Did she CHEAT on me?

[Spaz]

Well i ask, where in your mind is the line? The line between acquiantence and friend? The line between acceptable conduct for a girlfriend and unacceptable?

For me, as long as they're not spending time alone in private, flirting, getting sexual, giving him special/preferential treatment, etc. Then it's fine and i don't care.

I'd be wary of any friendship between people with nothing in common, and I'd be wary of any girl who's clearly intentionally using the betas who are obsessed with her (says horrible things about her character)

At the same time a girl who can't maintain a platonic relationship with a guy is probably a red flag (either she's boring/annoying and only has a pvssy to keep interest, or she's a huge slvt that bangs every guy she spends time with, or she treats people she doesn't want anything from badly)

Anyone who says they have more then 7 friends is a liar or doesnt understand what friendship means, simply because it's an impossibility.

I repeat; there is no such thing an male-female platonic friendship.

Acquaintance yes, friendship no.

 

[TheProspect]

This has nothing to do with insecurity but a normal set of rules when one enters into an exclusive relationship.

You’re right. But if you need to articulate this to a woman because it doesn’t come as common sense to her then you would be foolish to happily hand over your exclusivity to her.

U lack understanding and most certainly lacking experience with women. That's why you've come up with this notion and this will cause you massive problems within ur own relationship with women.

You’re assumption of me is way off quite frankly.

I’m currently in a relationship with a women who asked me for exclusivity after TWO years of seeing each other on and off and denying her exclusivity back when I was enjoying spinning plates.

It’s been a little over a year into the relationship and I have not had to tell/ask her ONCE to stop communicating with any male “friends” because she knows better. I have never looked through her phone and I have never worried what she might be doing late on a weekend.

If you do exclusivity the right way you avoid 99% of the bullish!t that comes with poor screening and low standards.

 

[Spaz]

You’re right. But if you need to articulate this to a woman because it doesn’t come as common sense to her then you would be foolish to happily hand over your exclusivity to her.



You’re assumption of me is way off quite frankly.

I’m currently in a relationship with a women who asked me for exclusivity after TWO years of seeing each other on and off and denying her exclusivity back when I was enjoying spinning plates.

It’s been a little over a year into the relationship and I have not had to tell/ask her ONCE to stop communicating with any male “friends” because she knows better. I have never looked through her phone and I have never worried what she might be doing late on a weekend.

If you do exclusivity the right way you avoid 99% of the bullish!t that comes with poor screening and low standards.

Ignorance is bliss.

Have fun brother.

 

[TheProspect]

Ignorance is bliss.

Have fun brother.

Are you going to defend your allegation that I am creating massive problems in my relationships?

I’m sincerely open-minded if you’re able to articulate why.

 

[Spaz]

Are you going to defend your allegation that I am creating massive problems in my relationships?

I’m sincerely open-minded if you’re able to articulate why.

U know u will.

U don't need me to explain why, u hv already explained it.

 

[Roober]

So what did you Learn for next time?

Here are some questions to ponder...
1. How many male friends did she have when you met her?
2. How did you become exclusive?
3. Why did you feel the need to check her phone?
4. What were you not providing that this other dude was?

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Would you add a business or practical acquaintance on your phone as "."? Would that be in any way, shape or form practical for a business contact? Of course not. The guy probably has her down on his phone as (.)(.)

Also if they've not got anything shady going on, why the heck would he not just talk to you or her on speakerphone?

The whole situation is obvious that something dodgy is happening, whether it be cheating or not. Best you dumped her.

 

[way2smart]

UPDATE: Today she admitted that she has been f*ucking him since january. Dumped her right away.
Feeling really heartbroken and sh*itty right now.

The worst part is that I have been acting red pill and have been following every DJ rule ever. The other guy though, was chasing her and calling her every single day. He ended up ****ing her.

I asked her why did she cheat , she said that I wasn't giving her enough attention and wasn't beta enough. WTF? Maybe red pill is not the best way after all?

Feeling very very very depressed right now. Feeling like utter s*hit.

 

[devilkingx2]

UPDATE: Today she admitted that she has been ****ing him since january. Dumped her right away.
Feeling really heartbroken and ****ty right now.

The worst part is that I have been acting red pill and have been following every DJ rule ever. The other guy though, was chasing her and calling her every single day. He ended up ****ing her.

I asked her why did cheated , she said that I wasn't giving her enough attention and wasn't beta enough. WTF? Maybe red pill is not the best way after all?

Feeling very very very depressed right now. Feeling like utter ****.

Your girlfriend was a wh0re, one d!ck, one mans attention, etc. Was never going to be enough for her. You didn't do anything wrong, her parents did.

Alternatively, she had stronger feelings for this guy but he wouldn't commit, whereas you did. So she didn't want to leave a relationship to be some guy's toy, but she cared more about fvcking that guy than the relationship.

Take solace in the fact that all of her future relationships will fail and she will be alone unless she changes her ways.

 

[way2smart]

Your girlfriend was a wh0re, one d!ck, one mans attention, etc. Was never going to be enough for her. You didn't do anything wrong, her parents did.

Alternatively, she had stronger feelings for this guy but he wouldn't commit, whereas you did. So she didn't want to leave a relationship to be some guy's toy, but she cared more about fvcking that guy than the relationship.

Take solace in the fact that all of her future relationships will fail and she will be alone unless she changes her ways.

I am feeling very depressed right now. She lost her virginity to me in December, then she started f*ucking him in January.
I am contemplating suicide. Don't see a way out of this. I did everything right, I let her do all the chasing, I let her bring up the exclusivity first, she still cheated?

Really thinking about suicide. Please please guys talk me out of this. I am dead serious.

 

[devilkingx2]

She lost her virginity to me in December, then she started f*ucking him in January.

She was probably the kind of girl that sucked half a dozen ****s before losing her virginity

did everything right, I let her do all the chasing, I let her bring up the exclusivity first, she still cheated?

If you didn't do anything wrong then relax, it ain't your fault lol

 

[TheProspect]

You didn't do anything wrong, her parents did.

I disagree. OP ignored red flags and gave a woman he met in December exclusivity after a month.

Take solace in the fact that all of her future relationships will fail and she will be alone unless she changes her ways.

It's not the girls fault the OP screened poorly, ignored red flags, rushed into a relationship, and accepted exclusivity after not even 2 months of meeting her.

I am feeling very depressed right now. She lost her virginity to me in December, then she started f*ucking him in January.
I am contemplating suicide. Don't see a way out of this. I did everything right, I let her do all the chasing, I let her bring up the exclusivity first, she still cheated?

Really thinking about suicide. Please please guys talk me out of this. I am dead serious.

You didn't do everything right. You knew this girl for only a little over a month. You knew this girl kept male "friends" around. You happily offered your exclusivity and emotions to her on a silver platter. That's not her fault, that's your fault. Obviously she is responsible for cheating, but you are responsible for ignoring red flags and dropping your standards in the first place.

Anybody shifting all the responsibility onto the girl is preventing you from learning. If it's always the girl's fault you'll always have the same problem.

And google a suicide hot line if you're that serious. This a dating forum, you can't just throw the responsibility of whether you take your life or not onto complete strangers because you made a few bad dating decisions.

 

[devilkingx2]

It's not the girls fault the OP screened poorly, ignored red flags, rushed into a relationship, and accepted exclusivity after not even 2 months of meeting her.

Well I'd say it's OP's responsibility to choose wisely, but it's not OP's fault if the girl is a legitimate untrustworthy wackjob

it's my responsibility to lock my door if i don't intend to get robbed, but it's not my fault if i actually got robbed, it's not supposed to be anyones god given right to rob whoever has the door open.

It's good to analyze what you did right and wrong so you can do better next time, but sometimes you really didn't do much and it really is someone else's fault (though 95% of the time you majorly fvcked up somewhere)

 

[TheProspect]

Well I'd say it's OP's responsibility to choose wisely, but it's not OP's fault if the girl is a legitimate untrustworthy wackjob

Yeah but a legitimate untrustworthy whack job in of herself did not make the OP's life hard. His choice in giving exclusivity to a legitimate untrustworthy whack job did.

My emphasis is on the OP's behaviour and decisions. I do not care about the girl and who she is psychologically. I am offering the OP insight into HIS behaviour and decisions for HIS benefit. When you help the OP for HIS benefit, you should focus on what HE did. Not the girl.

Introspection helps people improve their lives, not blame.

 

[TheProspect]

it's my responsibility to lock my door if i don't intend to get robbed, but it's not my fault if i actually got robbed, it's not supposed to be anyones god given right to rob whoever has the door open.

If you know ahead of time that there is a burglar approaching your house but you leave your door unlocked anyway, you’re making a poor decision. If you know ahead of time that a girl is displaying red flags but you give her exclusivity anyway, you’re making a poor decision.

The consequences of your poor decisions are on you. You could technically blame someone else but that doesn’t teach you to lock your door or screen better if you believe neither of those were a problem to begin with.

It's good to analyze what you did right and wrong so you can do better next time, but sometimes you really didn't do much and it really is someone else's fault (though 95% of the time you majorly fvcked up somewhere)

A meteorite didn’t just fall out of the sky and hit the OP… That would be tragic

Instead, he knew where it was going to hit and he skipped and whistled to the impact zone anyway… That is retarded

 

[soulforge]

Op you shouldn't be contemplating suicide over some hoe that you have known for 2-3 months..

Also exclusivity after one month? Thats crazy man! Always screen a chick and let her prove herself minimum 6 months, before you even consider a relationship!

Op throwing your life away over a chick you have known 2-3 months is just LAME man!

 

[way2smart]

Yes, I am feeling better now. Not thinking about suicide anymore.

I am just completely baffled, I have been red pill since 2014. I didn't expect this to happen to me.
She seemed like a good girl, didn't have many guy friends, she was very shy. AND SHE WAS VIRGIN. You can't be a slut if you are a virgin right?

So she lost her virginity to me, then a couple of weeks after she started ****ing this other dude. Completely baffled.

 

[devilkingx2]

She seemed like a good girl

I highly doubt that, i think your screening just isn't very good.

didn't have many guy friends,

Obviously she did otherwise you wouldn't have needed to tell her to drop anyone

AND SHE WAS VIRGIN. You can't be a slut if you are a virgin right?

1. My ex gf was a virgin when i met her and she had sucked off like half a dozen dudes and had a reputation for giving good head

2. My friend took his at the time 16 or 17 year old gf's virginity and then she dumped him for some 25 year old guy in england a little while later and then when that didn't work out she started flirting with me and his other friends (she received a collective "begone thot")

So no, while being a virgin is an indicator that she's chaste rather than slvtty, it's no guarantee

 

[ohrein]

Yes, I am feeling better now. Not thinking about suicide anymore.

I am just completely baffled, I have been red pill since 2014. I didn't expect this to happen to me.
She seemed like a good girl, didn't have many guy friends, she was very shy. AND SHE WAS VIRGIN. You can't be a slut if you are a virgin right?

So she lost her virginity to me, then a couple of weeks after she started ****ing this other dude. Completely baffled.

Glad you're feeling better, bud. Listen, you'll be fine. I've been where you are a few times and you get over it eventually so don't worry. Next time you need to prepare yourself mentally for this happening so it doesn't crush you so badly when it ends. The woman I'm dating now is the best woman I've ever dated, I'm super happy with her. But if I found out today that she was cheating on me and I had to dump her, I'd be fine. I'd be sad, obviously, but I definitely wouldn't be letting it impact my life in a negative way. You need to accept that you never really know someone, even with amazing screen skills. I don't want you to be getting suicidal or turning into a drunk every time some hoe messes with you. Take this break up as just learning about who you were really dating. Take it as you finding out she wasn't good enough for you. You wouldn't be upset if it was a woman you weren't that interested in, so treat her ****ty character as if she was fat and obnoxious, because it's actually even worse. You should be happy you found out now.

As for being baffled and red pill, I don't think you've internalized it. If you were red pill you'd know that this sort of thing happens all the time. Cheating is usually just hypergamy. Some chick runs into a guy who makes her nethers tingle and she can't help herself (screen for impulse control). And I think as others said, that's what you did wrong. I don't think you screened her character correctly because if she so easily and so quickly was doing this then I can't see how the signs couldn't have been there. This is obviously true because you even got a feeling something was off.

You don't want to let yourself fall for a girl if you're not at the 99% sure you can be she's not garbage. That takes months and months. Maybe years.

Unlike other guys, I don't think being a virgin is at all a good signal of integrity. For most people, staying a virgin is inspired by the fear of God and parents. It's not often a decision made by a woman herself, so is it good character? She could also have been lying which seems to be part of her repertoire. You want a woman with as low a lay count as possible because it lowers the chance of her being an alpha widow and high lay counts are a red flag for personality disorders in my opinion. But if you're screening for character based on her actions and words, then you don't need to worry about whether she's a virgin or has a high lay count, you're going off how she is now.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I am feeling very depressed right now. She lost her virginity to me in December, then she started f*ucking him in January.
I am contemplating suicide. Don't see a way out of this. I did everything right, I let her do all the chasing, I let her bring up the exclusivity first, she still cheated?

Really thinking about suicide. Please please guys talk me out of this. I am dead serious.

It's hard when you're confronted with this kind of thing for the first time. I've been where you are at. It's a very difficult thing to deal with.

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now but you've got to get to a point in your life where you realize that ALL of your strength as a man (happiness, contentment, satisfaction, self worth and sense of accomplishment), must come from you, it must come from inside. Relying on the external in order to feel good about yourself is a direct, one way ticket to misery. That doesn't mean you can't feel good about the things you get in life - just realize that they can all be gone at the drop of a hat. That's the first piece.

The second thing is that our society has conditioned men into believing that women, in the romantic sense, are capable of loving us unconditionally. The fact of the matter is that this is simply not true. They are literally incapable of it. Your Mother might be the exception.

Break down what happened to you logically: It's not as if this guy was f*cking her and you weren't. You were both f*cking her. So it's not like he's better than you in that sense. He's not. If anything, he should feel like a fool, too. That's the reality of the situation. You were both getting played. That's not even including the third guy who she was probably talking to as well. Do you see my point? This woman is not WORTH your time.

The difference between you and the "." guy is that he saw this girl for what she was worth: a lay. Nothing more. Your expectations of her, i.e. that she cared about you and really loved you were wrong. I'll bet this other guy understands that she doesn't really care about him either. Really think about that for a minute. Your ego is what has taken the true hit here.

What I'm trying to tell you is that these are the types of experiences that make you realize that you can't place women into a position in your life where they complete you. There are TONS of men who aren't happy unless they have a woman who is providing him with the illusion that she unconditionally loves him. I'll repeat myself, they. CAN'T. It's impossible. I know this is hard to accept for you right now, but a healthy way to understand things is to realize that you are more of a resource for a woman than you are anything else. That doesn't mean that you can't have an amazing and fulfilling relationship with a woman, but understand that it's because you are a resource to her.

Now, for the last thing. You mentioned how you couldn't believe that she cheated even though you acted alpha and did everything right. Guess what? That is no guarantee that a woman won't cheat on you. Ever heard the song "b*tches ain't sh*t" by Dr. Dre? It doesn't matter how "alpha" you are. What matters is the character of the woman you're dealing with. I'm convinced, based on my own personal experience, those of friends and stories I've read about other guys online and here on SS, that the only thing that will prevent a woman from cheating on you is her own views and feelings on the matter. Does she take responsibility for her actions? Does she value commitment and integrity? Does she not put herself into a position where she might be tempted to cheat? Does she come from a family where her mother and father have been faithful to each other? Does her mother respect and admire her father? Has her father been a reliable, strong figure in her life? This list goes on. And guess what? It is still no guarantee. A-lot of this has to do with the current social climate as well. Women aren't taught how to value a man. Women, for the most part, aren't even taught that they need a man or that they should value a man. My point is, you're beating yourself up over something that isn't/wasn't in your control to begin with. It's not that you weren't good enough. That has little to do with it.

Now as far as suicide is concerned. That's a serious thing and I will admit I've been that low before. Send me a PM if you want to talk. I'm happy to hop on a call with you and talk through some of this sh*t. I'm not saying that I've got all the answers but I'm more than happy to help in any way that I can as, again, this situation is a very tough one to deal with. Just know though that there is light at the end of this tunnel. It's not all doom and gloom. You're paying your dues right now, something all successful men must do on their path to maturation, success and a meaningful existence.

Stay strong man.