Did I Dump Her, Or Her Me?

[orbion2013]

f@ck saKe... everybody keeps telling me, i have the upper hand by going complete ghost on her, from the very day we had the argument..

yet it does not feel that way... she is the one who sent me the email 6 days later, saying its over...

i don't see how i have the upper hand.... don't worry guys, i will not be texting her... just does not feel good thats all

 

[El Suave]

This is how you have the upper hand: they can't stand not knowing how you feel about the whole situation if you don't respond! First she will think you are too hurt to respond (she likes that thought, it makes her feel almighty), then she will start to think that you don't care. That you never cared. They are insecure like that. Next, she will think she is not good enough and that's why you never cared.
You know how you think in your head every minute of the day about her right now? That's exactly what she is doing, too. The moment you text or email her, she's not gonna think **** about you besides that you are a spineless little maggot that gave in and contacted her because he was thinking to much about her and couldn't take it anymore.
Your choice.
Remember, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. It drives them crazy to be ignored.

 

[orbion2013]

This is how you have the upper hand: they can't stand not knowing how you feel about the whole situation if you don't respond! First she will think you are too hurt to respond (she likes that thought, it makes her feel almighty), then she will start to think that you don't care. That you never cared. They are insecure like that. Next, she will think she is not good enough and that's why you never cared.
You know how you think in your head every minute of the day about her right now? That's exactly what she is doing, too. The moment you text or email her, she's not gonna think **** about you besides that you are a spineless little maggot that gave in and contacted her because he was thinking to much about her and couldn't take it anymore.
Your choice.
Remember, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. It drives them crazy to be ignored.

the thing is, i went ghost 5 days before she sent me the email ending it... so in some ways, she was trying to dump someone, WHO HAD ALREADY GONE!

and i think she knew this... she knew it was over, because i didn't ring, text or come looking for her like a well trained puppy.

she wanted that control over me.. for me to come crawling to her... when that did not happen, she decided to throw in the towel

F@ck her!!!!

 

[TheGambino]

f@ck saKe... everybody keeps telling me, i have the upper hand by going complete ghost on her, from the very day we had the argument..

yet it does not feel that way... she is the one who sent me the email 6 days later, saying its over...

i don't see how i have the upper hand.... don't worry guys, i will not be texting her... just does not feel good thats all

I like your situation bro. You have the upper hand, you have the strength but you don't realize it. She threated you bad. Doesn't matter that you made mistakes in the past, you now acted like a man and cut contact from her. You went ghost and ignored her bullsh*t. It doesn't matter what she texts afterwards, it's all an ego issue, shes trying to convince you and herself that shes ending it, that it's her choise but to be honest it was yours!

If you begged her and acted all AFC or responded with any kind of text she would get validation for her bullsh*T. At that point she will move on and forget about you. Now that you went ghost first and she kept communicating to you, it's really you that have the upper hand. I wish I was in the same situation with a ex of mine but I replied to her and even showed desperate signs so she pulled out and left me for good.

If you want to move on as a man of value, and have her confused about the break up and confused if it was right to threat you badly and have her obsess about you, keep on no contact, keep on ghost and MOVE ON, talk to other girls. You have the upper hand in this situaton for real. If you tell her it's over or tell her anything, she will know how you feel about the situation (doesn't matter if you tell her your indifferent or hurt or dont care about her) and she will get her reply and she will forget about you eventually. If you dont reply at all she will die to know what's on your mind and that's what shes doing, contactig you all the time to get any kind of reaction, don't give her that validation, attention. If she threated you right over the years and was loving and a good girl, talk to her man end it, if she made your life miserable, ''GHOST''.

Case closed.

 

[orbion2013]

I like your situation bro. You have the upper hand, you have the strength but you don't realize it. She threated you bad. Doesn't matter that you made mistakes in the past, you now acted like a man and cut contact from her. You went ghost and ignored her bullsh*t. It doesn't matter what she texts afterwards, it's all an ego issue, shes trying to convince you and herself that shes ending it, that it's her choise but to be honest it was yours!

If you begged her and acted all AFC or responded with any kind of text she would get validation for her bullsh*T. At that point she will move on and forget about you. Now that you went ghost first and she kept communicating to you, it's really you that have the upper hand. I wish I was in the same situation with a ex of mine but I replied to her and even showed desperate signs so she pulled out and left me for good.

If you want to move on as a man of value, and have her confused about the break up and confused if it was right to threat you badly and have her obsess about you, keep on no contact, keep on ghost and MOVE ON, talk to other girls. You have the upper hand in this situaton for real.

Case closed.

yeh i,m begining to see exactly what you mean.....

also she sent 8 emails over the space of 2 days... this is a sign of her hamster spinning, because i did not respond back at all

it takes one email to dump a person... not f@cking 8 emails over the space of two days!

this is a win win situation.... I DO not want this woman back... her idea of a relationship is a f@cking joke!

i,m going to stay 100% ghost... you guys give some great advice... thank you

 

[joker79]

let 30 days pass and you will see yourself in a completely different way, grateful not to have replied to her. El Suave gave you golden advice

 

[orbion2013]

let 30 days pass and you will see yourself in a completely different way, grateful not to have replied to her. El Suave gave you golden advice

2 weeks out, and i,m already questioning myself, why the f@ck did i even consider something long term with her.... man this woman is like a poison in my body.

f@cking addiction i need to rid off... the push/pull cycle these woman use, leaves you feeling like a junkie!!

i just hope the day comes soon, where i don't even think about this woman again!

 

[orbion2013]

feel so ****ty today...

 

[El Suave]

You would feel worse if you were still with her.

 

[papawapa]

It takes time. The first few months were like constant torture for me. It will get easier. I promise. If you want to speed it up then get laid, even if it means banging a hooker.

 

[El Suave]

It takes time. The first few months were like constant torture for me. It will get easier. I promise. If you want to speed it up then get laid, even if it means banging a hooker.

Haha. I banged a couple of fatties. Made me feel good and bad, but kept my mind off the ex.

 

[orbion2013]

It takes time. The first few months were like constant torture for me. It will get easier. I promise. If you want to speed it up then get laid, even if it means banging a hooker.

right now... i can't even think of f@cking other woman...


all i know is, i need her out of my system so i can smile again.... i,m just in a state of confusion...

i feel good, then start feeling low again

i know i do not want her back in my life... that is for sure... why would i want a snake back in my life... she is broken

just regret not kicking her ass to the curb sooner

 

[orbion2013]

maybe it's my huuge f@cking ego.... but if i had dumped her, i would have felt sooooooooo much better!

100% don't want her back... just a big F@ck you to her, for treating others like crap!

 

[London NATURAL]

Tldr
To much mental masturbation, it really doesn't matter, move on.

 

[El Suave]

maybe it's my huuge f@cking ego.... but if i had dumped her, i would have felt sooooooooo much better!

100% don't want her back... just a big F@ck you to her, for treating others like crap!

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT DUMPED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember when she left the house you changed your phone number and went No Contact? Isn't that dumping to you? You wanted to tell her that you dump her, that would make you feel better. Well, the way you did it was way more elegant than saying anything. It conveyed to her the idea that she isn't even worth words anymore. You showed by doing this that you have higher value than her.
That is why you got 8 emails from her saying that SHE'S dumping you. Classic woman behavior trying to turn things around. You humbled her and she's pissed. Good!

 

[JWT]

[QUOTE

anyhow had a big bust up with her, last sunday... she was totaly at fault...

she left my home pisssed off... as soon as she left, i changed my mobile number and blocked her from my email

i decided to vanish and have nothing to do with her again.... she is one nasty piece of work

anyhow not said a word to her in the last 9 days

anyhow, i was certain i had blocked her from my email, but for some reason some of her emails came through


she sent me 8 emails, saying that it was over between us... that i did not treat her right blah blah blah horse sh@t
[/QUOTE]

Almost the same thing happened to me last Sunday - she stormed out of my house after a petty argument. I've put up with that sh#t too long and didn't try to stop her and went NC. She texted me two days later. I gave in and responded back but kept it brief. Next day she leaves a vm. I'm at work and had plans after and told her this on text. Of course that enraged her as I wasn't available to talk when Princess wanted me to. Anyway she proceeded to break up with me on text. After a few more texts, she said all she wanted to fo was talk and wished I would have called her back. Didn't have the chance as her preemptive strike of breaking up with me prevented me from calling. Anyway, we agreed to talk three days later. I'm in between that time now and the more I think about it, I don't see what there us to discuss and why she wants to talk in the first place. She's threatened to break up many times and later said she only said so because she was upset. This time I am holding her accountable and going NC for good. Hope you stay strong and do the same!

 

[orbion2013]

Almost the same thing happened to me last Sunday - she stormed out of my house after a petty argument. I've put up with that sh#t too long and didn't try to stop her and went NC. She texted me two days later. I gave in and responded back but kept it brief. Next day she leaves a vm. I'm at work and had plans after and told her this on text. Of course that enraged her as I wasn't available to talk when Princess wanted me to. Anyway she proceeded to break up with me on text. After a few more texts, she said all she wanted to fo was talk and wished I would have called her back. Didn't have the chance as her preemptive strike of breaking up with me prevented me from calling. Anyway, we agreed to talk three days later. I'm in between that time now and the more I think about it, I don't see what there us to discuss and why she wants to talk in the first place. She's threatened to break up many times and later said she only said so because she was upset. This time I am holding her accountable and going NC for good. Hope you stay strong and do the same!

so do you think i did right thing by just going complete ghost on her on the day of argumet?

or should i have dumped her with a priemtive strike? rather then her sending the email ending it

 

[JWT]

Yes, you definitely did the right thing! I didn't by replying back to her. I still have a second chance to go permanently Ghost and am working my way up to it. Stay strong. I hope you still haven't sent your reply? El Suave's advice is one of the best I've seen in here.

 

[orbion2013]

Yes, you definitely did the right thing! I didn't by replying back to her. I still have a second chance to go permanently Ghost and am working my way up to it. Stay strong. I hope you still haven't sent your reply? El Suave's advice is one of the best I've seen in here.

no mate...

some nights i am crawling up the f@cking walls... wanting to tell her... that i don't give a f@ck about her emails, that i want nothing to do with her & i,m 100% done with her & want her out of my life

then i come back on here & read what everybody has told me lol brings me back down to earth

 

[JWT]

then i come back on here & read what everybody has told me lol brings me back down to earth

Then keep coming back here. I'm doing the same. Whatever it takes. Just don't write her. She'll gain power back and probably won't even reply back and then you'll suffer a huge setback and regret it. It's tempting and human nature to want to get the last word in, but sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. I keep telling that to myself and hope I can hold out as well.