Dinner dates are for losers...

[Bokanovsky]

By "dinner dates" is it safe to assume you mean a formal sit-down, wine and dine type dinner date? Because I am a woman and I actually cannot stand those types of dinner dates!

What IS fun are grabbing apps and drinks at a lively bar with a cool vibe, good music and yes where we BOTH contribute. I am so not into all that contrived stuff like going out on "proper" dates and the man "pursuing" the women, etc. I just find that incredibly dull and uninspiring.

"Dinner date" is an outdated ritual that occurs between a man and a woman who have not been intimate, and that involves the woman eating and the man paying. It doesn't really matter if there is music, if the vibe is cool or if you're bored to death, and it certainly doesn't matter whether you are eating apps or the main course or stuffing your face with cake. The problem with this type ritual is that it's open to abuse. An unethical woman who is not really interested in a man romantically would still accept his invitation to eat a restaurant meal for free.

 

[Robert28]

If I have to do a dinner date there’s a cheap Mexican place near my house. The food is good and it’s CHEAP. I can take a girl there and it might be $30. Coffee dates never worked for me, never had success with them. Meeting for drinks is 50/50. What HAS worked us taking them to this restaurant and then to a bar across the street and that’s worked about 90% of the time.

 

[Zimbabwe]

If I have to do a dinner date there’s a cheap Mexican place near my house. The food is good and it’s CHEAP. I can take a girl there and it might be $30. Coffee dates never worked for me, never had success with them. Meeting for drinks is 50/50. What HAS worked us taking them to this restaurant and then to a bar across the street and that’s worked about 90% of the time.

It depends, I have a Cafe Nearby that I absolutely love. It has an excellent vibe,great jazz music and it's one of the few cafes open late. It helps that the staff are always helpful and energetic. I still remember how i randomly stumbled on this place while on a date with a Polish backpacker.

Every first date I have is there or the starbucks downtown. I enjoy my coffee so even if the date isn't going well, it doesn't matter since i would have been there anyways.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Dates are pointless, I’m better off just Netflix and chilling. I’m done trying to appease a princess

 

[BeExcellent]

A dinner date is a big investment to make with someone you just met, not just the money but the time it involves. Personally i reserve it for special occasions with girls i have been dating a while.

This is the mistake a lot of guys make, taking a girl out to an expensive place is stupid. Imagine wasting an entire evening for someone who is not even that interested.

Again it’s about intent and what someone can afford. If a man has enough money and wants to include a companion on his dime? He’s enjoying the time spent moreso than being alone and so there is no harm in that. Comparatively few young men who are not yet financially established can afford this with ease. You are in this group or you would not see this as such a huge investment of time or money. I myself easily spend triple digits on dinner BY MYSELF nevermind how much I spend when treating my man and/or taking my children out to dinner. I do this several times a week. I prefer the upscale venues. I can afford that. So can the people in my social circle and the men I date. If someone becomes too expectant of me covering the check? I simply include that person in my plans far less frequently.

If a man is being taken advantage of by a woman looking for a free meal (let’s be honest this does happen.) Then at the end of the day it’s still on him. Some men are well aware of this dynamic, accept that resources are their currency and that the interaction is inherently transactional at its core, and they don’t care.

I know some men who are this way. They enjoy the woman’s company and understand the dynamic. Typically these are men who might be wealthy but they are physically unappealing or otherwise unattractive. They don’t care. They are participating in the transaction knowingly, as are many of the women.

If dinner dates are boring and a huge expense? Don’t do them. Simple.

 

[rjc149]

If you're taking a first-time date to an expensive restaurant just to impress her, it's a bad idea.

If you invite a woman out for drinks and in the midst of the date you get hungry and want to order food and invite her to join you in dinner, no big deal.

^Here's the answer. I would go further than "no big deal" and say "that's preferable." Sharing food is a human bonding activity that spans the eons of time and society. Eating should be part of a great date, but not the centerpiece.

Nearly all of my successful dates go as such:

meetup bar --> nearby casual restaurant with a nice buzz going --> seduction/closing bar --> someone's apartment or makeout session if logistics don't allow 1st date sex.

Oh yeah, I'm a man of means in my 30's. I pay. If the date's not going well, that's usually clear at the meetup bar and I eject (or she ejects, that happens too, oh well). Worst case scenario, I'm out 2 rounds of drinks ($40). Only Asian and Hispanic women tend to not offer to split a tab or buy a round -- that's just a cultural thing I've noticed, not necessarily the individual. I've taken plenty of them home on 1st dates.

Have I ever bought a woman drinks and a meal, only to never see her again? Yep. That's part of the game. Dating costs money. Some women are losers. That's life.

 

[BadBoy89]

What IS fun are grabbing apps and drinks at a lively bar with a cool vibe, good music and yes where we BOTH contribute. I am so not into all that contrived stuff like going out on "proper" dates and the man "pursuing" the women, etc. I just find that incredibly dull and uninspiring.

I would never do this with a girl I’m not sleeping with.

If a man does this with a girl he is NOT sleeping with, the system and society and tv and music and courts encourage her to keep an eye out for a better, hotter, taller, sexier guy who can serve her better. Why would a guy take a girl he is interested in out to a bar where there is so much competition? Heck, even if I was sleeping with her I wouldn’t do this.

Only if I’ve slept with her 25 times and she is thinking of getting pregnant, or is pregnant, or has a baby by me, THEN I would take her to a bar where there are other guys. Other than that, forget it. Not going help a girl get turned on by other guys.

Im ALL for ONE on ONE dinner dates. She can‘t go anywhere, meet anybody, and generally has to look you in the eye the whole time.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Dates are pointless, I’m better off just Netflix and chilling. I’m done trying to appease a princess

Would you say that females in your age range would prefer this to going out somewhere. Whether it's for drinks, coffee, apps...

 

[Bokanovsky]

Only if I’ve slept with her 25 times and she is thinking of getting pregnant, or is pregnant, or has a baby by me, THEN I would take her to a bar where there are other guys.

Wy would you take your pregnant GF to a bar where there are other guys?? You have some weird fetishes, my friend

 

[SW15]

As a man you should do what you enjoy doing. If you like to cook? Nothing wrong with inviting her to cook with you and bring a bottle of wine (after all you presumably bought the food to cook)…and sure some women might not be cool with that on a first meet…but if there is high interest she might do it. Certainly she might on a second meet assuming she has high interest.

I prefer preparing a meal at home to restaurant meals. Even if a man gets his dates from in-person approaching, getting someone over to a private residence for a first date is not likely. A second date is possible so I agree there.

It’s a socioeconomic thing too. People with less money are going to be less comfortable taking someone new out to an expensive meal. It’s no bother for those who would be going to those high end places anyway.

Any meal in a sit down restaurant at any price point is less likely to lead to sex.

Meals in restaurants could be an option for a well vetted social circle set up. I would still avoid dinner dates in restaurants with them, but more flexible there. It's an absolute no from women sourced from cold approaches or app swiping.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Would you say that females in your age range would prefer this to going out somewhere. Whether it's for drinks, coffee, apps...

TBh I deal with women on OLD whom are beyond repair in the first place.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Do you still order if she refuses to eat?

Yes.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I've often said that too many members here read a pick-up book or two and then attempt to pass these topics off as their own 'advice.' Not a bad ploy (I suppose) but first you need to be sure that the advice is worthy.

Unless you're hooking up with a known easy lay, here's why the dinner date provides a good segue:

You are on neutral territory. Her guard will be down. Unlike clubs or crowd activities, there's no interference. . You are basically in control of the environment and you set the scene. If you're confident and/or have had enough experience with this routine, you would actually want an environment... where her focus is primarily on you. And besides... you're going to eat anyway, so why not have the company.

If she's willing to meet you at your place - without knowing you first, don't kid yourself. You have no prize. She's random and likely views you the same. I'm not knocking it (been there myself) just stating facts.

Pick-up books will claim that a dinner date is boring and unexciting. If you are a boring and unexciting person, then blending in with crowd events isn't really going to save you (unless alcohol is abundant). Social proof is a good thing of course, but unless she's low hanging fruit, you need to warm her up one-to-one beforehand.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've often said that too many members here read a pick-up book or two and then attempt to pass these topics off as their own 'advice.' Not a bad ploy (I suppose) but first you need to be sure that the advice is worthy.

Unless you're hooking up with a known easy lay, here's why the dinner date provides a good segue:

You are on neutral territory. Her guard will be down. Unlike clubs or crowd activities, there's no interference. . You are basically in control of the environment and you set the scene. If you're confident and/or have had enough experience with this routine, you would actually want an environment... where her focus is primarily on you. And besides... you're going to eat anyway, so why not have the company.

If she's willing to meet you at your place - without knowing you first, don't kid yourself. You have no prize. She's random and likely views you the same. I'm not knocking it (been there myself) just stating facts.

Pick-up books will claim that a dinner date is boring and unexciting. If you are a boring and unexciting person, then blending in with crowd events isn't really going to save you (unless alcohol is abundant). Social proof is a good thing of course, but unless she's low hanging fruit, you need to warm her up one-to-one beforehand.

yeah that’s why you keep it exclusively fvcking or meet at Target or something

 

[KirthWGersen]

Different approaches seem to work for different people.

I almost never go on dinner dates before I have had sex with a woman. And certainly not on the first date. And I always pay 50-50. I follow a two-date strategy of meeting briefly on the first date and dinner at mine for the second date. Works a charm for me. I almost always get laid on the second date.

However, I have a close friend who always goes on dinner dates for the first date. He pays for dinner and she pays for the drinks afterwards. He almost always gets laid on the first date.

The overall cost in terms of time is similar. The cost in terms of money is lower for me. He gets more of a thrill out of his approach. My approach is much more relaxed.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I've often said that too many members here read a pick-up book or two and then attempt to pass these topics off as their own 'advice.' Not a bad ploy (I suppose) but first you need to be sure that the advice is worthy.

Doing that just makes you a parrot with no understanding of what you are saying.

Knowledge is not power.
Understanding how to utilize knowledge and deploy it into action for your benefit is power.

 

[Bokanovsky]

If I have to do a dinner date there’s a cheap Mexican place near my house. The food is good and it’s CHEAP. I can take a girl there and it might be $30. Coffee dates never worked for me, never had success with them. Meeting for drinks is 50/50. What HAS worked us taking them to this restaurant and then to a bar across the street and that’s worked about 90% of the time.

I’m not sure that cheap Mexican food is such a good idea If you intend to do some hanky panky later in the night

 

[zinc4]

So I read that somewhere (I cannot remember where), that dinner dates are for losers.
I can agree on that on conventional blue pilled dates where you invite the girl out etc.. That's just meh...
I would never do those blue pilled dates.

But what if/about getting the girl to come to your place and you actually enjoy cooking and hey a man gotta eat anyway, right?
So it doesn't really cost you anything more really since you would have made dinner anyway. Usually you tell the bring to bring something herself along like bottle of something etc. so you she contributes too. If they don't agree, well then; next!

Thoughts?

I only push for 2 kinds of dates: drinks at my place or drinks at a very nearby bar if first option is rejected.

Dinner at your place is a good pitch line i think so. Im just too lazy/apathetic to make dinner for a new girl.

 

[Barrister]

I would never do dinner on a 1st or likely even a second date. Past that point, if I am on a 3rd date (or subsequent) with a chick, I obviously like her well enough that I would consider taking her out for dinner followed by drinks. Not sure how that equates to being a "loser." Given the number of times I have banged a chick after taking her to dinner I guess I will gladly be considered a "loser" if this is the litmus test we are using here now.

 

[Alvafe]

So I read that somewhere (I cannot remember where), that dinner dates are for losers.
I can agree on that on conventional blue pilled dates where you invite the girl out etc.. That's just meh...
I would never do those blue pilled dates.

But what if/about getting the girl to come to your place and you actually enjoy cooking and hey a man gotta eat anyway, right?
So it doesn't really cost you anything more really since you would have made dinner anyway. Usually you tell the bring to bring something herself along like bottle of something etc. so you she contributes too. If they don't agree, well then; next!

Thoughts?

gonna just put the idea I get here and not work on the whole posts

dinner dates are for losers, in essence yes its is, but why it is this idea like this?

in all about intent, dinner is a really bad way to gauge the woman interest and tned to be more expensive then normal, even worse most guys do this as a way to buy interest, if the guys had sex with teh girl and things are somewhere going, dinner dates tend to not be that much for losers, even so if you could do something better.

take note this dinner date is the kind you go out in a place and spend the evenning there, not her inviting you to go to her place to eat, if you are the kind of likes to cook then its something you like and fall on bringing the woman to your world.

all in all when people mention dinner dates is you being a chump and paying her dinner in a expensive place, don't disdain the wisdom of it just because someone say its a dumb blackpill issue (with is not).