DJ Boot Camp - Week #2

[El MonoLoco]

Dammit I got sick on Wed last week so I didn't go out much. But...

I almost reached my goal I think I made it to about 8 convos.
This weekend made up for it though.Check out my post from Sat morning.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014499.html

Well, I still feel like sh*t but I'll get over it.I guess I'm gonna have to play catch up for a day or so.

 

[Master of the Universe]

Hey Guys,

I'm glad to hear all the wonderful adventures some of you are having

I also completed my minimum requirement of convos. Actually, I probably had about 40-60 conversations with strangers, but that's because I was on a business trip, and pretty much everyone I met there was a stranger

Anyway, my most interesting conversation was with a man I met at the airport. It turns out this guy owns eight companies, has 4,000 employees, owns a mine worth 7 BILLION DOLLARS, and was on his way to meet with the president of an Asian country.

We talked for about an hour, and he shared with me his experiences all over the world with kings and presidents. Even showed me some pics and work he was doing.

There were three things that really caught my attention though.

1) He never flies first class, always coach. According to him, you never know who you will meet when you fly coach. Flying first class is not only a waste of money, but you are separated from any interesting people.

2) He maintained eye contact with me for the entire 1 hour. In fact, it was me who had to drop eye contact once or twice. I don't know if I've ever spoken with someone before who was able to maintain eye contact for such an extended period of time.

3) He and his family have a philosophy. Every year each of them would learn a new skill. This year he's learning to drive a funny car. The ideal would be to enjoy what you learn to the point of mastering it beyond the one year period. But during that one year, he would learn and practice it until he had become very competent.

Also, even though I was in the East Coast on business, I used the opportunity to do some DJing.

I'll be writing an a separate post about it in a day or two when I have a chance. Let's just say that there were two high school reunions in the hotel where I was staying (10th year anniversary, so everyone was 26-28), plus a wedding, plus a swingers party!

And I got to watch guys use several different pickup/seduction styles. I'll be reporting on the different results these guys were getting with their styles, plus all the successes and mistakes I made!

Also, this week's lesson is up and running!

DJs, keep up the excellent work! Just keep on pushing. Don't lose that spark in your eyes!!! We only have six more weeks to go, and we will be true DJs!!!

Master of the Universe


------------------
"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"

 

[WHOYODADDY0069]

Week #2 assignments was not too bad. Had some girls that kept it short at first but as I improved my skills I found myself conversating a bit longer each time. Some acted like snobs at first but I was able to pass that barrier and make them feel comfortable talking to me. If anyone else is having problems conversating, they should really take some of the advice they've read and really put them to use, you'll find that at times, YES you will get short reply's but there's ways to continue the conversation that way you can prolong it and hopefully come out with some phone numbers. One girl I happened to talk to at a club was an 8. At first she was a little edgy to talk to, but as I kept the conversation going things got interesting and she ended up liking me. I left her for a few minutes and continued talking to other girls and then went back to talk to her. She saw me talking to other girls and I could sense a little bit of jelousy, but that just made her even more interested in me. After conversating for a while she actually revealed to me that she has a pierced Pu tang!!!. By the end of the night i got her digits and called her a few days later to hang out and bang! So guys the point is talk to all girls don't be shy and continue to improve your skills even if it takes longer than one week to improve. Before you know it picking up girls to bang or just to be friends will be a whole lot easier.

 

[Centaurion]

this boot camp sounds great guys!!! keep up the good work!

wish i could join, but i'm to busy with other things for the moment. anyway..good luck.

------------------
"What is this Love that so many speak of with such apparent familiarity? Do they truly comprehend how unattainable it is? Are there not as many definitions of Love as there are stars in the universe?"
- The Bene Gesserit Question Book

A BASIC NEWBIE HELP
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http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001645.html

 

[bartender]

bump

 

[KnightErrant]

EDIT:
Update
Week2 Completed!

I might combine weeks 2 & 3 if I can get up a enough nerve don't wanna get left behind

------------------
I don't believe in rejection. I've never been rejected. I've only discovered if a woman has good taste or is open to playing.
If a woman rejects you it only means that the approach you tried, at this particular time, with this particular woman, hasn't worked...yet. _Nothing_ more. - Hal Stebbins.

[This message has been edited by KnightErrant (edited 06-20-2002).]

 

[mistyc]

Alrighty! Tomorrow is monday, I'm going out all day... And I'm still high following my movie theatre fun of Friday night!

10 conversations eh? Doesn't sound like much.. All I need is remember the rush I had when I shouted "SHUT UP OVER THERE" for the whole audience to hear

I've also bought Introducing NLP, so I'll see what changed that will have on me in the following weeks

 

[mistyc]

uh.. yeah...

I'm getting pessimistic about this.

I think I'll coin a new term: AFW - Another Frustrating Week.

gah.

0 conversations with strangers.

gah.

AFW.

 

[Dinkum]

I've finished my week #2 exercises. On Wednesday, I went to a technical workshop down by the beach and initiated conversations with around 10 strangers or so, including about 3 girls. I met a number of cool people and got to know some of the people I work with. Didn't go for any numbers, though.

That night, I was so psyched from all the socializing that I went to a local club. I walked in like I owned the place, and clearly showed that I was having a good time by dancing and smiling. I saw one girl (6) dancing by herself and trying to get her friends (a guy and an 8 girl) to dance and I went up to her. I started dancing a bit, then I made eye contact, smiled, and said, "How come your friends aren't dancing?" I made a little conversation and then gave up since the music was so loud we could hardly hear each other. Then I went back to dancing a bit and wandering around.

Then I saw another chick dancing by herself by the bar. She wasn't that hot and she looked kinda bored, but I decided to try to chat her up anyway for practice. When she walked by me I made eye contact, smiled, and said "Hey, how are you doing?". She stared at me for a second trying to figure out who the hell I was, then she mumbled "how are you doing", shot me a look that said, "get lost", and walked away. Heheh. I just smiled and looked for the first girl again.

I didn't see her, but her 8 friend was sitting down by herself at a table. I confidently sat down next to her and started some conversation using some info I had gotten from her friend. She smiled a lot and even used a bit of kino. She said she was going to work in Beijing. When I told her I was there last month, she gave me a look of surprise and put her hand on my arm. I responded in kind and put my hand on her shoulder for a second. I'm such an idiot though, I didn't even remember her name, and when she said "I love to dance", I should have pulled her out onto the dance floor right then.

There were some pretty good moments, but I need to work on my conversation skills. Anyways her friend came over and dragged us onto the dance floor. I put my arm on her back for a bit but pulled away after a second or two. I touched her a bit on her arms and back while dancing, but I wasn't sure about her response. After dancing a bit they excused themselves to get a drink or something. I kept dancing for a little bit, trying to find other girls. Then it was closing time; the lights came on and the music stopped. I hung around for a bit and went over to talk to her but she was talking with another guy. I waited for him to finish and then she introduced me to him and I said hi and made some small talk. I had just about worked up the nerve to ask for her number when the guy's girlfriend came up to me and introduced herself. While we were talking the other girls left. Oh well.

Anyways I talked a bit to these new people and it was going pretty well; I ended up going to their friend's places and hanging out with them. Too bad there weren't any other girls there, and I didn't want to ask this girl for her number since her boyfriend was right here... heheh. But still, it was a very productive night.

I never could have done this even one week ago; I would have been too chicken to talk to anyone at the club, let alone get invited to someone's house to chill for a few hours!

So in one day, I talked to about 20 strangers including about 6 or 7 girls, and only after one week of boot camp! I'm not sure if I'm ready to start going for numbers yet, though, I think I will practice conversation a little more this week.

[This message has been edited by Dinkum (edited 07-19-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Dinkum (edited 07-19-2002).]

 

[mistyc]

ho yeah. I was sitting in the mall after having missed the 2nd Ottawa DJ Meet.. Some man came to sit down and I said hi, exchanged pleasantries, then both fell into silence

He tried again a few moments later (huh? he tried? I'm the one who's supposed to be trying) and then I realized I couldn't understand what he was saying..

grr.

And now I'm back to square one. gah.

 

[mistyc]

ok, things are starting to go better.

First, I got rid of my negative attitude

Saturday night had one conversation. It's getting easier. I'm pretty sure I'll have 9 other conversations by next Saturday. yay! I can finally get back on track with the boot camp.. Plus there'll be all the excitement when the university year starts.. hmm.. Frosh week.. hmmm..

 

[mistyc]

3 more conversations so far..

In fact, if I add up everything from the last few months I think I've done 10 or more.

I'm tired of week 2, let's get on with week 3

 

[B.Kennedy]

I guess noone else is doing the boot camp right now, but a bump and a question couldn't hurt.

I'm talking alot more now and to alot of different people, but the majority of the conversations I'm having don't seem to last that long. There have been several conversations that have lasted for more than a couple of minutes, but for the most part they're still quite short. Two minutes sometimes seems like an excruciatingly long time. I'll continue to try out the various tactics from the DJB, and improvise where I can.

Has anybody else had similar difficulties, and what helped you get over it?

-Brian

 

[mistyc]

B. Kennedy, the best way is to be _really_ interested in the other person.

Don't ask questions because the DJBible tells you to. Don't ask the questions because SexPDX asks these questions.

Listen to the person, be interested in what (s)he is saying/doing about his/her life, and query about that.

That's how I got my best conversations.

Plus you learn a lot - like how to dress as a chef and get all the girls at a bar...

 

[Nohitme Highmnu]

I will start on the conversations... but most of the people that I said hello to I had a conversation with (because it was mostly at the bar)... so that brings me to my question.

Do Bar/party situations count? Or does it have to be on the street?

So far, I find it more difficult to approach people on the street because they are usually in a hurry to get to point B.

Also, does it count if I integrate the end of week 1 with week 2, and when I am half done week 2 continue on with week 3,while finishing week 2, etc? In other words... can I play a little catchup?

------------------
"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use." - Homer J. Simpson

 

[Ricardo]

I'm up for Week #2 now.

10 convos with strangers on paper sounds easy, but I have to say, I go some days with out initiating a convo with strangers at all.


This will test me for sure.

 

[Ricardo]

Week #2 has been more difficult. I have had only 3 quality conversations with new girls this week. None of them did I try to close with.

Two were girls working but they seemed to take a lot of interest with me and spent more time after I asked them a question (than again it gave them an excuse to stop working for a while).

A third was a girl that sat by me in class. I think her interest level is pretty damn high. It is a huge class and never noticed her before. Unfortunately she has a pretty face but the body is way too big (hell I already gotta a gf that's overweight, don't need another LOL)

I will probably repeat week #2 until I get it right.
It will be good practice. I know I could speak with guys for the number but really don't care to right now!

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

DWK Checking in for WEEK 2

Second week complete!

Originally, I thought the instruction was to have conversations with strangers lasting ten minutes or longer! Woops. Seven of my umpteem trillion conversations actually made it to the ten minute mark. Here are some highlights from my week:

I got a date! - yes, I started flirting with a girl in my science class and that lead to some talking and subsequent macking on my part. Kino'd her some (if anyone isn't familiar with Kino, hit me up and I'll steer you in the right direction) and the two of us went for a game of air hockey as soon as class got out. After an hour together, she gave me her digits, we exchanged names, and I split.

I got a number! - yes, I was leaving a bar and made a statement to the doorman that got this cute girl laughing. I approached her and poked fun at the fact she was laughing at me while she herself was sitting outside of the bar with a textbook in her lap. She informed me that she was a student and liked to come listen to the people at the bar sing karaoke. She was "impressed" with my "professional" performance although I was a "little out of tune" at one part... he he, she done neg hit me. So, our flirting turned into a very interesting one hour conversation and we decided (or at least reached some sort of verbal understanding) to get together next week after our exams. Got the digits and the name.

IMPORTANT: I am not great at keeping a conversation going longer than ten minutes. Keep in mind that only SEVEN of my approaches turned into conversations reaching the ten minute mark... and that was tough! I found that there are three directions you can take a conversation and that ONE in PARTICULAR works well for AT LEAST myself:

1. Interview: Basically, you are asking her a bunch of open-ended questions and stringing them together progressing from fluff to feelings. (i.e. so, where do you go to school? How far is this from your home town? How does it feel being so far from your home town? What does it feel like to have all of your friends around you? So, you feel needed when you are around all of your friends from home, and what does this feeling of being needed do for you?..."

2. Rapid Exchange: This happens when you're talking about something that is of great interest to both of you. It's rapid, back and forth conversation that becomes more and more exciting as it progresses. Even though you're not asking deep questions or really getting to know the person as a whole, you have a great opportunity to demonstrate how fun you are to be around and how you have something in common. (i.e. you like horses? I LOVE horses? Uh huh, uh huh... My stepfather used to breed them and he'd take me to the barn... YOU used to have a horse? No kidding! My best friend's father's nephew is a veteranarian who works... etc.)

3. Introduction: The name is arbitrary but what this really means is that you are telling this girl about yourself and relaying your human experience to her in a way that will capture her interest and have her wanting to engage in conversation even longer. A lot of board-members talk about mystery (the phenomenon and the pick up guru, but we're talking about the phenomenon here)... They say that you should keep the focus of conversation on the girl and NEVER reveal ANYTHING about yourself unless she explicitly asks for it... and then have her tease it out of you. I used to advocate "mystery" in the form of not revealing too much about yourself at once.

I now think this whole mystery concept is bullsh i t.

Put it this way: if you're not telling or demonstrating anything about yourself to this girl other than the fact that you are perhaps a good listener who is interested in what she has to say, then H O W can you create or foster any sort of attraction? I mean, a rapport could grow out of this sort of one-sided interaction (sort of like a therapist and client relationship) but that takes time. Basically, the only other times this "be mysterious" stuff will work is...

1. If she is giving you almost all of your credit on looks alone.
2. If she doesn't personally care to get to know anyone.
3. If she is drunk, doped up, etc.

And man, speaking for myself, that ain't my bag!

So, the opposite of being a mystery is revealing information about yoruself. I call this "Introducing yourself." This doesn't mean you tell your life story. What it implies is that you back away from QUESTIONING the bejesus out of her and M A K E S T A T E M E N T S. Try it, you'll like it.

!!! Say something about yourself that anyone would be interested in and anyone can relate to on some level.

Oh, you're a college student? I am too and it took me forever to find the right major. I looked high and low and I'm so excited to finally have one that suites me and will lead to a lucrative profession. I feel so excited and fulfilled and I'm starting to become involved in department activities...

!!! If you want to find out something about her, don't ask but tell.

I have to commute twenty miles just to get here each morning and last friday during the snow storm it was hell! (her: oh, I ALSO commute from suchandsuch to here and yeah, it was tough driving last friday).

!!! And here's the number one reason to go this route (introduction) over interviewing or having a rapid exchange conversation: Most people you meet will drop whatever it is they're doing and spend a solid hour talking to you if they feel that somehow they connect with you and really have an interest in what you're saying. People get tired of answering questions. The less exciting they find their life and the more they crave excitement, the LESS willing they are to want to talk about their day or their favorite band, etc. They WANT to be motivated and inspired and YOU have it in you to trigger these feelings by describing your OWN life circumstances and events in a way that really draws them in and say, "You know, I know exactly how he feels and I wouldn't mind spending more time with this person."

Gonna end this report

It was a tough week (I was sick, injurred, had to be there for some friends having rough times, and I had multiple exams to prepare for). Still, I got out there and did the work. That is what's gonna make the difference.

Good Luck to anyone working through the Boot Camp. See you when we get to WEEK 3!

DWK

 

[Trial Error]

what are you guys' fave questions to start convo with any stranger?

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by Trial Error
what are you guys' fave questions to start convo with any stranger?

This all depends.

I'm working to be as spontaneous as possible since the more contrived your approach IS the more it will APPEAR.

There are three things I have been going for and that is not to say they're the best, or that they'll work for you, or that I won't change my mind about this in the next week and a half

1. Tell her something about yourself that you know she'll find interesting.

This weekend home means a lot to me. I've been away from here for a long time.

2. Tell her something about HERself that you know she'll find interesting.

I noticed something about you... I can just tell you're the type of girl who will only smile when she feels comfortable being with someone... see, you just smiled.

3. Deliberately neg or say something that makes her laugh and then either tell her something about yourself or herself that is somehow relevant and even more interesting.

I like the way your hair came out. Did you intend for it to be like that? My whole soccer team and I dyed our hair that collor for state finals only mine came out with these really funny streaks.

I really don't like to approach someone with a question unless it's one that gets them to think (for instance, for some reason I can't get into I am making approaches this week that more or less begin with me asking the girl/woman to come up with a compliment for herself). These sort of questions are supposed to get the ball rolling but I have had more success in the past month or so using STATEMENTS to engage my listener. Most of the time, she'll volunteer more information than I could have asked for.

Look up some recent SexPDX posts. He's had a ton to say on the subject and is partly responsible for my change of strategy (the other part comes from personally seeing that it works).

DWK