Did she CHEAT on me?

[way2smart]

So, I have been seeing this girl since december. Became exclusive in Feb.
Before we got exclusive i told her that she needs to drop all her male friends and exes.

Then yesterday I checked her phone. Don't ask me why, I just had a feeling.

So I find out this contact who called her and she named him as a dot "." in the contact list.
Obviously naming someone as a "." symbol in contacts is suspicious in itself.

Then I ask her who it is, which then puts her in panic mode. First she told me he is her lawyer who she hired for her inheritance case. Then she tells me that he is a collector and wants to get the payment for her overdue gas bill.

So right from her phone I called the guy, and I ask the guy if he knows my girlfriend. He says no he doesn't know her and that I dialed the wrong number. She then swears that she is telling the truth and I ask her to call him again and talk to him about the overdue bill. I call him on the speaker phone, as soon as my girlfriend says hello, he hungs up. Obviously very very suspicious.

So I dump the girl immediately and I threw her phone against the wall and broke it. After I dumped her I left for my place.

She calls me 4 times and sends me different texts that she only loves me and blah blah blah. She even came to my house begging me not to dump her, then I asked her if she can at least tell me the truth. Again she kept insisting that he is a collector.

Does it sound like she is lying?

Why would the guy deny knowing my girlfriend if he called her multiple times and spoke to her?

If he really was a collector why wouldn't she just talk to him on the speaker phone and put my mind at ease?

 

[way2smart]

bump

 

[El Payaso]

Stop looking for assurance that she isn't cheating and start being rational.

She's clearly suspicious about the whole which means she either cheated or was about to.

 

[devilkingx2]

Before we got exclusive i told her that she needs to drop all her male friends and exes.

All of them with no exceptions?

If every guy she knows is someone she can't be trusted to be loyal around, she shouldn't be someone you're in a relationship with

On the other hand, if she has legitimately platonic friends, unreasonable requests like dropping close friends for no reason is going to push a girl to resent you.

So I find out this contact who called her and she named him as a dot "." in the contact list.
Obviously naming someone as a "." symbol in contacts is suspicious in itself.

Then I ask her who it is, which then puts her in panic mode. First she told me he is her lawyer who she hired for her inheritance case. Then she tells me that he is a collector and wants to get the payment for her overdue gas bill.

So right from her phone I called the guy, and I ask the guy if he knows my girlfriend. He says no he doesn't know her and that I dialed the wrong number. She then swears that she is telling the truth and I ask her to call him again and talk to him about the overdue bill. I call him on the speaker phone, as soon as my girlfriend says hello, he hungs up. Obviously very very suspicious.

So I dump the girl immediately and I threw her phone against the wall and broke it. After I dumped her I left for my place.

She calls me 4 times and sends me different texts that she only loves me and blah blah blah. She even came to my house begging me not to dump her, then I asked her if she can at least tell me the truth. Again she kept insisting that he is a collector.

Does it sound like she is lying?

Why would the guy deny knowing my girlfriend if he called her multiple times and spoke to her?

If he really was a collector why wouldn't she just talk to him on the speaker phone and put my mind at ease?

So the thing here is that it's not that you were right, it's that i was right that if you don't think she can associate with men non-sexually and yet she has a bunch of male associates, you shouldn't be in a relationship

Lets look at the facts here:

1. His name being dot means that his identity is a hidden secret

2. Her panicing means that the secret is supposed to be from you, whether or not it's from others too

3. Her changing her story whilst giving two unreliable stories (nobody would have a bill collector in their contacts, nobody would save their lawyer or any other important professional business contact under dot.) Is a clear and undeniable indication that she's lying through her teeth, not very well and she didn't plan this out. (she never thought you'd find out)

4. Him hanging up instantly and lying about knowing someone who has his number saved means that he's in on it, he knows that he's a secret from her boyfriend

Putting it all together, we don't know that she's cheating. It could be any number of things that are equally bad

That guy could be her drug dealer, or he could be her partner in crime and late at night they break into cars, houses and stores OR mug people.

Either way she's extremely deceitful person who lies to you constantly, can never be trusted, and is only sorry she got caught.

The real tragedy here is that she probably will learn to hide it better rather than learn not to cheat/be shady/lie

 

[marmel75]

Probably, but demanding someome drop all their male friends and exes is a weak move. You might as well have told her "I'm weak and can't compete against other men so you have to get rid of them all".

It signals weakness and insecurity on your part and probably increased the chance of this happening. There is no situation where showing weakness and insecurity makes you more attractive to a woman. So in part you did this to yourself.

 

[sazc]

She's lying to you about something, that's enough for you to know that this isn't the girl for you. The girl for you would always be honest with you.

 

[wifehunter]

Don't date sluts.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

bump

If you think a woman cheated, you next her but, not before flyering her nudes all over the net!

Gf revenge sites ftw! Wait wut?

 

[Murk]

First of all...threw her phone against the wall? C'mon.

Second, women take minimum 3 (usually 6) months to get rid of all their backup options. I am talking after you become exclusive (so yes this is essentially cheating but in my experience not an avoidable part of the game).

Finally, as far as physically cheating, I'm not sure but probably. He acts like he knows the game so he is probably a long time f*** buddy.

Yes this guy defo knows the drill

 

[TheProspect]

If you feel the urge to go through a women’s phone as well as to tell her she’s not allowed talking to any males you shouldn’t be giving her your exclusivity. Such insecurity and jealously is sure to inevitably doom any relationship. You’re not 4 years old anymore either, you don’t need to throw and break other people’s property when you get upset. No girl ever got wet watching a grown man’s temper tantrum.

Forget about relationships, sort yourself out.

 

[Spaz]

If you feel the urge to go through a women’s phone as well as to tell her she’s not allowed talking to any males you shouldn’t be giving her your exclusivity. Such insecurity and jealously is sure to inevitably doom any relationship. You’re not 4 years old anymore either, you don’t need to throw and break other people’s property when you get upset. No girl ever got wet watching a grown man’s temper tantrum.

Forget about relationships, sort yourself out.

If he goes through the phone to verify his suspicion - that's a man's legitimate right.

If his girlfriend is constantly texting or has other form of communication with other men then he has the right to request her to stop - if it's work related, school related that's fine otherwise stop.

This has nothing to do with insecurity but a normal set of rules when one enters into an exclusive relationship.

There is no such thing as a male-female platonic friendship. If you think there is then u r delusional.

 

[TheProspect]

If he goes through the phone to verify his suspicion - that's a man's legitimate right.

If his girlfriend is constantly texting or has other form of communication with other men then he has the right to request her to stop - if it's work related, school related that's fine otherwise stop.

This has nothing to do with insecurity but a normal set of rules when one enters into an exclusive relationship.

There is no such thing as a male-female platonic friendship. If you think there is then u r delusional.

You’re not entitled to possess other people’s property at your convenience because of how you feel at that moment, end of story.

If his girlfriend is texting and talking to other guys, and it irks him that bad (which has everything to do with insecurity even though you claim otherwise), he should dump her.

If you feel the need to start controlling the behaviour of a women you should dump her and find someone who already acts in a desirable manner.

Don’t get into a relationship with a woman if she doesn’t already act in a preferable manner. It’s as simple as that. Anything else is just settling for less and you are 100% responsible for the consequences that result when you lower your standards.

 

[Rainman4707]

If you cannot trust her, that is a problem.

 

[Spaz]

You mean you don't need to verify ur suspicion if ur women is cheating before dumping her?

He did.

And he dump her.

He did a great job.

 

[TheProspect]

You mean you don't need to verify ur suspicion if ur women is cheating before dumping her?

He did.

And he dump her.

He did a great job.

Verify his suspicion? Did a great job? If you need to verbally tell a women (who you are not yet exclusive with) to drop every male out of her life in order to get your exclusivity you’ve already lost the game.

A woman who’s interested level is high enough in you will willingly drop her plates (without being asked/told) in order to be exclusive with you, especially when SHE asks to be exclusive. That’s why you NEVER ask for exclusivity.

You don’t ask a girl for exclusivity, especially after one month, and especially at the same time you ask her to stop talking to other guys. There’s a reason for that.

 

[devilkingx2]

There is no such thing as a male-female platonic friendship. If you think there is then u r delusional.

While i agree that it's perfectly okay to set fair rules and bondaries and have standards in a relationship

I disagree that you can/should be able to just go through her stuff whenever you want though

And i disagree that it's impossible for her to be friends with a guy platonically, I've known plenty of women who could manage that (granted yes, I've also known women that were giant slvts that sent nudes to and fvcked all their friends)

 

[Spaz]

While i agree that it's perfectly okay to set fair rules and bondaries and have standards in a relationship

I disagree that you can/should be able to just go through her stuff whenever you want though

And i disagree that it's impossible for her to be friends with a guy platonically, I've known plenty of women who could manage that (granted yes, I've also known women that were giant slvts that sent nudes to and fvcked all their friends)

Acquaintances and Friendship.

Male acquaintance is fine, there's a boundary there.

Male friendship ? It's a lie and if u believe it then u r having delusions.

 

[Spaz]

Verify his suspicion? Did a great job? If you need to verbally tell a women (who you are not yet exclusive with) to drop every male out of her life in order to get your exclusivity you’ve already lost the game.

A woman who’s interested level is high enough in you will willingly drop her plates (without being asked/told) in order to be exclusive with you, especially when SHE asks to be exclusive. That’s why you NEVER ask for exclusivity.

You don’t ask a girl for exclusivity, especially after one month, and especially at the same time you ask her to stop talking to other guys. There’s a reason for that.

U lack understanding and most certainly lacking experience with women. That's why you've come up with this notion and this will cause you massive problems within ur own relationship with women.

 

[devilkingx2]

Acquaintances and Friendship.

Male acquaintance is fine, there's a boundary there.

Male friendship ? It's a lie and if u believe it then u r having delusions.

Well i ask, where in your mind is the line? The line between acquiantence and friend? The line between acceptable conduct for a girlfriend and unacceptable?

For me, as long as they're not spending time alone in private, flirting, getting sexual, giving him special/preferential treatment, etc. Then it's fine and i don't care.

I'd be wary of any friendship between people with nothing in common, and I'd be wary of any girl who's clearly intentionally using the betas who are obsessed with her (says horrible things about her character)

At the same time a girl who can't maintain a platonic relationship with a guy is probably a red flag (either she's boring/annoying and only has a pvssy to keep interest, or she's a huge slvt that bangs every guy she spends time with, or she treats people she doesn't want anything from badly)

EDIT: I'd be wary of a girl with a huge amount of guy friends too unless she's like a hardcore gamer or an anime fan or a computer science major, something that would place her within range of an enormous amount of men but not so many women. Without a factor like that a girl surrounded by guys is either a huge attention wh0re or a gigantic slvt

 

[the_stig]

She lied, that's all you really need to know, hiding another guy is as good as cheating to me. Every moment apart the distrust would eat you up inside. I've been there when I was younger, never again.

With that said. Never make them drop their guy friends and ex-boyfriends. It's a losing situation and makes you look insecure. As its been outlined on this site for many years, make them aware of your expectations with the opposite sex then be willing to walk away if lines are crossed. That's how a secure man handles the situation.

Lastly, try to control your emotions. It's tough when you find out you've been done wrong but outbursts and destroying personal property is going to get you in trouble. Think before you act or just walk away and readdress when you've calmed down. You're better than losing control of yourself over some dishonest..