decided that if anything will happen, I'll have to make the move.

Actually, if you think about it, in a sense it's a good thing that guys must do the approaching. Why? Well, you won't have to worry about plain/fat/ugly chicks trying to pick you up, right? If you don't want 'em, then you won't get 'em. Although I'm no longer an AFC (hopefully), I still would find it rather mentally wracking to say to a less-than attractive chick, "I don't find you attractive, so leave me alone." (or, as some would prefer, "I think Rosie O'Donnell is cuter") Conversely, if a girl is cute, you know, "I'll go and get her". And then you're totally in control.

What if a hot girl approaches me? Well, I can say that this hasn't happened, but I'd be suspicious. Is she domineering? A manipulator? Is she "getting back" at someone? And, from a past experience, does she think of me as "just a friend", and will LJBF me if I make any moves?

It's not a curse, it's a gift, so make the most of it! Go get 'em, Tigers!

BGMan

[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 02-11-2002).]

 

[Rebel Leader]

All of you have danced around the edges of this issue, but you haven't struck at the heart of it yet.

You've talked about women being insecure and wanting reassurance, about wanting their man to have courage. I dug around in my psyche a bit and came up with this explanation.

For a bit of background on who I am: I am assertive, and neither insecure nor wanting reassurance of my value. I probably rate a 6 or 7 on a 10 scale for looks.

When I spot a man I'd like to get to know better as a romantic possibility, I send signals like eye contact and smiles. I ATTRACT his attention. If the situation is a tough one for him, for example, if I'm sitting with a male friend, I'll throw in a wink and raise an eyebrow, and maybe make an excuse to walk PAST him on my way to the powder room or to the bar to get another round.

But I don't initiate contact by walking over TO him. He has to make a move by *at least* beckoning me to walk over and talk to him. (I consider this weak unless I'm sitting or standing with a male friend and my target may have reason to think he might get slugged if he approaches me.)

It isn't that I can't initiate. If I'm not interested romantically (say I'm interested professionally or for friends only), I'll walk right up, shake his hand, introduce myself and get down to business. Romance is a different issue, and here's why.

THE PERSON WHO APPROACHES CONTROLS THE TERRITORY. The person who approaches takes ownership of the territory, both his and mine now, too.

Now consider that I'm no shrinking violet. I carry a cell phone in one pocket and a Spyderco knife in the other. "Don't be a victim" is my motto. I very rarely feel intimidated by circumstances or people.

As a woman, though, I weigh in at about two-thirds to one-half the size of my man. It might be hard-wired into my genes or imprinted by the people around me -- all I know is that it simply feels good when a man takes control of territory and acts like he owns it.

Acting territorial is a masculine trait, and I feel reassured when sensing a concrete sign of the masculinity that I like so much.

Did she say, "reassured"?! She said "reassured," folks!

I feel reassured not from strokes to my vanity, but reassured that I can continue to perform the feminine role of opening vulnerabilities to him in an environment that is safe because he controls it.

Thank you for joining me on this trip through the id. Now, back to your regular programming.....

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Live ... Love ... Laugh

[This message has been edited by Rebel Leader (edited 02-10-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Rebel Leader (edited 02-10-2002).]