Did I Dump Her, Or Her Me?

[orbion2013]

had another bad day today... still have moments when i want to mail her & tell her, that i didnt want to be with her anyway & i am done with her..

but i keep riegning myself in.... this soooo hard man!

i defo do not want her back.... i just don't want her feeling smug, thinking i am hurt & torn up about it ending

i am glad she is gone... whats hurts me is, why i put up with so much crap & why i did not drop her like a sack of spanners ages ago

 

[Kbomb]

had another bad day today... still have moments when i want to mail her & tell her, that i didnt want to be with her anyway & i am done with her..

but i keep riegning myself in.... this soooo hard man!

i defo do not want her back.... i just don't want her feeling smug, thinking i am hurt & torn up about it ending

i am glad she is gone... whats hurts me is, why i put up with so much crap & why i did not drop her like a sack of spanners ages ago

You want to message her because you want her back. Your brain craves her psychotic insanity, most likely because your mom did the same thing to you when you were young. You crave the rejection, because it allows you the bliss of acceptance. She was treating you like a lab rat in her maze, feeding you acceptance to keep you around, then harshly rejecting you to keep you servile. You need to be rid of it all, leave behind the insanity.

You have to learn to accept yourself, which comes through self work and self-exploration. You cannot be in a relationship when you are functionally a mystery to yourself. Every woman in your life will be dealing with a bad liar who can't act.

 

[orbion2013]

lol wrong mate... i would never go back there.... never... i am glad to have finaly escaped from cluster b land

 

[orbion2013]

before i started dating her, i didn't even know what bdp is.... but seriously i am done with her 100%

but yeh i am not going to pretend it is easy... i,m just finding it hard to vanish... i have this urge to tell her, i don't give a f@ck about her lol

 

[JWT]

[QUOTE
but yeh i am not going to pretend it is easy... i,m just finding it hard to vanish... i have this urge to tell her, i don't give a f@ck about her lol[/QUOTE]

Telling her you don't give a fvck about her validates her. Think about it. If you truly don't give a fvck about someone, you wouldn't contact them and say so. What's the point? Saying nothing at all sends a way more powerful message. She's all about receiving attention. Even negative attention, like your drafted up e-mail, is attention. Give her attention and you give her power over you. Trust me. I just learned the hard way.

 

[VladTepes]

You're agonizing...lol. I think there's still a part of you that wanted her. Is she that good? Hahaha...just kidding! I hope your are not staying in your shell Orbion. Start getting your life back, there are a lot of things that you miss when your in a relationship with her. You have to start going out NOW and have some fun. Let the hunt begin!!!

 

[JWT]

had another bad day today... still have moments when i want to mail her & tell her, that i didnt want to be with her anyway & i am done with her..

but i keep riegning myself in.... this soooo hard man!

i defo do not want her back.... i just don't want her feeling smug, thinking i am hurt & torn up about it ending

i am glad she is gone... whats hurts me is, why i put up with so much crap & why i did not drop her like a sack of spanners ages ago

Going through the same struggle as you know. Talked to someone today about it. They said to stop obsessing over what she is doing, feeling, etc. That's been my problem. Time to put ourselves first, not them. It's not being selfish, just the right thing to do. If you are 100% sure you don't want her back, then who cares what she is doing and thinking. You'll have up and downs and good days and bad days. Accept it and each day will get a little easier. Give yourself credit for making it this long going NC. You're stronger than you think.

 

[orbion2013]

man today is a very hard day.... it's not because i miss her or want her back... just regretful for putting up with this kinds sh@t from her

should have cut her loose ages ago.... have so many things i want to say to her... but have to stick with no contact

 

[joker79]

stay strong bro