DJ Boot Camp - Week #3

[Master of the Universe]

Alright... we're in our third week now!!!

After completing last week's lesson, you should now be much more comfortable speaking with strangers. This is a powerful skill that will serve you for years to come in many areas of your life. Now, let's take this skill to the next level...


Purpose of this lesson: At this point, we now have learned to maintain eye contact and greet and hold brief conversations with strangers.

Now, for this week, we are going to hold conversations with strangers, but this time the strangers will be women we would consider dating. This is the final step before we go for a number close, and by the time this week is over, we will be even closer to our goals!


Reading Material

How to cut down on your rejection rate by 99% by Jake Steed http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001056.html

Here's a quick and simple strategy for approaching girls. By following this strategy you'll know before approaching a girl if she would be interested in talking with you.

A simple and practical guide to an approach by Adonis http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000490.html

The title says it all... Here's a simple guide for approaching a girl. Even includes an excellent tip for approaching a girl when she's with a group of friends.

Overcoming FEAR is easy when you know how... by Robert Jordan http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000043.html

You see a girl you want to approach... but, what's this? Fear is preventing you from making the next move. Don't let that fear get in your way!

Additional Readings: Go through the reading material from the second week, as they will apply to this lesson.


Music Picks by TheRockStar (Songs to get you into the theme of the lesson).

ZZTop - Tush

ZZTop - Sharp Dressed Man

Roy Orbison - Pretty Woman

Motley Crue - Girls, Girls, Girls

Blink 182 - The Rock Show

Ben Folds Five - Julianne

Bob Seger - Hollywood Nights

Bob Seger - You'll Accomp'ny Me

Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine

AC/DC - TNT

Motley Crue - Same Ol' Situation


Exercises

While last week we went out and spoke with ten strangers, male or female, young or old, this time our weekly exercise is to go and hold a short conversation (2 – 10 minute each in length) with women that you would normally be interested in dating.

Now, this may seem a little daunting for some people. But when you stop and think about it, there really is no difference between a drop-dead gorgeous babe and middle-aged guy, at least when it comes to holding a brief conversation.

To be successful, just keep everything in perspective... humans are humans. Do this and you won't have any more trouble with this lesson than you did with the one from last week.

Also, in addition to the reading material from this week, you might want to refresh on the reading material from last week since they will be just as useful.

After each conversation, write the results in your journal. After completing the assignment, report back to this message thread and share with us one or two of your encounters.

You have until this Sunday, May 12th, to finish this lesson. As well, keep on practicing the skills you learned in the previous two lessons, so that you don't lose them.

And don't forget the 3 second rule discussed in the previous lesson. You'll find that it will be ten time more powerful now, since it will force you to overcome the fear that often develops when you think too much about approaching an attractive girl. Here's a copy-and-paste of the 3 second rule from last week...

"Also, a tip that might help you with this lesson, and the next few lessons, is the 3 second rule (You can find it on ASF). What this means is that when you find someone you might be interested in approaching, don't give yourself more than 3 seconds from the moment you are able, to approach them. Anything longer than 3 seconds highly increases the chance that your nerves will work against you, and that you'll chicken out. Even if you have nothing planned to discuss with them, you'll find that you'll amazingly have something to say if you can only force your feet to propel you to the person."

Okay DJs, let's keep up the momentum. We're getting closer and closer!

Master of the Universe


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"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"

 

[mistyc]

Great stuff.

Hopefully I'll stick to schedule this time and not do the assignment a week late

Well...

As I said in week#2's thread, I'm going to try doing all the 3 weeks' assignments this week, cause I haven't really gone past week#1 yet...

I've become very good at this magnetic eye contact though

A little story from today...

Was walking in a mall. 2 girls coming in my direction, talking. I look one in the eyes, she looks back and shies away but looks again a few seconds later. This time I smile, and bam, she smiles too and then we go past each other.

Now I knew what was going to happen next.. So I continue walking, and like 5 seconds later I look over my shoulder. And yeppers! She was also looking over her shoulder and got caught in the act - she nearly fell on the floor below when she realized she was caught (there was an open area at this place, between the floors)

So I have no problem with the eye contact, nor with the greetings.. But it's starting the conversation that's challenging.

For example. Walk in the bus, closely followed by a redhead (average looking), who seemed to smile at me. Once in the bus, after a while she looks at me a lot (I have a great peripheral vision

) and scans me up and down (and boy, I really now believe the "women look at men's shoes a lot" thing, she spent lots of time looking down) for a while then gives up cause I wasn't talking to her...

Then later, after I get out of a bookstore I just greet a guy, and he starts talking, but I don't really keep up the conversation! Argh. Actually he thought he knew me, but he didn't know from where - and no, we were complete strangers (funny what saying hi to a stranger can do though

) (ok, at this point I was tired and wanted to go home.. but still... I should stop using that as an excuse)

Any more tips, MotU?

 

[Rico Suave]

I'm a little behind on last weeks assignment, due to school priorities mostly, but I've got some more time to focus on the assignments this week. I just need some quick feedback.

Where are most of you guys finding the most success initiating conversations with strangers? Often times I see a lot of strangers in passing by, but they seem preoccupied and unwilling to stop moving on. Are you guys usually approaching women sitting down somewhere or waiting around? any feedback would be appreciated.

------------------
"Hail to the King." Ash (Bruce Campbell) from Army of Darkness

 

[Pentatonic]

Sound cool

 

[Jake Steed]

Originally posted by mistyc:
So I have no problem with the eye contact, nor with the greetings.. But it's starting the conversation that's challenging.

Honestly, mistyc, it's a lot easier than you think. If you've done the eyecontact and smile test, and she does it back, and ESPECIALLY if you wave and she waves back--you can bet 90% she wants a convo with you.

You don't need any silly pickup lines or any of that shyt. If she holds eye contact, smiles big and returns your confident wave, it doesn't matter WHAT you say to her.

All it takes is one simple step beyond what you're already doing. All you have to do is walk up to her and say with a smile, "Hey, what's up?"

That's it. There's no magic involved. If she's interested, she'll lower her walls and open up to you. Convo will come easily. If she doesn't open up to you, you misread her signals in the first place and she aint interested. Just congratulate yourself on approaching a girl and say, "Nice meeting you. See ya!" and leave with a smile.

You're already smiling and holding eye contact, why not follow that up with a simple, "Hey, what's up!"

Jake

 

[mistyc]

Originally posted by Jake Steed:

You're already smiling and holding eye contact, why not follow that up with a simple, "Hey, what's up!"

That's the question... I don't know why I don't do it. I guess I'll have to go out and out and out till it happens. I'm not giving up on this just because it happens to be challenging

 

[Ronin]

This is no sweat. It's gonan be fun though. :0 I'll report back with my findings.

 

[mistyc]

well with all the bumping I figured I'd bump this one before it gets lost

 

[Lost]

i have yet to even get part of week 1 completed, what are some good places, i havent been havin much luck at the mall.

 

[mistyc]

Originally posted by Lost:
i have yet to even get part of week 1 completed, what are some good places, i havent been havin much luck at the mall.

it's not luck.. it's just doing it (yeah listen to myself mistyc, I should use my advice for weeks 2 and 3

)

malls, downtown, etc... Strangers are everywhere waiting to be greeted.

 

[El MonoLoco]

I can vouch for the 3 second rule I used it today.
Coming out of my Biology class I noticed one of the hotties take a quick look at me, then she started walking in front of me.

I made a quick comment on a video we just saw.I just threw it out in the open.Anyone from our class could have said something, a lot of people in the class were around. She stopped and turned around. We talked for about 3 min while I was walking home and she was going to her next class.
I could tell she wanted to talk more but I had to go.
Next time I have that class I'm gonna get her #.

 

[Master of the Universe]

mistyc,

First of all, congratulations on getting the eye contact and greeting down. It actually looks like you got the eye contact down to an amazing level. Great job!

As for initiating conversation, here's the most important piece of advice I can give you... Just Do It!

What I mean is, the INSTANT you find someone you want to approach, force your feet to take you to them, and then smile. Believe me, once you're there, your mouth will find something to say.

The first couple of times you might feel a bit awkward, but just do it. Don't give yourself time to change your mind. GO FOR IT!!!

Come on man, you've come far. Keep at it!

Rico,

Stopping a person while they are walking and starting a conversation with them is possible, but it's more difficult.

It is much easier to talk to someone who is sitting down, waiting, looking around, etc. than it is someone who is walking and intent on their destination.

Jake,

That's excellent advice. Everyone who's having trouble with this exercise, read Jake's response as well as his post in the Reading Material section.

Lost,

Don't worry, just keep persevering. During the first week, you can say hi to any strangers you want, male/female young/old. Any place there are human beings will work for this lesson, since all you have to do is try to look them in the eyes and say hi. Whether or not they look back at you in the eyes or they respond to your greeting is besides the point. Don't concentrate on the results, just concentrate on doing the exercise.

El MonoLoco,

Great job my friend. Keep it up!!!

Master of the Universe


------------------
"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"

 

[mistyc]

had 2 conversations with semi-strangers...

the would-be-hot-if-she-wasn't-overweight new receptionist at the chiropractor (hadn't talked to her before, just a hello), and a friend I hadn't talked to in years...

So that went well.

Still no conversation with complete strangers though.

 

[mistyc]

come on.. no one else is doing this? how about all those dozens who signed up?

 

[Master of the Universe]

Don't let it get to you mistyc. It's without a doubt, their loss.

You and a few others, including myself, are making amazing improvement, and that's all that counts!

By the time we get through all eight weeks, we will be unstoppable!!!

Master of the Universe

P.S. Out of curiosity, whoever is still participating at this point, post a reply to this thread just letting us know if you're still on the program.

------------------
"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"

 

[mistyc]

Originally posted by Master of the Universe:
Don't let it get to you mistyc. It's without a doubt, their loss.

I'm not letting it get to me... just look at your PS

P.S. Out of curiosity, whoever is still participating at this point, post a reply to this thread just letting us know if you're still on the program.

[This message has been edited by mistyc (edited 05-08-2002).]

 

[StuartScott]

I'm still in but I suffered a setback. I had knee surgery from playing basketball and will be on crutches for a while, but I still vhatted up this fine a$$ urse that pushed me in my wheel chair to my ride. I started the conversation with her. I also talked to this chick at this high school 2 days ago. So I'm up to 5 and hopefully when i go to school to take my final exam, I will talk to a few more girls and use my having surgery as good conversation. Peace

p.s. What the hell happened to the other folks that signed up...LOSERS

 

[Lost]

im still in but way behind. anyway do you think it would be better to make eye contact and smile with a girl one day, and then approach her the next? so it wont seem so awkward?(this is in school)

 

[mistyc]

Originally posted by Lost:
im still in but way behind. anyway do you think it would be better to make eye contact and smile with a girl one day, and then approach her the next? so it wont seem so awkward?(this is in school)

I think that if it's garanteed that you'll see her often, this could work. In fact it might make her wonder... And she'll wonder about you - which is what you want, yes?

 

[Lost]

would you also suggest wave my hand too or just eye contact and smile then approach her the next day(friday)