Did I move too fast and mess it up? Please help

[jdmslimid]

Well here it goes...I met this girl online. We were texting and hit it off instantly. We have so much in common it's crazy. I'm really into her. I've never met anyone like her. Well we started texting and got super close and finally decided on a small date. Come the day of the date, everything goes perfect. We start with dinner and we're constantly smiling and talking and flirting holding hands. We're like 2 lovebirds crazy for each other. Well she said it herself she didn't want to title it just yet. I respect that it is only a first date.

Come later that night we spend the rest of the night at the park. It was amazing swinging and stargazing and laying next to each other holding hands. Well we did start to kiss a little. I feel after that kiss we fall completely for each other. Well I popped the daring questions and she said yes even though she said she wasn't ready earlier.

All went well all night. Drove her home. Cuddled and watched a movie. Here's where I think I messed up...I stood the night and cuddled with her all night. Next morning changed relationship status I think that too kinda did it but I changed it back. Now she told me things are going fast and she needs to take it slow which is acceptable. Well that was afternoon and I've gotten no texts from then on. Did I blow it? I guess could wait till morning after sending her a good night text. Also how much should I text her to see if things are good between us? I'm probably over thinking but I've fallen for her please help!

 

[hudpes]

Just stop your hamster, for god's sake. Focus on things at hand, you've got a life, don't you? Don't text anything. Text only when you're ready to see her, and only for that, no chit chat, a simple, hey, I'd like to take you out this friday will do. Save all the discussions, jokes and everything for when you're face to face. And when you are, show, rather then tell. Preserve an equilibrium of desire, if you'll add too much fuel to your flame, you'll extinguish hers.

 

[Tictac]

Yes you moved too quickly.

You can change that.

Back off.

By the way, never do this again.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I smell a troll. There are just WAAAY too many mistakes that were listed here...

 

[MOTU]

^^^Agreed. In fact, there seems to be several single post newbies with overly simplistic questions here in the last few days. I am going to be more judicious in my replies.

 

[jdmslimid]

Thanks guys. No I'm not trolling. I'm extremely into her and I just want to know how bad I messed it up if she's not texting me as much. Is she trying take it slow? Based on the other night, we were more than perfect. Then just kinda bad from there. I'm the kinda guy who has the urge to text her and I know I shouldn't right away. I just don't want her to slip away. Should I let her know that I know that i know I jumped it and of she gives it another chance we can take things slow?

 

[Tictac]

You not only moved too fast, you moved all wrong.

Work on you. Don't worry about her speed.

Desperation is not attractive.

 

[hudpes]

Don't take this the wrong way, but you've got a bad case of stupid. Don't worry though, it's a transitional disease and we all had it until we began opening our eyes and sometimes we still catch it... Didn't you read our replies? Back off. In the mean time try reading the bible, maybe you'll get the gist of it...

You ooze insecurity. Are we still okay? Do you like me? Was I too fast? Sorry, sorry, will you give me another chance if I promise I'll go slow this time. No touching or kissing or nothing, I swear, we'll just talk and count stars... please?

You act like this, and any woman will do her best to disappear.

You cuddled all night? WTF is that supposed to mean, spooning while holding hands or what? So I take it you didn't want to fvck her, didn't even try? Tried going as far as she would let you?

Here's what it looks like from her perspective: you are a NICE guy, very considerate, also, weak, feminine, insecure and clingy, with no life and her the only bright light in your life.

Now, again, back off, read the bible, then reread your posts.

 

[jdmslimid]

Thanks man. It's harsh but I needed it. I hate how I'm most of that and I don't want to come off as some clingy insecure guy. I texted her last night just saying goodnight and maybe we can talk in the morning. She didn't text me this morning and I'm I'm not gonna let it get to me. I'll just wait till later this afternoon to text her. I'll stick with your "how's it going? I'd like to take you out this week" etc etc. Like I said before I've never in met anyone like her. I don't want to let this one get away. And Yeh cuddled, spooned, crap like that. No sex was not on my mind. Honest mistake on my part I should have just dropped her off at home and left it at that I realize that now.

 

[Tictac]

Don't send 'nothing texts'.

Back off until you can deal with this woman like a woman.

Get her off the pedestal.

 

[jdmslimid]

Update... now she's blocked or deleted me off social media sites. Hasn't texted me back since Friday. Is she just trying to have her space to figure s*** out? These head games aren't working for me

 

[Dennyy]

^that still didn't give you the hints? It means she doesn't want anything to do with you. Unfortunately you're going to have to move on, this one is lost.

 

[sph21]

The truth is often harsh. If you're not ready to face the truth, don't read my post. But if you really want to know the truth, you made all basic mistakes of Mr. Nice Guy. You were too clingy, insecure, hopeless as if you don't have any higher goals than getting a girlfriend.

You were too aggressive in a scary way in her eyes. That's why she disappeared from your life.

Let's try to reverse this situation from a girl's point of view. She just met a man from ONLINE and after one date, he wants her to be his girlfriend. She said yes because she's trying to be polite (by lying) & don't want to hurt his soft feelings for her. She's afraid of what will happen next. She's thinking in her head: "what a creepy man. maybe next date he'll be proposing me. I need to vanish asap".

Start reading DJ bible and you'll soon realize your past mistakes.

 

[hudpes]

^^^^Fully agreed. First you rushed it, passed the sex, updated your relationship status with nothing in your hand... what would come next? I'd freak out if a girl did this to me. You need to ground yourself, become stable, first date go for a kiss, make out, then disappear for a few days, no texting, anything. Then propose another date. But if one thing leads to another and you end up at her or your place, playing the nice guy, "taking it slow" is like being starved, so you decide to go to a restaurant and order a glass of water. Should have gone for sex. Where that would bring you is unknown, maybe ONS, maybe a relationship, but it would have been something of substance, now there's nothing.

 

[mangotot]

Don't worry dude there is plenty more fish in the sea.

 

[GS750]

Update... now she's blocked or deleted me off social media sites. Hasn't texted me back since Friday. Is she just trying to have her space to figure s*** out? These head games aren't working for me

Bro...that's not a head game. Sorry to be harsh but she's not into you. You may be able to salvage this...maybe. The odds are not good. But your best bet is to delete her number from your phone, do not contact her in any way, shape or form, and move on. Disappear. Maybe she will contact you down the road, but anything you do at this point is going to set you back even further with her. Go ghost.

 

[jdmslimid]

I understand what you guys are saying im not dumb. My question is do I wait it out? Yeh I know space is a big thing and girls more than definitely need it. I haven't texted her at all since Saturday and I don't plan on it until like Wednesday or Thursday. Or give her a call later on in the week? Send flowers? Something to get her attention. If I feel I can salvage this, what steps should I take and has anyone been in my situation? The fact that Thursday went so damn perfect leaves me scratching thinking yes she's still interested but needs distance because of my fast moving a$$

 

[IBreatheSpears]

You guys should stop selling NC as a way to "get her back"; the real reason to go NC is to get yourself back. That she might contact you later should not be a factor, otherwise you are giving yourself false hope.

 

[All Charm]

Man you bring tears to my eyes, that story melted my heart. You two should've just bought some rings and drove straight into a church to exchange marriage vows. Woulda been the perfect love story, but something's missing; the prince charming effect. All I see is a bunch of wussies wussing up about polluting the atmosphere with ya fackin' emotions.

Man can you listen to yourself? "...holding hands...", "...lovebirds...", you curdled with her all night on your first night together, and without hitting base, you put a tag on the relationship? You just showed her your lack of better options with her. Everything you ever learnt here and out there about women and attraction you completely threw out the window just because you found some girl you "connected" with like never with anyone else. Okay, I might sound like a facking douchebag right now but look, you went out there, messed up and came back here for the same damn sh!t you already know.

You're letting all those feelings cloud your judgement on the right thing to do. Deep in your mind correct me if I'm wrong, you're making up excuses thus: 'this girl is not like that, she's not like the other sluts out there she's different' but the fact is attraction doesn't give a flying scrotum about difference. Attraction is about what works and from all you're algorithm up there, you actually cut this girl a lot of slacks.

As an attractive man with lots of options you should know how to use anticipation to make hamsters spin. Everything was probably too fast for her and now in her break, she need some time to cool off and process all that has happened in that little time and rationalise where you stand with her. Women play this game more than we do, she might just be there getting all your text and saying: "I'm gonna let him chase me...let him keep sending those texts at least that just keeps me updated on how much I'm on his mind while I go find some better option". Now since you're the last to leave a text, I'm gonna advice that you stay put and do nothing until she comes to you. As an alpha male, you are too busy with your life chasing your dreams or whatever to be orbiting a woman. You like her a lot I understand, but if you're gonna move real fast with a woman, do it so smoothly that when she finally stops to realise what is going on, she just can't believe how much she's given up. Move with intention and precision, get results. Right now you have to lay back and display an aura of poise, maintain your high status and try to move things forward without losing control.

Best of luck man

 

[jdmslimid]

All charm

Whoever you are...you deserve a medal. Idk how or why but you just enlightened the s*** out of me. Sounds like you know from experience. Not saying everyone else on here didn't help out, they did. But that right there opened my eyes. With that being said, looks like I'm staying put and not going to text for a while. If she doesn't text me, should I give her a call next week or send some flowers or some s***? All is appreciated guys