Did I get rejected?

[sosuave213]

- met girl on Hinge
- types paragraphs and is very Communicative pre-first date
- set date Sunday for Wednesday at 6
- Wednesday at 6, no-show. I call and she says "you didn't confirm, so I thought it wasn't happening"
-I told her I don't confirm dates and that she said "see you Wednesday at 6", so she apologizes by saying "my bad" and I'm sorry
- I say "I'm still here if you want to come" and she says she'll take a quick shower and be on the way.
- she shows up, we have a great time. We make out, kiss, she's laughing, and at the end of the date she gives me a long, 15-20 second embracing hug with her head on my chest.
- I call her yesterday to follow up on the date, but no answer. She texts me two hours later:



We talked about dancing and she said she was free Saturday both pre-first date and also during the date, so that's why I asked about Saturday.

I asked two of my friends that are girls if I got rejected, showed them the convo and they said "idk, seems like you got rejected" and to "keep your options open." Surprising because girls are supposed to be nice about giving advice, so if they're being honest, it's troubling.

She's also going on vacation on the 16th for three weeks, has finals until Wednesday and my plan was to ask her out on Sunday for Wednesday night, but now the ball is in her court.

That's also why I texted her, so that she can make the next move.

Did I get rejected?

 

[Deranged]

Are you trying to spin plates here or find a LTR?
You found her on Hinge. She is getting pampered with attention. The goal should be to fvck and chuck.
From what you've laid out, the things that pop out most to me are:
- She doesn't respect your time.
- You're giving off boyfriend vibes.
Instead of "did you want to go out?" it should be; "I'm headin to X on X, you should join me" or "I'm headin to X on X, it would be cool if your sexy little a$$ showed up"
Instead of placing you insecurities out on display, by saying: "Just testing you to see where your priorities are fa&&ot winkyface good night", after you've met this chick in person only ONE TIME. You should go cold and test her interest by letting her chase.
In the meantime, acquire an abundance mindset. Keep farming Hinge. If you've been working on yourself, you should feel like a king. Sell your new king self persona. These slvts should want you, not the other way around.
Good luck brother.

 

[Captain Redbeard]

Not sure you got rejected but the final message you sent almost guarantees that you won't be seeing this woman again.

Btw how is not confirming dates going for you? Hard to expect women to respect your time when you don't respect it yourself

 

[Hal9000]

With a friend. Lol

 

[sosuave213]

Are you trying to spin plates here or find a LTR?
You found her on Hinge. She is getting pampered with attention. The goal should be to fvck and chuck.
From what you've laid out, the things that pop out most to me are:
- She doesn't respect your time.
- You're giving off boyfriend vibes.
Instead of "did you want to go out?" it should be; "I'm headin to X on X, you should join me" or "I'm headin to X on X, it would be cool if your sexy little a$$ showed up"
Instead of placing you insecurities out on display, by saying: "Just testing you to see where your priorities are fa&&ot winkyface good night", after you've met this chick in person only ONE TIME. You should go cold and test her interest by letting her chase.
In the meantime, acquire an abundance mindset. Keep farming Hinge. If you've been working on yourself, you should feel like a king. Sell your new king self persona. These slvts should want you, not the other way around.
Good luck brother.

If that were true that she is talking to multiple guys, I seriously doubt she's sending paragraphs for texts to all of them...it's too much investment. She also decided to see me on the fly when she could have just said, "I can't tonight." fa&&ot winkyface

 

[sosuave213]

This forum's been wrong before on many topics I've posted (telling me I'd never see a chick again because I didn't follow some stupid timed rule, then I proceeded to smash the next time I saw her), pretty sure they'll be wrong again. Sosuave has changed a lot in the past few years...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This forum's been wrong before on many topics I've posted (telling me I'd never see a chick again because I didn't follow some stupid timed rule, then I proceeded to smash the next time I saw her), pretty sure they'll be wrong again. Sosuave has changed a lot in the past few years...

No, you simply fail to realize that every interaction is about PERCENTAGES.

Sure, you can do the wrong things and still end up getting laid with a 10% chance of it happening, but why would you then point that out as something you'd want to do when you could have done things that would lead to a 90% chance?

You never know how any interaction will go with a particular woman so holding up "See, I still did this and it worked" as an example of why you should be doing low success rate behavior isn't going to get you far in the long run.

The goal is to maximize your chance of success. Note this doesn't GUARANTEE SUCCESS it, just like not doing it doesn't GUARANTEE FAILURE. It simply maximizes your chances of the desired outcome.

 

[sosuave213]

No, you simply fail to realize that every interaction is about PERCENTAGES.

Sure, you can do the wrong things and still end up getting laid with a 10% chance of it happening, but why would you then point that out as something you'd want to do when you could have done things that would lead to a 90% chance?

You never know how any interaction will go with a particular woman so holding up "See, I still did this and it worked" as an example of why you should be doing low success rate behavior isn't going to get you far in the long run.

The goal is to maximize your chance of success. Note this doesn't GUARANTEE SUCCESS it, just like not doing it doesn't GUARANTEE FAILURE. It simply maximizes your chances of the desired outcome.

Your focus is on getting laid. I'm way past that and I'm into quality relationships, not hoebags. Thanks for the advice though

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If that were true that she is talking to multiple guys, I seriously doubt she's sending paragraphs for texts to all of them...it's too much investment. She also decided to see me on the fly when she could have just said, "I can't tonight." fa&&ot winkyface

Don't be so naive. All women on dating apps are talking to multiple guys. I mean every morning she is waking up to 20+ matches most likely and 35+ messages.

You convinced a woman who dissed you to show up, she had fun, and then left. That doesn't mean she wants to see you again.

Why? Who knows. Probably it's one of either she is waiting on someone else who she finds more attractive than you, something about you she doesn't like and it turns her off or she may already have a boyfriend and just likes having fun nights out with randoms because she is considering monkey branching.

Or any of 100 other possibilities.

The biggest single mistake guys on dating apps make is that thinking because you went out and had a fun night out with a woman that she will want to see you again. Often times she doesn't.

Guys who realize this is a volume game and have women in their pipeline don't care and keep it moving because they have 3-4 more dates coming up in the next 2 weeks and are getting 3-4 new numbers a day from new matches.

Those who don't end up "devastated" and need time to recover because they think "she was perfect". She likely wasn't, you just saw what she wanted to show in the short time you keep her.

Bottom line, never assume you will ever see a woman again until you've fvcked her and nowadays that's not even a guarantee anymore.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your focus is on getting laid. I'm way past that and I'm into quality relationships, not hoebags. Thanks for the advice though

Silly boy...that's how you get into relationships. This is the real world, not a Disney Movie. You don't start a relationship then get laid. You get laid then start a relationship.

That's how it actually works in real life.

Trying to do things backwards leads to lots of frustration and lots of failed dates. From both sides.

I'm not saying you have to bang every woman on the first date, but the sooner you do the sooner you can start focusing on your "precious relationship" that you cherish so much.

That should be the woman's job to get you into a relationship, not yours. Wild stallions don't run into barns and slam the door shut behind them. I suspect you will have trouble keeping women with that mindset who will sense something is "off" that they can't place.

 

[sosuave213]

Don't be so naive. All women on dating apps are talking to multiple guys. I mean every morning she is waking up to 20+ matches most likely and 35+ messages.

You convinced a woman who dissed you to show up, she had fun, and then left. That doesn't mean she wants to see you again.

Why? Who knows. Probably it's one of either she is waiting on someone else who she finds more attractive than you, something about you she doesn't like and it turns her off or she may already have a boyfriend and just likes having fun nights out with randoms because she is considering monkey branching.

Or any of 100 other possibilities.

The biggest single mistake guys on dating apps make is that thinking because you went out and had a fun night out with a woman that she will want to see you again. Often times she doesn't.

Guys who realize this is a volume game and have women in their pipeline don't care and keep it moving because they have 3-4 more dates coming up in the next 2 weeks and are getting 3-4 new numbers a day from new matches.

Those who don't end up "devastated" and need time to recover because they think "she was perfect". She likely wasn't, you just saw what she wanted to show in the short time you keep her.

Bottom line, never assume you will ever see a woman again until you've fvcked her and nowadays that's not even a guarantee anymore.

With all due respect, I know a woman who met her current boyfriend of two years on the same dating app. They went out to lunch for their first date. They texted every day since then. She's also got the body of a model. Understandably these are the exceptions, and I may have found one.

I'm not putting all my hopes and dreams into this opportunity as it was just one date, but it's pessimistic to assume she's just another one entertaining multiple men's attention. I did not get those vibes at all. No slut vibes either. And remember, women vote with their feet, so I suppose we're all just speculating.

My real question is, is there a sliver of a chance for a second date, or should I just move on.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

With a friend. Lol

More like "I had my mouth full when you called"

 

[sosuave213]

More like "I had my mouth full when you called"

Great stuff. The lack of trust in women is emanating.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

With all due respect, I know a woman who met her current boyfriend of two years on the same dating app. They went out to lunch for their first date. They texted every day since then. She's also got the body of a model. Understandably these are the exceptions, and I may have found one.

I'm not putting all my hopes and dreams into this opportunity as it was just one date, but it's pessimistic to assume she's just another one entertaining multiple men's attention. I did not get those vibes at all. No slut vibes either. And remember, women vote with their feet, so I suppose we're all just speculating.

My real question is, is there a sliver of a chance for a second date, or should I just move on.

I text women I am dating pretty much every day too, far more than most would recommend. A text here and there, maybe a few a day. As long as you have skills in that domain they will look forward to receiving your texts, otherwise you can risk overdoing it saying something wrong. But that's neither here nor there to your situation.


IMO, she already told you no once then you "saved it" by convincing her to show up.

I always am a firm believer of making a woman say no or doing something that shows it(which her blowing you off did, regardless of what she is saying).

But...just in case on the odd chance she is more into now that you met, ask her out again and make her say no.

She did not say no to seeing you again, she just said no to Saturday. But she also didn't counter offer with another day which typically would happen if she actually wanted to see you.

IMO right now you are the guy she sees when she has nothing better to do and you'll never see her when she actually does but she will have fun talking and giving you hope.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Great stuff. The lack of trust in women is emanating.

Trust? You don't even know her. Why are you acting like this is not a distinct possibility?

Your lack of seeing the world as it really is and seeing it thru the rose colored glasses you convince yourself is there is going to get your soul crushed one day by one of these women you trust so much.

And it will have happened because you wouldn't accept the truth you saw with your own two eyes and heard with your own two ears and felt within your own gut.

You need to stop being naive to how things work, especially in dating and especially early on.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

"This weekend I have to study for my finals remember?" - that would be an automatic next/ghost for me.

 

[sosuave213]

I text women I am dating pretty much every day too, far more than most would recommend. A text here and there, maybe a few a day. As long as you have skills in that domain they will look forward to receiving your texts, otherwise you can risk overdoing it saying something wrong. But that's neither here nor there to your situation.


IMO, she already told you no once then you "saved it" by convincing her to show up.

I always am a firm believer of making a woman say no or doing something that shows it(which her blowing you off did, regardless of what she is saying).

But...just in case on the odd chance she is more into now that you met, ask her out again and make her say no.

She did not say no to seeing you again, she just said no to Saturday. But she also didn't counter offer with another day which typically would happen if she actually wanted to see you.

IMO right now you are the guy she sees when she has nothing better to do and you'll never see her when she actually does.

I like your point of making her say no. It eliminates a lot of my fear.

Thank you.

Also she never said no to the first date, she just said "I forgot" because I didn't confirm. And on the first date I actually encouraged her to study for finals instead of cheat on them, which she suggested and which would have opened up time for us on Saturday. I'm just playing the long game.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I like your point of making her say no. It eliminates a lot of my fear.

Thank you.

Also she never said no to the first date, she just said "I forgot" because I didn't confirm. And on the first date I actually encouraged her to study for finals instead of cheat on them, which she suggested and which would have opened up time for us on Saturday. I'm just playing the long game.

C'mon man...when was the last time you "forgot" to do something you were really excited to do?

 

[sosuave213]

C'mon man...when was the last time you "forgot" to do something you were really excited to do?

Yes, but she complained that I didn't confirm it, and that it has been her experience that she's been flaked on when confirmations don't occur.

 

[Bingo-Player]

- met girl on Hinge
- types paragraphs and is very Communicative pre-first date
- set date Sunday for Wednesday at 6
- Wednesday at 6, no-show. I call and she says "you didn't confirm, so I thought it wasn't happening"
-I told her I don't confirm dates and that she said "see you Wednesday at 6", so she apologizes by saying "my bad" and I'm sorry
- I say "I'm still here if you want to come" and she says she'll take a quick shower and be on the way.
- she shows up, we have a great time. We make out, kiss, she's laughing, and at the end of the date she gives me a long, 15-20 second embracing hug with her head on my chest.
- I call her yesterday to follow up on the date, but no answer. She texts me two hours later:

View attachment 11636

We talked about dancing and she said she was free Saturday both pre-first date and also during the date, so that's why I asked about Saturday.

I asked two of my friends that are girls if I got rejected, showed them the convo and they said "idk, seems like you got rejected" and to "keep your options open." Surprising because girls are supposed to be nice about giving advice, so if they're being honest, it's troubling.

She's also going on vacation on the 16th for three weeks, has finals until Wednesday and my plan was to ask her out on Sunday for Wednesday night, but now the ball is in her court.

That's also why I texted her, so that she can make the next move.

Did I get rejected?

Look women aren't stupid if she's hot for you she will generally make it pretty easy for you

Her messages are flatline there's literally nothing in them and that's never a good sign

Also for future reference messaging a woman " I'm glad you've text me " is like asking her for a one way ticket into the friendzone

" I've kicked a$$ in this mornings workout " again why does she care ? it sounds like you're going out of your way trying to impress her

I'm guessing your pretty young so you can be forgiven but just remember in future when texting women

LESS IS MORE