DJBC for high school guys

[gonnamakeit]

Ok I went out and only saw one prospect and it was actually a good oportunity I was super thirsty and approaching didn't even cross my mind and I got nothing done but I realize the past is the past and forget this because the negativity is a lot worse than missing one or two oportunity because I would miss more and it doesn't help me. and go out one or two more times later to get this done.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Ok I was reading the board and I saw this
Dont set up any goals like 5 numbers or 10 it just doesnt work.Just tell yourself "if theres a cute girl i could approach,im gonna do it."I mean I went to the mall one day telling myself ill get a few numbers and I got NONE.There simply was none.It was a poor day to go aswell.I was crushed that I didnt reach my goal.If I would have just told myself the sentence i just stated,i woulda been much happier after knowing that I couldnt have done much.Besides your their to do your own thing and girls just come along when/if you got time their not your main focus
from 619 joe
I think I will start doing this approach soon because It is true if its like a rainy day (like today was) there might be literally only 5 girls i see the whole day (like today)since the mall is the only place I am garanteed and every single worker has seen me there and I approached basicly all the good looking female ones and some of them remember and I don't want to go literally every day in a row walking around aimlessly with lots of the same people seeing me thinking wtf. But anyway long story short I will keep going out if I can till I get a good number but maybe I will do a goal like every cute girl I see who looks 14-20 (some girls look older than there age and if they are like 25 who cares I'll just move on) I will approach while I am out for say 3 hours or one and a half hours and 2 different locations which should be a real high number so that I still get a lot done but am not beating myself up for something I can't control but when I get a car I can do that by just driving to town after town till I get the goal number. Also if like he said I am thinking about my own thing it'll take the pressure off because with that pressure for the 20 I could get it but it left me completly exhausted today and I would have had better individual ones done if I hadn't thought that. But I will do the goals for the djbc since the numbers are so much lower that there is no way I wouldn't be able to find 20 girls in an entire week when I just saw that can be done in one day.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Had a real long post that got deleted so this may leave out details. I had way to much pressure on myself for approaching girls got real upset everytime I missed one which would make me depressed. I realized the point of this is for me to enjoy myself and have fun meeting girls and enjoy my confidence it took me ahwile and I got back to where I was before I did the 20 approaches which I only completed by threatening myself which made me 10 times more terrified of girls then I was before I did it because of the association. I got over that now and am pround of myself that I got it done and know I have it in me to do it I have been a lot more relaxed and happy and have done a few approaches and convos which I actually enjoyed I working on COC and realized your supposed to take it much slower than I was (some people take 6-12 months for some steps) so I have been doing the meditations which have had a great effect on me and am going to build myself up to completeing step 3 and doing it right. I learned I need more patience and that I have improved 100000x in the past year. I joining more activitys which will force me to be social there will be many more girls than guys and will be able to enjoy talking to them improving my comfort around them and upping my confidence and makeing more freinds. I beleive also doing this will give me a great chance of getting a few dates (have not b4) which I really want to do to enjoy because I kept getting all upset at myself at not having actual positive results (enjoying myself getting dates) and this an easy way to get some results and the increased confidence and happyness I know will help me make approaches easier.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I am going to follow this post http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133226&highlight=coward+part
for ahwile since it is true I have done like 50 approaches this summer every single one I hated I thought when I did the 20 by the end I would love it and I would enjoy it forever and never have a problem again and with each approach I hated it more and more and I found myself falling into the same mindset (thinking I am in a rut tomorrow I do 5 cold approaches of hbs or I shoot myself) I started getting the same ultra nervouse feeling and relized that is just plain stupid and it hasn't helped me at all I going to try and take all pressure off myself because since the first 2 weeks which were great things just started sucking more and more I tried to force myself through just saying keep going and it was just basicly a constent fight and I didn;t see any improvements. But I'll see how this goes then reasses in a few months. Because I just hated this more and more I would keep going out to the same places and see people who I know and they would be like why are you out a lone and I would feel like absolute **** and be embarressed as hell and I keep getting weird looks when I am out. I am just really ****ing frustrated right now do any of you guys have anytips because I have tried just forcing myself till I gain momentum many times and very extreme (20 approach day) and have also tried days off which also seem to make things worse it sucks the activitys I wanted to do were not availible and it put me in a real ****ty mood cuz I was looking so forward to that and I am ****ing so pissed I don't have even ONE number of a freind I can hang out with let alone a girls number. I been having so many ups and downs and I really have been down most of the time the last monthish the only ups I have had have been by forcing myself. What the hell do you guys think I should do if you guys have any better ideas then what I am putting out or doing please tell me reading hasn't helped me at all I just need advice.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I am not posting here anymore and am not going on the computer anymore its true you keep looking for a solution you don't find and I end in the rut looking for something new on computer to put me in a good mood and it never comes.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Nevermind that I just need to keep it in moderation and when I am in a rut go out more. today I went out and got around 20 approaches I had much less nerves than the first time because I didn't really have a goal I didn't count and just took it one at a time but am sure it is close to 20 at least 15. I am going to try and do 5 "approaches" a day to make it a habit they can be anything and I will do just what I feel it could be just getting the time if I am having an off day (this is the attitude I had today and when I have very little pressure I do it and start to build momentum) or going for numbers if I have a hot day. Its pretty awesome that I finally saw some progress again my nerves were like 100x less then they were the first time and I had a few long convos. This ended up happening because I really didn't feel like going out at all but forced myself too and doing something I didn't want to so strongly gave me some confidence back since it made me feel entitled to the girls because I deserve them more for working harder and sufering more to get them. I got tickets to something and was offered a child ticket by an hb this enrages me because i look very young for my age and it is the only thing I can't change. I was super upset for hours. Then after ahwile I was like **** this I am going to have my day and my life ruined by what some ****ing ***** says to me (she was not joking or anything just honestly thought that which made it so much worse I don't mind when it is a joke or a **** test like if they can tell I am older but look young) so I was real pissed and I started doing a few approaches (these were basicly all indirect) and thought I would start my 5 a day thing which I had been thinking may be a good idea for ahwile I got lost and after I had the 5 just kept going. I would like to do some more direct approaches and go for numbers tomorrow but I am not saying I will and am just planning on doing them as easily as possible I realize this is my best attitude for going out and then once I am out not thinking about it at all I can start doing harder things since the pressure doesn't give me AA.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Could only find 4 might go back out to find a quick last one I am focusing on the progress I have made now instead of what I want which is an extremly high level which will take ahwile but I am sure I will get. Because I am basicly doing similar to what I did in the begining of the bootcamp only now asking directions and time and what not of hbs and my nerves are less then they were in the begining of the bootcamp when it was like old smiling ladys and nice old men(these two are easist to talk too) now its like those girls with the pouty look on there face who guys don't approch and they almost always smile at me when I talk even sometimes before I get the first word out. And the first time I thought of doing the bootcamp it was very unoffical and not commited and I had trouble asking for the time from random people (not hbs) I was nervouse and awkward and that was like a few months ago! So my progress has been massive for sure. I also learned it is a lot better to do many at once instead of a few at a time I had small junks of free time today so did one or two at a time and after the second one which was my second time out I started feeling good and getting momentum but ran out of time. If I got 3 in a row or more I just would of kept building more momentum.

 

[gonnamakeit]

How are the rest of you doing it has been ahwile. Also anyone else have any comments or tips or any random thoughts on anything. I just noticed I have been the only one posting since 7/29.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Ok I read the happiness tip and I thought that it was great last night I was doing a meditation I went into trance didn't imagine what I was supposed to but my mind just wondered and I got some good ideas. Also I now keep a pad and pencil near bed to write down ideas I get and will get a smaller one to walk around with.
1. Stop listening to music so much.
I listen to heavy metal and some of the lyrics are very negative I don't listen to the words often so I am just obsorbing sub concouse negativity also it gives you one hell of an adrenalin rush especailly when listening to it loudly (bad for ears also) which leaves you tired and exhausted afterward. Sometimes I listen in the morning get super pumped up about approaches ect. and end up too exhausted to do what I was so excited about because I used up all my energy! I am now going to try and only listen when I lift weights which makes the adrenaline useful.
2. Replace the music with stand up comedy cds.
I am going to try and find as many good stand up comedy cds as I can and replace the music on my ipod with that there really are so many benefits (I am really greatful for the be happy post that gave me a lot of ideas) putting me in a good mood and improving my sense of humor which are very very important things also stress relief from laughing I am going to research which ones seem funny today (I'll probably ask on hear too.
3. On my ipod I am also going to get echart tolles The Power of Now.
I have always herad about it him and was put of by it thinking it was gimicky or if it worked I would end up just sitting on a park bench happy as if I was on drugs while accomplishing nothing (what he did for months) and I didn't want that but I realize now it is true the thinking is just noise and this will be a great skill to have yesterday I was so in my head and kept trying to stop thinking and it just wasn't working but normally I would get really upset I did resist which you should not do but this time instead of going home practicly in tears cuz I would be so upset I just thought w/e I am out of state today I still came out and am learning and improving anyway tomorrow will be better.
4. the happiness post gave me another idea I researched on the internet ways to becomre more happy and a great one I thought was each night before you go to sleep you write down three things that went well that day and three things you are grateful for I realize that is such a great idea instead of me thinking oo no I have a poor relation ship with my family blah blah blah It has me thinking I have a freaking house to sleep in and enough food to eat and so many opportunitys and power to change which very few people have had througout history and many of them could still be happy. i rememer also I think from the blueprint decoded TD talking about how depression and questioning the meaning of life are the most luxuriouse things that you can possibly have if you are starving you couldn't care less someone hands you a can of tuna and some olive (example since sometimes eating healthy gets annoying and many don't even have the opportunity to afford it I was thinnking about) and they would absolutly extatic.
5. I am doing the step one meditations of coc again.
I had not realized that you are supposed to do each meditation twice a day for 7 days minimum and it takes at least a week for it to give you results I only did that one like twice since it didn't seem to resisnate with me this past week I did that with step 2 (2x a day 7 days) and it really helped I stopped getting as much results so will do step one again for ahwile which gave me some good results this morning. After that I will probably do the approaching women meditation in the same format.
6. i am going to do another fast.
Not some crazy one just eating one meal a day for like 3 days since I am going away during that time (leaving soon no one will know me hopefully can get a lot done) not much healthy food will be availible so one big meal a day will make it much much easier. Also for some reason after a few days I get a very good feeling and sometimes you get a lot of energy when you are hungry and haveing that one big meal feels so good since normally I eat every couple hours I never feel hungry feeling hungry then eating feels so good there is a lot more that is hard to explain (search for warrior diet) but it just makes me feel better and enjoy food more every once in ahwile when I am hating not eating sugar and stuff.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Ok had a great day writing the positve things down before bed gets you in the habit of thinking positive so I go to sleep thinking positive dream positive and wake up feeling good which improves my day all with just something that takes like 5 minutes. Hypnotica recomomends makeing fool of urself in public so you are indifferent to what people think and also acting dumb and not caring puts you in state I was stuck in the car for the whole day but at every rest stop I did ballet and the cyclone and skipping around with everyone staring at me lol it really does up confidenc and mood and puts you way into state I got along much better with my family than useual which was awesome the last few days I have been working general confidence and happiness more which is very useful and is helping me alot for now I am having a laid back attitude with girls because down the road I can always start forcing myself again to approach girls and I am starting to like the idea of approaching a lot more again COC step one is having an awesome effect two and after a week of that I will do the approaching women hypnosis and focus on approaches since I will have more core confidence and happiness and less stress and my relationship with family memebers is improving. I did like two so-so approaches today by the way which were just going to get things I didn't need from attractive female cashiers and stuff and greeted a few other hbs. Plus I just had tons of fun today checkng out the hbs it is so funny the different reactions I used to think maybe I should stop but why change thats what I like to do and its about 50/50 as far as positive/negative reaction and this is supposed to be about being yourself (your best confident happy self who is always improving(social anxiety depresssion and shyness are not your self they are problems you need to remove) ) and finding girls who actually like to do the same stuff you do and have a personality that fits with you instead of just trying to change because you are desperate to have a gf and the first hb who gives you the opportunity you are afraid to lose. Tomorrow I think I will post my history and goals in some more detail.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I had another really good day I did 4 approches(could have been 5) and a few short convos was very social today and greeted lots of hbs since I was dropping my sister of at college it was like nice hb who wants someone to talk to city it was awesome also there were the guides or whatever who are sophmores who were mostly hbs and very freindly who I talked to a little bit. My mood is a lot more at my core now the first two weeks when my posts were super positive my family was away and they scream and fight often and have tons of drama so I felt much better with them gone there was tons of drama today and sometimes I had mild stress but normally I would be upset for ahwile it was great today it was like screaming tantrums from all of them in the car for hours me half smiling not being bothered most of the time then stepping out of the care and talking to hbs and smiling and greeting and geeting along with everyone I came into contact with this is a huge breakthrough for me because I used to leave the house feeling negative and that would screw my hole day and also this makes it all for a reason because now drama doesn't bother me and it will make very unreactive. I am also by the way doing subliminal videos and put subliminal messages on my computer to be happier enjoy the day and be more social and enjoy people more and its been helping me also I think. I am also going to do the happiness tip in a few days in addition to what I have been doing.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Another quick update did a real approach this evening it was great just saw a girl while waiting to be seated for resturant and it went like this
strong ec
I walk over she is with her family which most of the girls I have thought of approaching have been and has stopped me
I say hey hows it going and she does a really sweet smile and looks down like they doin chartoons and stuff like super flirty with the blinking she was cute and seemed shy I am sure she liked me and if I had said whats your name she would have answered and it would have went well but I got interupted and was seated as soon as this happened and I wanted to say something else it sounds really short but it was actually a lot of time worth of non-verbal communication I was super happy with it because I want this to be fun and enjoyable and this is the first approach of any kind that I have done without forcing myself in the slightest it was 100% automatic and I loved every second of it that thing I posted that I wanted to do is definetly going great (only if its fun and easy) this for me was even better and more satisfying than if I got a number useing mm or something and feeling crappy because my main goal is to enjoy this regardless of outcome just be able to walk up to any girls and have tons of fun with them and they have fun too not saying I dont still wnat numbers and sex and to show off hb10s but this is what I really like since I am already super obsessively dedicated to other things at being the best in the world at any cost no matter how I feel so I want this to be something I do for enjoyment not for just getting *****(which I will also get). I also did another approach asking for directions from a hb8.5-9 being in this good mood is awesome basicly everyone I talk to smiles and seems so much nicer I used to sometimes feel like this rarely but this is awesome its the only time I have been able to delibritly do that. By the way I am just in the habit now of any question I have I look for the hottest hb I can find who may no the answer and approach right away for the habit (like I need the time directions or where bathroom is) one thing that is super great about the grateful for and positive thing for me is it focuses on the immediate past and the now what I used to do often and still do but in a good way was imagine myself with all of these great things happening to me like everything in my mind movie and everything I wanted being mine and always putting a dead line like ooo next school year I'll have blah blah blah crazily amazing things that should take a long time by the end of the summer blah blah blah once I start the activity everything will be perfect and I imagine it going so amazingly perfect then I would not live up to the expectation that I had set and I wold just think the past is ok because I will get this in the future and the bad past improved that and then when it wasn't quite as good as I thought I would be ultra depressed and super upset thinking about how amazing it felt and like I already lived it and felt it so strongly and had it and I lost it so even if it well I gained nothing since I already felt that I had it . but this is super great because this gives me things in the past and the now to be happy about and they are very good things there is no deadline or expectation I already have it and always will so I have that same good feeling only not as intense which is good because I wouldn't even want to talk because I would just get lost in the dream and it was too high to maintain but with this I feel really good so my baseline mood increased and I don't drop below an average mood lately just a constant confidence and happiness and smiles with occasional bursts like before or going way into state or feeling good because of progress like the approach that went great.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I just read through my post and it is kind of all over the place if you need clarification just ask (if anyone is still reading this lol) like a month with no comments or updates from the other guys.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Ok I got I have been real busy ( got lost last two days like 16 hours of driving) I did like 4 approaches yestarday and wierd lol I see some girl flirting with a guy I look at her a bit and am walking by and and when we walk by each other she just stops and stares at my chest for like 6 seconds I am looking at her face she doesn't even acknowledge and she is leaning in too it was so funny it was as if I had seen a pair of d tits and didn't control myself at all she was hot too btw. I am a little more muscular than average but am small and was wearing a shirt so you couldn't see it so much with it on so I didn't understand it lol. I had some fun that day I had one really good approach opportunity I was gonna do it was on teh line for food but I was holding an empty tray and dropped it the girls (3 set) seemed interested and no one even noticed it at all but after it happened itjust sort of shook my confidence and I couldn't recover my compusure it show s how different intenional makeing a fool of yourself(public ballet and tap dancing lol) is than when you don't expect it. I have definetly made loads of progress and things are going awesome my attitude is totally different and it is cool with so many girls now I get the feeling of haveing a crush on them but without all the bad just when I say something to a girl and get a good reaction I get that same good feeling without the nerves (most of the time once I have approached there are none) and without the feeling like I need them or fantasizing about them or thinking they are better than all other girls or perfect or a a goodess ect. I also just noticed this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=141612 its really good and interesting and pretty similar to mine
He posted this

So the plans I set at the start of this thread i feel need to be updated, adapted and rewritten. From now on this thread will be what it was meant to be- a journal about my changing life, not some 8 week-crash-course-to-getting-laid that i have been approaching it as recently.

My focus is not now to see results after week 8. I will continue to try approaching and talking to women until I am at a stage where i am comfotable doing it for fun and without fear of rejection. There is no set deadline now. In order to to get this sort of stage I must go through 100s of REJECTIONS. So tomorrow is a new day to improve. And no longer will i start putting myself down every evening. I will get where i want be eventually, its just a matter of WHEN. You can't approach everybody.



What he is says is basicly exectally what I realized I was insane I did that dreaming I talked about like thinking in 8 weeks I would be like the worlds biggest pimp and but 6 feet tall 200 pounds with 4% bf and look like I am 20 and be in the olympics lol. I learned patience still gonna push myself but also waht he was saying about beating his self up Like on one specific day you guys know about the pressure but it was just unreal how hard I was on myself I saw a totally busy girl in boarders who was like 25 and the thought just barely crossed my mind to approach since there was no other girls I was already on my way out and noticed as I was leaving I did not approach her and I walked home and ****ing cryed in anger at myself and for the next 2 days was super upset that was ****ing insane the point is to enjoy haveing fun with women makeing them and myself happy. I am much happier with my new attitude and even this attitued will help me soooooooooo much that it is worth all of the work I did this summer which I am sure will pay off with my new social skills when the school year which for once I am super excited about!!!!!11 starts.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I am going to take a week off from updating posting and going on the computerthe idea from the other thread and I think it is a good one. I hope that when I get back I will see some of the other guys updates if they are still around.

 

[gonnamakeit]

i am really ****ing frustrated right now and had a horrible day felt terrible. I have been trying to sleep for the last few hours and cannot fall asleep it sucks I could not go into a trance when doing the hypnosis today got into a negative mood and then started having negative thoughts. And right now I am extremly pissed off at the way I look (extremly young) I have thought for the last 2ish years I would catch up and have not and I am so upset about it.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I still feel bad but much better because I tried a supplement for energy and found out it is common and I had a bad reaction to it which caused the depression I stopped useing it Hopefully it'll pass by tomorrow and I can start working again. I felt better because I know it wasn't anything bad that happened or progress regression which I was afraid off.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Ok I started to feel better. School is starting soon and I need a confidence boost I am going out to a different town tomorrow and I have commited myself to doing 10 approaches legit approaches none of this what time is it where is the bathroom crap. I won't think just walk up to them any girl I am attracted to 14-30 and not think cuz I whatched some foundations today and I am often stopped by haveing nothing in my head to say so I am just going to keep in the back of my head if I have nothing I'll just say HI, I am gonnamakeit. This should be better for you guys to read I will post the actual convos ect.

 

[nicelife]

cool thread bro, but for the love of god can you type in paragraphs.. When i see your big chunk of text it does not encourage me to read it..

Which one of these would you rather read?

Example One

Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum. It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using 'Content here, content here', making it look like readable English. Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for 'lorem ipsum' will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).



Example Two

Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged.

It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.




Keep up the journal, but right now your hurting my face!

 

[gonnamakeit]

Long story short 10 hbs 10 blowouts. One of them with 20ish people watching and laughing at me after it. Feel like **** don't want to ever think about what happened again.