Dilemma...she left a message cancelling tonight, but she made a counter...accept?

[Oxide]

Why not call her instead? I would

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Oxide
Why not call her instead? I would

Maybe...maybe tomorrow. I just can't think about this right now.

There's a lot of things I want to do right now about this, but I don't know which are right and which are wrong. I have some thinking to do.

It's unsettling...I should know better than to lose it like this...and it's not her, it's me.

I'll be OK...if I don't hear from her, I'll call her tomorrow.

Right now I just need to be by myself to sort my head out.

 

[Oxide]

...and it's not her, it's me

this really bothers me, stop saying that crap.

 

[bugsquish]

Again I have to agree with Oxide.

Look at it this way, if she doesn't call tonight and you call her tomorrow instead, you're in the weaker position.

If however, you call her tonight before you know if she's gonna call you or not then you can give her the good news about Friday. Tell her you had to call her because something came up tonight and you are just leaving.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Re: Thoughts

Originally posted by NewMan
There are probably others here who can answer this better or give you better insight....

My thoughts....


Call her back, but tell her that you have plans for the weekend, and that your not going to be able to make it - but tell her you'd like to go out with her next week - early in the week.

Remember, your busy. Your a man who is on the move - confident. People want to be around you, your in demand. Don't let her think you have nothing going on, that you can just change your schedule on a whim. Chump's do that because they've nothing better to do. Thats not you. Be confident on the phone, and be decisive. Don't tell her you'll call her back tomorrow and let her know if you can make Friday. Again, your a man in demand, you already know what your doing on the weekend.


You have good advice NewMan...

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by bugsquish
Again I have to agree with Oxide.

Look at it this way, if she doesn't call tonight and you call her tomorrow instead, you're in the weaker position.

If however, you call her tonight before you know if she's gonna call you or not then you can give her the good news about Friday. Tell her you had to call her because something came up tonight and you are just leaving.

It makes sense, but it's 11:30 PM. I can't call now...it's too late.

I'm going to call tomorrow and just tell her the truth...I've had some personal stuff going through my head the past 2-3 days, and tonight I made some decisions I've been putting off for a little while. As a result, I'm free Friday, so if she still wants to go, let's go. Otherwise, we'll wait for next week.

That's all I can do. I knew the right decision was just to accept the counter-offer for Friday...I just let my pride and the garbage I pulled out of the "DJ Bible/Handbook/Whatever" influence my own feelings. I should've just DONE WHAT I WANTED in the first place, but I lost control of my emotions and my reality.

I don't understand why it means that much to me...she's just one girl. It's just that I feel like I screwed myself out of a great opportunity here. I promised myself better than that.

Would I be a fool to call her tomorrow and tell her Friday worked out? Should I just wait for her to call me?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by squirrels
In the meantime, this phone sh*t sucks. I'm tired of even letting someone have the CHANCE to wait 3 days and then cancel at the last minute. Something inside me just wanted to NEXT her after that, but I know that's unreasonable. I just feel like the more I play phone-tag with this girl, the less sexual the whole thing becomes. I can't see how you people can do "Internet dating."

Ohhhhh, this is a women you met through Internet dating....

I have always been a proponent to meeting people off of the Net but there is something important to remember, the great thing about the Net is that it is like a smörgåsbord of home delivery. However, it is even more-so for women!

Guys have to turn up the heat when first establishing contact with on-line women because women are constantly getting approached for dates, some say 10 to 1 compared to men. Women a shrewd shoppers and will hold out for the best offer.

Use your heavy guns while sarging on-line but remember to shoot often. Fire enough and you will be in the situation of always having a fall-back if someone seems flaky. NEXT!

 

[squirrels]

No, I did NOT meet this girl on-line. I met her in a strip club. She was working.

Like I said, I was on top of my "don't-give-a-f--k" attitude that night, and she ate it up.

BUt then over the phone, I lost that attitude because I started to care too much about the outcome of the date (I guess that happens when all your buddies are like, "man, you got a stripper's number! You GOTTA bang that!"). So I dunno.

She never called. She may have had to work late, or she may not be sure right now what to make of me. I'm sure the IL was there, what I'm not sure is how much damage I've done playing "phone-tag" with her over this crap. If I don't hear from her, I'll probably call her around Noon today, with something like:

"I'm glad you cancelled, because I was looking forward to us getting together, but I had some personal sh*t on my mind and probably wouldn't've been much fun anyway. The good news is that I thought I was going to have to work Friday, but I just heard that it got rescheduled, so if you wanna try to do xxxxxxxx Friday evening, give me a call. Otherwise, let me know if you're gonna be free Tuesday or Wednesday next week, cuz we gotta just drop the phone tag and get together. "

Fairly honest, except working Friday, but that was a lie anyway. Direct, and not supplicating, at least *I* don't think so. Probably what I should've done in the first place, if I hadn't been so proud.

Be assured, this WILL be her "last chance," but I don't need to put it to her like that. I need to get back to that level where we weren't trying to hide the sexual tension between us, where it was just fun to be together and there was no pressure on anyone to make anything work. It just DID, because I was the man and she was the woman. THAT'S what got me this one, that's what'll get her back.

 

[iqqi]

yo, squirrels. i don't think you should tell her friday is free. just stick with what you said before, and learn the lesson.

you can still maintain her IL. don't let her see you sweat! that's all. next time you talk to her, give her some GREEEAAAT mindsex! stop acting like the phone is bad. it doesn't have to be like scheduling a job interview. that may be why her IL is faltering? mindsex. that should boost her IL while you wait to see her in person next week.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by iqqi
yo, squirrels. i don't think you should tell her friday is free. just stick with what you said before, and learn the lesson.

you can still maintain her IL. don't let her see you sweat! that's all. next time you talk to her, give her some GREEEAAAT mindsex! stop acting like the phone is bad. it doesn't have to be like scheduling a job interview. that may be why her IL is faltering? mindsex. that should boost her IL while you wait to see her in person next week.

Mindsex, eh? Elaborate.

Never mind, that's worthy of a new thread.

I'm not sweating at all...I was sweating before. I was afraid to give her Friday, even though I had no other plans. Now I can give her Friday, not because I have to, but because I WANT TO. She may have already made other plans, so it could be a moot point, but I want to stop the phone BS one way or another. I'm going to lay down the options, (Friday, or Tues-Wed of next week) and she can take one or leave them all...I'll find something else to do.

Anyway...MINDSEX thread: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=34446

 

[squirrels]

Anyway, in case anyone cares, I called her at lunchtime today...she's got another job interview, blah blah blah, so I told her that work got cancelled Friday, so I'm open, but I need to know something from her soon because some of my friends are getting together and I need to let them know whether or not I'm gonna be there.

She said she'd be able to tell me by this afternoon definitely one way or the other. If it's on, it's on. If it's not, I'll leave it up to her to reschedule. I'm not putting any more effort into this. I'm yielding to her suggestion of Friday...that's about all the leeway I'm willing to give.

I feel a lot better now, date or no date, because I'm back in control of my emotions and back to just being a man and doing what I want to do and having fun with it.

What's more, I learned from it. I learned that pride and self-respect are two very different things. I learned that I can take a step back and pursue a woman a little bit, if that's what I WANT to do, without throwing myself at her/fawning over her and losing my self-respect in the process. I never quite understood that...all these women I've been talking about recently always came after ME. I never understood how a DJ could possibly approach/pursue a woman and still be a challenge.

So now we wait and see where this goes. Whatever happens, I walk away stronger.

 

[Player_Supreme]

all this trouble over a stripper? they are the biggest flakes around. you gotta expect them to cancel cause:
1. they are too tired
2. they got a gig at the last minute
3. they just don't really give a fu*ck

I've dated a few...it's no big deal. They come, they go. they party with their girlfriends, get drunk...ect..ect...but they do look good on ya arm

 

[bugsquish]

Whatever happens dude, if you can get one stripper's number, you can get many!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
all this trouble over a stripper? they are the biggest flakes around. you gotta expect them to cancel cause:
1. they are too tired
2. they got a gig at the last minute
3. they just don't really give a fu*ck

I've dated a few...it's no big deal. They come, they go. they party with their girlfriends, get drunk...ect..ect...but they do look good on ya arm

Technically she's not a stripper any more.

You could tell from the word-go that she didn't belong there...she was only there for a few weeks before she quit. But yeah she probably is a flake.

Either way, she WOULD look good on my arm.