Did You Do Better Than Your Ex??

[soulforge]

I think most of us after a breakup with a hot girl, generally feel we can never do better than her again.. this feeling can linger on, keeping us from moving forward from her...

In your experience, did you generally do better than your ex??

This doesn't necessary have to be purely looks wise..maybe you downgraded a little, but found a much better quality girl who made you happier than your ex..

In my personal experience, i dated a girl for 8 months.. I really felt like she was my dream girl.. good looks, amazing sex.. overall nice girl..

When me and her broke up.. i didn't believe I would be happy with another girl or do better than her looks wise..

But 6 months later.. i met my current ex.. she was better looking, sex wasn't as great, but we had more in common and enjoyed doing fun things together..

Shame she turned out to be a Narcissistic C#NT lol

So what's your experience guys??

 

[lizardking82]

I was thinking it was gonna be impossible to replace the girl that was my ex from 2014 to 2016, but right now I am having sex with a girl that is just as good and probably even better sexually while she's also quite easy going and fun to hang out with. You do better if you go with that intention.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Definitely. Last GF was a Polish banker very hot and very succesful woman. She dumped me and I thought it was gonna be hard to find something comparable.

Nowadays I'm with a German much hotter than her, phd, and much more easy to get along with.

Personally I believe that if you learn what you are supposed to from your interaction with girls you always end up better.

 

[The Duke]

All of my ex-gf's since I divorced my wife several years ago. As far as personality goes, some have better traits, some worse in certain areas. The perfect woman does not exist and no two are the same other than they are all a pain in the azz at times.

There was a time I was pretty clueless with women and had a lot to learn. The more I learned, the better girls I got. Went from 6.5-7's with mediocre jobs, dysfunctional family backgrounds to 8's and 9's with good careers, and good families.

 

[resilient]

Going on 30 days NC. I'll probably post about that since I'm at the half-way mark of 60 tomorrow in the NC thread. In a word, yes.

I've hit the gym daily and have already seen ten pounds of muscle gain from having a low appetite and feeling lethargic to having energy again.

I took up and bought an awesome electric guitar that I play daily while continuing to go to weekly lessons. I've blocked her on all social media, so I have no idea who the guy is that she monkey branched to but I dgaf really.

No plates for me, but I definitely feel mentally healthier and stronger alone.

I now have a peace of mind with clarity, focus, and a vision for the future.

 

[ChangePages]

Yes. After my I broke up with my BPD ex all my hook ups and plates are better 100%

 

[NSX-R]

All of my gfs have been in the same rating scale, looks wise .

I believe that it's stupid to think this kind of things . It's like saying , i lost everything . There are billions of women out there and there are definitely some better and some worse .

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I don't keep track of all of them and I don't really care but more than likely YES.

 

[Lovedog21]

Yes, the majority of women let them self go after a breakup and either become fat or bigger sluts.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Who said I ever had one or needed one to 'do better'?

 

[soulforge]

Definitely. Last GF was a Polish banker very hot and very succesful woman. She dumped me and I thought it was gonna be hard to find something comparable.

Nowadays I'm with a German much hotter than her, phd, and much more easy to get along with.

Personally I believe that if you learn what you are supposed to from your interaction with girls you always end up better.

This gives me hope man.. especially the part of MUCH easier to get along with.. this is crucial..

I can't think of anything worse than just settling for an average chick..

 

[phil2015]

I think most of us after a breakup with a hot girl, generally feel we can never do better than her again..

This is your confidence being tarnished after being gas-lighted, discarded and having all of the blame put on you by your Narc/BPD ex. I know this because I'm in exactly the same position but I'm starting to see the truth for what it is.....

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free" - John 8:32

Look at it this way, you managed to get with your 'hot' ex before you started all of the self-improvement, caused by the break up. Just imagine who you'll be able to attract when you've continued improving. Try to see things from a future perspective when you've completely unleashed your potential. Say 6 months, a year or even 2 years from now.

I was thinking the same thing about 'never being able to get a girl as hot as her again' yet after my first night at the gym last night I encountered women she isn't even on the same scale as. Believe me!!

Also please consider that looks-wise a woman may be a 9 or 10, but from now on if she starts exhibiting any traits of BPD, Narc, lack of respect etc she is instantly going to drop to a 1 or 2 immediately. This whole experience for me has resulted in a complete change of how I view things, rather than thinking with my dik and heart, I'll be thinking with my head from now on

Take heart. Adapt. Its her who's damaged, not you

 

[soulforge]

This is your confidence being tarnished after being gas-lighted, discarded and having all of the blame put on you by your Narc/BPD ex. I know this because I'm in exactly the same position but I'm starting to see the truth for what it is.....

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free" - John 8:32

Look at it this way, you managed to get with your 'hot' ex before you started all of the self-improvement, caused by the break up. Just imagine who you'll be able to attract when you've continued improving. Try to see things from a future perspective when you've completely unleashed your potential. Say 6 months, a year or even 2 years from now.

I was thinking the same thing about 'never being able to get a girl as hot as her again' yet after my first night at the gym last night I encountered women she isn't even on the same scale as. Believe me!!

Also please consider that looks-wise a woman may be a 9 or 10, but from now on if she starts exhibiting any traits of BPD, Narc, lack of respect etc she is instantly going to drop to a 1 or 2 immediately. This whole experience for me has resulted in a complete change of how I view things, rather than thinking with my dik and heart, I'll be thinking with my head from now on

Take heart. Adapt. Its her who's damaged, not you

I agree with you man... but day by day I am feeling stronger..

My only regret is I didn't dump her SOONER.. then i would have caused myself less damage!

But as you said.. its a lesson to learn.. from here on, I will be thinking clearly with my head and not my dik.

Any chitty behaviour will be dealt with immediately!

Also at the age of 42 i reckon i'm in good shape.. where as my ex is 52 years old.

In another 3 years.. she is a 55 year old woman, her looks are seriously on the way out..

But.. she is financially pretty well off.. thats one thing going for her.

I added a recent pic of me!

 

[Desdinova]

All of my ex-gf's since I divorced my wife several years ago.

Yup, I'm in the same boat. They were ALL better looking. Many of them had better personalities too.

If I'm comparing my current GF to my exes, I've had better looking exes. However, none of them have treated me as kingly as my current GF.

Yes, the majority of women let them self go after a breakup and either become fat or bigger sluts.

Women go all fvcked up after they've been alpha-widowed. Because I've seen it so many times, I'm pretty damn sure that a woman was only meant to have one partner.

 

[phil2015]

View attachment 713

Also at the age of 42 i reckon i'm in good shape.. where as my ex is 52 years old.

In another 3 years.. she is a 55 year old woman, her looks are seriously on the way out..

Yeah I can tell, like me, you got fixated on her looks and because at the time you thought she was decent looking you wondered what she was doing with you. I know with mine, I began thinking she was 'out of my league' and 'too hot to handle'. However, when I posted a pic of her on here the other week the guys rated her a 4-5, think a 6 at tops. Its all perspective, I genuinely loved her and thought I had met 'the one' or my 'soulmate' which is why I invested so much feeling and emotion into her, and also my I viewed her as a 10.

I literally let her get away with so much chit, things I would never have tolerated if she was a 5 or 6 and things I would never tolerate from another guy.

I ignored the red flags too, even though they were obvious. One such event being her getting drunk, jumping on and slapping me/hair pulling, and then threatening to cut herself when I asked her to leave. I had to call the police to cover my own back.

As you say though, her looks will fade and will suffer inevitable weight gain at some point, and then she will be on her own, especially if she continues on the behavioural path she is on.

You look in serious shape for 42. Whatever you're doing in the gym keep going as its definately working. If you focus on that enough, eventually you'll reach a point where you realise you don't care about her anymore.

As an aside note - 2 weeks before mine left, we shared valentines day together. Bought her flowers, cooked a meal, gave her a promise ring, love dovey stuff etc - 2 weeks later to the day she walked out on me. This bytch had absolutely ZERO empathy towards me, which makes me believe she had a sociopathicic personality as to how she could discard someone so easily. She didn't reach out to me once, before she changed her number and I'm questioning if she ever loved me at all.


Another thing - She did tell me I was the best lover, in best shape, best looking, and made her feel the most secure/happy/content of everyone she had ever dated. She stated whilst we were together that if we ever split she would literally 'give up' as she couldn't best me. I'm hoping she feels the same way about me, as I do towards her

Question for you Soulforge - What was her history with her exes?

 

[phil2015]

Women go all fvcked up after they've been alpha-widowed.

Can someone explain to me what Alpha Widowed means as I think I may have done this to my ex......

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Yeah I can tell, like me, you got fixated on her looks and because at the time you thought she was decent looking you wondered what she was doing with you. I know with mine, I began thinking she was 'out of my league' and 'too hot to handle'. However, when I posted a pic of her on here the other week the guys rated her a 4-5, think a 6 at tops. Its all perspective, I genuinely loved her and thought I had met 'the one' or my 'soulmate' which is why I invested so much feeling and emotion into her, and also my I viewed her as a 10.

I literally let her get away with so much chit, things I would never have tolerated if she was a 5 or 6 and things I would never tolerate from another guy.

I ignored the red flags too, even though they were obvious. One such event being her getting drunk, jumping on and slapping me/hair pulling, and then threatening to cut herself when I asked her to leave. I had to call the police to cover my own back.

As you say though, her looks will fade and will suffer inevitable weight gain at some point, and then she will be on her own, especially if she continues on the behavioural path she is on.

You look in serious shape for 42. Whatever you're doing in the gym keep going as its definately working. If you focus on that enough, eventually you'll reach a point where you realise you don't care about her anymore.

As an aside note - 2 weeks before mine left, we shared valentines day together. Bought her flowers, cooked a meal, gave her a promise ring, love dovey stuff etc - 2 weeks later to the day she walked out on me. This bytch had absolutely ZERO empathy towards me, which makes me believe she had a sociopathicic personality as to how she could discard someone so easily. She didn't reach out to me once, before she changed her number and I'm questioning if she ever loved me at all.


Another thing - She did tell me I was the best lover, in best shape, best looking, and made her feel the most secure/happy/content of everyone she had ever dated. She stated whilst we were together that if we ever split she would literally 'give up' as she couldn't best me. I'm hoping she feels the same way about me, as I do towards her

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but she threats you that way because this is how you taught her to threat you.

 

[phil2015]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but she threats you that way because this is how you taught her to threat you.

You're right. I taught her this by not kicking her to the curb or going ghost when she pulled crazy chit.

Should have thrown her out then and there when she raised her hand to me

 

[Desdinova]

Can someone explain to me what Alpha Widowed means as I think I may have done this to my ex......

Essentially, you're the one at the top of her High Score List. You're the one she consciously and subconsciously sees as her soul-mate. Then you dumped her and ruined all her dreams. Women will go one of two ways afterwards. They will either party like crazy and hop onto the c0ck carousel, or they'll pretty much abandon dating altogether. Most women will choose the former, and they'll never find that same feeling with another man, and will be destined to experience a string of unsatisfying relationships with men who don't compare. Some will settle for "Mr. Good Enough" so they can procreate, some will just become single moms.

 

[lizardking82]

Essentially, you're the one at the top of her High Score List. You're the one she consciously and subconsciously sees as her soul-mate. Then you dumped her and ruined all her dreams. Women will go one of two ways afterwards. They will either party like crazy and hop onto the c0ck carousel, or they'll pretty much abandon dating altogether. Most women will choose the former, and they'll never find that same feeling with another man, and will be destined to experience a string of unsatisfying relationships with men who don't compare. Some will settle for "Mr. Good Enough" so they can procreate, some will just become single moms.

Does this also apply for cases when she dumped you, but just to crush you because she felt like you were going to dump her first, so she did it herself in an attempt to make it easier for her?