dismissive avoidamts

[PlatoPacks23]

there's someone im interested in but I feel has dismissive avoidant style

-very career focused
- has said in past has trust issues
- hasn't been int relationship in a while


does someone have advice on how to deal with this type of woman? and ideally not just say "run/don't bother"... im also fyi probably anxious attachment so I dont judge necessarily

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Be the opposite

Not kidding

 

[Solomon]

I try to avoid those women like they plague they tend to not be feminine and also you have to bust your ass to get anywhere
Some of these types also have awkward personality or lack social IQ
They tend to be the "Boss Babes" etc, last time I went on a date with one I was making jokes, and I realized she wasn't laughing with me but at me. They are smart with numbers but dumb when it comes to social interactions

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Recreational use only or you'll be sorry.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Recreational use only or you'll be sorry.

doubt it'll even get to that when she's not into me lol

ill just practice flirting with her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

doubt it'll even get to that when she's not into me lol

ill just practice flirting with her

Even better

 

[Gamisch]

Run/don't bother

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

and ideally not just say "run/don't bother"

Yeah but we say that because broken women are not fixable and even if they were, why would any man want to? Why would you wanna be with a woman who will only cause you headaches and misery?

 

[Clockwerk50]

It works the same as all women. Ask them out. If she does not put any effort into liking you or continuing the relationship then she is just not that into you.

 

[maturin]

You don't waste time with difficult women. Try wearing a clown suit with the long red pointed shoes and attempt entertaining her with juggling. You might get a smile out of her.

The four categories of women:
Better to focus on chick's who fall into these boxes for a more pleasant dating experience. 1) Are into you. Focus energy here. 2) The maybes. Persue here but dont chase. Cut losses quickly. Keep moving to new prospects with a dont give a fk attitude. After a while youll find a few HBs here. Avoid 3) chicks who you think are terrific but aren't into you or are luke warm, difficult, rude, dull, generally kind of suck but are hot. These girls should become invisible once they clarify their position to you. No they're not playing hard to get.
4) Chicks you're not into.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

You don't waste time with difficult women. Try wearing a clown suit with the long red pointed shoes and attempt entertaining her with juggling. You might get a smile out of her.

The four categories of women:
Better to focus on chick's who fall into these boxes for a more pleasant dating experience. 1) Are into you. Focus energy here. 2) The maybes. Persue here but dont chase. Cut losses quickly. Keep moving to new prospects with a dont give a fk attitude. After a while youll find a few HBs here. Avoid 3) chicks who you think are terrific but aren't into you or are luke warm, difficult, rude, dull, generally kind of suck but are hot. These girls should become invisible once they clarify their position to you. No they're not playing hard to get.
4) Chicks you're not into.

yes it's just tricky because the place where I go a lot doesn't have many options of people im into

so I see this girl a few times a week and she falls into the 3rd category sorta

so idk just discussing things since this is just someone I see often

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

She's nothing special. Treat her the way you'd treat a male friend or a chick you are not interested in. Just be cool & "Whatev". If she likes you or wants your attention she will make more effort.

Just be careful because an anxious (you)/avoidant (her) can be a toxic combo. Know the hazards before you take the risk, ya know?

 

[Divorced w 3]

She will chase you, love bomb you, and then run for cover the moment you reciprocate. You have to be very confident, stay non plussed, bang her brains out, and be the one who keeps the right pace. I think there could be good in anyone you just have to be able to tolerate it. If you’re asking for help, it may be a harder climb up this hill for you then maybe others. Try it, don’t be hurt if you get burned. I found this place after falling hard for one of those. I still think about her. I did some nutty stuff.

 

[Glassguy]

There are many women out there who are secure attachment styles. They understand the dynamics of a healthy relationship. I have dated the dismissive avoidants. Fearful avoidants. IMO they are wayyyy worse to deal with than anxious attachments.

If you have a lot of options in the dating world, women that are way off secure attachment styles should be dismissed. Its nothing but trouble. Many of these women are not just heavily guarded, they are damaged beyond repair. They are master manipulators as they know they are broken but will come across as being able to have a healthy relationship. But they cant. A large portion of the women who fall into the dismissive/fearful avoidant attachment have SERIOUS daddy issues (and not the good ones) and many have been sexually abused by someone very close to them. They get stuck in a violent whirlwind of wanting to make it work with someone, then losing all trust and bolting for no apparent reason. Severe fight or flight situations. They would rather go back to abusive people rather than hang on to someone who is worth their time because THEY KNOW what is eventually going to happen.

Tread at your own risk. I think of myself as someone who is good at seducing, leading, being able to read people, etc. and I have been burned by a couple of these avoidant chicks and it stung.

No reason to even use them for recreational use when there are far better options out there. And if you are even remotely a white knight, youre going to get severely burned by them. They have mental illnesses.

Find the secure attachment styles. Much easier to deal with and more enjoyable in the long run.

 

[nismo-4]

A BMW that's out of warranty will always be far easier to fix than a broken woman. It's not only more reliable, but it's also less costly.